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Oct 2015 · 320
gone
sad baby Oct 2015
she was everywhere at once
nowhere at the same time
she was invisible to all
at home reminded of her mistakes
at school huge disgrace
she had no friends
she wasn't able to make amends
her life consisted pain
she wants to leave but she knows things might get better
but it's now or never
the pills or rope?
either way everyone will think it was a joke
Oct 2015 · 416
Distant
sad baby Oct 2015
you said i was distant
you wouldn't stop asking without persistence
i told you what was wrong
and about how it's gone on for so long
you admitted your mistakes
and told me it was going to be ok
i knew that wasn't going to be the case
Aug 2015 · 504
I lost everything
sad baby Aug 2015
I want to die
and theres no where for me to hide
my family hates me
their biggest wish would have to be to erase me
i no longer have any friends
i couldn't have predicted that this would be the way for everything to end
one ******* mistake
another chance i didn't take
i'm left here drowning
without any frowning
i've been fighting alone
now there's simply nowhere left for me to go
suicide note?
sad baby Jul 2015
eating myself to the point of being sick, just to do it again the next day
having the emotions bottle up to the point of explosions all over my body
staying up until 3 am and crying in the shower
looking at other's profile's and comparing myself to those with stuff i will never be able to have
having your "best" be considered another's failure
locking yourself in the washroom stall, because the anxiety and fear of being alone overwhelms you
needing to get high once a week to be able to feel normal again
to have days where getting out of bed isn't even an option
you just don't know what it feels like
Jul 2015 · 757
a mistake
sad baby Jul 2015
it's not something i've did or done
i became it
the mistake is me
you may ask "what do you mean?"
i am a sickly flawed being
who's creation is regretted undoubtedly
told day in and day out
"you are nothing", you see
even if i didn't do anything wrong
the mistake is me
the way i look, laugh, love
none of it is right
and i just want to blur the lines
so that i could be somebody else
it just too painful
knowing because of me being a mistake
there's no one else to blame
Jul 2015 · 442
you told me you didn't care
sad baby Jul 2015
you told me you didn't give a **** about anything
i thought it was ok, good enough that you let me (in)
you told me you were beginning to feel sad
i noticed and decided that's why you were acting so bad
you told me you loved me
i was left wondering why you shoved me
you told me i wasn't enough
i believed you and decided, i deserved to be treated so rough
you told me you didn't need me
at this point i was stuck on trying to read (you)
when you told me you didn't give a **** about anything
i should have listened
Jul 2015 · 981
what is guilt?
sad baby Jul 2015
is it the way i lied, when i said i wished you'd die
is it the way i steal, just to feel
is it the way i cry, and have no idea why
is it the way i hide, when i'm supposed to confide (in you)
**which one is it?
Jul 2015 · 405
suicide note
sad baby Jul 2015
I wanted to tell you for quite some time
not everything had been fine
it’s been awhile since we last spoke
when you read this i really hope you don’t choke

it’s been like this for years
always full to the brink with tears

how would i have ever been able to tell you
every month i get chills
when i come home and see the pile of unpaid bills

always wondering if there would be enough to eat
when there was never any money, i couldn’t sleep

how would i have ever been able to tell you
whenever i was with you i felt safe
somehow you were able to open the gate (that is me)
when nobody else had bothered to look for the key

how would i have ever been able to tell you
that i’ve been really sick
my mind had been playing tricks
i tell myself i’m ugly and fat
i already know you would have said “please don’t believe that”

how would i have ever been able to tell you
when my brother would get angry he would punch me
i typically would lunge (on the floor to avoid it)

how would i have ever been able to tell you
my mother tells me i am unwanted
when i try to get help i get taunted
always wondering if would get a proposition
to get out of this position

but tonight i’ve had enough
of teachers telling me “you are dumb”
i’m sick and tired of walking around like and idiot
and i know i’m about to do something hideous

and if you were still there, you could have shown me that you cared
but i’ve really had my fair share (of this world)
*goodbye
Jul 2015 · 748
Mom and Dad
sad baby Jul 2015
i hate you both
dad to me your nothing but a ghost
mom ever since i was 13 i've been crying myself to sleep
you have not once payed attention to me, never even heard me weep

all you've ever noticed are my ***** up
and i know at times i could be corrupt

over and over
reminded my about my failing grades,
which led me to begin bringing out my blade

when i told you (mom) i was depressed
you laughed at me, and said you don't even know anything about stress, how could you be depressed?

and dad what on earth happened to you
you always seem to go insane
never bothering to call
always leave me wondering where you are
you're always sick because of your daily "one too many drinks"
i used to get disappointed
but now i've learned to expect nothing less of you
Jul 2015 · 595
Drunk
sad baby Jul 2015
i felt quite **** yesterday and again as well today
it's all i've been feeling sad and lonely, but hey!
why would i expect anyone to stay?
every night is the **** ******* same
none of the thoughts could ever be tamed
i seem to be lacking in some major self control
and lately it's been taking a toll
so i get drunk
again and again
at 1am to forget
and 2pm to regret
and 5am to be able to sleep
and by the time i wake up two hours later at 7, all i could do was weep
Jul 2015 · 308
two became one
sad baby Jul 2015
two became one as we watched the sun
fade away
like our love
you said we're done
hence
we watched the moon
an overcast of doom
i just wish it ended different
so i wouldn't have to miss it
Jul 2015 · 1.2k
loner
sad baby Jul 2015
wandering aimlessly through the halls
or tears in the bathroom stall
did anyone see her fall?
no, no one at all
she's not that tall
you see the way she hides between the walls
it's not ok
what you say makes her feel like ****
you would never admit
so she stays alone
it's easier than let them know
Jul 2015 · 585
Regret
sad baby Jul 2015
it's a funny word
not quite sure what the definition is
maybe it's the fact we met
or the way you slept
(next to me)
or maybe it's the way you now treat me
as if i'm diseased
the memories were great
it's now too late
everything we had was left wasting
all the kisses were sour tasting
i regret
i regret
i regret
Jul 2015 · 1.0k
Sadness
sad baby Jul 2015
the feeling eats away at me
tearing away at me piece by piece
everything is a blur
as if someone is stirring and shaking the world
i can't see
hello?
can you help me
i'm lost
but you couldn't hear a word i said
you shook your head and walked passed me as if we've never met
now i am drowning in regret
you see, i've been slipping away from quite someone
but i've been lying
not able to let anyone
see the extent, that this had been destroying me
and it's like you all treat me as a joke
every ******* time i choke
hey?
are you still there?
i just fell really hard
can you tell?
as i struggle to get up from the same fetal position i lay on the floor every night
you laugh and say "they were right"
you listened to what everyone thinks and says about me,
i'm over here now crying and shaking
you're over there saying oh, man i must have been mistaken
mistaken to love someone as sad as i

— The End —