I noticed how freaked out they got
when that couple kissed in sight
or smiled just a little too wide
into each others’ adoring eyes
and it felt like compressed air
too many soggy molecules
packed into fleeting cold stares
because god forbid you be happy
and *you don’t get to have love
when I can barely sleep at night
because my silly ******* job
keeps me from what I really want
and I am always the depressed wolf
who gave up on finding meaning
from this **** storm we call life
so please, “get a ******* room”
you stupid storybook happy people
I don’t want you to remind me
that I used to want to care
or that my thoughts used to have
resemblance of a child’s wish list
just get out of our deteriorating lives
don’t ******* come here again
with your stupid storybook ****.

I'm a lot gayer than originally planned.
*******. Gay.
But I'm worried about the concept;
not sure if it's right to use the word
“gay”
when (I'm sorry I said it)
I'm really bisexual,
just particularly into women right now.
Like,
is that bad representation
of my sexuality?
Only encouraging
bi-erasure?
It just doesn't have the same
“umph”
to say
I'm feeling particularly
bisexual today.
But I've been telling myself
over and over
that it's okay,
no matter what
I'm feeling today.
I don't
need
your
box

anymore.

why are you so cute?!
*******
i can't breathe
i used my last
on saying "hi"
and "how are your classes?"
and can i kiss you?
which i swear
i almost said
but *******
do i want to
to feel your hand again
brushing mine by accident
hot ****
i remember that
and oh i can breathe again
to say "bye"
and "see ya around"
hopefully tomorrow
and the day after maybe
hopefully always
i miss you already

I used to be
afraid of my *****,
thought it looked loose
and unusually mushy.

I thought my first time
having ***
would be lights off
in an insecure mess.

I'd been told
"they're all unique"
but I'd look at mine, teary eyed
and couldn't even speak.

It wasn't until I went
lights on with a girl
and I still thought she was
the most beautiful thing in the world

that I realized how
she felt the same
and we only put
our own bodies to shame.

So I want to write an ode
to my beautiful ******
and give her the love
she deserves.

(p.s. I named her Carolina)

your lips taste like sunflower seeds and nicotine,
i imagine,
though I've never seen you chewing
sunflower seeds.
your favorite place to have ***,
i imagine,
is on top of a stranger's pool table.
not that I've heard stories.
one day i made a joke
and your laugh and smile combined
made me permanently *****
but still, i only imagine.
i just keep tasting
you in my
sleep.