Being in love can be such a pain
I know what you're going through
and I have to say that I'm truly sorry
being so far away from your partner
can be so agitating..
But you have to remember what will come next
when you're finally together things will be fixed
the love you've been storing away just for them,
you'll finally be able to let out and give.
So just hold on a little longer, okay?

What am I afraid of?
Here is some sort of list,
I'm afraid of snakes, bugs, bats, birds, and nearly anything that can fly!
Those aren't the only things I'm afraid of that are also alive though.
I'm afraid of horses, piranhas, elephants and heights
Pregnancy, loud noises, hospitals and walking outside alone at night.
I could probably go on and on with this list because fear is somewhat infinite and I will
I'm afraid of loud noises, being left behind and the germs of childhood friends and others who could've smothered them on my pillow from drooling at night
I'm afraid of school, females, males, and people in general. Failing. Falling. Drowning and death. Who knew there could be so many things haunting me?
****. Bridges that are taller than me, being lied to, aging, and foods that are too spicy.. It may sound childish, just stay away from me if you're eating spicy calamari..


Did you think I was done? Because I've only just begun..
I'm afraid of situations, such as when people distance themselves from me too quickly. It ties into my fear of being left behind,
Don't abandon me.
I'm afraid of my mom, needles, parties and more it's mostly because of past experience, but I'll leave out the gore..

You could find someone better, trust me I'm someone who hides their feelings beneath their sweaters I'm a distanced person who spaces out even in the moments that are most important. My anxiety keeps me from saying the things that I want to blurt out so badly but cannot because of the words that others will slap down on me. Trust me I'm not someone to stand beside. Toxicity engulfs me often I'm barely pushing through this sticky path that was created out of hate my anxiety is always entertained do you not understand the pain that these people have caused me to feel!?
Insane.
I always thought I was, because my thoughts often turned from happy to horrific once something bad had been said, well what did you expect?! For me to be perfectly happy afterwords and forgive you as if you had never meant the words that twisted and slurred around in my mind, ******* it's about time you learned your place bullying is not something that can be accepted so easily so stop doing it for ***** sake I cannot begin to describe the way I hated myself for so long! I'm damaged even now from back then and it's been so long! I know you don't give not one single ****. It's depressing really, how empty I had and have felt because of you..
Let me try to define this kind of pain for you since I know you'd never be able to handle the things that went through my mind after what you had caused me to feel. You see I have always been trapped inside of a shell, even when I was very young I was shy but you made it a point to deny it's all in my mind you said to me a billion times but did you know that I was dreaming of dying, drowning, suffocating, nearly injuring myself as the tears would fall down. I was a suicidal case thanks to the things people had forced me to endure you thought it was funny but would you still if you knew how violent I had become towards myself?!
Just try to imagine now, you have a child and will probably have more what will you say to them when they come rushing in through the door, their angering tears slapping down against the floorboards as if they were raindrops will you let them know you were not a victim!? I bet you will lie and tell them something to confide in I hope for their sake you do because if I knew that my parents caused others to feel such ways well ******* I bet I'd have went insane knowing I was living in the same house as a perpetrator. *How could you do that, mother!?

Would you still go to the aquarium with me?
I don't want things between us to be so empty.
But I'm afraid they'll stay this way
Tell me I'm dreaming, we'll be okay?
I don't want you to *leave
**Are you understanding me?

Grab my face in your hands,
And kiss me as if the Sun were pulling us in.
Imagine it's really the end,
And hold me close to you.
Now we're trapped inside of a flooding room..
When you see me, for the first time..
(When I see you, for the first time..)
Pull me into your arms and don't let go.
(I'll pull you close to me, and refuse to let you go.)
But just know, it's only because I love you so..

Any and every doubt that ever crossed my mind,
He's caused to disappear; and just in time.
With him I can always speak my mind.
I admire the way that he always shines.
No matter what he's doing or saying,
He tends to perform the perfect crime.
It's titled, Stealing My Heart,
Do you want to know why?

He lights a fire underneath my skin.
The things that he's said and written,
Leaves me in a place where I can't help but grin.
Deep down inside, my heart is slowly drowning.
And the direct cause would be from his eyes- so piercing.

I want him to know that his hands, I want to hold.
I want to run down hills that are covered in snow.
With him I'd travel around this uneasy globe.
Just in search for something; maybe a show..

I would do anything, just to be beside him.
Maybe once he's in my arms, my head won't spin.

Thank you for always being there.
I know that you're not going anywhere.
I appreciate everything that you say to me.
You've helped me learn to think more freely.
And for that I'll never be able to thank you enough.
Maybe this emotion I'm feeling is stronger than love.