I check on you,
despite being blocked
I wonder what you're up to.
In the end I miss you often,
how could I not?
You were around for so long...
but I'm slowly learning
how to live without you.

In my room,
in my bed.
Under blankets,
resting my head.
In your hoodie,
I remember
you were wearing
when we first met.
I'm really tired,
I want you here
in my room,  
half asleep
and holding me
in your sweater
that you gave me.

When you say my name that way,
and I can hear it in your voice...
that your smiling, it makes me smile too.
I love smiling with you you.

She lays there under her blankets...
and tries so hard to sleep.
But each time her phone lights up the room,
she feels how her heart leaps.

It yearns for him; his presence,
just a glimpse of his hand holding hers.
She just wants to hear his laugh again
and feel every word.

Sitting in the car,
I looked out the window
and there you were.
I tell her, "that's him!"
My heart was racing
as I opened the car door.
I hurried over to you,
we hugged
and I felt a million
I love yous
in less than a minute.

Once upon a time,
there was a girl
she hated herself,
and she hated the world

She was so sad, so often.
She never knew what to do,
with all of her emotions.

She hurt herself and was hurt by others
and eventually just hid herself away...

Then one day,
she met a boy.
A tall boy, through a screen
who filled her with joy.

He opened up her heart,
and made her smile
At least for a little while.

Things were good for her,
outside of her dreams.

There were ups and downs
and turns and tosses
she messed up a time or two,
because she was being stupid.

But things got better,
and things became more clear...
He held her close,
and shattered all her fears.

The girl is now content,
and feels happy often
because of this boy,
her pain was forgotten.

*Maybe someday she'll finish this story.

As I look back at old words I wrote, waiting for things to download, I shiver. Remembering things that occurred and how I once felt, I feel bigger. Not so bitter, like I had felt before... because now I'm more aware of who I am. I'm no longer surrounded by ridiculousness. I can't lie, that's a big part of this. The change in my environment has helped a lot. I can breathe here without always having to look behind me, and I can't describe how great of a feeling that is. I can only hope you'll understand it. I wouldn't wish my old life on anyone. Not even the ones who caused me so much pain. It's all in the past now anyways...

You're my star in the middle of a very dark and dreary sky.