My heart is soft
You would never know
From the outside I’m stone
And on the inside I crumble
To think of you,
                  only you

I hate the four letter word
That springs from mouths as quickly and effortlessly as hello
I hate the restlessness it brings
To nights where loneliness fills your sheets wrapping you in its arms
I hate the overwhelming hope that shines blinding us to imperfections
The way it teases your mind making you think everything before was worth it
Because it brought you to this moment
I hate the way it tricks you into believing it will never ever leave you
And as swiftly as it swept you up from under your feet it drops you in some place that appears to be home but comes with none of the feeling
I hate it - passionately
Yet so desperately I want nothing more than this word we call “love”

In all your lovers
There is not one like me
For as many as you take
There will never be

Adieu.

there is something beautiful about a memory
that reaches from the pit of your stomach
latches onto your heart
and pulls it under your lungs
placing you in a moment
that once saturated the marrow of your bones

when you close your eyes you can
feel, see, and be just as it was
with carrots, a park bench, the night sky,
a bottle of spanish wine
and his arms cradling you against
the chilling wind

it takes you so deeply into
the inscription he carelessly carved
across the back of your eyes that
when you open them again and exhale
you find it fogging the midsummer air
releasing the very breaths you took
by his side

I hate Dallas
But the hotels nice
Well, at least the view is
See it?
Beautiful isn’t it.
That was earlier today.
Now I’m here
Just standing here ****
In front of this window
I’m wishing someone to see me
For a good laugh
Or
Maybe they will muster up the courage to come knock on my door
Even with the Do Not Disturb Sign hanging from the ****
It’s something about hotels that gets me thinking this way
Out of sorts and more so in the gutter
To think of all the love made between these walls
Passionate - married, unmarried, one night stands, flings…
the good, the bad, and the really REALLY bad
I imagine more of the third
I’m not this way at home
I lay content in my cotton sheets with the occasional hum of a car passing
But here, in this hotel looking out 26 stories above the city
All I want is you…against me
Until the sun rises
Where we will carry on
Go back to our lives
In silence

It’s not what you think.
I see you.

In the morning.
When I close my eyes.


At night
when I lay there restless

I see you.

I replay you
every smile,
every touch,
every breath
that brought life to my heart
that still beats for you.

You have
cut yourself open
and displayed your
naked soul

I sit in silence
trying to
decipher what is before me

Above the pain of
your organs
flowing out of
your bone and flesh
is the deafening ringing
in your ears
from my still tongue

Looking to me
for a sign of
any recognition

All I show you
is a voiceless distance