I could always
say more with you.

I feel like
pressing myself
into a book
and
giving it to you to read.

So you have turned me into a rock
A quiet still hard cold rock
I’m burning to speak
And tell you how I really feel
That I can’t stomach you
But I know I board the plane in a few hours
And for this I find peace
Enough peace to remain the rock
From you I have gained nothing but tolerance
And the knowledge that you should never travel to meet someone that you met online
At least not without a backup plan
I can’t fake a headache or the flu and ask to be politely excused
I so wish I could - grab my bag apologize sincerely - and run for the door
I would think it would be worth giving you my opinion - just to appease me
But in the same thought an overpowering realization that even you are not worth that energy
You might possibly even thrive on it
Like a roach thrives on raid once the poison has lost its ability to throw the bug on it’s back kicking
So I instead will bite my tongue
And do my best to keep my eye rolling to a minimum…when I’m in your peripheral…

I believe
women
are much more beautiful
than men

Whether you
look from the
outside in
or pull their flesh in
and expose them
inside out

I think
from now on
I will love only women.

He says he
loves me
but I
wish he would
make himself
stop
for there is
no life in me
to
love back.

I’ve bled
every cell
that pumped my
heart
and flowed
through my veins
into feeding
the memory of you.

There’s nothing left
of me
but a carcass
of shriveled
leathery skin
wrapped around
bone.

"you cannot catch a wildflower"
       he says.
             "you are my wildflower."

I am lost inside myself
my personal paradise
my own euphoric insanity
could i be as manic as I sometimes believe
to feel as if my soul lives in the earth beneath my feet
and stretches from the root of every tree to the tips of their leaves
exhaling me into the sky to float with the wind from meadow to meadow
I stand with arms stretched
spinning in circles like a tiny tornado
grazing the tips of each blade of grass with my fingertips
dancing with my pointed toes upon dewy petals
breathing in the heavens of the earth
feeling as if the sun was shining from within me
my world could not exist without this insatiable lust for life
you cannot hold me and shelter me under the dark roof you flourish in
I am a wildflower
I need the meadows, the sky, the sun, the air, the freedom

what is it about you that has me constantly wondering how your world is at any precise or very imprecise moment

you are consistent in that sense

you seem to sprint through my mind
long enough for me to acknowledge it is you, but not long enough for me to figure out what the reason behind it is

or the copious knowledge of your day to day to be able to pinpoint what it is that you could be doing at that moment…

drives me mad.... you, the thought of you, the realization of the thought of you...

"Life is so fragile. Love when there is love. Don’t mistake the moon as the preface to dawn. Sometimes there are only stars…"