just testing the waters on this right now,
circulation is cut off
where has everything gone? slipped out from in front of my eyes
it's a silent scream i'm giving with eyes popping out
i want it so badly and it's right there,
yet i am scared and timid
can't anybody understand this or see?

I'm filled by anger, and much doubt.
This world is a filthy place.

Living on the afterburner of a broken fantasy,
it was better in the old days.

I was out of my room,
but they still could not see me,
even as i stood starving in front of their eyes.

I Am melting. sickness

i am melting, slowly, into a
pink mass, a goo in a small
mountain up against the wall.
sickening, sickness, this comes from within.

my eyes swell, sinking back into my head
filling with the hot waters of relief

**** Me Now.

My mouth slides down
my long face
letting out a sigh that i have been
carrying with me for sometime.
With it leaves a sick feeling
in my gut, a weight
from my stomach.
For now.

Lost, gone, darkness, vanished.
Impaled, dead, sliced. Red.

This is a sickness
this is damaged,
this is in my head, it's all over now.
they play ignorance blissfully drifting thru life.
I'm seeing this mutiny, sickly
thru a different light

Where did you go ?
i seem o be lost with no sense
of what i am to do.
you were there for me, gave all to me
you don't understand what you did
for me.
Thank You.
Thanks you Dog.
you left. while you were leaving i did my best.
I Love You.
Thank You.
Thanks, you Dog.

It's been a strange seven years
thru all of the scuttle
i've made my decisions
by choice of the gavial
laid down the law
to not change a thing
that is how it is, this is how
it will be
we fuss and we fight
i know this isn't right
when safety is found only
in the silence of night

She said, "I have a bad taste in my mouth."
Ha ha ha
Then I offered her mouthwash.

Honestly,
what do you make of me?
is there even anything there?
there are barriers
put in place
between you
and i
i cannot express myself to you
for if i did
i'm afraid
you would find me utterly insane,
deranged,
Pained;
nothing else matters.
hell,
what matters? but nothing.
the ultimate goal,
a final destination.
So cold.

Red gravel, Dark skies
black, pitch black
where art thou?
where is grace?
As the blindness ensues
a harsh wind starts to bellow.
the cold quickly turns violent
whisping into a tremendous tornado
taking down with a taunting rage
Agony, sweet, Agony
thou shalt not leave me

I'm writing lines
in hopes
that
one day someone will see
the unspoken way of things.
I was down on the frown
down, sinking
as things got deeper
i got darker
the more i opened
the looser this vacuum seal go
but not
without consequence.
random flurries in my head
in my head
in my head
everyone is left for dead,
in my head.

I think around the clock,
I need some food in me.