It's been a strange seven years
thru all of the scuttle
i've made my decisions
by choice of the gavial
laid down the law
to not change a thing
that is how it is, this is how
it will be
we fuss and we fight
i know this isn't right
when safety is found only
in the silence of night

She said, "I have a bad taste in my mouth."
Ha ha ha
Then I offered her mouthwash.

Honestly,
what do you make of me?
is there even anything there?
there are barriers
put in place
between you
and i
i cannot express myself to you
for if i did
i'm afraid
you would find me utterly insane,
deranged,
Pained;
nothing else matters.
hell,
what matters? but nothing.
the ultimate goal,
a final destination.
So cold.

I think around the clock,
I need some food in me.

Lost, gone, darkness, vanished.
Impaled, dead, sliced. Red.

This is a sickness
this is damaged,
this is in my head, it's all over now.
they play ignorance blissfully drifting thru life.
I'm seeing this mutiny, sickly
thru a different light

I was out of my room,
but they still could not see me,
even as i stood starving in front of their eyes.

I Am melting. sickness

i am melting, slowly, into a
pink mass, a goo in a small
mountain up against the wall.
sickening, sickness, this comes from within.

my eyes swell, sinking back into my head
filling with the hot waters of relief

**** Me Now.

My mouth slides down
my long face
letting out a sigh that i have been
carrying with me for sometime.
With it leaves a sick feeling
in my gut, a weight
from my stomach.
For now.

just testing the waters on this right now,
circulation is cut off
where has everything gone? slipped out from in front of my eyes
it's a silent scream i'm giving with eyes popping out
i want it so badly and it's right there,
yet i am scared and timid
can't anybody understand this or see?

Red gravel, Dark skies
black, pitch black
where art thou?
where is grace?
As the blindness ensues
a harsh wind starts to bellow.
the cold quickly turns violent
whisping into a tremendous tornado
taking down with a taunting rage
Agony, sweet, Agony
thou shalt not leave me

Where did you go ?
i seem o be lost with no sense
of what i am to do.
you were there for me, gave all to me
you don't understand what you did
for me.
Thank You.
Thanks you Dog.
you left. while you were leaving i did my best.
I Love You.
Thank You.
Thanks, you Dog.

I'm filled by anger, and much doubt.
This world is a filthy place.

Living on the afterburner of a broken fantasy,
it was better in the old days.

I'm writing lines
in hopes
that
one day someone will see
the unspoken way of things.
I was down on the frown
down, sinking
as things got deeper
i got darker
the more i opened
the looser this vacuum seal go
but not
without consequence.
random flurries in my head
in my head
in my head
everyone is left for dead,
in my head.