I don't identify as,
religious.
I don't identify as,
going to church everyday.
I don't tell people I've read the bible,
because I haven't.
I don't tell people,
I believe.
Because I'm not religious,
and I don't go to church at all,
I don't think I own a bible,
and I didn't believe at a point in time.
But,
I believe there is a figure in the sky,
who watches over us.
I don't have evidence,
and I don't have bullet proof faith.
But I have faith,
and a little bit of patience,
and he hasn't let me down yet.

I
'
m

f
a
d
i
n
g



a

w

a

y

.
A door opens with creaking sounds,
inwards to a dark and cool room,
untouched for many hundreds of years,
barely a flicker lights the gloom.

Peeling decoration whispers
at a past richly bottled in wealth,
now nearly empty except for
a curious book upon a shelf.

Bound and covered in lizard skin,
with words that swim on the pages,
shades and shadows cross together,
spells cast by the ancient sages.

A long bony index finger
tracing symbols down an old spine,
pre-history condensed in leafs,
that unfold through space and time...



© Pagan Paul (09/11/19)

I'm sorry for doing this to you
On top of all else I've done
But I had to do this

I had to stop hurting
And I had to find peace
And this was the only way to do that

I'm sorry I didn't say goodbye
I've never really known how to
And they always hurt too much
But I hope my leaving doesn't hurt you too badly

In my final moments, I was beyond weak
My mind... it was done
My body needed to rest
And my soul... it was ready to be free once more

Please don't remember me the way I was yesterday
But instead
The way I was last year
Smiling, laughing, and generally happy
Not crying, shaking, and screaming

And please...
Don't leave the ones you love, simply because I left you
Stay with them
Make them feel loved
And make them feel cared for

And to you, my sister...
If you're reading this, I'm especially sorry to you
I wish I could've said goodbye to you
But I never got the chance to
And if I had of gotten the chance
I wouldn't of known how to say "Goodbye"
Just... remember
Remember that I loved you more than anything
Remember that I cared about you
And remember that you were important to me

To all others...
I'm sorry for everything
I'm sorry this road has to end
And I'm sorry I had to meet my end

But in the end...
You'll see me again
All of you will...

I love you

Goodnight

What I really want
What I really really want
Is to die

I keep your flowers there,
in the back corner of my
Dark Heart
They wilted long ago
I water them with saline tears
and
an ever waiting heart
You crept up
from that secret place
Fake Bright
in my black space
~A