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 Jan 30
cassie marie
i never thought i could fall this hard. i never once in a million years ever thought someone could actually love me back. but you my dear, oh you showed me just that. you showed me that i was lovable, i was wanted and i wasn’t worthless. i remember the first time you met my parents. they had a front on, but later that night you were holding me whilst i was hysterically crying because my parents are breaking their teeth on liquor bottles and having their monsters come out and have a fight. you showed me that you weren’t ever going to leave my side. i remember when i thought about all the possibilities of you just playing a trick on me, then you pointed out every single little thing you liked. i remember all of our stupid little arguments, it painfully reminds me of my relationship with my sister. except the one big difference; you didn’t leave me on my worst days. some people don’t believe in love, but if that’s the case, than what exactly did we have? because that was all love. i believe that the human mind can thrive without feeling every emotion, including love. i think when we don’t feel love, we shut down. i remember the first time we met each other’s friends. your friends took me in as a little sister the second they met me. and my friends made sure you knew what would happen if you broke my heart. i remember our biggest fight. an old friend was getting a little touchy, and you beat the **** out of him. i remember i wouldn’t talk to you for a few days because i needed to calm down about it. but you didn’t get mad at me, in fact you still texted me good morning and good night every single day. we had our ups and our downs. but i guess some girl who you had met and been friends with for 1 month can make you feel happier than someone you’ve been with for 2 years. i remember you looking me dead in the eye and telling me there was someone else. i don’t think i ever could hate you for putting me through this pain. all i have for you is love, and i may have accepted that we are done, but my heart still aches for you to kiss me at 12 am every single day because you wanted to be the first thing that made me smile every day. i remember the aftermath of our breakup, your friends still treat me like their little sister you know? they still defend me in every way and make sure i’m not doing anything stupid. i ask them about you every once in a while. but i just want you to know; we were in love, but i hope you’re happier with her.
hey so yea it’s been a while but i’m in a new relationship ! so ig that’s cool. i made a new instagram account for all of my poems and excerpts that i write. it’s @cassiemariepoems , check it out if you want.
 Jan 30
cassie marie
he once told me
"you're eyes are gorgeous"
but i didn't believe you
i thought
"how could he love my brown eyes"
how could he love something so ****

he told me
they were captivating
he could get lost in them
he could stare at them all day and never get tired of them
he pointed out all the colors they were in the sunlight
he pointed out how my eyes weren't just brown
they were green
and blue
and yellow
and brown.
he told me that he could lose himself in my eyes

i guess he lost himself so bad
that he left me
maybe i left him
to this day
i've learned to love my eyes.
my ex actually told me this, kinda made me cry writing this but oh well
 Jan 30
cassie marie
there once was a girl
she wasn't as she seemed
she was kind, sweet, superbly smart and had a massive sweet tooth

There was a boy
he was exactly as he seemed
polar opposite of the girl
rude, failing grades, hated sweets in all forms

but they came together one day
it was like the stars aligned for them
it was a sudden connection
he was sweet to her
and she was amazing to him

he wanted to know everything about her
he wanted to feel the form of her body
he wanted to be in her mind
he wanted to know how a heart,
so broken and crushed
could still love

she wanted to know how someone
as amazing, sweet, and beautiful as he,
could love a broken girl like her.
she wasn't like other girls
she learned from the pain
she learned to never let it bug you
she has only told her story once
about all the madness behind the beauty

they finally got together
oh what a pair they were

the human body has 2 ears
2 eyes
and 2 lips
and 1 heart
she believed it was because the heart was independent
he believed it was because we were meant to find the other half

she broke him
the firey eyes he once had
were now burned out.
she said it was because she lost feelings
but you see the thing is
if you truly love someone,
how do you just stop loving them?

how do you wake up one day and decide you are no longer in love?
how do you leave the person who has been there for you
he never understood why she left him
he thought she was a flame
a flame to join his flaming heart

but what he didn't know
was that she was the bucket of water
to put out his burning heart.
also plot twist lol
 Jan 30
cassie marie
truth is i didn't want to accept it
you told me i was the love of your life
you planned a future with me
you told me you were never going to leave me
but i guess it got to be too much
my constant worrisome behavior
my constant need to help you and protect you
my hovering when you're upset
my parent-like actions
my stubbornness
the alluring fact that i loved you so ******* much
but you broke my heart
you knew you could hurt me
you knew you could tear my world apart piece by piece
but somehow that didn't stop you
i don't hate you,
as a matter of fact i don't think i could ever hate you
but i refuse to allow myself to love you like i once did
reality is,
we wasted 2 years on a love that wasn't meant to be
and that's ok
we're both one heartbreak closer to our soulmates now
wow i don't know where half of this comes from sometimes honestly
 Jan 30
cassie marie
what’s worse?
loosing your love to death
loosing you love to loss of love?

i like to believe it is death
the thought of knowing they won’t be giving their all to someone else
knowing that you are truly the last person that made them happy

loosing someone to loss of love could possibly be the worst thing a heart could go through
knowing someone else will get all the love you once had and quite possibly more

i know death is inevitable
death doesn’t stop because you aren’t ready
but it doesn’t settle with me
yet, i’d rather my love be dead rather than dead to me
if i had to lose you at all.
this makes no SENSE AT ALL IM SO ******* SORRY
 Jan 30
cassie marie
you were everything i thought i needed
you were the one person who truly made me happy
but you laughed at me
and ******* took my stability
you abused your power over me
you knew i was in love with you
you knew i needed you.
i’m here for all of y’all, you know this.
 Jan 30
cassie marie
this isn't how it was supposed to end
i wanted you
i wanted everything you had to offer
i wanted your lust and affection
i wanted your love and touch
i wanted it all
but you broke my ******* heart
and i'm the one saying i'm ******* sorry
that shouldn't be me in that place
that shouldn't be me in that place ever
i shouldn't ******* tell you i'm sorry
you ******* me over
for 9 ******* months
i believed it was you
we were on fire
we were a blazing storm
we made everyone else jealous
we had it all
why did you ******* leave me
i didn't ******* deserve it.
oops oops
 Jan 30
cassie marie
the feeling consumes you
brings you into a place
its a place you can't escape easily
the monsters of your childhood
the monsters of your breathing,
talking demons
they consume your mind with bad thoughts
they don't let you off free
you pay a price
and that price
is depression.
oh boy
 Jan 30
cassie marie
I'm sorry I fell in love with you
I didn't ask to
I didn't ask to enjoy our random conversations at two in the morning
I didn't want to love hearing your voice at school
I want the scent of your cologne fill my nose while I sleep
I didn't want your hand to feel like a glove when it met mine
I didn't ask for this
I didn't ask to be hurt by you
I'm sorry I fell in love with you.
So I am a high school freshman and its mid terms which means I'm going to be studying for finals soon and thats means I won't be able to write as much which ***** but on the weekends ill probably write a lot and save drafts so have a good day y'all
 Jan 30
cassie marie
I want him
I also wanna get over him
Neither is happening and I need to accept that
I  wanna accept the fact that you've moved on
But I haven't and for some reason I think you might come back
I know you won't
Im gonna keep wishing and wishing
I don't even know
 Jan 30
cassie marie
"If he hurt you, why are you still thinking about him?"
Because I put time and effort into that boy
I wanted to make him a husband
I didn't know he was gonna hurt me
I didn't know how it was gonna end
How I was gonna get a rude awakening
I didn't know
And can you really blame me for that?
I think about it
How do you fall out of love?
I don't know what to title this but here you go for your deep poetry needs
 Jan 30
cassie marie
The way he laughs
The way he remains calm in tough situations
The way he holds me when I'm scared
The way he looks at me like I'm the only one in the room
The way he talks to me like he never wants to leave
This was a small reality.
A reality I had for a year
Then it happened
Whatever we had was gone
Like the autumn leaves
It disappeared
Our love was over
The fire we started burned out
It was gone
We didn't have the spark like the sparklers on the fourth of July
We didn't have it anymore
It was gone
It was all I could think about
This is abt a long term relationship ending oops
 Jan 30
cassie marie
I sit in silence.
As the rain drizzles down my windows
I graze upon the last memories of happiness
Remembering how happy I used to be with him
I remember all the random things we would say to each other
How he would come during times like these and hold me
How he would coo that everything was alright
Now my heart is gone
He took it with him to his new girl
His new girl reminds me of him
Happy, bubbly and fun to be around
Her laughter spreads like wild fire
She has a big and gorgeous smile on that pretty little face
She's so down to earth
She's unlike me
And I guess its for the best
I may not want this
But I want you happy
But I don't make you happy
I don't even know where that came from
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