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May 2019 · 627
leftovers
Beck May 2019
under a table,

behind the door

where nothing is cleaned

not even the floor.

there, lies a body,

collected with dust

piled under splinters, cobwebs, and rust.


its breathing, though ceased,

by a soul, never noticed

the family moves on

never wishing to know it.

roaches and rats snigger with glee,

as the body decays,

first a hand, then a knee.


but, a moment's not passed,

when a slam of the door

finds that He has returned,

to take one thing more.

He looks and he scowls,

finding, perhaps, one thing of use...

a leg of the thing

he once had abused,


"Good for a table,

this leg might be!

but its so sickly, and thin,

what use is it to me?"

he examined the leg,

for a minute or less

and finally said,

with no shortage of breath


"what good were you girl? you did nothing for me.

not this house, not this wallet...

not this family!

for you sat and you sulked,

and you fell on the floor,

and it was quite hard to hide

that you looked such a sore.

and you'd cry and you moan,

until finally you stopped,

but even then, you'd not budge

for a sponge or a mop!

what good were you,

to exist in this way?

where you slept in a bed,

for which, i had to pay?

if you left us much sooner,

before we could see

your bruised little leg and dis-located knee,

we might have not stopped you

from growing so vast,

if you had been good,

if you had worked fast!

But, if you had died,

and we knew then

what we do now,

we could have left you

much sooner, you cow!

but since you've survived,

and we've taken your all,

We must do it ourselves,

and bury you whole."


and the girl, as she slumped

on those wooden floorboards,

did not kick or punch,

or demand her own words,


for she knew how He felt,

when he saw such a sight,

her skin and her bones, were,

Oh!

quite a fright...

but she did decide

that she'd mention one thought,

for it left and gone

without once being taught.


And this was who she was

cracks, bones, and skin,

with wishes and hopes,

in loss or win.


for the love of all

she, weekly, would pray,

that she might be able

to love one, someday.

she looked up once more,

to the hand holding her knee,

and she spoke such a truth,

which made her instantly free:


"you knew me not here,

nor when i was born,

and certainly not now,

though, my legs, you have torn.


Look at this body,

my blue skin and bones,

and KNOW there's one thing

you never have known!

that this sunken-in skull,

which longed for a dream,

within it, still lives

some incredible things!


Though leaving this world,

though no good for you,

though, you threw me your scraps,

if you threw just a few,

I'll fly and I'll live

past all of your years,

you have not a soul,

you shed not a tear!


O, timeless I'll be,

despite lack of drink

but look at you, sir,

your head does not think!

Yes!

Look at me now,

while withered

I may be,

and know this you bore,

you never knew me!"
*TRIGGER WARNING* (themes of depression, abuse, isolation, generally non-so-happy verbiage)
----
I like to write things that let me express inner emotions...

While a lot of it is pretty grim, I think the ending is sort of empowering because the person in the poem has this sort of message (lesson?) that the Other never "knew" her.

I can't really describe why I find this comforting... I guess because it sort of shows that the very people who do so much wrong to us never really knew us, so there is/was a part that they can never touch, betray, or understand. Meaning, we have won... we have kept a part of ourselves unharmed even if it's a minute part that holds dreams and beliefs and whatever else.. I wonder if anyone can relate.
Nov 2016 · 535
New Life
Beck Nov 2016
A new life lives beyond the wall
not a drop of sun flows by
a new movement which some people call
a newfound way to die
if i shared with you a secret
which will leave your eyes in tears
would you pick for me a flower
with its petals shaped like spears?
And when I call upon your name,
if the sunny sky won't shine
will you let me live beneath the soil
before you ever question why?
And, when we both grow weary,
and, when we both grow small
life has a funny way of showing
just how easily we fall.
While I may die and you may lie
beneath the weeds we sow,
can we ever really wonder why
those flowers still won't grow?
For, bearing soil and simple minds,
have easily no doubts
about the love they hold for one
and about the things one shouts.
I wish I could forget it all
my past, which haunts me so
but in my doubt and in my fall,
my weeds continue to grow.
Just a poem. Check out my site driftingbrain.wordpress.com
I am always looking for contributors & curious minds.
Feb 2015 · 471
you
Beck Feb 2015
you
They say you are most creative when you are heartbroken
distraught
naïve people live content lives
however, boring nonetheless

i just want to cuddle up next to you
in your bed
or mine
hell,
id sleep outside if you wanted

i saw you talking to her,
you saw that i noticed
you took the opportunity
and ran-- straight for the bank of my soul
emptied the account...

is it payback
for my actions?
i said i was over it
and you

i was not
i am not

and now
we go back to being strangers

yet i can't seem to accept it

someone please help me--no
i am not desperate,
i will live on
happy....
Dec 2014 · 871
hello
Beck Dec 2014
why did you come here?
for the joy of poetry
or to wallow in self pity

do you write
with a passion for life
or a desire to finally     pick up that knife

stop
crying
i know its hard
but for once,
tell your demons    no
no.
today you will take a walk outside for the first time,
you will keep your head up
no.
tell your demons goodbye.
and your angels, hello.
Dec 2014 · 485
i
Beck Dec 2014
i
sometimes i begin to write
nothing in mind
i confuse myself
yet am shocked by what i produce

even the creator teaches himself in his own insights

interpret yourself openly, freely
be c o u r a g e o u s
Dec 2014 · 5.9k
savage
Beck Dec 2014
you
       *deserve

                     better

than what you've been accepting.
than all that you have chased.
than every.single.tear
                                       that has fallen out of
place

when you realize that every lie,
was never worth your time
you can sell your watches
                                                         ­                       you have too many, anyways

one day, you will look into the sky
it won't be dark,
you will walk outside
the light you see-- will not be from the moon,
the shadows that surround you-- will not be those of demons
pulling you to down to Hades:
your blanket will not be misery
                              but
you won't simply wake up, alleviated by fate
you will have to fight
wars against yourself-- the worst kind imaginable
         you
are up against the odds of giants
not even a troll-- would attempt to cross the bridges that you must build
                     but you can do it
you must learn to live with a shield in your hand
                                                            ­         and a bow on your back
                          and  eventually
one day,
you will look into the sky
it will be white and pure
you will walk outside
the light you see-- will be that of the sun's glow
the shadows of the tress will dance in your presence
persuading you to climb their swaying branches
lifting you towards the high heavens
flowers will float into your hair
                          yet slowly           someone     will approach
carrying a diamond-laced, gold ring, inside a crafted, red-silk box
in awe, you will notice his glowing amber eyes
                                                            ­                       then his face
you will see, is painted with delicate metallics             alluring metallics
but you won't be swayed, for there is fire in his eyes
slowly you will reach towards the box
                                                             ­      you've spotted the disguise
with the shield you have gathered; bow is in hand
untamed-- you are savage
unfazed by the lures of man
ferocious-- savage
he is not what you desire, rather lust
          but you will walk across the bridge you've built--
                                                                ­                based upon trust
away you will go, from all that harms
as you come to see the light
not a soul will tempt you away
for
       you  
                  are
                              **s­avage
for any savage fighting to be let out
--beck
Dec 2014 · 6.8k
simple, just simple
Beck Dec 2014
this world is fast
yet forever
love is strong
but complex
poetry should be short--
we don't have an eternity to read your thoughts
keep it simple,
just simple
Dec 2014 · 482
sweet lies
Beck Dec 2014
it was so sweet of you
to show up at my door
flowers in your hand
heart open, like a sore

did it take you a long while
to write me that song
to paint me a picture with sweet, unspoken words
to admit that you were wrong

do you expect me fake a smile
and listen to your lies
while your words twist red like sin
intruding the pure, white sky

i'd lie, too, and say its fine
that i really don't care..

but i can't do that you ******* fool
you hurt me all too much
i refuse to be your night time secret
i will not be your crutch

I'm moving on
and on
you know,
i hope you cry tonight

and when you call me on the phone
i'll laugh right in your ear

you ******* fool don't you see?
I'm about to disappear...
Love hurts everyone, this is kind of a twist, though. As the apologizing lover thinks things are okay, that the hurt one will alway come running back, he/she is growing stronger and more independent. Soon the poem shifts from a whining, pleading tone to a harsh, independent-- almost satirical tone. Soon the hurt lover has become indifferent, to the point where he/she tells the other to *watch* him/her disappear.. (a bit ironic)!
Dec 2014 · 665
Consume
Beck Dec 2014
Can I ask you a question?
one of life,
or maybe living?
one that no one has answered
that is unforgiving--
why is poetry so ugly?
and deep?
and complex?

Why can't it be simple?
and happy?
about wildflowers
and running through them?
and stroking the mane of horses
who smile and dance?
when a pretty girl appears
with tulip scented perfume?
and a boy who's madly in love with her green eyes

can he pick her up by her waist and hold her close?
and whisper serendipity under her twisted brown locks
into her small, un-pierced ears?

no. he can't just be happy. he can't.
why?

because humans are a deep, suffering race
we are complex
no day can simply just be "good"
we won't allow it
rather,
we want to hear about the pain of others
death-sufffering-sorrow-sin-***
that is want we want to hear
and by doing so we create a life of our own suffering
death
sorrow
sin
***.

don't ask why we suffer
we want it
and we want others to, as well
but in our destruction
we find comfort
and manage to live another day
anew, fresh with hope for what is to come
we still manage to believe
that
the darkness of the moon will not consume
the sun's bright eyes
This is perhaps one of my favorite writings. It is longer because it attempts to challenge humanity to explain the reasoning behind their suffering-- why instead of attempting to alleviate the pain by writing of happy things, we instead, drown ourself in our sorrows. I hope you enjoy!
Dec 2014 · 895
Covered
Beck Dec 2014
I don’t need to start from the beginning, just where i am at currently
the feelings of undesired draw my attention
the lack of attention catalyzes my cravings
for love, and joy
for happiness, simplicity
why are people afraid of the cold
when i warm myself every day
and every night
all my life
i have been my own blanket

i hate the feeling of being less than
what happens to the equation that is always less than?
i bet negative infinity has a ****** life,
maybe we are the same, though.
Who is the greatest less than in this universe?

What i want is not what wants me, in fact,
who, or what, even wants me enough to get me?
none. no one. not a single soul has requested my company.
I hate it. I'm done with it.

My computer erased all of my poetry, and yet i still write it. I still continue to write.

a teacher once told me that poetry with darkness was ugly. ugly and undesired.
She said that she
could be dark all on her own
yet i still have yet to see someone who shares my darkness.
I am alone,
on my own
I am my own blanket in the
dark.
Dec 2014 · 751
Don't
Beck Dec 2014
I hate trying to write for the public
because I always seem to let myself down
especially when my writing sounds ******
I pride myself on something so many people can do better
than myself
I love people
who don't care
I find joy in the complexities of life
shouldn't life be simple?
shouldn't love be simple?
I hate trying to please people
I hate trying to live someone else's life
so I don't
if no one reads this poem
if no one wants to
than I say
don't.

— The End —