Everyone is quiet,
Papers rustle,
The slow speed fan
Creaks above our heads,
The air conditioning
Is broken,
We start to sweat
From sunlight coming in
Through the tintless windows.
Exhausted,
We sit in silence,
Unwilling to share
Information.
Miserable in this heat,
Someone drops their pen.
As he picks it up
The room sighs,
Almost as if in relief
That he retrieved it,
While no one else moves.
It's far too hot for that.
The table smells like mothballs,
And the people around me
Smell like sweat,
Perfume and cologne.
You can smell the coffee
Oozing from their pores.
Bloodshot eyes,
Aching backs,
And all-consuming stress.
I'm in class.

Your soft brown skin
Touches mine
And sends a shiver
Down my spine,
Inhaling your scent
Triggers me
To flashback into
My memory.

You detach yourself
From the place
You called home and
Fall to the ground with grace.
Oh autumn leaves
And smell of fall
How I've missed you,
I've missed it all.

Going to sleep is the scariest thing.
Not because of nightmares
Or sleep walking or whatever else,
But because of the uncertainty.
The uncertainty that a new day will start,
That your life won't be significantly altered,
Or that your loved ones will be the same.

Normal people don't dread sleep though,
But there's just something about cancer
That makes sleep an uneasy task.
Having a mother with cancer will change your entire life.
From dreading the thing you cherished most,
To not knowing how to live your life.

You become used to being woken up for
Middle of the night treks to the ER.
And to think about becoming used to that
Well, that's enough to make you sick.
But you have no choice but to trudge through,
You have to seem strong and stable,
But going to sleep is the scariest thing.

Painkillers intended to numb the pain
But they numb the heart from beating.

Administered to the ill and injured
Resulting in worse illness or injury.

An injury to the heart beat
To the collapsing lungs,
The vital components of life.

Without the medications,
The symptoms return
Full-fledged.

But with them, the ability
To function normally
Is absent.

The question at hand is
Whether it is better to suffer
From pain or numbness.