there's nothing to see
i'm not free

i'm so hollow i cannot speak
there's this nothing to be

i wonder why everything's  
on a repeat  

who left his brain out ?
this virus will eat

there's nothing to gain from this
so why don't you leave me

alone with my words
i need some sleep

stop poking at my mind
with your drugs and your
shine so fine

makes me want to rhyme
on a piece of paper

i'm so glad we're still strangers
or we'll have nothing to speak

there's so much to be said
but no one knows how to read

to believe
too relieved

two seeds
can make a naked
forest breed

teachers don't teach
preacher won't preach

and it doesn't mean anything
because no one knows everything
there's always something
that cannot really sing

just an ugly face
with no voice

there's beauty
and then there's a choice

a noose to fill
you choose your thrill

everything kills
so why are you still

so afraid to die
tell me why

nothing means everything
when you know how to lie

to your brain
and see the magic
through closed eyes

life is tragic
the more you cry

jump off that balcony
to see if you can fly

if you make it
meet me on pluto

wear a tie

don't worry
if you cannot breathe

and there's no reply

i'd be waiting there
for you

where sky's not blue

holding a sign

that reads
nice try but
you're dead too

I've been looking
for you everywhere
where are you ?
I've been breaking the sun
every night.

what has it done
that you've become so ugly
you don't make me feel pretty
anymore alright.

is this what you've become
is this how you come undone
is this all there is to it ?

I've been searching
for you to wake me up
I'm feeling so afraid
of monsters that you made
that i've forgotten how to love


is this what you've become
is this how you come undone
is this all there is to it ?


I don't know if it's you
I've learned enough stories
that now I'm sure I know
how this universe works

If it's guilty and true
it has to hurt
I'll write you down
in my mind
before your soul erupts

I'll even help you
count the cost
I'm not telling any lies
but you stink of loss

but you will never listen
even though they're all gone

something's wrong
with your brain they say
they're not my words
that i can erase any way

tell me please
do you remember
what you miss the most ?

or is it still hard
and you cannot leave
this mind of yours ?

don't be rude
make up your mind
nobody else is going to
paint it for you
but be sure if you do
we only sell in black

now tell me
where in hell were you ?

the stronger the wind blows
more will I see of the road

that stretches out far
all across my mind
filled with fire and smoke

and now even memories
hurt and choke

now that I see it disappear again
there are so many cracks
running all across my soul

but there's still a reason
from falling apart in pieces

there's hope

fighting silently
violently underneath my skin
giving life to my scars

those howl in madness
so hollow
that they cannot bear
another moment in emptiness

swallowed whole
by the thirsty nothingness
this infinite vastness
that has eclipsed my soul

gripped my heart
worth stones I once stole

breathing dust and dawn
dreaming of something more

quietly, endlessly
no more less
than an ocean without a shore

a home without a door
where we find ourselves
looking through the window

watching the rain
that's what the sky's there for


isn't it ?

running naked in the tunnels
cold and lonely
searching for nothingness
emptiness escaping the soul
to devour the bones whole
beneath the dark
where the skeletons remain
with no names
buried in footprints
crawling on the walls
howling as the wind falls
shaping colours never known
running through the tunnels
all alone
moaning voices linger
into the vast hollow of time
everything dances in dust
light is too cold to shine
broken air finds no mate
there's no one at the gates
only the dark awaits
to be fed by the fear
burning at the end
separating the skin from heart
ripping every inch apart
and making an idol
that will sit behind the eyes
where the loneliness hides
and the unthinkable hides
through the tunnels
where no space is wide enough
to turn back

Hey listen girl , i have to say
You made up your mind and you're not going to stay
So all i have now are words and rhymes i make
Wish i could hold you now and you wont hate
That i would make a run for it and you could wait
Wish i had been on it sooner and i wasn't late
Maybe it was my fault in the end , maybe it was fate
But hey , i know alot of **** that went down those days
The way i broke your heart and tore myself apart
I know second chances are tough , last chances even hard
Everything we fought for so long from the start
Lies before us in pieces , forgotten part by part
I know its not easy to just walk down that path
But we have to be brave for each others sake
Fool the world with a smile we fake
New stories and chapters will soon be made
the old story of you and me will soon fade

              
               i can't say I'm sorry
               and that don't worry
               now that it's all over
               we'll be lonely
               you have to stand tall
               even though it hurts
               'cause now we know ,
               sometimes , love is not enough..
            


So take the strings and I'll let you go
Worlds going upside down and nobody knows
Every moment apart we are , loneliness grows
You can't find it in my smile but in my eyes it shows
We went with promises where no one wanted to go
Everyone told us to back up and take it slow
But the love in us made us blind till the core
And now we seek lies , what was it all worth for
Pain had ****** all the light and we still seek more
A look in your eyes tell me you're thinking about before
And you took all the time in the world before walking out of that door
As i watched in the silence of madness from the window
Memories fall on us like hammer and we take it head-on
Maybe we're still in love and can't move-on
Maybe I'll wait for you , i know i can't go-on
I'm just scared of tomorrow, i don't want to be alone
For the nights to remind and the bottle to forget the regret of that you're gone
I don't want to be strong , for once i want to be wrong
I want you back now and forever in my arms
I want you to come along and finish this last song
    
               i can't say I'm sorry
               and that don't worry
               now that it's all over
               we'll feel empty
               but we have to stand tall
               even though it hurts
               'cause now we know ,
               sometimes , love is enough..

i loved her and sometimes she loved me too
and all i ever was, too scared to lose her to another.

i miss her and i know sometimes she'll miss me too,
but not the way i have and certainly not the way i do.

only if there was a way to love someone
even more perhaps we'd made it through


and so i loved her and sometimes our love felt so true,
but you never know why when sometimes the feelings just die

and why the truly bless'd are so few.


now when i hate her at times i blame myself for having loved her true
but she was never mine and all we ever had is now lost to the time,

and i can't tame the bleeding blues.


i loved her and
sometimes she loved me too


and i try to find meaning in words
of the great Pablo,
but there's no healing only this
mutual satisfaction of knowing,

that he felt the same way as i  do.

even though we're not the same
nobody can tell anybody else's pain
though it's just one hell
and we'll never find each other again

at the very end
the only man in the mirror
is lonely you

but i loved her
and i know sometimes she loved me too.

the calm won't quell the storms
deep inside where darkness spreads

and the arms won't tell the time
to the old man dying inside my head

love thy neighbor yells the stone
two wrongs won't make a night

love thy neighbor and make a home
love thy neighbor and **** his wife

love thy color and take her home
where you can spend her right


and the calm won't quell the storms
painted on the walls hanging tight

and the arms won't tell the time
levitating in melancholy from a hight

mustangs and rodeos and clowns
****** and unicorns and knights

dead bodies wearing golden crowns
mystic fetuses and the lonely scribe

love thy evil and paint the town
hold your breath and hold her tight

for in the void one hears no sound
before the voice turns off the lights


perceptual obselesence and planned reasoning, conceptual presence and a relaxed evening with a spectacular sight






metal against cold skin
but the thought is breeding
caught in box and lost
with channels repeating

angels falling from the sky
and the devil is eating my brain

love thy evil and love thy dye
for the heart is beating for the pain



love thy evil.

Ingenious, that clever man is heinous, completely outrageously mental genius.

but again what's in the name if it's just a game and the dream is the genie in us

so rub yourself and pardon me, but learn to love yourself, stop guarding me.

the you in me is swallowing me,
the me in you is always following me, i
don't get how i can forget you're which part of me, *****.

i don't regret but if i could, i know, i would cut you out of me,
go ahead, give a head, see if i have a **** to give instead, for i'm just as dead but let them ghosts shout at me.

end the lie of me, i've had enough to see, and if i cannot be free i cannot be,
there's no end to me. you don't know anything about me.

because it's not about me.

it never was, it was me, i was lost, counting all my flaws, writing down in ink all their laws.

everything that they taught had some thing that was not alright,
but i could not stop because i did not have it in me to fight.

maybe i was a coward but that's how it works when you're used to the night.

the sun is too bright, you're confused by the light and the world, there are no words left to describe your hurt.

and you need somebody to hold you tight but it's just cold and you're old with no one by your side. **** that girl, right ?

the one who did not leave you alive.

left you down to drown into the sound of your screams that you dream every time your mind means to lean on what had been
but is not, because everything else has died. but you,

and you're still being nice. *******. all you care about is you, what about me ?

can't you see ?

i'm pretty, depressed, petty and obsessed with my thoughts suppressed caught in stress and it's hard to digest that i must ingest the mess of my nothingness,

my mind cannot rest, there's a world war going off inside of me, outside i'm lost on me, there's a god but maybe he's not aware of me, can somebody please take care for me ?

**** that, i don't need you here for me, i'm blessed and sold in my serenity, and i feel i must inject my-self with hell, if i want to get rid of me,
just for a moment riddle me, don't tell if can spell what's in-side of me, i'm so usually out-side of me, so foolishly wise of me, to have a doubt when it's not nice of me to trust you to trust me.

there's so much i do not speak, so much inside of me that cannot dream,
i do not sing well, but there's so much to scream, and nothing to tell to anybody.

well, that's not true for everybody, maybe i'm afraid, what my mama will say,
what papa will say, when i'll be nobody on my way, sitting in hell, meeting everybody.

but again what's in the name if it's just a game and the dream is the genie in us

Ingenious, that clever man is heinous, completely outrageously mental genius.

He sat with a morbid expression,
Staring past the winter hour
With a blank reflection in his eyes,
thunderstorm raging in his heart.

A faceless crowd pelts them stones,
Mere words decay this noble soul
Vengeance buried in a deep pit,
Beneath an isolation he wore.

Thoughts escalating back and forth,
What was the effect for this cause ?

Only an object for their amusement,
Time and again he felt so lost.

Meld into his young broken-heart,
Were the scars that made him old
And a Nightmare brewing fire,
He'd burn them for all they stole.


Led by the years of his degradation,
He now thirsts for bone and flesh.

The little sickly one they all knew,
Is now made into a monster instead.

don't kid your heart, no
don't you **** your heart beat lover

when you look at me, oh
i run to the sky looking for cover

i saw it in your eyes that once
for months that feeling of ******
i'd eat all your lies for lunch
but now i'm filled with your thunder



and until it is over, it's not over
that's not so hard to grasp
flickering thoughts keep me numb
and i don't know what i become
when i become like that


an ocean running in my veins
all the animals look so sad
gave them all the colours but you
i'm falling in love with my black

even though we'll fall in love again
the same but never have it back

and don't you ever leave my brain
i'll never stop wanting to be mad

you suffer,
and so, you learn-
talk about stars and lovers,
through scars, and
how they don't burn anymore

dreaming eyes,
dream about the dreadful lies;

the man in the sky,
isn't here sitting besides you-

the woman you pry;
maybe she's slick and sly,
it makes you sick,
and you wonder why ?

maybe it isn't about
love anymore.


the world has summer,
and it had your winter-

autumn withers'
spring too;

and the man in the sky,
he isn't sitting there anymore

the child you could see
in the mirror, died;

he's no more, maybe-
only as much as you are today;

and the bird you
could've freed;

you placed silence by
its side, and a song
on it's beak, so bleak-

bleached by the solemn
good-bye, and a seed,

praying, it becomes a tree,
and not a storm.

it's cold and lonely as I look outside at the rain falling down from the sky; darker than the eyes reflecting at the middle of the cracked window.

it's so lonely, I am so lonely, the voices keep repeating inside my head, over and over again, as if a forgotten jingle has taken a life of its own.

I don't feel lonely now, I feel afraid; when will the voices stop calling my name ?

when will I be just nothing ?

silence speaks louder than any broken heart screaming; for whatever it's worth, I've always found chaos to be very comforting. it soothes my scars and gives my mind something to think about, something other than this cold lonely hour I cannot tick off the clock.

I wonder where people are right now, so many people doing so many different things in so many different places around the world, it's breath taking and so mundane at the same time, to think about how fragile my own existence is, and how much I crave what doesn't exists at all.

how do you explain what you feel when you feel everything and nothing ?

how do you survive in a perfectly boring equilibrium whilst being ripped apart by the extremes waging war inside of you ?

how do you explain to them how much you want to talk about absolutely nothing ?


the light is flickering inside the room and it's making me drowsy, I don't know if I'm on anything or not right now, for lately it has been so hard for me to tell reality from hallucination, wisdom from fiction, and monsters from me.

I feel as if I'm always floating just inches away from drowning, but miles away from dying, thinking about life and death, and all the felonies they bring with themselves.

maybe life, and death are just people, people like me and maybe people like you, maybe there's a man in the sky and a woman out there to fall in love with me, a love that's pure, to make a religion that's holy and divine, and as magical as any fairytale there ever was.

the clock is finally ticking, and I can feel it moving in the wrong direction, I want to speak and tell it how wrong it is, I want to scream and let it know that I know better but I am paralysed, from eyes and up, and I don't know if I can move my arms or wipe away the tears, I'm too afraid to even try.

maybe the man on the other side of the window can help me, he looks familiar but I've forgotten his name, there's somebody in his eyes, and I think I remember that face too, but he looks much older than what I think he used to be, or maybe I'm just younger.


I don't know why there's a crack just around his lips, what caused it, and the story, the history and poetry behind it; maybe it's there to make him look like an old man with a crooked smile, or perhaps, it just is, without a reason.

reasons scare me, everybody has a reason, or so they think, or so they pretend.

monsters, and ****** and gods and men, strangers, lovers, enemies and friends.

I don't have a reason tonight, or that's what I think.

the clock has stopped ticking, the rain has stopped falling, maybe the sky will be cleared, or not; it never mattered to me anyhow.

I feel as if there's a moment just around the corner, I'm going to pass by and make my home inside of, maybe because I've shed enough hurt, or maybe there's not enough to keep me going, but perhaps it's because every once in a while the glass is half full, rather than being broken and sharp.






it's a tuesday, and it's 3 am, and I don't know if there's going to be any sun tomorrow.

the only thing I'm sure of, is that, I'm not the man on the other side of anything, I'm on this side, here, and now;

and that's all there is to it.

:zone zero: :alone:


what am i doing back on the phone, back on the drone, i admit i am alone, like ozone
in the air and i don't care if you're aware i'm not in the zone,
sometimes i wish i could ****** my own clone,
i hate everybody and everything he owns,
when i'll be gone there'll be no one left behind to mourn,
i'll be just lost in death as i was alive, in my time i roamed,
all across my mind and galaxies as far as i could to atone,
for my insecurities and responsibilities, they don't gel well in a broken home,
suspectible to them sticks and stones,
don't be a **** if you've never had your mind-known,
there's a circus fit, the circuits lit, let the circle sit in the middle of the riddle that has your mind-blown,
you won't understand a single thing, if you don't linger in ink,
long enough for the seeds to be sown,
i have a shot attention span, so many thoughts hunt and spam,
everybody just running to please the known man on the throne
the screen is glittering with ****, enough to make me sick,
there are so many infected by it, soon i'll be one of this,
i can feel the delusions have grown, the more illusions are born
at every opportunity thrown out of the window to rot and be ******
and as i look out that window world still feels hot but too out grown,
i'm happy on my own in my zone. zero. hollow.


:one: :two many:

i hate you today i'll hate you tomorrow
i hated your love i'll hate your sorrow
there's not enough air left to swallow
i suppose i'll be dead alone and hollow

surely in my head where thoughts follow the reason to dread anything that's not impervious to change,
i mean, me and myself are pretty strange, petty and ugly out ranged,
not in frequency like the rest of them, not trained,
not tamed, there's something wrong in my brain,
so come along and become a song as you find a voice to sing and shame,
the person who died because you said it's alright if you see the light at the end of tunnel where i found myself staring at a mirror again,
i'm back where it all begin, in the reflection looking for a name,
but there's so much hate that i cannot wait to hate you more as i waste myself in haste to make myself the monster i became,
i won't blame your tastes but, you're just a lame luck, a shame bud,
and i gave you all you could take thus you took everything but the pain such,
left me alone and cold on my own with blame enough,
that all the love got flooded in flames and now i'm stuck,
with all this hate that's deep down and shut,
i feel like a clown and a ****, so tough, ready to combust,
i'll be awake from night till dusk, reminded that i must hate you till i bleed to dust.

:three: : i wasn't humble:

and i can find myself often in a situation where the words fumble,
and i tumble down under into another void, i have no voice,
so many times it would have been wise to surrender,
but i was open up wide and i chose to ride the thunder,
and now here i wonder, if all my principles were insane ?
if a good man is really that huge opportunity of nothing to gain,
is it okay to be strange ?, is it not okay to be changed ?
when everything is evolving around you how right is to remain the same ?
and i still wander, in the lane, where the fast one's run and rise
is it easier to become again who you became and other-wise,
there's nobody out there to welcome you to the other-side,
all side's are the same, if you can see the clues in blue light,
it never mattered if you cannot see the atoms in violence,
there's only silence where you fight-
sitting on your made up throne, wearing a crown of your broken bones,
sipping the wine aged by your tears, you made a kingdom yet nobody's here,
you don't even have the luxury of a broken home, and it's clear,
there's no time-travel and you have wasted so many of your years,
in need of a few eyes and ears, there's not much on me i fear,
i'm even worse than i am, when i'm near a mirror that's dear,
watching the reflections sing to me  before as i,

:four: :paradise:

paradise in a pair of dice, repair ice, build me frozen lies-
cold and soothing, a puff of smoke and the time flies,
nothing to check or choke, how the mind-flies, into unknown, where the blind man tries,
to see the world, to find and understand the words in his sight,
don't let go, we're plunging back to earth and i'll lose you if you don't hold my hand tight,
we'll never reach the sky, falling back to where the dreams die,
i don't want the light, i want the dark and the cold to hold me all night,
i wasn't told you'd have to earn the fun by setting fire to the paradise,
i'll set fire to the paradise, and we'll both burn in hell for an eternity,
there's no love for me in this city, i'd have to leave you by your side,
take away my vice, travel all the way away never sin and be nice,
so i can learn how to keep you in, read in ink, breathe and win,
every battle that i wasn't prepared when you looked at me and clicked your heels thrice,
it's not paradise, if you need to survive, i've only died like twice,
and a million times more only to come back alive,
it's not para-dise, if it can-not die.

:count to five: :be dead:

there's no brain in my head, every time i take a breath, i go back to bed,
it's hard to fight the loneliness when you're not well,
i go back to myself, strangle myself, angle myself from a high and jump,
my brain made me do so many stupid things that i became a joke,
now i don't suffocate when i choke, get high when i smoke,
turn the wheels when i walk, i talk stupid when i talk,
on purpose i sting and shock, close the doors, burn and lock,
all that i have learned is that i have turned into a clown,
with tears in my eyes and words on my lips,
enough stings to sing them something that brings them the bliss,

but they've to all go back before it's nine,

these *******' lovers are so hard to find, i don't trust them with all my mind,
end these times, with fake *** people and their feeble kind,
the **** gets deeper the more you grind, and it's ain't a hole if it's a *****,
take me for my rudnes but i can't be that blind,
i've seen the signs, i've served my crimes, don't look at me like you can't bear me,
like i'm so ugly that you don't even feel me,
i've been left behind, and now it's just me and sadness,
talking about how i'll never be fine, my heart's telling me it's my time,
that's it for me, world wants to get rid of me, i don't belong,
and every thought in my head feels so negative and wrong,
it's just the narrative, trust me it's many more times more strong,
it's so cold where i sit that i'm sure of it, i'm sure i'll freeze everything that warms,
so i never find myself not numb, i'm not that dumb, but i hope i never find myself  in your arms,
i hope you forget me, delete me, count to five and i'll be gone,
some people never get to build a home, for they're the storm,
everything comes and goes, they've come and gone, earned and known,
made whole and be torn, into a million pieces to be born again,
over and over again, until the wheels stop rollin',
the voices stop callin',
there's nobody waiting,
so start walking back to where you are,
the night is full of stars,
and the wheels are still rollin'
stop controllin' and you'll reach where you are,
the light is full of scars,
so switch off the lights, and the tears will stop falling,
there's nobody else strolling in the lanes where you find yourself today,
i won't be loved by nobody, until i dive into a grave some-day,
wearing black, everybody would come around to give respect that would have nothing to say,
nobody cares for you like you do for the man in the mirror night and day,
but the man in the mirror has someone else in his eyes all day,
so blind, enchanted by the shine, of an artificial sun,
that'll burn everyone if the reflection stays.


i've come and gone in so many ways, that now i'm just tired-
that it's the time i count to five, and burn my-self in the fire.

do you not fear me as i fear you
afraid of the silence
we have for each other
now that you are, my soul's true
broken in two
for love that has no mother
only a lonely corner
where knives draw the scars
someday we'll find it
in arms of another
to remind ourselves
of who we are
as we look from afar
then them tears will tell a tale
when the coffin is ripe
enough to be kissed by the nails
as i stare back through the steel rails
there, we are again,
in pain for each other
always to do our part
i fear you just as you fear me
for we walk with no heart
afraid, always afraid.

Sometimes I sit
by the balcony

with cigarettes
and cheap whiskey,

thinking about all
the things I couldn’t
be.

That’s all I can afford
on a budget for two.

Silver clouds drift
across autumn skies,

yellow lights
line the streets,

and my bitter soul
reminisces about
sweet nothings.

.

what paints the house
in swirl of the night

what lurks in the shadows
the unknown?

a fleeting glimpse
of reality

or just a distant glare
in nothingness

held together by the
summers greed

falling asleep in arms
of tomorrow

resting in old photographs
collecting dust

in wilderness that comes
with dying dusk

hunted by the ends
we seek  

barely ever breathing



@writeweird

sound of wilderness
has come to pass

machines of men
have come to age  

children no longer
go outside

it is not safe to
breathe

the traffic is
too much

and streets
are all crowded

old buses are filled
with people who do
not have time to live

there are no
stars in the sky

the sun is masked
by the tall buildings

water is no
longer free

fire is now
expensive

the night is
never dark

pierced by the
screams of a thousand
lights

without hope
or the warm sun

tired and
weary

people watch the
tall buildings

stare them
down

watch the
neon signs
street lights

cars, trees
and music

pass them
by

one by
one

they are
forgotten

placed inside
decaying

old crowded
buses

one by
one

they become
so many

a town
a city
a slum

that speaks of
nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

and the silence
becomes so heavy

crushing dreams
of every new born

until the silence
begets a scream

begets a machine
with a hammer

that knocks
on their feeble
doors

flatten their
denude walls

for opulent men living in
the silver clouds

in tall buildings with
neon signs

men who
own

hope

the sun
the buildings
the mountains
expensive cars
diamond rings
salaries
army

old crowded
buses

traffic and
winter smog

birds chirping
by the windows

voices talking
in the room

people tired
and bothered

hunch over in
their despair

coiled up in
corners

waiting for
the batteries
to run out

suffering in
silence

telling their
fractured stories

that speak of
nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

until the silence
becomes so heavy

that speaks of
nothing

not a word
only silence  

until the silence
begets a scream

begets a machine
with a hammer

that knocks on
feeble doors

flatten the
rustic walls

to mine the rubble
and mint more sky for
opulent men living in
the silver clouds

men who
own

hope

the sun
the river
the moon
the mountain
summer
spring

golden sunsets
expensive cars
exquisite laughter

each worth more
than a lifetime

of impoverished
daughters and their
sons

angry fathers and
women they beat

mothers and
****** and
beggars and

millions upon
millions

without hope
or the bright sun

silent as
a scream

silent as
a whisper

silent as
violence

and it speaks
of nothing

not a word

only silence and
more silence

passed down
impoverished
malnutritioned

millions upon
millions

such is the
world

without hope
or the bright sun

each laugh as expensive
as an entire lifetime

suffering in
silence.

mixed in water
thoughts
dilute
caught
in the middle
where it subdues
a fickle mind
bleeding
blues
keeping riddles
in a trance
confused
escaping chaos
to another void
bitter
truth
makes no noise
only silence
as tides
turn
burn

I saw her
in pieces—

red, blue, and
green,

sharp and
timid,

confused and
swollen,

her red eyes
begging for
something—

anything,
anyone,

just the
one.

Simple things,
simpler times.

Such is the
world—

unfair and
rotten,

too much,
too little—

everything,
nothing.

Circling the
autumn,

winter in her
bones,

the summer in
her smile,

the spring in
her step.

I have seen
the ocean in
her eyes,

the naked sky
in her breath,

the strength in
her arms

to carry the
heaviest of scars—

to be someone
for something,

to be something
for someone.

The little world
inside her head

wanting to be
free—

but she knows
not

She is of that
world—

the last of
her kind,

the pieces that
won't fit—

unfinished,

untamed,

more than the sum
of her scars—

wild and unbroken,

her colors
her own—

perfect.

a murderous low
watching a ****** of crows
in a dangerous glow
pouring from my mind

thoughts left in kind
walked the centuries blind
carrying memories to remind

there's no place else to go
home never grows
the kids never knows
till the end of time

there's a sky
on fire, for him to breathe
sun is only bone and desire  
with no tongue to speak

there's a hollow
with a heart to keep
if you follow
you'll find the words to read

in that sleep,

here i am
in a murderous low
dreaming out the window
of a view left behind

another shadow,

as i imagine his soul
breaking the shine
smoke circles in a blow
ready to remind

why the mirror never fades
and i keep staring
at my own face
looking for an empty space
to fill my tears

howling for a breath
a flower inside my head

a rose that is dead
for a fear of thorns
those appear dear

and then,

killing him as he wept
burning me inside
where he's kept
not yet ready to breed
leave my head

stranger things have happened
at the orion belt
as far to me
as you've been ourselves
in ways

as near to me
when the night has slept
with a murderous low
and a crown that melts

sitting idle,
always.

beneath the moon
the world's still dark

ocean's are dead
haunted by the sharks

turned on its head
the knife won't stop
bleeding

filled with summer's debt
winter's not worth breathing

it's only september
and ghosts won't be leaving

children are fed
but mother won't stop
grieving

shut those eyes
while they're still sleeping

thoughts multiply
and scars keep breeding

cut open the alive
while they're still speaking

voices of dread
keep repeating over and
over

**** everyone
be free

stop believing.

I wish I was more than what I turned out to be,
I wish I was who they always wanted me to be
another lie in this sea of corpses hanging on to each other,
without any dreams or sight,
I wish I was as dark as night,
so they could see the flaws in every light,
I wish there was no need to pretend that I am no one yet,
but they know not to forget,
what they once wanted me to be,
I wish I was free in this world locked in chains and scars,
I wish I wasn't a machine and had a heart,
that everything was more beautiful than how they claim,
those empty words that fall down on my conscience like winters rain,
forming icicles that dangle over my head waiting for me to speak,
I wish I was weak,
so I could give in to their desire and leave,
tear a hole in my head and bleed
away
every thought they want to ******
I wish I was young again,
so I could be afraid of the things beneath my bed,
instead of the voices inside my head,
I wish I was dead,
so they could stop counting my every breath,
I am not what I have always pretended to be,
I am too cold and they are too old,
to see,
beyond the rainbow where colours still dance in peace,
I wish I could leave,
I wish I could breathe,
in this hollow they call my home,
I'm so alone,
wandering inside my head all alone,
I wish I could mourn but I won't,
it is I who chose not to wage war on the strangers,
that have made me a prisoner within my own skin,
I wish I wasn't always burning,
for I cannot feel the pain no more.

O' K    AVI  
MY CONFESSIONS
       ( LYRICAL)
       LINK in BIO
  








I wish I was more than what I turned out to be,
I wish I was who they always wanted me to be
another lie in this sea of corpses hanging on to each other,
without any dreams or sight,







I wish I was as dark as night,
so they could see the flaws in every light,
I wish there was no need to pretend that I am no one yet,
but they know not to forget,
what they once wanted me to be,
I wish I was free in this world locked in chains and scars,
I wish I wasn't a machine and had a heart,







that everything was more beautiful than how they claim,
these empty words that fall down on my conscience like winters rain,
forming icicles that dangle over my head waiting for me to speak,
I wish I was weak,
so I could give in to their desire and leave,







tear a hole in my head and bleed 
away 
every thought they want to ******
I wish I was young again,
so, I could be afraid of the things beneath my bed,
instead of the voices inside my head,
I wish I was dead,
so they could stop counting my every breath,








I am not, what I have always pretended to be,
I am too cold, and they are too old,
to see,
beyond the rainbow where colours still dance in peace,
I wish I could leave,
I wish I could breathe,
in this hollow they call my home,
I'm so alone,
wandering inside my head all alone,







I wish I could mourn but I won't,
it is I who chose not to wage war on the strangers,
that have made me a prisoner within my own skin,
I wish I wasn't always burning,
for I cannot feel the pain no more.

summer has come
and left

my sorrows have
come and left

the world is a
simpler place

it does not know
of the passing autumn
in my bones

i can smile and
tell them it's nothing
but the rains

that spring is 'round
the corner

that thoughts and
dreams have come
and left

people have come
and left

the many years have
come and left

but my heart

my heart is a place
for winter