I live in a forest of fallen sunflowers, old and wise, they speak to me of the days gone by

When the sun sets among the wilderness blaze, they tell me night is befalling, and I must make my departure

They tell of decades ago, how they’ve watched as humans lived their lives, most rotten in nature

They spoke of the one that used to tend to them, how gracious and kind, how pure and warm

For the sunflowers spoke with melancholy, for they knew that their former caretaker was well gone

So for a moment they wept their tears of seeds, and sung soft melodies of their former caretaker

They spoke to me and warned of the evils of humanity, how they were too once the victim of the evil

They asked why humans destroyed what’s beautiful around them, why they wish to sabotage what keeps them breathing


But they spoke to me and said I was a rare human, one that had good intention, and a sensitive heart

As night began to fall, I left the forest of sunflowers, carrying their tearful seeds

To spread as I walked away, to maybe rejoice and create life once more

The forest I hope will remain tomorrow, that it stands the test of time

In the grey fog that surrounds the space, ominous sounds buzz and hum, sending the spine in a frenzy

But I see color, bright and ravishing, dripping from the petals of an orchid

You are an orchid in the fog, showing colors of amazement, giving my world so many spectrums of wonderment

The astronaut I wave to you
Pick me up, take me into that void
I sit with my paper and pen
Drawing a map of the stars, deciding where I want to begin
That cosmic heaven, is such a wonder so huge
I wish to explore every thread, disappear into that blackness
So astronaut I wait on my roof, please hurry soon
My nose is cold, my jacket is wearing thin
My heart is beating slowly, and my eyes grow heavy
I do not wish to return, to this world of excess
This material thing
Take me away astronaut, I have my things ready
My bag is light, and my hopes are heavy
But I know that it will be worth
To escape into that void with you
To search every inch, of that great astral plain
To die in wonder, in the deepest black hole
Astronaut I wave to you, my SOS is secured
I am ready for depature, take me to my new home

I sat down in these fields of vanilla orchids, waiting for the sun to set, turning them to a shade of yellow

Among the shadows of their leaves, I saw your face along the congregations

I saw the radiant beauty of your smile in the colors, the exuberant joy in the dancing of the wind

Your presence was among the serenity, a guardian joy grasping my hand, as I reached to touch the clouds with my fingertips

Your canvas was among the docility of these orchids, how gorgeous and wonderful you are truly

A magnificent creature painted among these fields of vanilla, how sweet and illumnating you are in my soul

When I laid my head to the evening earth, you warmth lay as a blanket around me

I held in reaction, knowing you are love in my bones, and joy in my eyes

cigarettes were made for the poets

Alcohol made for the writers

Drugs made for the actors

*** made for the painters

Vices all created

To the self appointed one’s

Of art’s vast wasteland

The history of a nation, bended towards the allure of a black dragonfly, a seeping beast that bubbles and brews along the sun baked earth

What a terrifying creature it is, the black devil that infects and corrupts the congregation around

It’s a flammable god, that has the minds of several masses, wishing to make their wells deeper with Midas Gold and African gems

It will burn a hole through the middle of the Earth, it will set itself on fire and aim to take everything organic around it to ashes

For it is a cycle that has begun long ago, instigated by the sins of fathers, and being conjured evermore by the spirits of the past

It will only aim to become a behemoth, that will crush and pillage those that go against it

Rigid moralities become devoted members when they see the banks of The Black Sea, the hearts of men become minds of virus

It will never cease to stop, for the creature can not die, we can not stop what we created.

The marching cries of dark armies, the lambs breath halted by plumes of smoke and walls of flame

Ascend to the next plane, for this one has been scorched by hatred and malice, creatures of dread and pestilence rise from the ****** mud

In the primordial ooze of the human birth, crescendo’s of bashing hymns ring out in the echoes of gunshot blazes

Fires arise like an ignored diety, seeking its revenge

Standing on borders
Of all that is light
And off that is dark
Do you see man
Jumping across
Bleeding between two worlds
In his hand he holds bread
In his heart holds blackness
One finger to the sun
And one on a trigger
And before you can see the truth
He slips into the confusion
And we are left afraid

I laid your body down by the river bank, you looked at ease as I dipped your hair in the waters

I went to woods around, and found wild flowers to lay on your chest

I placed them softly in your hands, and laid them across the sunset that was your arms

How they would hold me in my oblivion, and see me out of the abyss

You are gone from this world, and the pain is something that is almost unreal

You told me to not worry about the future, but that’s hard to do when you aren’t here

You were always something solid in my life, you were the tree I sat under when I needed a place of safety

Oh how I wish my tears could bring you back, I would cry till I no longer was hydrated, if it meant you would be with me again

I would bleed my arms to the river you lay in, I would throw my flesh to the wolves around, if it meant you would kiss me once more

I have to learn how to be by myself, and it’s the most hollowing thing I’ll have to do
You told me to be strong, and that you would always be with me

You were always the strong one, you were always the sun, you were always the light

Now you lay on the river bank, your hair looking as strands of oasis in the water

Your skin is radiant like an emerald, your beauty was only a factor of how special you were

Now I have to learn how to live again, learn to live alone

I feel sick looking at you, knowing I have to send you away, down the river

You made me promise that I would send you away like this

You always were so amazing like that, you were an angel of nature

You wanted to float down this river, were we used to lay, and watch the moon above

You said you wanted to go away like a flower, floating on the water to somewhere new and exciting

So I’m doing what you wished, even if it means I’ll never see you again

I don’t know where you’ll end up when I send you away, I hope it is somewhere you will be at peace, were you will be at ease

Even now, you have a faint smile, a smile of someone pure

You looked so tranquil as I laid you in the water, the river stream as soft as your hair laid against my arms

When I let you go, I grabbed for you in reaction, I didn’t want to lose you

But I knew this was your time to leave, so I let you become the flower on the water, and watched you float with such grace

I sat on that riverbank, and cried the most bitter and sorrowful tears, because now you were gone

And I was alone

But you said I needed to be strong, not just for me, but for you

You said I would see you again, in an eternity of joy

I don’t know what you meant, but it sounded nice

The faint sounds of the wind, play me a song of sadness

For they know I have lost you, and wish to mourn with me

I love you, and always will

I should have said it more, maybe it would bring you back

Time isn’t moving, it’s just staying still, and my hands are stained with these black tears that I shed

I have to do my best, to stay strong, for I made a promise to you

That I would do my best, to stay strong

To stay strong…

Strong…

But I don’t know if I can, but I can’t break the promise

Because it’s all I have left of you now

The river were I laid you to depart, will always give me great joy, and immense sorrow

For it was the place we went to talk, to share our souls, to commit our youths to the laughter of our joyous innocence

Strong…

This I’ll try my best for you

Because

I love you

Unaware of the blood that runs through the cracks, among the withered corpses that lay beneath them

Denial is a foul drug, it is not mended by intervention, it isn’t removed by honesty

It is expediated by horror, it is exorcised by the blood drenched enlighenment

For honesty doesn’t cure it anymore, denial has evolved beyond the scope of reason

It has grown legs, it speaks as it pleases, it preaches as it pleases

It gains power and leads the ill informed to become its pawns

It is a mighty sick creature, a disgusting ooze that seeps into the minds of the unlucky

Denial is a fungal disease, it spreads its spores to all human life

It is chaos, and seeks to destroy

This is the way of denial

And ****** to those that help denial, for they become the sickness as well

How I saturate in the flames of chaos, and sit calmly with a cup of tea

How I spit out my vicious blood, and watch it spiral to the abyss

For chaos is real, but so am I

You showered down the staircase, in waves of color and crystals

You left petals of pink orchids across the hallway

How coulld I remain in this place, knowing you were here

I’ll never walk down this old eroded street again, they’re to close to what I wish was gone

The past is to much of a burden to the present i’m in, it’s time that I walked from the pavement into the rain

Nights where no sleep occurs, oscillating nightmare drips across my eyes

A dinner consisted of two Jumbo Push Pops and lukewarm orange soda

As these walls begin to make more sense, I grow more terrified

The lamps knitting scarves and gloves for me, to survive these harsh cold slumbers

Growing out of my fingernails bark, each day I measure the progress

Soon the sheets will swallow me, and trim will skin be close to salvation in wolfs pelt

The singing rotted chimeras, of the oozing blood church

Sing their disemboweled hymns, as the somber bell chimes to the dead

Along the pews are dried blood bibles, words of horror and sorrow

Written by men who thought to play God, and reap the values of the meek

As the suicide clocks strike their hands, and the blood soaked ravens take their flight

The blackened sun sets on the streets of acid, and the blissful dread plays as a music box

We ate these midnight hearts, hoping that we could stop the sun from rising

So that we may stay in the night forever, we wanted this evening to be a century, a universe that expands infinitely

But our denial was ever present, just like the moonlight on the rain soaked asphalt

Our night was not infinite, it was just a moment, a moment that would be like any other moment

In a blink we had smiles, the next one we were watching the rain, the next one we saw the sun peering over the pines

I know melancholy isn’t always nice, but it was better than sadness for us

Over head there is bombers, they shake the houses with their roar
There is an end coming soon, one of beautiful madness
The sun is blocked out, and the world becomes dark
And the candlelight, whispers a song, for the coming hellfire

The society does not want you to be yourself, they don’t want you to conform to their standards, they either want you to cease existence, or accept death in any form

The wolves do not wish to speak of peace and tolerance with the sheep, all they desire is their self satisfaction of gluttony and greed, to eat and **** what they deem is right.

You are not a person to the privliged ignorant, you are a blight, a cancer, you are what’s wrong with this country

While they set fire to everything around them, not because of reason, because they can

When the bombs fell, the world put on a different dress
It wasn’t made of silk and cotton, but of charred flesh
The waters turned to rot, the life seemed to disappear
The beds of the young became fire, they didn’t have a chance to fear

When the bombs fell, humanity took a hard swig
For it knew of the damage done, it was already feeling sick
As the screams echoed a hellish cry; safety a fairy tale, comfort a goodbye
The streets cracked with dread and despair, nothing more to be

When the bombs fell, God was merely away
Jesus seemed to be foriegn, the Devil a mere ghost
For this was something beyond evil, it was something more cold
It was the smile of darkness, a black smile across the bodies

When the bombs fell, nothing was organic
It was twisted monstrosity, of inhuman conduction
Gods black tears flowed the sewers, the hymns under the chaos
The angel of death burnt away, as the smoke never cleared

When the bombs fell, it was horror of mind
The comprehension of it all, never was fully aware
These moments came, and would never be again
They were gone, charred to the tune of atomic choirs

When the bombs fell, it was something
Mere words can never say, what it truly was
It was something disgusting, something vile
something of humanities own creation, the sickest feeling of it all

Steeped in the rains, brittle as the bones of devastated leeches

There’s a sounding cry, that echoes a command, with ferocity and somber

With unsure faith in the drowning fields, it grows louder with each beating pulse

I’ve wandered to the lands of shadows and twilights, to search for happiness

It is filled with morbid creatures, and cruel landscapes

It is a treacherous depth, a walk among the gardens of abyss

But to find this happiness, that I’ve heard in legends

I will scale these gothic paths, and challenge these ferocious beasts

For the pain and distress of this land, must be worth the light from within one’s self

That can be obtained, that can radiate this warmth, that I’ve heard in so many stories

I constructed a piano, out of dead leaves and pine needles

Frail it was, pitiful it looked

But I played it without shame, as most as I could

To create sounds, to my desolate landscape

And for a moment

Break away, the chains of the lonely sin

We attack the tender hearted, and pretend we hold their values like our own

The honesty is, we like to pretend we are good people, and wear that mask to judge

We are not a generous, commpasionate society

We are not this glistening humanity

We are a dark primordial sludge, that still values our reptilian hedonistic desires

Over what is right

That is always how it has been

The roses spoke to me, as the rain poured down

They said don’t be sad, for the sun will surely rise

They blanketed me in their petals, and I became as colorful as the sky

The Devil told me as I sat legs crossed, in the dreary wheat fields I spend my time

That the world is a dark place, cruel and malicious in its nature, that God merely is a vacant father to his children

The Devil spoke of his disdain; his contempt for God, how he loathed him so

That he was merely only the gatekeeper, that the evil of humanity did not come from Hell, but came from within

I looked with a dreary gaze and said what of evil, is that how you say it is so for this world?

Maybe God never wanted this to be correct, merely a test, a trial on how things would transpire

Maybe he knew all along how it would go, maybe he knew that this moment would come to fruition

Maybe you are God yourself? Dressed in devils skin to mask the sin you will not admit to

Maybe you are afraid of what you have done, afraid to know the dark honesty of all this

Maybe because you aren’t so powerful, merely human, as human as the rest of the world

In the wake of the dogwoods death
Does the woods around mourn in whispered sobs
For it was the catalyst of the point
To where this empire of green
Could look upon to gain the wisdom of peace
Now that the dog wood lay rotted and scattered
On the ground of dead leaves and fox trails
Does the forest tremble in fear
For the chaos to come

Position this anguish to the course of broken seas, it’ll begin a anew another tribulation of heartbreak

For this energy never dies away, it merely finds another host, another soul to begins its parasitic phase

Take this energy and lay it to rest, deal with the demon and move on from it, for it will never go away unless it is dealt with

This society does not wish to keep you safe, you are inbetween the cracks

You are the slums, you are the ghetto, you are the problem, you are the obstacle

You are the different, you dress against the code, you do not conform to what the male populous tells of you

You are the sick, you are the freak, you are the disease, you are the immoral

Your love is to another of the same gender, you are not right, you are a cancer, you are what is wrong

Do you believe your society wishes to protect you?

You are a different color, yet you are blood and organs just like the rest of humanity, the same as any other mammal

But you are the problem, you are the volatile, this is the certainty of this society

What of the kids?

What of our privleged?

What of the moral fiber?

What of reverse hate?

Countless excuses to mask the hate and ignorance which this society holds for those that don’t follow it

Excuses to cast its fire among the riverbanks, to scorch and burn anything it deems unworthy to it

You are fat, you are human, you live as any other person that walks and breathes

But you are ill, you are sick, you promote a sickness that is damaging to the health of the society

Do not confront the hypocrisy of the society, how it wished to damage the self love of you, it wished to destory your self esteem

You know what you are in your heart, in your soul, in your body, yet you must wear a permanent mask

You must live in fear of violence, of explotation, of the darkness in humanity

You are a monster, you are sickness, you are things that deserve no love

This is what the society tells you, this is what they wish of you, to know that you aren’t human

You don’t fit the normal constraints of love, you express it in ways that scares the society

You are immoral, you are wrong, you are sick

You do not fit to the normal sexualities, you do not fit to what they think you should fit to

You are a disease, you are sin, you are hedonistic mistakes

You, you are different, you are nothing like the model that the society wishes you to be

They are afraid of change, they know that with change, their reign will slowly fall from them

Do not believe that they wish to help you, this is only a crocodile smile

This is only the wolves dressed as sheep

They will try to destroy you at any point, this is their goal, for you exist, and that is a problem

You are a threat to the old ways, you are a threat to the old ignorance

For you will fight your whole life to get your respect, it is a dark truth, it is a sad truth, but it is truth

But you are a fighter, you always have been

Do not listen to their words, it is merely a way to break your bones

You are the moon, you cannot be broken, you control the tides

You are the sun, you are bright, you are radiant

You are the rivers that span across this earth, you are the life to many things around you

You are the flowers, you are the fields, you are the birds, you are the creation

You will fight your whole life

Fight for what is your respect

But you will win

You will

Win

How much longer can this last?      Days of pleasure and cheap instant noodles


No hope in the progress of the mind
Only the self satisfaction of mental hubris and the pedantic hedonism that

reigns supreme
                                                   Can this last any longer?
I don’t see light in this life
As I sit in the home of my mother and father, wondering what
could have been

Maybe there isn’t peace,    

              and life is the illusion of the fantasy we create
How could this go on any longer?


Am I still seen as human?                Or just the pawns of the same hedonistic indulgences

The song of the dead, is a most hollow tune

That fixes to the ears, of those coming soon

To the 6 foot kingdom, that lays beneath

The dagger is out, from the marble sheath

Time is cold, it is passive
It leaves scars on the glass
And erosion on the nail

I hope I find that tree

Supposedly made of life and prosperity

Weeping limbs of xanax hazy tears

Washing down in the sutures of my skull

Staring into that foggy curtain
That drapes across the forest window
Hiding all the creatures in cloaks
Blurring all the paths with annoyance
So you must walk as a stranger
In a land made of twilight shadows
With you eyes focused to the ground
Your hands gripping at themselves
Waiting for the surprise to strike
And cut your throat in a shower of maroon
But all the while you must remanin stoic
Lest you find yourself no longer on a path
But in a maze

There is much to feel good about, in our modern age

But there is chaos, in this present time

When the citizens of this nation, wish to elect a miserable jester

To be a leader

We see ignorance at such ridiculous heights

Behind the rain curtain, I saw the place of your rest

I laid orchids on it’s ethereal grace, and saw my memories flash like thunder

There you were, becoming one with the planet

As a walked as a mammal, unknown to the angels above or below

There is no right or wrong in this life, merely living

And I’m tryin to live as much as I can

For the both of us

When the fires reach the shores of the foggy eyed people

How close will it need to come, to make their sight clear

These fires will rage on

And will burn until the world is ash

People do not want change, they want complacency
They want the comfort that all the tales of old white men were told to them
That peaceful age of nuclear scare, were the white man was his own
And the colored individual knew their place
We do not want equality, we want safety for all our pretty white sheep
We are wolves that are stained with blood, all across our yellow teeth

You are such a sweet soul, that has been born into a world of vileness and cruelty

You have a smile that is Christ like, you have the voice of a bird song, beautiful to listen and cherish

You have been cut and bruised, from the words of those that wish to hurt the joy you have

You are strong, you have endured, and you have strived

You never needed anyone to give you help, because inside you are a warrior

You are as shy as the fox in the forest, timid in your appearance, you sit in fields of daisies

But you are strong in your ways, you are stone, you are a rock

You are careless in your actions, you are as free as the wind that blows against the tops of these pines

But you are strong, you have endured the judgement of others from your mistakes, you have proven you are marble, and that you shape your own life

You are unsure, you are confused, and that is okay, for you are still strong

You are young, you still hold to the warm joy of your youth, you still believe in innocence, and the morality of fairy tales

But you are strong, you are naive, but you have a heart of pure gold, warm and maginificent as the sun

You are fat, you’ve been ridiculed for your looks as young as you could walk, you have endured everything tooth and nail

But you are strong, you are the towering oak tree, you are the symbol of strength, you carry radiant beauty in your limbs

You are different, you do not fit the mold of this society, you have been scorned for going against what is deemed as morally right

But you are strong, you are the obelisk of resilenice, you spit blood and defy the lashes that people wish to give you, for you are strength

You are poor, you’ve had to work the fields as long as you can remember, and you’ve faced cruelty from it

But you are amazing, you are strong, you are a sunflower growing among wheat

You are such a sweet soul, that has been born into a world of vileness and cruelty

You are simply, amazing

Oil runs in the veins
Coats the teeth black, makes the lungs ashes
It filters the morals with an axe, it makes the ground barren
It becomes an ocean filled with blood, and the shores scattered with bones
A catalyst for the grip, that wraps around the throat and chokes
In the desperate hours, it becomes like a drug
A ****** unlike any kind, it’s a most vicious bite

I awoke one morning to see the rain pouring softly, a mist against my window

I looked outside and not a sound to be heard, the birds were not conducting their melodies, the wind not writing its poems among the trees

Every soul seemed to be gone, I looked to my mailbox and not a single letter, I looked to my friends and none would answer

The same for my parents, and all my mutuals, it seems I was all alone

Did I do something wrong to have caused this rapture? The silence was deafening to my mind

I’m not sure what has caused all of this, but I guess I’ve become king of lonliness, and I sit and look at my empty kingdom

Under all the rubble, does the light still flicker from the gas lamp
A remnant of hope, that lays in the shatters of once standing prides
All that screams, is now silenced by the ash coming from the destruction
But the gas lamp still remains, waving its flag of war in bright orange and yellow

You told me once, of my inherent ugliness
That I was a "fat"
That I was "prideful"
That I was "vain"
That I was "headstrong"
That I was "flawed"
That I was "unloveable"
You aimed to crush me, for your own pleasure and gain
But I knew better, for I realized
What you were really saying, you hate my joy, and I loathe you have it
For I am ugly on my insides, and wish you unrest
I took your words, and threw them to a fire
And walked along my path
With my "fat"
"pride"
"vainity"
"confidence"
"flaws"
With joy on my cheeks, and grace, in my heart

Apathy is a most infectious disease, a grueling illness in the hearts of the human populous

For if there is no cure of this plague, it will surely be the sounding horn to our own extinction

t’s hard, to use the method of escapism to deal with the reality around

For writing, music, games, art, reading, can be mesmerizing to distract

But sometimes it isn’t enough

And you still have to cry into a pillow alone at nights

Though it may sound as melodrama, the harsh reality is it’s true

For many are not lucky to have grown up in good homes

To have had loving and caring parents

That pain sits like a razorblade pillar in your stomach

And your tears sting your cheeks like saltwater acid

Then you have to muster up strength, and keep your hopes on an even level

And for those that are the unfourtunate ones, always know that you are wonderful

And that your cage isn’t permanent