i used to remember your laugh like it was yesterday
so visceral and clear
it hurt so much to know what I had lost

now your laugh is a memory of a memory
distorting the harder I try to recall
shouldn’t it hurt less—
to forget what I once held dear?

the suffocating sorrow of a clear memory
and
the desperate grasping at the light i thought would never fade

only a laugh so lovely, could cause this kind of pain

O' love....your name I hear everywhere
What are you?...I  asked.
A voice came from within the depth of my heart
Love is.....it said
"When the world is lying at your feet
Yet, you don't care to look
For you can't take off your eyes
from that one face. "
O' how truly beautiful love is...said I.
Come...come...love
Come to my heart
For I too wish to feel your touch
Dear sweet love.

I lived with it.
the nails that was not trimmed for a long time.
the cuts i never knew i had.
the blood that i bled.
the dirt.

the unnecessary, uncomfortable.
the nightmares.
the pain.
the failures.

I did not have to die with it.
so i trimmed my nails, and wrote this after.

Why are we different?
Because you are a brittle block of rotting wood,
And I am an immortal diamond within obsidian sand.
When angered, you will raise your hand,
But don't you dare raise it to me,
For I will stand like statue, your blow caught in my palm.

he’s always there,
he’s never fair…

he’s itching to play
truth or dare…

but beware
of his spiral stare,
because his game
leads nowhere.

I think
all works of art
at their best
when they reach
their purpose
without setting a goal.

Death without warning embraced my brother.
Now silently, painfully stealing another.
For now it's my dad, not long for this earth
So clear in his eyes how he questions his worth.
Creatures of habit as we humans are,
Death and dying seems to be so afar
Why don't we stop,
hold our loved ones so tight,
Not believing that death
will come creeping one night,
Because we feel so invincible
That time is just a clock on the wall.
Everything put off, due to love, due to hate.
Whatever the reason time does not wait.
I may not be the first to say this
I certainly won't be the last,

"Please make time for your family, don't wait till they pass"

For death without warning will appear in your night
Embracing your loved one into the light.



Laurel Selby
12/8/24

I chewed through the streets to find you

up & down the avenues of hope

my burning heart raged with fire
when you were there

and you were all that I wanted,
all that I cared for

you brought out the potential in me
when others had shown me the grave

you released my creative freedoms
when others had me incarcerated

all others before you were mere
throwaways, a simple practice
leading up to you

but when the lust had dried up
and my yearn for your thighs
still watered,

I still cared for only you

its when you became the exact opposite
of everything you’ve ever shown me

that’s when the love became scarce:

I could not stand the sight of you
I could not fathom what you’ve become
I could not grasp what lurked behind those fiery eyes

we were once aggressive lovers of dark bedrooms
and now passive strangers on blue-grey streets


and when we cross each other’s paths,
you fidget with your knick knacks
and watch your soap operas

so, I must go
out into the cold
where it is winter
where it is always winter
where the harsh winds sting
and the frost bites as the snow storms
back where my heart still rages on
in the streets I used to chew
through.

in soft hours when your heart’s
awake dreaming
and you feel a soft whisper
gently tracing
your skin, your spine to your soul
that’s me loving
you

Proud to be a woman!
We are strong like the Mountains,
Deep like Oceans, and High Achievers like Clouds.
We are Soft like Snow, Hard like Stone,
And Dangerous like Fire.
We're Valuable like Silver, Precious like Gold And Priceless like Diamonds.
We're Lovable, Valuable, Understandable,
Respectable, Changeable, and Undefeated,
Because we're women.
#HAPPY WOMEN'S DAY
I should Say HAPPY STRONG HUMAN Being DAY

trying to get a little dopamine—
In somebody’s lap.

Flashbacks.
Shivering.

Hands,
        hands,
              hands.

An eclipse right at noon,  
Daylight faded in swift.  
The whirl of life, haphazardly, spun—  
The night came before the shade could lift.  

He picked a mask he liked;  
Never did he take it off.  
Blood changed, adrenaline spiked—  
By a stranger, he himself was kicked off.  

This stranger lived with a new face;  
Some were disturbed by his change.  
In every test, he'd ace—  
A lock one would never hinge.  

He exists still, but not there;  
Doesn't care about the world.  
Yet thinks himself to be fair,  
A repeated mistake too old.  

And he shall know  
Of the mishaps he conceived.  
The melancholic days—a fierce blow;  
In no respect was he healed.  

That, he knew too, very clear;  
His soul had long been tainted to care.  
When asked for "the real you"—a sharp spear  
On masks of previous spin, could he stare.  

One day, a new air—  
This stranger was then caught.  
He sought an urge he couldn't bear,  
Struck by the truthful Failnaught.

The zombies no longer scan what
They pick up to watch or read

Even with the warnings glaring from Under them like angry children

Finding the simplistic and naturalistic concepts disgusting and offensive

She is a teacher, she is a guide,
A doctor, a pilot, with strength and pride.

She reaches the stars, she touches the sky,
No dream too big, no goal too high.

She leads, she builds, she loves, she fights,
A force of power, a source of light.

Happy International Women's Day!

If I am to die any time soon
Please, lord, let it be on a Sunday afternoon;
Let it be 15 degrees with a slight breeze;
Let it be under a soft sky with a purple hue;
Let it put an end to me feeling so blue;
As the aeroplane trails fade out of sight,
Let the blackbird song lull me into night.

I have wide ranging
stupidities
and unsupervised
fantastic ideas
dancing with
confusing urges

just another sign
thee entrained vibe
originated
from a string pulled
and a call made
so other is unmade

your interaction here
your entanglement
if you are dancing
somewhere with vowels
spelled out aye aye
is preluded after all

Dove, dove
Dove, dove
Please dove, dove
Please dove, dove

Dove, dove
Help me feel their love dove
Dove, Dove
Help me feel their love dove

Oh dove, dove
I know they love me dove
But dove, dove
Why can't I feel their love dove?

Dove, dove, I know that I'm loved
Please dove, dove
Let me feel some of their love dove
Dove, dove

Dove, dove
Help me feel their love dove
Please dove, dove
Please dove, dove

Dove, dove
I love them all back dove
So dove, dove
Let me feel my love dove

...
....
.....
......

Please dove
Dove, dove...
Please let me feel their love
Dove, dove...

Dove, dove...
Help me feel a bit of their love...
Dove, dove...
Can you help feel at least some of their love?...

The 'I'
is the problem
not either eye

Eyes so sweet as light,
Yet black as night  
An intense gaze ,
That stirred her soul ,
Her emotions untold .

Says my Soul
that you and me have been in an endless journey
for many lives
living in each others heart
will continue for another billion
no one and not even God can **** it
no human can sabotage this pure love
which keeps growing to infinity every moment
where I feel you in my blood, my heart beat, my smile, my breath
and my every moment
will do till my last breath on this Universe

A moment not long ago life was perfect,
meaning, you were permanent.
Feeling like the world and what might control it had done justice.
Making everything less important,
being just us.

Once quite a while ago life was about living.
Living life longing for no more than needed.
Its memories, fogged by what grew from underneath it.

Between this chaos a whisper calls.
This voice, telling me it wishes time stalls.
To find within this pandemonium, a moment about me.
A moment, for once, to seek some clarity.

Lost in a playlist put on shuffle.
My life, not rough, but kinda dull
My longing for peace, my need to heal,
it's now I start to feel.

I need a moment.
Just one.
one for me.
for once.

Who am I,
What do I seek,
Why do I cry,
Why am I weak.

What's my purpose,
I'm not sure,
Am I worthless,
I'm just a man and nothing more.

Lately my heart has been aching
Due to problems of my own making

Feelings I find hard to express
In a poem I can confess

Now an audience I desire
To share the fruits of my inner fire

A small thing I request
My need is great ... this is no jest

Adversity must become
our advantage in the life.
There is no need to say anything about the difficulties , ultimately winner knows the reward of struggles.
A winner thinks  and act according to experiences of previous life.
There is no need to cry over the toughness of life, because life of an individual prepares itself  for forthcoming challenges of life with a deep smile!
०६/०३/२०२५.

I love you when you are happy
I love you when you are sad
I loved you yesterday
And I'll love you tomorrow
More than i previously had.

I love you in the moonlight
I love you in the storms
I love you the way
Roses love thorns.

I love you in autumn
I love you when leaves gloss
I'll love you the same way
Grief loves loss.

do you know the weight of it?
clawing your way up
test after test,
year after year,
to be the perfect reflection of the dreams they have for you,
those that are now your own.
where your worth now hangs.

when they see the prize,
they say, 'oh it comes so easily to her'

Easily?

i bled for this.
i screamt for this.
and my mind?
it whispers
'this is just what you're supposed to do'
you are 'gifted'
its your mere responsibility.
nothing to celebrate. nothing special.

isnt it?