I loved you faithfully for years but you love another,
And told me to stop my feelings because it's a bother.
We were friends yet you chose someone else - - - her,
And said that she's the one,  the road to your forever!


Sometimes you held and kissed her gently in front of me,
I was standing there fighting hard to control my jealousy!
My eyes might flicker, my smile falter and my voice break,
Actions I could hide by sighing but feelings I never fake.


I wanted to shout to you "Please look at me and love ME!"
Or do something to set my emotions, my love for you free.
I wanted to run and passionately rain kisses all over you,
But as always white turned black and red changed to blue.



I am still here standing and that my heart isn't really aching,
Looking at you, I just only hear it  quietly and rapidly breaking.
You never knew that tears fall every night from thinking of you,
For despite all the pains you unknowingly caused, I still love you.

Guilt ran through her body,
        as she continued to blame herself,
        for a love she gave, and did not receive,
        she wanted to keep him,
        but he was not hers to keep.

Her thoughts, filled with nostalgia,
        and her heart screamed in pain,
        she gave her love on a piece of paper,
        until nothing else remained.

if letting go of you
was supposed to free me
when why do i feel
like i’m drowning?

Sometimes I wonder how it would turn out
For me to disappear
For me not to exist

Sometimes I wonder if you'll even remember me
Is it all a lie?
Is it an illusion?

I wonder what if
What if
Is all I wonder

Would you be able to recognize?
To miss or even remember?

I wanted to disappear
To the void
Where no one's around
To hurt me or console

I wanted to disappear
Atleast then I wouldn't feel
What I've been longing for
Longing for so long

My heart’s a mess
and my mind’s the same.
But moving onto another day
Knowing I can’t have you
Brings me such dismay.
I’m not adequate, it’s such a shame
That you seem so perfect
In every way.

I need to shatter
this rosy image.

Am I not your bestfriend?
Why do I keep on missing things?
Do you know it hurts to pretend?
The feeling in my heart stings.
Let me know if I'm not a bestfriend to you,
So that I won't treat you like one.
Is this what you call one-sided friendship?

....
Every time I think of you.
Every time I hear your name.
I'm trying to swallow the feelings
still lingering on the lining of my throat
wanting to yell out "Come back, I need you."

Even though you hurt me.
Hurt me more than I was prepared for,
My skin still stings for your touch.
My lips still ache for yours.
My whole being still revolves around you
and what you think of me.
If you even think of me at all.

My thoart is dry enough to start a fire,
a fire you have made impossible to burn out.

He wasn't supposed to know, wasn't supposed to find out

That he was what she was always crying about.

He said, "It really doesn't bother me, nothing has to end."

He said, "Things won't change and we can still be friends."



But the lies that he told were not as white as he had thought,

And he left her all alone with the darkness that she fought.

He never meant to hurt her, and it hadn't occurred,

Because no matter how much pain there was she never said a word.



At times, she finds that silence is more deafening than words.

She's screaming in her soul in octaves he has never heard.

He goes about his daily life, and just on a whim,

He says hello as he walks by, though she is nothing to him.



She smiles as he passes, but it's nothing more than a lie.

She's tired of living, but she doesn't want to die.

She goes about her daily life, and just on a whim,

She writes a little poem, and her mother calls it grim.



She lifts up onto the bus seat, and she closes her eyes.

The bus begins to roll as she silently cries.

She slips on her headphones and disappears into the sounds

Of a world in which his face is not the only one around.