I let them tear at my insides
Rip me open and take what they want
I’m lying helpless. Spread open. Exposed.
I wouldn’t dare look them in the eye.
One by one I feel their weight lift off me
as they get their fill and move on.
I’m left alone.
I wipe their saliva off my ribcage and hug my insides together.
I start to feel my heart beating again.
I can feel it echo throughout
my hollowed chest
I lift myself up and start to walk.
I can see more scavengers in the distance
I close my eyes, wincing from the pain.
And continue to walk toward them.
A huge metaphor. But I never understood why I kept coming back to it. I would feel utterly gutted after, and still showed up the next time.
My eyes drift up to the rotating colors moving as fast as my heartbeat across the ceiling.
I close my eyes and feel your hands gripping my thighs, pulling
me in, closing all distance between us.
All the blood in my body rushes down between my legs. I bite my
lip in anticipation, letting my body sink into the sensation of
feeling your warmth next to me.
I take one last look at the kaleidoscope ceiling, bring my lips to yours and finally give in.
A moment I had to capture.
How do you feed longing
to where it's always satisfied and kept at bay
by the shores of your soul
I feel waves of all consuming loneliness
knocking me on my knees
begging for someone to lift me up
and hold my heavy heart above water
An insatiable monster
If I flip a coin and it lands on tails,
I'll tell you why I did it.
tails, I'll tell you why I felt like I wasn't enough anymore.
tails, I'll tell you how afraid I was of being erased
tails, I'll tell you how much I wanted it to be you
and if it were to land on heads,
I'd stay silent
Unsaid words and how much pain it can inflict on one's self
You laced me with your touch.
It lingers in my goosebumps
just waiting for the excuse to rise again
to see you rise
thats when I feel the most wanted
but I want you to want me with my legs closed
I feel hollowed out, gutted.
I can hear my heartbeat echo throughout my chest,
making it the only way I know I am still alive.
and that something is still alive in me.
What do you do when you don't feel anything at all?
My flowers are wilting.
Missing sun, missing water.
They feel abandoned
My mind has become a dark room
with scratches on the wall, keeping my thoughts in isolation.
I'm waiting for the rain.
The rain of clarity,
of a new season.
To let the light back in