A vile of acid on your tongue.

You words are like toxins I inhale,
suffocating every breath I take,
injecting self doubt in my veins.
Muscles trembling with every pace,
landfiling my heart with every beat.

Blaming and calling
crazy and emotional
in response to your says,
leaving me to question
my own sanity everyday.

You felt like a insidious catalyst;
a cancerous wound,
a rabid havoc,
a malicious destruction
withering me in the subtlest of ways.

But here we are once again,
rekindling old flames
even when we know it's poisonous for us to stay.

Don't know if we're too weak to leave
or are too mindlessly lusting
for the poison to infiltrate our bloodstream
and corrupt us  to our cellular level.

Either way, it's a grosteque addiction
for the soul, mind and heart.

Time is slipping.
moments are fading,
deadlines are approaching
and emotions are changing.

Everything is
modifying,
dimming,
evolving
and reforming.

It's a tightening feeling in the chest
that catches my breath.
But then I exhale
letting it loose.

Life is moving forward,
days are coming close,
anxiety is getting worse
and I don't feel prepared.

But I have today,
I have this moment,
I can make something of this time.
Little by little,
day by day,
it will be alright.

There are days when negativity seeps in,
draining your energy
turning your mind into a battlefield
making your heartache
stealing your happiness with haste
breaking your self esteem
fading away your belief
festering your mood
and stamping out your light
to leave you parched-desecrated soul
with venomous whispers slithering from cell to cell
cracking and wounding your heart
leaving your mind toiling in negativity.

These are the days you hold onto words
to keep yourself together
and let go of words to express yourself.

You try embracing positivity,
focusing on yourself
and pursuing your passions.
You try to hold on to what
and who make you feel better.

Humans
of different ages
learning and experiencing
growing and evolving
through different stages

"Having gone through it once did not mean it did not hurt the second time. It is painful, raw and heart-wrenching. But I know I am going to get through it. I know I have to invest in myself, the people who I love and love me back and invest in the things that make me feel better so that my past would not hold me captive. I know if I was to work for the better, I would be much happier with my present and would not go back to rekindle with my past as I would have accepted the suffering is part of the path of finding my strength and a better self."

- excerpt from an open letter

Heartbreak and disappointment
dimmed by the laughter that escapes
and jokes that are made
letting me escape
the aching pain.

Forming a defence of
flowing endorphins  
preventing it from sinking deeper.
Although I am sure by night
I would be a weeper.

Which is alright,
pain and disappointments
are a part of life
there is no harm to feel,
to acknowledge to heal.

But one must not dwell
for it is a part of a
better plan that
awaits for ones fate.

I had to put boundaries
when it came to you
to avoid being myself completely,
because for you I was
too deep
too emotional
too attached.

I was either “too much”
or “too less” in your eyes.

It felt like I was confining
my ocean in your river.