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Dec 2020 · 50
Curtain Calls
Robin Lemmen Dec 2020
I see the end. We are at the ballet. Enjoying the view. Experiencing joy and heartache. Thinking to ourselves, I wish I could dance like that.

Once the curtain falls we are left standing. Not sure if it's appropriate to clap and praise or count time we'll never get back and call it a day. We look around, hoping for encouragement. But there is no audience. It's just you and I. All I can do is look at you.

I like you. I should probably stay. On autopilot we raise our hands to applaud. I glance your way. I see the end.
Nov 2020 · 186
Autumn Burns
Robin Lemmen Nov 2020
Dear Autumn,

Please take away all the pain I held over summers head. Dress up scars with pretty orange and yellow leaves. Leave me bare for winter, so I can be found again. In the city where acceptance is the only thing we have going for us. In my flashy, save neighborhood where I feel most myself. I walk over spines and skin fallen from trees and pretend I don't know, don't hear them begging to be heard. Begging to be found, before the season seals this grave.
Jul 2020 · 76
Let's Talk
Robin Lemmen Jul 2020
Sometimes I think we're simply too different. At first without consequence, soon without prospect. When we don't scream but sit in silence. When we ignore the other because it's easier than asking what's wrong. Easier than admitting feelings are confused. It's not like you'll read the poems I write, I stopped sharing them with you a while ago. I once read your thoughts and it is scary that I'd go so far. But who am I? Sometimes with you I don't know. Mostly I feel like a child, needing to learn most everything. Other times, I'm the exact person I feel I am meant to be. And I want to say I'm wild, free and unbound to anyone or anything. But truth be told, I'm bound to you and wherever you go. Maybe that's a relationships greatest gift, and greatest curse at once. I'm just not sure where in your world I belong. So, let's talk.
Robin Lemmen Jun 2020
I need to hold you. Lonely isn't a color I wear well. Silence a fashion I wish to go out of style. You should dress in blue's meant for twilight and I'll drown myself in forest greens meant for growing life. Draw, a picture on the surface of my skin. Your mesmerizing hands painting over marks of longing I hid from myself and I. And when you touch me, I don't feel lonely. Do you know how scared that makes me? How I can only imagine losing those eyes porcelain blue filled with kindness and carefully chosen secrets to share. Consuming me whole and leaving me blooming pastel colored confessions of sins and night skies. I slept with lonely so many times I forgot to recognize where her blacks ended and my own began. But when you touch me I don't feel lonely. Falling for your eyes, your smile and the details of your person isn't lonely at all. Falling in love with you is finding rainbows in shadow. Falling into you is falling into my own. Colors, hues, shadows, and all. You're teaching me that love isn't black and white. That it's not lonely after all.
Apr 2020 · 179
Always Forever
Robin Lemmen Apr 2020
Why do I cry four times a week convinced this is the end? Breaking my own back to be perfect for you. The more I do, the less you respond. The more I do, the uglier I get. Why do I panic and obsess over silences? I count every unsaid 'I love you" and carve them into bone. Make sure I don't forget. Misery loves company, and I constantly crave yours. My body feels old when my soul is supposed to keep young. My heart hollowed out when our love is supposed to fill it up. Why do I fight so much when I am not sure this is worth it for either of us?
Feb 2020 · 130
Hello, Goodbye
Robin Lemmen Feb 2020
I fear you'll leave without a kiss. That I won't recognize goodbye until I realize there never will be another follow up hello to balance it out.
Robin Lemmen Jan 2020
I hear all the things you don't say. Feel the weight of words you left unspoken, leaving them for me to mold into anxious minded conclusions. I see it in your eyes, all the ways you don't want me anymore. All the ways I'll never match up to your fantasy, the dream of a woman created by a lonely 16-year-old boy for none of us to ever resemble. I feel it when you touch me, the lack of certainty. You tell me half-hearted secrets but leave out just enough details to make me question every broken sentence. It becomes most apparent in your silence, with every minute creating unthinkable distances. I read it in the eyes that no longer hold mine. But most of all, I hear it in all the things that you don't say when I know, goodbye lies so heavy on your tongue.
Jan 2020 · 115
Baby Blues
Robin Lemmen Jan 2020
My baby bleeds back, my baby tastes blue
He desires me, when I'm dressed in red
My baby loves you, my baby loves me
When we go to sleep he's thinking of you
He takes us to bed, he drowns me in tears
My baby likes you, he doesn't like me
Jan 2020 · 346
Happy New Year / Me
Robin Lemmen Jan 2020
Happy New Year. I thought of you as the clock struck twelve. I looked back once more, at the year we shared. I stood with my phone in hand. Should I acknowledge the past that we shared?  Now mere familiar strangers. Happy New Year. Perhaps this time I will feel a little less broken. Happy New Year. Did my name run through your mind as you composed a list of whom to write? Happy New Year. I hope a new year means a new chance to forget. I think we both deserve. Happy New Year. I wanted to write. But I lost your number in the fire I set to myself a while back. Happy New Year. I did think it. I hope you are alright. Happy New Year. My love, still ever glowing embers. Happy New Year.
Jan 2020 · 331
Robin Lemmen Jan 2020
You loved me so wrong it felt right. When you didn't say goodbye and ran off to catch the last bus because I am nothing if not wasted time. When you kissed your sister on the cheek but wouldn't let me kiss you on the lips, what was that about?

I hope I am a nice memory because you're not really one in mine. Sure we had good times, way back when we danced through the kitchen and you pulled me into your lap. When you held my hands and crawled over the table to kiss my forehead. But did you know that every time you stayed silent, the depths within me grew exponentially? So I grew big and hollow with millions of loving words written in diaries and poems. Left for dead and uninvited to your bed. Let's talk about that. When you heard me cry, felt my body shake from trying not to break, I know you registered that, I know you wanted to be anywhere but there. Why didn't you just say so? I wasn't strong enough to. I let you sleep through my nightmares and even made you breakfast. I should have left you, back in 2017. But I was hopeful and naive. Guess my friends were right. You did teach me everything I never want again so thank you for that. I sound bitter and full of resentment. It's mostly towards myself, why the **** did I stay? I deserve someone who's arms are the safest place on earth not the spitting image of pain.
Dec 2019 · 532
Robin Lemmen Dec 2019
Your stare could make roses bloom
Your lips poison so sweet
Your hands beg rain to fall
Your mind a labyrinth
Your soul endless layers of silk
Your voice like black coffee
Your touch makes time dance
Dec 2019 · 360
Skin and Bone
Robin Lemmen Dec 2019
Would you write me a song if you knew tomorrow I'd be gone? Glue your fingertips to gold and write me poems? Slowly drag the tip of your razor-sharp words along my skin, covering bone? Lick away tears with a tongue that sings to me in silver streams of love? I can hear your lips trying to run far off. Hide. Deep inside the forest of your bewildered thoughts.

Lovingly drink the night away and make love to me under long since passed away stars. Playing pretend that we are fine, as long as we hold hands. Red wine stains my mouth. Leave them be for now. Some secrets are better left uninvited to bed. And with glitter on your cheeks, would you still take me there? To the places you hide away? A paradise meant for pretty girls with teeth too big for their face.

Serenade me an earthquake. I will try and not fall down. Dreaming of the lyrical poetry you spit at me with fire.
Dec 2019 · 475
When He Comes Back Around
Robin Lemmen Dec 2019
Don't forget the scratches that healed into nothing
He might not have scarred but he certainly clawed
Aimlessly and wild
At your heart
His intent set on never loving you right
That counts for something
So don't let him back in when he lies crying at your feet
Begging to be understood and pleading sorrow he doesn't feel
Bruises may lose color but never their ghost
So remember that because each hit after
Will hurt a tiny bit more than the one before
Jun 2019 · 943
Robin Lemmen Jun 2019
Your technicolor emotions turn into watered-down versions when the alcohol seeps into your veins. Creating watercolor paint, and with that, you craft me images of a world unframed. Sculpting beauty from hope and wonders you found on the floor.
Perspective lost to the consumption of liquid courage. Making way for actions unrestrained. A little too much. A little too lost. A little too loosely letting your tongue take charge. Amplified by longing. Tainted by the ever-growing ghost of tomorrow.
You will not remember when morning comes. The art you drew in lazy circles around my weary body. The daunting fables you wrote me into. Left to be nothing more than simple fever dreams to reminisce over.
Robin Lemmen Mar 2019
Shall we from now on only express ourselves in flowers? Show up blooming colors that speak volumes more than words ever could. On my off days, I'll leave you a single Azalea in mourning, so you understand I am doing this for me. When my season comes around, I will string together a crown of Dandelions. They will symbolize what it is I feel when I lay down next to you. Care to dance? Through endless fields of Daffodils until we wilt down for the night. I will plant a forest full of Tiger Lillie's. Burning like a sunset on fire. I can't help but read Tulips in your eyes, blue as the bright morning sky. Feed me water and sunshine so my garden may grow. Paint my body the beauty of a dozen Red Roses. Zinnias grow in circles around us every time you smile, pure and white. Painting the world in hues newly discovered.
Yet, I can't keep you captured. Standing in a vase, center on my kitchen table. I will set you free. Gift your sweet, honey-like kisses to the bees. They need you more than I do. In our final goodbye, I will sing to you. Whisper of Sweet Peas as I change into a Primrose. After I will wander off and get lost amongst a sea of Poppies. I hope you will carry a pink Carnation with you as not to forget me. One day I will tell them about us through bouquets of Gardenias. They will last forever, these moments. Like petals pressed between the pages. Here we shall live forever, together at last. Buried on the grounds of our secret garden.
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Mar 2019 · 2.4k
A Tale of Gods and Monsters
Robin Lemmen Mar 2019
He sees himself a God and we? All monsters. Pride made it all his own even if he never lifted a finger. He deems himself incapable of sin. Even if storm clouds form and rain drowns all. It was never his doing. He went to collect prayers. He never did any wrong. Perfection differs from his reflection. The mirror may crack if he were to ever take off his mask. He would rather break angels than leave the world naked and vulnerable to see right through his tapestry of deceit. Transparent as it may be. He was born a man of Gods and Monsters. He the only one never in the wrong. Conversation is him shouting your name and flaws until you crumble. Echoes of bones breaking like acknowledgment of a battle won. Preferably right in front of his feet so he may clean his consciousness after pleading emotionless sorrow.

Job done.

One less monster to concur.
Robin Lemmen Feb 2019
I always trust the wrong person
With remnants of my heart
Giving away parts of me
They think they want
But reality is messy
Fantasies write better on paper
And fights are only romantic in movies
I am an ugly crier
A malicious fighter
An incredibly complicated version of normal
I whisper to myself to make me feel special
Life is nothing like they will tell you
Because it's incomparable to anyone else's
I don't know where I belong
I have seen many a place
But home is a concept to me, estranged
I am young but sometimes the world
Makes me feel so old, soul heavy
I wish I knew
How to turn anxious thoughts into
Precious gold for I would surely
Be the richest of them all
Melochany moods sipping ice coffee
In my underwear tapping along
To my favorite album
I find solitude in music
I find peace in unexpected places
But stray from comfort found in strangers
Help me, is all I know to ask
But when offered I refuse
I am the biggst burden of all, to myself
Robin Lemmen Jan 2019
It still scares me. The thought of being laid down by loving hands, gazing up at kind and gentle eyes. To feel safe in the arms of a long-ago stranger with a heartbeat now familiar as my own. I am mortified to undress and not hide this skin. To not hate these marks, fearing they will make you uncomfortable. It still scares me to trust the words of ones I love. They would never mean any harm, but humans are faulted. Flawed at heart. There simply is nothing to be said for the wounds healed by salted tears. So I stray from your line of sight. Believe me, this is for your own good. Veer from the possibilities of infinite. This ache is no more than a temporary glimmer of what used to be called hope. An abandoned carnival, full of stories and ghosts hoping to find belonging. I am always taunted by the dark. Even if I still may call it home. Won't you come in? My doors are wide open. I can promise you sight and glory. I can promise forever and mean it too, but beware of my empty promises. A beautiful painting. Won't you come and see my mismatch of watered-down colors? Only those daring to lose all have seen my oceanic storms. Please come closer. It still scares me, but won't you? Come, won't you play haunted house with me?
Jan 2019 · 1.3k
Robin Lemmen Jan 2019
you told me this secret is ours and all I could reply, in heavy shades of blue, was - secrets are sad and lonely, so maybe it is best to forget and not dwell too long. we don't want to become etched in time for wrongful reasons.
Jan 2019 · 1.4k
Conflict of Interest
Robin Lemmen Jan 2019
You tire me out, she whispered
But her words shaped differently
So he understood, stay my dear
Won't you try and love me
We only have nothing left to gain
Everything has already been lost on us  

They danced around each other
Eyes that used to find so much comfort  
Ended up living like strangers
And somehow, somewhere along the line  
The love that once was like wine to blood
A happiness on the verge of infinity  
Turned to blackened dust
Oh how she kept on dressing truths up
As if somehow, maybe
She could keep fooling hearts
A promise worth staying for

You are the love of my life
He whispered to her
But that was not what was needed  
And so she heard his heaviest goodbye
And after silence seeped into spaces  
She broke down in tears and he kindly held her
Because this was not the kind of forever they had been hoping to find
Dec 2018 · 2.2k
Space Odyssey
Robin Lemmen Dec 2018
And it was almost as if
I found stars in your eyes again
Lying on your bed, head on your thigh
Stroking my cheek
A lazy smile haunting the corners of your mouth
Beautiful, as the lava lamp gave light
And my eyes closed slowly
Hold me, I am home
For a second I was looking at the boy
The man I once got to call my best friend
And we kissed the stars into meteors
Soaring, spinning, free
We were infinite
But we never got the soft landing we wished for
We crashed into ourselves
Losing sight of the moon and stars
Just like we did back then
Like we always do
Until we are no more than mere stardust
Dec 2018 · 457
The Shape of Water
Robin Lemmen Dec 2018
I have been underwater for too long, I think I forgot how to breathe. Water streams through me, grounds.
Here, here I am safe and sound. And under the trees where my rivers end, I find shelter. Broken bones take time to mend. But in water you forget, all the wounds you never let heal on land.
Roots extend to my banks, begging me to breach the surface with them. Leaves touch my waters, sending ripples through me as they whisper words that bring me back from siren calls. Come take a swim, I will show you why I choose to claim the seas as mine.
I have been hiding for so long. I fear I won't be able to find my way back to shore. These waters keep warm.
Sounds of life, background music playing melodies as I sink a little more into waves, like hugs, promises that carry me home.
Come take a swim, together we can try not to drown and discover a universe unharmed by mankind.
Nov 2018 · 975
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
Today I cried. I stood still for a moment too long. And with my breaking point knocking, heavy on my door. I laid my heavy body down. Sunk deep into the ground. And here is the thing. Tomorrow, when the moon of yesterday is done watching over, after she has sung me to sleep with the lullabies I find it her moonshine, I will wake up. Stand, with a little less pressure on my shoulders. I cried out the hurt and endless wonders, released the tension in my body.

Today I cried. And here is the thing. I am always just waiting, tick tock, I am waiting. For my friend, my breaking point, to come knocking once more. Tapping on my bedroom window. Standing over me. Making my breath come shallow, blurring vision and losing color, softly squeezing my heart until I am nothing. I am smothered. Until her shadow, drowns my sorrow and the tears come flooding. And I find comfort in the darkness. Lonely sometimes brings such comfort. Misery a feeling I wish to wallow in.

Today I cried. And here is the thing. I will smile. Joke around, my friend came by last night, we just had a long talk. I simply am tired. I am not vulnerable.

And here is the thing. This is a never ending cycle. And somedays, with salt sticking to my cheeks, body disconnected from the world, I don't mind this feeling. I simply feel tired.
Nov 2018 · 4.5k
Sticks and Stones
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
You leave pavements ******
And graves dug but without bodies
Learning tricks of manipulation
You know how to wrap us around
The small of your finger
With bloodshot eyes and a mouth
Full of sweetened poison
You kiss girls and leave them hungry
Foolishly hoping that your touch
Just might heal them
You leave pavements cracked
So we are all left skipping  
Hoping to save your back
Isn't love unkindly blind?
Nov 2018 · 3.7k
The Void
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
The silence is loud
It speaks words to me
Clear as day
With the ghost of your body
Here, laying so close next to me
Empty promises, lost hopes
And I don't think there ever was
Anything more to it
But still, I look for meaning
Regardless I look for answers
In the silence, you left me with
And all that you never did say
Nov 2018 · 3.9k
And If You Do
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
Maybe I do, hope for you to one day read this.

And if you do, know that I did think about our could have been's. The conversations that would have created, deep-rooted storms inside of me. Intrigued by the glimmer in your eyes and the way your bones seemed to be pages full of stories. How I would have loved to read them, explore the meaning of words with my wildfire touch. Fingertips trailing down, tracing lines, writing songs along the curve of your spine.

And if you do, too, maybe one day we shall find a way to write them down. These will be's, as they are now. Crafting a universe, just us, you and I.

And if you never do. I hope you are well. Speaking in chapters with people worth your time. I am glad you found magic in their minds and a challenge in their smiles.
And I still hope you will.
Nov 2018 · 4.2k
The Me You'll Never Know
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
And it is tiresome to think
But most of all I drown in sad
Knowing you will never know, me
Like I wish, like I know you could have
To explore my midnight tendrils
To watch me, be
Broken wishes that left scars on my skin
Explore boundaries knowing
Home awaits inside my arms
It is tiresome, so tiresome
To always ponder and dream
Stuck on wishful thinking
So, please
Don't paint me troubled
Think of me in pastels, a breath of spring air
After the confusion of winter's numbness has melted away
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
You are trouble. He said with sparkles in his eyes. Is that good or bad? She no more than whispered. How naive, child. To think trouble could ever be perceived as anything but destructive. Bruised is she, the troublemaker with her loyal and trusting ways. To be needed, to be looked at. Not as a challenge, something sinful but something worth staying. Leave her be, if all you see is a firecracker begging to be put to your fire. You are trouble, and she your purest desire. Don't put the blame on her. Your meekness is on nobody but you. Leave her beautiful, not broken to judge her trouble before goodbye.
Nov 2018 · 1.8k
Dream nor Fable
Robin Lemmen Nov 2018
I blinked, once too much. I opened my eyes and was met by a stranger bearing the face of whom I once loved. Unknowing you is a journey, endless wandering hoping to loose remnant traces of you. Wondering, unsure, how does one lose all they love yet keep the scars. Painted an angry red against the pale softness of my skin. I blinked once, twice more, hoping to reverse time. Hoping the same mistakes would lead me back home. But you and I, we were nothing like the fairytales they feed children before bedtime.
Oct 2018 · 12.5k
Midnight Tendrils
Robin Lemmen Oct 2018
I wonder if you ever reach out
Hoping to find the curve of my body
Connecting with yours at 4 in the morning
I wonder if you ever get lost in reverie
Looking for my love at twilight when the rest of the world
Is soundly sleeping off the day left behind
You move through time without letting it latch on
I wonder if you ever miss my name, on the tip of your tongue
Think and long for those five letters to form a song
But you would not listen to it even if it were to be sung
I wonder if you ever miss my heavy thinking
And how I would share those mesmerizing nightmares
Those midnight tendrils with you
I wonder I wonder, I wonder
Oh how I wish to come home
Oct 2018 · 478
Alas, You Forgot
Robin Lemmen Oct 2018
How could you forget
The way my lips kissed you truths
You felt as heavy as your own
Because they were
We were likes and strangers
How could you forget
The way my arms kept you safe
On nights where the world
Knew how to hurt you most
And I held you as you refused to talk
Because I understood, I had been there before
How could you forget
The laughter in my eyes
As we serenated each other songs
Written decades before we were born
Because I still hear your voice
Deep and unbothered
Full of passion as you looked at me
And me feeling infinite
How could you forget
What it feels like to wake up
Tangled in me, limbs intertwined
Because I wake up empty
Wishing to go back
Longing for those days
How could you forget
Just like that
Because I still dream of you
Every single night
Wake up wondering
If you are happy
Doing the things you love
I miss you
So tell me
How could you forget
In the blink of an eye
Robin Lemmen Oct 2018
Dim down the lights
This way you won't have to see me cry
Turn my body around
My eyes will tell you stories you can't bear to hear
And do ignore me in the morning
I am so dreadfully loud
But am I okay?
Are you alright?
Never again did those words fall
Dripping with honey
Sticky with longing
Down from your lips
To kiss my porcelain skin
Never again did you care
I remember so vividly
The turning of the tides
It came flooding, that Autumn rainfall
And all that was left for us to do
All we did
All we managed

Was drown.
Oct 2018 · 2.3k
A Eulogy For Sunken Love
Robin Lemmen Oct 2018
Now when we are together
There is familiarity in your eyes
Our bodies like magnets
But our hearts no longer align
And every small difference
Between our definitions
Of wrong and right
Of care and love
Screams louder than memories
Making me wish I somehow
No longer knew you
And we were strangers again
But the thing is
You always find my calm
Still my ever aching mind
Hold on tight
Let me go all at the same time
I am not sure which is better
What would be a kinder farewell
But I anticipate that this time
You and I
Any and all concepts of us
Has settled for a silent last breathe

Goodbye, our time has come.
Sep 2018 · 5.0k
Snow Globe Memories
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
My favorite times with you were the ones well after twelve. Long after the clock had sung its midnight song. Eyes sticky with sleep, heavy from dreaming and the naked truth inviting. We found ourselves daring to walk into darkness. No trace of fear lingering onto our unmarked skin. It was you and me, two strangers, against the world. Together found, and for a sliver of time, happiness no longer seemed an eternity away. Love can exist for infinite times but sometimes that means not together but apart. Memories and warm hearts trapped inside the protection of a delicate glass world. Turned upside down and waking up, forgetting we ever said farewell at all. Snow starts falling, each and every time I whisper goodbye, to the ghost of our winter love. Stuck, forever, reliving memories inside the snow globe of my mind.
Sep 2018 · 6.2k
Once Upon A First
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
I hope someday soon
My heart will stop
Asking about you
For my eyes to see you
In the faces of strangers
And my limbs to untangle
From the ghost of yours
That left a long, long time ago
I hope my heart will one day
Be able to forgive me
For giving it away to someone
So reckless and beautiful
And that my body stops aching
For the scars you left
Are constant reminders
Of all that was lost
Once upon a first love
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
even my nightmares miss you because being welcomed home in your strength and safety was enough to satisfy them and make way for dreaming,
Sep 2018 · 3.0k
Reckless Promises
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
And you told me
No matter the wreckage
You did not regret
Any part of us
Kissing at the train station
Surprising me on my dark day
Loving under the moonlight
Dancing through the kitchen
Telling me your secrets
No matter the wreckage
You would not forget me
Could never regret us

Did something change?
Sep 2018 · 825
Staying Takes Courage Too
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
Stay, just a little bit longer
Let me hold you even if all you give is silence
I understand this is just temporary
But let me ease the pain
You do not have to be grateful
You do not have to say thank you
I know it is hard to be there for someone
When mentally you are battling
Trying to find where it is you are standing
But stay, even if just a little longer
And let me hold you for a few moments more
I know it won't make things better
But please stay, just a little bit longer
We all need someone to hold onto
Sep 2018 · 7.9k
Spring Cleaning
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
Untangle my body from yours
                        Step number one
Untangle my gaze to stop from speaking volumes
                        Step number two
Untangle my dreams from reality with you
                        Step number three
Untangle my definition of happiness from your presence
                        Step number four
Untangle the future from possibilities containing us
                        Step number five
Untangle my person from yours
Sep 2018 · 3.3k
Robin Lemmen Sep 2018
If I ever were to try
and explain to someone
how much I loved you
I think they would be heartbroken too
Aug 2018 · 7.5k
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
Sometimes I feel like a sunflower lost in a sea of roses. Drowning out my sunshine with endless streams of red. Killing my words with the poison of your laugh. Bleeding out my confidence, replaced by curious venom.

Sometimes I feel like a tree lost in the comfort of the forest. Handing out leaves to cover up bruises. Letting me die over and over again to bring me back around every fourth season. Roots deep in the ground, no way to escape now.

Sometimes I feel like a monster in a halo of angels. I am the reflection of your nightmares hiding in broad daylight. I am the devil’s daughter pretending not to care. Claws sunken into my back whispering words of despair.

Sometimes I feel like a book lost to a world of imagery. Words to give lost to the ones that don’t care about it. I am a song in a foreign language begging to be understood. I fight my mind with movements captured on a screen.

Sometimes I feel like I am screaming in silence. Begging, pleading, dying. All with a smile on my face for we only care about what others don’t know about us. What the world sees.

Aug 2018 · 654
And They All Fall Down
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
You taught her how to breathe
When her lungs had learned to make do
With air, holding nothing but fear
You showed her a man capable of loving
Something broken and delicate
For reasons obvious to you
But oblivious to her
You loved her well
But it broke down your walls
And you were not prepared for
Something so great
So you gave up, not on her
But on yourself
#love #romance #read #walls #intimacy #confusion #depression #art #lovers #metaphors #broken #hearts #selflove
Aug 2018 · 4.9k
Let's Play Hide and Seek
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
There will never be anyone like you
Broken by the world, mended by pretend
Nobody like you, a mirror passed and disgraced
Someone who can hold me while I cry
The same way you did, without asking why
Understanding the battles I fight
To keep from breathing smoke
To keep from drinking fire
Please come back
I know we could
Everyone makes mistakes
Let this be yours
Aug 2018 · 10.7k
Paris In The Rain
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
romanticize our problems
until they are colored in pink and purple hues
baby blue mornings filled with you
fantasize our perfect life together
what if reality is the fake
coffee, music, and solitude can be found
any Saturday safely in your arms
awoken by kisses soft and gentle
until clothes end up getting lost somewhere
dancing around the living room
in our pajamas, without masks on
I wish this was still true
but this is not reality, this is not truth
this is me romanticizing past loving
like dreaming of Paris in the rain
Aug 2018 · 5.3k
Winter Bodies
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
You are a stranger to me
With a body I know too well
Eyes I recognize so empty
And a laugh that once
Filled up my spaces
Dates become more significant
When you are not there to
Acknowledge them with me
You are like snow
But instead I am the one falling
And you were gone before
I ever even had a chance
To capture your beauty
My ghostly winter lover
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
Let's consider our ending a sunset
Something beautiful not simply painful and sad
Let's consider our ending the sun going under to find a home once more
Let's consider our ending a new beginning
Regardless of if we need it or even want it
Let's consider our last goodbye the opportunity a fallen star
Giving birth to a new day, a new love, a new life
And let's consider our ending the moon falling over us like a warm blanket
A lonely companion through the night as we try and heal these wounds
And perhaps, if all is meant to be we will meet again
And we can consider the sunset not the ending but a beginning
Aug 2018 · 9.2k
My Favorite Summer
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
I smell summer on your person
Tan is your toffee colored skin
Chlorine the scent of your hair
Bright skies and warm nights
A promise for tomorrow
I see summer in your smile
Soft loving and a bit of longing
Touch me gently and let me know
I am real and make me feel infinite
Water splashing in my face
I hear twilight in your voice
Bring laughter to my eyes
Sparkle brighter than the stars
You, you have a way
Of making me feel
Like I could be summer to you too
Aug 2018 · 26.7k
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
I love company
In the form of anxious thoughts
I am less lonely
Accompanied by twenty screaming voices
Tearing at my every inch of flesh
Pouring pain into my veins
Crying is good for the soul
They laugh in union
As I lie lonely in my bed
Hoping someone will find me
Bruised and broken
And take me into their arms
Hold me like a child
But you are too grown to feel such things
These voices whisper, licking blood
Carefully off their fingers
Spikes poke at my sides leaving no room
For me to move or breathe
I am slowly dying
And yet I tell you I am fine
For if I were to ever admit
That this is how I truly feel
My demons would take form
No longer shadows but figures
Ready to take me whole
Aug 2018 · 40.9k
The Secret Garden
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
Our entire relationship I felt
like all I was doing
was waiting for you and I to break
like goodbye was only one kiss away

And when I finally started feeling
like maybe, just maybe
we would prove ourselves wrong
you left me in shambles on the floor
shards of our favorite memories
cutting deep and letting me bleed
flowers painted red

I can't seem to escape
everything feels laced
with your winter remnants
blooming a stark white contrast
to my deep dark wounds
leaving broken roses everywhere
Aug 2018 · 11.9k
I Can't Seem To Let Go
Robin Lemmen Aug 2018
Losing is a game I have mastered
I win each and every time
Battle wounds won't heal
If you keep on pouring salt
I feel so lost when all I wish for
Is to be found
I keep latching onto memories
Because when I was most unsure
You made me feel safe, you felt like home
It didn't matter how little I understood
About the world around me
You made me feel like I was enough
Like I had a safe space to come back to
You were the only person that ever made me feel that
So when you left, so did safety and belonging
And ever since that day
I have been screaming your name
In silence to myself
As if somehow that would make you reappear
But it doesn't
It never will
It only makes me feel more lost and like
Nothing I ever do will be good enough
I want to so badly, but darling
I just can't seem to let you go
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