You were my happy place
You were my home
But then you left me
You left me suffering alone
What am I supposed to do know
When I'm broken lost and without a home.

They fall so deep,
Never to be seen.
The darkest depths where they hide,
No one can never seem to find.
In the shallow where they burn,
Never wanting to return.
With hopes of being their forever,
Being afraid to come out whenever.
It might be filled with wonders,
But still stuck due to standards.
To others they don't seem to matter.
If spoken might leave heart shattered.
Preventing itself from hurt.
There they'll remain as lost words.

Not knowing when this pain will expire
A little freedom is my deepest desire.
Not knowing when my days will get better
I'm unaware of what's causing me to suffer.
Not knowing why my life became this sad
When I'm sure I did nothing bad.
Not knowing how to handle my depression
Wanting to feel happiness at least for a second.
Not knowing if the end is near.
These negative voices is the only thing I hear.
Not knowing if hurting people has become a trend
Breaking hearts that aren't easy to mend.
Not knowing why I'm falling apart.

The memories keep replaying in my mind.
I hate the feeling that burns through me.
When your name registers in my thoughts.
Oh! I really wish I did things differently.
I despise myself.
Because of how stupid I was.
I was too caught up in the pretty little lies of yours to notice.
Regret fills me to the brim.
My soft side is slowly throbbing and fading away.
My heart blames my mind.
For sinking in too much.
And I now have to live with the mental scars you left.
That reminds me of you.
Everyday of my life.

There's never a time.
When I don't worry.
I have too many.
Things on my mind.
Every night I loose sleep.
Just because of overthinking.
Too many feelings.
Too many emotions.
Too many memories.
A number of confusing thoughts.
Swirling in every inch of my head.
I don't really know.
How to feel anymore.
All I am is broken.
And all my feelings are numb.

Laying up at nights for hours.
Missing out on beauty sleep.
I keep on over thinking.
Because I over love.
And I over care.
But all they ever did.
Was break me.
Every night my face.
Becomes a pool of endless tears.
Why am I so easy to love?
I don't really know.
If it's my heart.
Or my mind to blame.
It's all so confusing.
I don't deserve this.
Voices telling me.
That I'm too weak.
But I try my best.
To ignore it.
Slowly killing me inside.
I want no more love.
I feel it's Poison

You say.
But you don't act.
Claiming that it's the truth.
But your truth makes no sense.
Debating that you would never.
But still do it whenever.
You think this is a game.
Proving that everything is really fake.

Her beautiful colours.
That were lit up by your smile.
They loved dancing with your eyes.

Her tears one day.
Washed away her colours.
Leaving nothing but grey.

When you left.
You took her rainbow away.

This is how it ends.
The ocean of lies you left around my thoughts.
You saying "We were meant to be."
You assured me that you'd never leave.
But look what happened.
You left.
Everyday my heart aches.
And now all that's left.
Is another heartbreak.

Nothing but the stars.
That wink at me.
The moon and I.
Play staring contest.
The early morning breeze.
Snakes a kiss.
Across my cheeks.
A silent talk.
With my great friends.
This is where.
We bid farewells.
We return smiles.
Until we meet again!

We talk about random stuff.

We ask each other random questions.

But the question that I truly want to ask is.

"How do I get you out of my head."

She kissed goodbye.
To the bitter sweet memories.
Not wanting them.
To rot inside.

Let me enjoy my self peace.
Allow me to be at ease.
I want to concentrate.
Give me a chance to meditate.
Wanting to be locked up in a room.
Where these thoughts of mine begin to bloom.
No need for anyone to stay with me.
I accept things as is and let them be.
My face can now drown in tears.
Time to let go of my worries and fears.
But who knew it would be so hard.
I guess I didn't plan right from the start.
By myself, where I can feel at home.
I just want to be left the hell alone!

Her words gathered.
All the courage they had.
Deciding to speak.
Their heart out.
Letting the world know.
What they are actually about.
But along the journey.
They became scared.
Running back to their home.
Inside her head.
And went to stay.
In the darkest part.
Of their hiding place.

There is always a time.
When she would think of you.
But there was never a time.
That she didn't wish.
Not to think of you.

You were once.
Her most favoured dreams.
That's slowly transforming.
Into her worst nightmares.

It captivates the mind.
It reveals untold secrets.
It speaks for the heart.
It searches within the souls.
It brings back the memories.
It expresses hidden feelings.
It exposes the truth.
It understands the pain.
It transforms your thoughts into words.
Not everyone comprehends it.
It carries with it relatability.
The amazing feature called Poetry.

She started studying the stars.
Hoping that she could.
Find a way to.
Brighten her darkest days.

When you are smiling in your dreams.
I am here crying myself to sleep.

When you are having a good laugh.
I am here practicing a smile to hide my scars.

When you are enjoying your day.
I am here wanting the memories of you to go away.

When you are having fun and getting wild.
I am here cooped up in my bed loosing my mind.

When you are there experiencing.
I am here regretting.

When you are having the time of your life.
I am laying here wanting to end mine.

Be your own sun shining in life of others.

Be your own flower that beautified ones dried up garden.

Be your own bird the soars high above in the sky.

Be your own moon that allows the night to bloom.

Be your own star that lighten the way of a person's dark path.

Be your own person and appreciate being you.

The more she thought
You could save her
From drowning
The deeper she went
Underneath.

Poetry mends the broken hearts.
And comforts the tormented souls.

She had a smile.
Bright enough.
To hide.
A million scars.

Her heart was too sweet.
So he broke it.
Piece by piece.

Can't stop this feeling.
That you give to me.
One simple touch.
Butterflies dancing around.
In my stomach.
Shivers race up my spine.
The uncontrollable beat.
Of my heart.

Can't shake this feeling.
One simple glance.
An electrifying smile.
Creeps upon my face.
A satisfying warmth.
Swim through my body.

The need to hug you.
Taunts me.
The thought of you leaving.
Haunts me.
If you go.
Then I'll be broken.

Never wanting.
This feeling to end.
I would go to.
Hell and back.
To save it.
My heart wants to do nothing.
But protect it.
This one feeling.
That keeps me going.
And happy.

This feeling called Love.

You were her cigarette.
That she got addicted to.
But you vanished over time.

She wants to cut her throat.
For it to bleed out.
The words that her mouth.
Never have the courage to utter.

When the love for each other runs so deep.

But all they can do is give a simple greet.

And smiles they wish could last for a lifetime.

Can only be shared for a short while.

When Age Gap and Religion can be so mean.

The things they wish to do together only appears in dreams.

Even though they keep wishing on stars.

Nothing changes; leaving them to keep loving from afar.

The day you left.
Her deepest thoughts.
Began suffocating.

She lost track.
Of her beauty sleep.
Telling the stars.
About you.

It circulates through me.
Like the blood in my body.
Jaw clenches.
And I can't think straight.
Heat spreads through me.
Like wildfire.
Veins tighten.
And I keep thinking about the mistakes I've made.
It fills me to the core.
This anger that I feel.
My body wants it no more.

The huge weight pulls me under.

To the deepest part of the ocean of brokenness.

No one there to save me.

While I'm drowning in my thoughts.

But then again!

It's just the beginning.

She is scared of what.
The future holds.
Still she can't turn back.
When she has been.
Traumatized by the past.

Her mind grabs her thoughts.
By the throat.
Strangling them.
Wanting her to get.
A good night's sleep.

Writing  makes her happy.
When the pen.
Feels her pain.
And the paper.
Understands her words.

There she was.
A beautiful little rose.
But heartbreak after heartbreak.
She looses her precious petals.
Until nothing was left of her.

I write the words that my heart cannot speak.

The words your eyes will never meet.

The words my mouth refuses to greet.

The words my thoughts serve to my mind as a treat.

The words that are hidden beneath.

I lay here lifeless in bed.
With no sort of emotion.
Staring at the ceiling.
Yet I'm still confused.
The music from my airpods take over my mind.
I think about how broken my life is.
How I gave love to those who never gave back.
Now I'm totally confused.
My mind's not telling me how I truly feel.
My heart is literally exhausted.
Slowly fading from a beautiful red thing.
To a very dark and cold object.
I can't control the thoughts in my head.
I might as well drown myself with tears on this bed.