Have you ever had a dream that was so good, you never wanted to wake from it? A moment in time that was so close to perfection that you never wanted it to end? How about a love that seemed so true that you thought you could never be so lucky?

That, is my life with you.

The minutes turn into hours, which turn into days of a wonderous confusion that sweeps me off my feet and takes my breath away.

Like the air itself gets thinner when you're by my side, I can barely inhale without feeling dizzy. A lovestruck fool, cursed by the blindness from your scintillating light.

The ground gives way beneath me and I am taken by the oceans of hot magma beneath its crust. Washed away into a dreamland of an unfamiliar feeling.

Is this what they call true love? Perhaps it is the sharp tongue of Cupid's arrow that has pierced my chest, or perhaps it is yours. For to give anyone else the gratification of stealing my heart, would be scandalous.

The deed is yours, and yours alone.

I willingly tear open my soul and bare all to you; the good, the bad, the ugly. My flaws are thick and deep, my depression viscous like a demented fluid in my veins. But my heart is pure and my mind is calm with thoughts of you.

If you accept me, as I am, I am yours.

Forever more.

The barricade surrounding my core is cracking, my thoughts swim circles around the whirlpool of emotions that cascade down from my heart. The ever-changing waterfall of colour and darkness flows from the between the cracks.

The flickering ember that painfully fuels me, sparks a light as I smile at my screen again.

My porcelain mask tears and opens a minuscule door that you’ve put your foot right through. The screams of a thousand dying suns are made quiet by your presence, even for a short time. The relief from the agonising cacophony is frightening and sudden, but welcomed.

The empty, forgotten halls of my heart feel full of peace instead of abandonment. Their lonely corridors instead feel humbled and content in their fate.

Such feelings get thrown in with the gratuitous violence of the maelstrom that thrashes inside these walls.

Amidst the solitude and the painful sobriety to the outcome of this existence, there is hope. Like a glittering jewel at the bottom of a merciless ocean, you shine. Bright and proud, tempting me to take a leap of faith through the teary waters I’ve endlessly cried.

The doubt infects me like a virus and the selfishness lurks behind me like a menacing shadow, but I’m blinded by the shimmering gem of light you entrance me with. Mesmerised, I dive headfirst into the depths, praying it isn’t merely an oasis of the mind.

My shining star, my hopeful dream, my new day.

Close your eyes,
What do you see?
Nothing, blackness,
The dark inside me.

The pitch black hole,
Inside of your soul,
Is filled with prescriptions,
They say will make you whole.

You stop eating,
You stop feeling,
You stop sleeping,
You start drinking.

All to make the pain fade,
To feel alive for another day,
Tell yourself you'll survive,
Nothing heals wounds like time.

But it's all a lie,
No matter how hard you try,
You can't live when you want to die,
Without wings you'll never fly.

You stare at the ceiling endlessly,
Try to dream,
But all you get is an ode to sleep.

Once upon a time,
Where I knew that you were mine,
I felt like I could fly,
That our love would never die.

I was so naive,
Thought that you were with me,
But maybe, just maybe,
Your new found love is in your screen.

I felt I had to hide,
Had to run away for the night,
Had to fight or flight,
You made me feel alright.

Nowadays you push me away,
How can you say,
That you want me to stay,
When you make me feel decayed.

I'm tired of staring at my ceiling,
For hours on end just wondering,
Where I went wrong, did I hurt your feelings?
*Maybe I'm doing harm by existing.

He said she was special...
He told her she was pretty too.
He wants to let go,
Of history and start anew.

But she can't see,
Through his screen,
Into his life,
And his thoughts unseen.

She was naive,
Young, and stupid,
Didn't understand,
The concept of grooming.

Now she has no trust,
In others or herself,
Because of that one man,
**Feeding off her health.

Do you ever feel like you're crumbling down the middle?
The cracks don't show,
But with insects you're riddled.
Tiny little bed bugs eating your insides, Perhaps they too are done with all your lies.
And now they've come back, to eat you *alive.