You are only ever alone.

You've only ever had yourself.

You only love certain things about people.

Your behavior is molded by your...

enviornment.

While contemplating
My ethical take on
Conflicting desires
Between individuals
My children playout
Imaginary tragedies,
Attaching to things,
Building an identity...

I wonder what exactly
I have to teach them
When I'm still deciding
What it even means
To do Good in such
An abused and broken
World.

Its been a day
No big deal, I mean
I just saw you yesteryear so
Please take some time to yourself

Its been another day
It'd be nice to see...
Well don't worry about me
I can put my life on the shelf for at least...

Another day goes by
Figures, guess Ill just get high
Its not like Id be doing anything
Differing my usual stream of tears

How long has it been?
Smoke fogs my memories
It seems like as soon as I get close
Time pushes me even further away.

Are we still...waiting?
To find out who you are?
Or was it me with the issues?
Its been so long since we touched I

I just don't remember your name.

Our logic is round
Like the world that we stand on
Our fathers are proud
We proved to be worthy spawn

Our reasoning is cyclical
Like the seasons return on schedule
Our mothers still cynical
That love exists beyond her child

Morality makes us whole
Like a cold drink from a clean spring
But do we have a soul?
The weight of the question runs deep

You can't prove me wrong
Isn't a good enough reason to act out
And just because a song is sung
Doesn't mean I have to listen to you shout

Its hard to sleep
With a broken heart.
What we all seek
Can tear us apart.
If you had the time
Would you trace the stars?
Could you decipher my rhyme?
Will you read my cards?...
As if to apologize,
For wearing a garb.
Your dress is divine.
My soul is abroad.
Tonight, I bleed wine,
'Morrow already mourned.
Sweet ruca, sublime,
Drowned in kama sutra.
My intentions in mind,
Ruled by a louvre.
The light to pass by
Is only illusion.
As moon crosses sky,
Fate brings resolution
My destiny's high,
Gods own absolution.

The lid fell off of the
Black pepper grinder.
The steak is still ******
Rank on the slicer
Just finished the study
Work on a splicer
Crust isn't quite sturdy
Snort all the flower
My lips taped with gauze
Cracked, ****** briber
You want it your way
So you'll never find her.

Burning time with
Written rhyme for
No real reason at all

Thinking of fall
Colors leaving
The trees turning neutral

Faces wrinkle, and
Water trickles
Down the flowing river

Leading us back
From which we came
To unity, once again.

I guess I'll just
Try my best to
Play both sides of
This never ending argument cause
I can't resist the  
Temptation when I
Talk to my demons
About what we're really capable of
Deception isn't my
Preference, but still
At this point I'm just
Trying not to resort to something
More destructive since
It's painfully obvious
That we prefer our own
Illusions over the grueling climb
Towards Truth.

We are all so flawed that
When we attempt to trace
The face of divinity
The names scrawled frantically
Carving ink into our skin
All of our moral failings
The meaning lost in translation
Though we try again and again
Allah doesn't ring the same as
Yahweh

I seek Justice
And I'm cast down in the shadow
Of my own imperfections.

I try to be humble
And I'm seen as coward who
Only acts towards their own ends.

I'll defend the weak
But then I'm demonized for
Being the one to take things too far

I cry out for help
Yet, even those closest to me are
Unable to recognize when I'm suffering.

I give what I can
But when I take for myself to
Keep myself sain, I'm being selfish.

I call out to God
But demons have always been
Better at getting the job done.

Today I have realized that
I fear evil
Not because I fear pain, or death, but
Because I truly don't understand
Evil and it's origins...
How could you? Yet, its still an
Intrinsic part of who we are
Collectively.
Only through seeking understanding
Can we ever hope to escape the fear of
Living... Day to day the
Tarrot have taught me that
Following the 21 paths down the
Tree of life leads to the
Kingdom we all seek.
And to get there you must pass
Understanding.

People think they've come
To know God speaks to them
But still haven't learned where from
The message came through

'Heres to all the spoons with holes in them...
To picking out your own switch.
'Heres to leather belts with holes in them...
To sleeping out in a ditch.
'Heres to those of us with holes in them...
To keeping far from the witch.
'Heres to mothers with holes in them...
To striking a hopeless snitch.

Here we go again,
Another day, another dollar bill to spend,
Still dividing my time, by seven twenty five
Plus tips up the bid,
School will "take care" of your kids,
Don't think about missing out on them,
Cause in the end we all gotta eat...

It's not as easy as it's made out to be,
This, so called "American dream".
It's been a scheme since the banks became a thing,
And it seems to me that,
Winning isn't really even an option....

Cops shootin' down innocents,
Ignorant people blaming the immigrants, Violence is imminent in the face of division.
And we are all victims.

I'll take the higher ground today,
to prove to you that I believe in love.
Even if that means
walking the path without you.

I think I'm dying
All the time
Lotus petals fly
Up from grime

My heart beats' skipping
Stones to glass
Cold clear image cracks
Rain to grass

Oceans drink poison
Plastic waste
Curse evolution
Just to taste

A little bit more
Levee be
Standing at the door
Death's waiting

Oh god...
Please no, not this
Just breathe slowly and
Hopefully it'll go away, then
SHIVERS spark beads of sweat
The pain inside you'll never forget
Hot and cold, breathe in and out, then
LURCH
   Oh God Why?? I'm
CH...Oking on my
       I n s i d e s
CO....UGH I can't FU....Cking breathe
My God is it ove.... Rrrrrrr...

Breathe... Just breathe
Spit and wipe the tears from your face
Sweat in my eyes burns like
The acid in my throat but
At least it's done...
At least I hope

I sit here
Contemplating how to conquer my fear
Can I alter the wheel? Or just
Fall down and kneel? I must
Have something to live for, some
Spark to ignite, some
Purpose to endure, these
Pains in the night, still...

I sit here
Searching for a way out of the pattern
It doesn't matter to the scheme, but
It keeps me from sleeping
Scattered thoughts, in a blink
I'm lost again, for naught, cause
Memories are so decieving...

I sit here
Thinking so what if Im selfish?
Are you saying you're not? Ha!
The prospect is childish, this
"Who said what again", nonsense,
Is boring the **** outta me...so

I sit here
Waiting for the reckoning.
Patiently, drifing through this
Time and space and happening,
Chasing pleasures, and vices, no
Remorse when the dice roll
Snakes eyes see through cold stone,
I can tell you arent alive so...

I sit here...

Wake up with wonder, and
Use what you know.
Do it for love, and
Reap what you sow.
Keep faith in people,
Home is in their hearts
Such a sweet romance
What a pain to part
Lions can be gentle, and
A turtles shell is sturdy, still
Life continues to cycle, while
Karmas law prevails
Death waits so patiently
Everyone takes a turn
Face your adversaries
Sometimes buildings burn
Some stars turn into dust
Some dust collects into moons
Some suns light up the soil
Others are swallowed by doom
These are the worlds
The words that God spoke
So I wake up with wonder
And I walk with hope.

I find it difficult to write when my
Pen made up of love is filled with
Broken hearts and pointed tongue's.
It's like a gun that's shootin blanks.
Like I drank the rotten soup that
Sloshed inside and made a mess of
Things... won't ever be the same.

I find it difficult to sleep at night
Cause my dreams remind me that
The waning moon sheds our skin and
Im afraid of ending up a sheep
Corralled into a gate that shapes my
Destiny... How cruel of fate.

I find it difficult to speak to you
When emotions rule my thoughts
Of *** and touch, my only tools
Good for fixing lonely souls until our
Hearts beat together and the blood begins to
Pool... Whatever shall we do?

I find it way too ******* easy to
Find a pretty persons face and
Sew them to my quilt of reasons
I'll never be okay with feeling
Like a tea leaf over boiled so
You can get a taste of watered down
Me.

When you hear thunder roar
It's hard to imagine
You could be the one in a million

But when the static in the air
Makes your hair stand on end
The realization comes fast as lightning

I should probably eat better
And quit smoking soon
Money ends up with the debtor
And stocks pop like balloons

I know that I should know better
But what do you know?
Claiming to "know THE creator"?
What an absurd notion...

I really should exercise more
Spend less time online
At least I'm not so immature
To pretend I know what's Divine.

If I want to grow
I must take what I need
Rip apart the Earth, and
Spread apart my leaves.

If I want to succeed
I will do what I must
Strike down my demons
Make gold out of dust

If I am to be
I will take my time
I will need my space
And a good pair of eyes

If I am to love
Surely, I will die
For there is no better cause
To sacrifice life.

This used be a breath of fresh air
Ventilation when I felt suffocated by
My overflowing thoughts and ideas
Racking my mind for the words to
Express what I feel about *******...
Being alive...
Now I just hear echos in the endless
Caverns of data, stacking numbers
Became too important and it's like
We've sacrificed what it meant to
Just be human.
The depth is beyond comprehension
Crushing darkness all around us
With nothing more than glimmers
Hung just far enough to wet your
Thirst for knowledge
And still, with all of this death circling us in a seemingly endless abyss
We can't seem to grasp that it is life
That is the splendid exception to the
Laws of physics.
We'd rather toil over our individual
Perceptions of what it means to be
Good or Evil, on a rock that frankly
Doesn't give a flying **** about
What we think.

We walk through life
Side by side
With brothers and sisters
Husband and Wife.
We talk through strife
Word by word
Allegorical paintings
Sounds and swords.
We stalk through night
Step by step
Deaths shade ever closer
Moons and Stars.
We balk at the height
Thought by thought
Denied immortality
To be, eventually, not.
We choke on the fright
Second by second
Time rotting our plot
Love and genocide.
We met all the same
Day by day
Ill save you from change
Still memories fade.
We blacken the shade
Scar by scar
While holding your hand
Made it worth the burns.
We kissed in our dreams
Heart to heart
Torn at the seams
Doomed to part so...
We love while we can
Set after set
The scent of our thirst
Sweet and sweat.
We've been here before
Life after life
Ill see you again soon
My soul picked yours.

You don't make me cry anymore.
When my mind glides by your amorous glow,
Our past no longer slows my rhythm.
You struck a chord, and our light diminished.
A musicians sword, cuts like a prism.
This prison I've put us in,
Is no longer fitting,
For rainbows arch too far from tradition,
And a white dress only fits on a ******.
It's urgent that,
I spell check my wording, cause
My inner workings are always flirting with
The idea of falling for you again.

Cookie cutter beef cakes
Rockin all the colored tanks, but
Thanks for the tips, since
It seems that you've had
One too many sips, lad
Slippery slopes are steeper when
Your mind is floating in liquor
And your sick as a *******,
Dirtbag getting lucky
Loose lips or legs? I...
Can't really tell the difference
Anyway, these trees are
Keepin me shady, gators
Sleeping in the shallows
Hallowed be Thy white Jesus and
Hallelujah drunk Christians
God forgave or forgot us?
I don't really remember
Fishing with Moses, while
Parting red roses, pedals
Counting our precious metals
Settle down now younglings
The partie's only just started.

It's hot, stormy nights like this
With tip-taps on the glass and
Sudden loud claps rumbling
Thoughts of my past come
Scrambling back

That summer night party where
Our eyes struck a match and
We danced in the smoke while
We sweat out the high and
I couldn't stop my mind from wondering between your thighs
Whiskey burned holes in my memory
But not as big as the one I tore in your leggings...

But we burned out that night
I didn't know, I just hoped you
Might have wanted to stay but
There was someone else and you
Told me that you made a mistake...

You were art to me...
Just the way you walked through life
And talked with a lisp and didn't
Take anyone's ****, what a bad ***
Punk rocker *****, I swear to GOD
If I would've known you were
Sticking needles in your arm...

I doubt I could've taken it away
Addiction is something that stays
Even when it's unwelcome, and
There's nothing I can do to change the past, but it's nights like this one that
I just wish I could tell you
That you were art to me.