I sit and ponder about everything to be
I wonder how things will turn out
And all of the people I will see
I worry that I'll look back on my life
And see many things that brought me less than glee
I wish that I had all of the answers
To all if the questions in my head
I hold myself to several standards
That I'm not sure I can accomplish
All I want is to be successful without all of the answers
I wonder if you still believe the lies he tells you.
I wonder if he’s told you the truth.
I feel sorry for you, you poor dumb girl.
Okay, so look, I get your sitch
The girl you love is a total *****
You wonder why she goes away
Even when you ask her to stay
She wants the guy you can never be
But that's okay, just let her flee
She doesn't know how good she had it
When things go every way but perfect
She'll be hopping back to you like a rabbit.
I think of you
You know i do
Even though I shouldn't
I just want a kiss
But everything else I'd miss
I just want to touch you
You are my other half
You are my closest friend
I hope that I'm with you until the end
I am enjoying my time with you
Please don't let it stop
I don't know what I would do
If I didn't have you
Yes I know that this is really cheesy. But no, I don't care. I'm just sharing my "typical teenager in love" feelings.
Today is the day
I am finally okay.
I've been waiting for this
For a long time now,
And I am overjoyed that it's here.
It breaks my heart that you were never mine.
It breaks my heart that you forgot about me so easily.
It breaks my heart to think that I don't cross your mind.
It breaks my heart that I feel the need to cry over you.
You probably have the same opinion of me as everyone else.
You probably think that I am a *****.
You probably think that I go with whoever I can get.
You probably think that I have become a disappointment.
We don't talk anymore, but I wish that we did.
You used to know me so well.
I used to tell you everything.
And you always knew what to say to make me feel better.
I want you back.
I want our friendship back.
I wish that whatever made it go away
Never even happened.
Is it my fault?
Did I do something?
Are you angry with me?
Please don't leave me in the dark.
You were my best friend, and now you're gone.
I don't care for being remembered
I don't care if no one comes to my funeral
Or if no one comes to see me when I'm older
I just want to be the girl that you remember
Twenty years from now
I want to be the girl that you wish you had kept
I want you to not even be able to say my name
I know I'm not going to forget you
It's near impossible
Your name is forever carved
Into my brain
I'm not going to tell my children
Or my grandchildren
About how much I cared about you
Or how much I wish I would've stayed with you
I'm going to tell them to never go near
A man like you
I'm going to make sure that they understand
That you might be the worst thing that has ever happened to me
You hurt me in ways
That I don't even know how to explain
And I'll make **** sure
That I'll never let that happen to anyone
That I truly care about
About a boy that I fell head over heels for my freshman year of high school. I wish that I could go back in time and tell myself that he isn't worth it, but it's too late for that now.
Every time something good happens,
Something else always ruins it.
Why am I so conflicted?
This shouldn't be so hard to figure out
It's a yes or no question
Why is it so difficult to decide?
Should I ask my parents
To take me to therapy?
Or should I just keep writing down my feelings
In a book no one will ever see?
I've spent months trying to decide
But I can't make a decision
Will the person really care?
Or just give me a mouthful of *******?
It's easy for me to tell strangers my feelings
So why is it so hard for me to go?
I need help
But I'm too scared to ask
This is a topic that i have spent many months trying to decide on. My father offered to take me to talk to someone, but i dont know if the offer is still open. Plus we don't have a lot of money at the moment. I really need help with this decision. I you'd like to give me you're opinion feel free to.
Why do I feel this way?
It's so unusual
I am actually
I know that this is a good thing
Why do I keep thinking
It will go away so quickly?
Maybe it's because I'm never happy for long.
Though this is a different kind of happy
This is the one where i actually feel as if
I'm going to be okay
Just one more
I can never reach my goal
It keeps getting lower
Today is the first time in a while
A full meal was eaten
My tummy got full
But maybe too much
It's like I can feel myself getting
I don't like it
I wish it would stop
But I let it keep happening
It's like I've lost control
They are becoming more visible
How is no one noticing?
Do they just not care?
All I need
Is for someone to care
For someone to assure me
That everything will be fine
In the end
I need someone to tell me
But I need it to be believable
I'm sorry if you've told me before
And I didn't believe you
These voices in my head
They're tearing me apart
They might end up being the death of me
Whether it be starving
Or I pull the trigger
I wish it would all be over
I wish I would be happy with myself
I'm 10 under my initial goal
But now it's 10 lower
How much longer will this go on?
Someone please help me
Is it Anna? I really hope not. I don't want that.
If only I were someone else
If only I weren't here
If only I could die
If only no one would care
If only i had the courage
If only i could pull the trigger
It was just you and me
Sitting on a bus
And I was acting funny
I told you the things
You never wanted to hear
You started getting mad
You started yelling
You begged me to rethink this
You were so concerned
I started messing with you
I feel horrible about it
I was just upset
And now all I want to say to you
Is that I am truly sorry
I didn't think it would
Hurt that bad
Just know I am truly sorry
When I was younger I used
I'd be the cheerleader
all the boys want
I used to think of
being the popular girl
with a perfect family
and no doubts about life
I used to think that
kids like me
Now I sit here
and think about life
But now I don't see much
of a future
My veins are hurting
I want to see their blood
but I don't
because I don't want to see the therapist
my father threatened me with
If you really look
the scars are still there
waitin to be broken open
Now I'm thinking
of the food I just ate
And it's lingering in the back of my throat
while I'm debating if it should come back up
Now I look in the mirror
I feel sorry for the girl
from what seems long ago
who though she would have
the perfect life
Without all these thoughts
I wear a jacket almost ever day
To hide the little bit
Of my stomach poking out
I notice flat tummies
So I cross my arms over mine
I usually put my hair in my face
So people won't notice my dorky glasses
Sometimes I try to go without them
But its hard to see and read things
I wear a lot of makeup
As an attempt to hide the imperfections of my face
I don't like going without it because
I feel people always stare
I know everyone has things
They don't like about themselves
And you may think differently
But if you try and tell me
I end up not believing you
I think you're just lying to me
So I'll feel better about myself
School is not a very fun place for me
Yes, I have many friends
Yes, it can be fun
Most of the time it just feels awkward
When I sit with people I know
It feels as if I'm not wants there
Most of the time I am just ignored
So I'll just read or think to myself
We are both in love
But not with each other
While I'm thinking if you
You're thinking of her
You say you dont want to be like strangers
Yet I know nothing about you
And you know almost everything about me
You are a stranger to me
Even though it isnt what you wanted
People love to learn
But they hate going to school
This is a problem
Why is it so hard to sleep?
I lie down in my bed
Eyes shut tight
Sleepiness is in my head
Yet I can never sleep
I want to paint with all of the colors known to man
I want to get all of my feelings out
I feel as though I am trapped inside of myself
Trying to find a way out
I'd rather stick to writing
Painting just doesn't work for me
I feel it is easier to say how you feel
Rather than show it
I know you feel unloved
I know you feel that no one cares
I know you want to die
But know that I love you with all of my heart
Know that I will always care
Know that if you die, I won't last long after
Unloved loved care caring die
I just want to sleep
But I am thinking of you
Therefore I can't sleep
I miss you
I miss the way you used to smile whenever you saw me
I miss you
I miss the way you stared into my eyes with so much love
I miss you
I miss the way we kissed with so much passion
I miss you
I miss the eyes that are so blue i could just swim in them
I miss you
I have someone else now, but i can't get over you
I miss you
I just want you out if my head
I miss you
— The End —