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I can't stop crying.
It's stupid I know.
I knew we would have to end.
But why did we have to end like this?

Are you hurt too?
I know how well you mask your emotions..
You're my oldest friend..
This loss cuts my soul so deep.

Why did you have to lie?
I can't handle that.
Here comes the tears again.
Staining my face with a trail of salt.
My eyes are red, puffy, bad.

I don't know what to do.
This poem is awful.
I feel like ****.
Oh and did I mention my period yet?
Just. *******. Great.

Today couldn't get any worse.
I lost you
It hurts so much
But I don't want you back.
I don't want a friend I can't trust
You'll probably see this but I hope you don't... God this hurts.
I feel like all my time is wasted;
But I can't make my feelings turn to hatred.
For some reason I really want you by my side,
I can feel a change of tide.
There's something stirring in the wind;
Please, I'm scared, don't let it in.

The warm night breeze upon my face;
Don't lie to me, there is a better place.
Some place peaceful, free of sin;
A place where we will meet again.
Close your eyes and try to breathe;
It is as beautiful as the sea.

But first to know the truth within;
Look inside, don't give in.
Know yourself, then know me;
Then it will be new and shiny.
I won't let your feelings of me get in my way;
I will always dream of a better day.
A day when we are close at last;
A day when all of this is in the past.

And if this day will never pass;
I'll always dream my dreams.
Full of fields with the softest grass;
A ray of sunshine that forever gleams.
Yes, I will always have my dreams.
I really want us to be friends. But I get the vibe you don't like me anymore. That won't keep me from hoping that I can overcome that and we can become close. I used to not like you so who knows? There's a good chance you'll see this. I don't know if it will make any difference or even mean anything to you. You know who you are and if you are reading this then, I love you. Please, let's be friends? We had come so far. Don't throw that away.
 Feb 2016 Brittany
Jax levii
 Feb 2016 Brittany
Jax levii
I fell in love with you
when you didn't want me to
and I told you the darkest
secret of mine. thinking you
would be the one to save me
and make us combined
but instead you walked away
with my sadness still bleeding
from my brain, a pit of blood
left from the confusion
that is my pain
 Jan 2016 Brittany
Ray Suarez
A friend of a friend
50 lbs my senior.
We danced
We danced.
I apologized all night
"****, I'm sorry,  I haven't danced since the 8th grade..."
"It's OK, I can't dance either."
I pulled her close
Drunk on 10
She really had
A beautiful face.
I felt her ******* against my chest
I got an ******* on the dance floor.
She was looking down.
I wondered if she was looking at
That grotesque
We interlocked our fingers.
It felt so good.
Her hands so soft.
We danced.
I could breath again.
You brilliant *******.
I was
There we were,
under the watch of the moon
and the distant traffic lights,
swinging from rope to water,
diving, turning, spinning.
Drunk on our youth,
we divested ourselves of our suits
and let the water sink around our bodies,
which glowed with untainted whiteness,
all at once.
We told each other we weren’t self conscious,
and maybe it was true,
but even if it wasn’t, it didn’t matter.
I have never felt so beautiful and alive,
as I did the moment I paused in midair at the apex
with the rope strangled under my muddy fingers
and let go,
my naked body under the stars and the moon and the sky,
flying weightless
through the night.
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