Blade Maiden

Sep 2018

Brandon Conway

I watched as your webbed nest grew
In the branch of the front yard tree
A plague of squirming brood
Not that a web of a spidering

Yours was much too thick
As I braved a finger, fear quelled
Skipped on using a stick
Strong and sturdy she held

“Are these caterpillars?”
You asked, I replied
“I think they are.”

You asked for the destruction of civilization
“You need to cut these down.”

“I can’t, I been watching them grow,
Watching this web slowly take over.
Now I see on every tree
When I’m out driving
Their villages
Where they live
Feeding off the leaves
If these are so common
Why are butterflies so rare?”

You responded with no care
“They are ugly, I don’t like them.”

I watched the rest of that tree
Be consumed
I hope that plague
Becomes beautiful soon

#caterpillar #caterpillars #butterflies #butterfly #nature #beauty #trees #death #plague

Sep 2018

Brandon Conway

Mine Eyes of Calamity

Look into mine eyes
tell me what thou see

I see a prison, a soul
with hopes of escaping

I see padded walls
with a crazed man aching

I see deep sorrow
a human breaking

I see a gray sky
always raining

I see a husk of skin
eternally forsaking

I see a chasm
forever isolating

I see a mind
always creating
and hating
thy creation

I gazed upon thine eyes
and I saw hell in thy pupils

#sorrow #depression #depressed #soul #hell #aching #breaking #raining #forsaking #isolating

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I choose to burn

Sitting next to you
I felt like frozen fire
Nothing compares to how unaware
you felt, and how being with you was dire

Forgot how it felt to be someone
I burnt so much for no reason
You took it all away from me
to me your love was treason

I remember how you held me close
once you were my brightest light
you swore to protect me
for me you picked every fight

I know your life made you weary
and I felt for you, felt all the pain
I thought you needed me to forget
but admittedly you just weren't sane

I realized then that I had lost you long ago
It wasn't my responsibility
to save you from yourself
from lost dreams and your agony

This frozen fire got so cold
I burnt so much for no reason
I had to leave before my soul would have been sold
before entering the last cold season

And I know you beg for my return
and it pains me still to refuse
but your endless winter would never let me burn
and the fire is what I choose

#fire #frozen #realization #cold #winter #burn #choosing #leaving #relationship #love

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

Flowers for a spider

Is it wrong to feel
it all unfold
to want my tongue to peel
off the words that have been foretold
to let my chest burst open
feel the nectar of flowers all find their place within
My body's nothing more than a token
caught in darkness for far too long my lively swarm has been

And oh, the misery
I can't let them out
The only bliss, you see
is when the humming isn't so loud
But today my ears can't take the noise
my body aches, its been holding and breaking
I thought somewhere in all that buzzing I heard a voice
But I'm afraid I'm just anothers nest in the making

In my dreams I see my bees leaving
they all fly away
and I can't blame the spider for weaving
turning this hive into her own flowery array
Soon this place might as well be forgotten
for I know nothing about actual flowers
and they will all be rotten
and there over my lost mind an old tree towers

This tree will be my grave
I shall be buried alive
til something may save
the leftovers of my overgrown heart, this bee hive

#gloomy #empty #flowers #bee #hive #heart #lonely #forgotten #spider #grave

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

I wish to be in your dreams

You're trying to see
what it is she makes of thee
Flesh always burning
Bones always shaking
Head's always turning
to see many eyes waking

This bee hive heart is beating
dripping with golden excitement
watch wings stripping, flight of perceiving
she's reckless with incitement
Brain's buzzing
from all the lusting

What have you done
Lord of crimson?
Where do you want her to put all these dreams?
She's near, her slender feet walk on
Her newly sharpened tongue knows of no fears

Neither young nor old
either shy or bold
of this golden crowned goddess you shall behold
in your dreams she eats you whole,
that's what's been told

#dream #nightmare #lust #mythical #dark #otherworldly #hive #heart #lusting #goddess

Blade Maiden Sep 2018

My thoughts are scattered; I need a rope to tie them up

I'm guilty
I'm always guilty
it bugs me, won't leave me alone
"you're filthy, empty
only filled with things you collected
over there, in anothers life
you're all things neglected
hell, you're not worth the dive"

Shut up! Just be quiet.
Only once. Give me some bliss.
I am the one who decided
I'm fine with how it is.
Why can't you be my ally instead?
What is driving you so mad?

Yes, I feel pathetic.
Are you happy now?
Won't we make this sound more poetic?
The least we can do is put on a show.
Is this all I can do?
Always fighting this stupid me and you

I'm happy, can't you see?
My eyes cry out to make you believe.
I'm happy, I'm happy, I'm happy,
why don't you let me be?
A little bit futile,
in the eyes of my own judge
Quite a bit volatile,
and how it still all feels like a little bit too much

I know what I'm supposed to do
I know no stranger should feel like hope
I know I alone need to come through
I know there's no red rope
nothing that ties my floating pieces together
scattered for far too long,
underneath a bright and broken moon, forever
singing some beautiful and lonely song

Realization,
I recognize.
Acceptance,
I understand.
But I can't be changed.
I won't ever be changed.
Always feel estranged,
countless thoughts deranged
in the picture you see, so beautifully arranged.

#doubt #selfdoubt #pathetic #guilt #worth #happiness #acceptance #change #deranged #picture