written in the light of a trillion shining stars
lovely words that made me think of you

this feeling was there since the day I first saw you
and it stayed for quite a while
we were so in love, it was mad

but things happend and we lost each other
telling the people around us we haven't lost it all yet

it always was you who gave me this spark
this tiny little bit of happiness I craved for

our love found its way back
but I began to see the reasons why it never worked
the way he looked at her had changed

and maybe the look in his eyes was the reason
why I didn't stay in the first place.

teenagers dont live the life of regret

we get depressed and no one can help us
we get sad and we tell each other it will be over

the kids from yesterday will take adventage of you tomorrow
and to be honest I wouldn't even blame them
the living are all cursed and the dying are weak
there is no way out of this planet kid

god will be there listening to your sorrow
he will watch you make another sin tonight

you should stay close to yourself
because maybe that is the only important thing you can lose

he couldn't handle her, so she left to find someone who could.

trains are moving, birds are flying
and everytime she sees him
her soul is dying

my heart skips a beat
whenever you look me into my eyes
whenever you talk to me
or when she was just thinking
about him and his innocent soul

his love for her was brighter than the bluest sky.
the kind of blue that nobody could reject.

this boy had this special thing
he always had this smirk on his face
and a other look on things
his thoughts were deep
but his heart was afraid
he didnt want to lose this battle

their love story wasnt like the ones
in books, it wasnt like a fairytale
it wasnt like a happy story

but she was happy to call him hers

he was her home

don't say my name out loud
don't speak to me like you do

my love for you was pure
the most real thing I have ever felt
but you had the nerve to ***** me over
not even once not even twice

thanks to you I didnt wanted to breathe
my heart was dying and my soul was weak

the devil kept calling my name
and after a while, I gave in.

the lights went out and everything turned dark
the whisky and *** got me really drunk last night
or was it just the look in your eyes when you saw me
that hit me hard in the stomach, I was gone

weeks past by and I stopped thinking about him
months past by and he stopped seeing me around

but last night was like the old times
neck kisses and sweet words, laughter and cuddles
it felt like some things could never actually change

you dont know what you got till it's gone
but getting it back feels like the first time you get sober in the morning
amazing yet confusing it makes you happy yet sad

maybe it isn't meant to be
we cant see the future in the stars
I just wanted you to hold me last night
and you did.

her favorite story growing up was peter pan
because she wanted to be like him
she wanted to be fearless she wanted to be a leader
but more important she didn't want to grow up

her world was made of things that didn't exist
her mind was filled with thoughts that didn't belong there

it was never a struggle to be different
it was a fight to fit in.

Its 4 am the stars are out
words I didnt know existed were leaving my mouth

this boy appeared in my dreams
he showed me freedom and a little bit of danger
the words he spoke made me feel alive
when he touched me for the first time
I melted like snow when the sun is shining bright

black hair, darker than my soul
sparkling green eyes that could read my mind
curly hair and a golden smile

he was heartless but everyone has a heart
and I love him for being ashamed to show it

I fell in love with this boy but I dont even know his name
I wish we could hang our picture in a silver frame

oh strange boy that I have met in my dreams
please come into my life and make me believe
the world can be a good place

Home doesn’t have an address.
home has a beating heart and sweaty palms

please be mine.

I counted back from ten inside my head
whising you were still laying in my bed

She smiled at the stars like they knew all her darkest secrets
and all the hopeless kids on the street laughed at me
because deep down inside we all knew the universe didn't

Being reckless became a part of my life
somtimes my hair was navy blue and other days it was black
I loved the smell of danger and I liked being afraid

I wish we could start all over again
we would lay down together
surounded by pink flowers and a ***** mind

You could never keep your mouth shut
or say something positive

this boy hated the world and everyone in it
except for me

and thats why I felt like the most special person
in the world whenever I was near him.

love is for the living not for the ones with a dying soul on the inside.
love is for people who can give more than they can take.
true love is only for people with a pure soul and a golden heart.
I guess love isnt a thing for me.

a voice is for the broken ones.
talent for writing is for the lonely ones.
seeing things that arent there is for the people with an open mind.
being able to speak with the death is for the childeren who are already dying.
I guess this is more a thing for me.

we are living in a world where it is important to speak up about your problems.
you need to tell people the things you are dealing with.
but I cant do that without being judged or get called names.
Im not complaining about my hard life. Im not seeking for attention.
that is why I keep my mouth shut about everything that is going on in my head at the moment.

writing is my escape and distracting of the thing Im really wanting to do at this moment of being alone in my room thinking about why are we living on this earth.
thinking about if there really is a god? and if so.. why Im suffering everyday dying inside.

I want him to take me home, but he keeps telling me that isnt an option.
he says I dont understand the reason why Im here yet.
he cuts the conversation off but every night I will try again to get inside his head.
I need the answers.

dont you wish you were not here anymore.
only thing that will remain is bones, bones of stolen diamond.
tears falling down on my mothers knees, wanting me to come back.
but ones you begin there is no way back and we all know that.
there is a hell I have seen it, there is a hell let's keep it a secret.

Im willing to make a change in my life at this moment.
Im just waiting for my demon to come back so I can talk with him about this.
He wants me to cry he wants to see my blood,
He needs it tonight, my blood is what keeps him alive and I dont want him to go.
maybe this is just my sick mind writing.

Demons can make my hell feel like home and I never want to leave it.
being called sick is for the hopeless I am only broken.

I might get a bit drunker when I am around you.
drinking away the shame and nerves is what I am made of these days.
more ***** than water in my blood.

I woke up this morning looking at the sun, being greatfull for living.
sometimes Im thinking about never going home again, but I aint leaving you.
my ego always was bigger than my heart. but that didnt stop me from loving you.

putting your favorite song on repeat is like drowing in your favorite drink.
after a while the taste is gone and it makes you want to jump of a bridge.
doing things you would have never done in real life, but it made you feel alive.

its really not that bad keeping your life a secret.

I love it when you smile, I love it when you don't
I like the way you look at me even if you won't

the sky was turning another shade of blue that night
the kind of color that would remind me of your eyes

for me it was a big deal that you left me without telling
for you it was natural like drinking coffee in the morning
or rain that fell down once in a while on the new car you bought

I just wished you missed me like I miss you
he stole her heart with she couldn't get to his.

I crave a love so deep the ocean would be jealous.
I loved the stars so fondly even the moon looked back at me.
The truth is I dont need someone in my life to tell me that I am special, god told me I am.
He wants me to give love and all I get back for that is tears on my face and scars on my body.

Its not complicated to be the girl nobody truely cared about.
You may be miles away but my demons aren't.
They would never mistreat me and mistake my tears for a smile.
The prove of being ugly isnt a sign of the stars, it comes from the heart.

I have cried a lot of tears knowing nobody would cry for me.
So maybe this time it is good to be alone in the dark.
Try to pull yourself out this time and make a promise not to tell a single soul
about our little secret. Not that someone would really care.
They see your outside not knowing what is going on, on the inside.
I can't drown my demons they know how to swim. They will catch me sleeping.

I was the girl who never was afraid of anything in the world. They called me fearless.
I always was a good actress, being the lovely and popular girl never was a hard role.
Being a dissapointment is another thing. My life is fail wasted with a bottle of *****.
My life isn't going up because my thoughts are falling down and wanting to be dead,
never was this of big deal this year. I am scared to get close and I hate being alone.
I long for that feeling to not feel at all. I never was good with my emotions anyway.

The blades make me feel comfortable and the cuts make me feel like an outcast.
I always knew I was different from my friends, they never called me this but deep down
inside I knew I was the ******, the outsider and nobody really did like me.

When people want something from you they will do anything to get that thing.
Even if it is just to get their needs, yes I am talking about man.
Being a doll in one of this stupid games always was my biggest struggle.
I am a believer in love, knowing I will never get it. because nobody really cares.

The blood makes me feel alive. It reminds me that I am not dying. not yet.

I always wonderd what heaven looks like, even though I am going to hell.
Being a good person is the hardest thing I am dealing with in my life.
May god forgive me for the things I have done and for the things I am going to do.

My head is going to explode soon.
Tell Satan I said hello.

the road back
to everything I have ever left behind

something that would keep me save from myself.
a person that would love me for all I ever was.
the girl with the bright smile was allready dead before you met her.

a bottle of ***** was what tasted like love.
feeling nothing was what made her feel alive.

thoughts are dark just like the crings underneath my eyes.
an another beautiful young soul is turning into dust tonight.