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Aditi Mar 2015
You are the only antidote to the pain you caused
But like everything that could save me
You just ended up tearing me out
And i was hoping you would come
before there was nothing left to fix
And you came
but i was already gone
now this shell of the girl i used to be
remains to remind you of what you have lost

You were the only escape i had to these tragedies
that laid scattered all around me
but like everything that could have helped me
you were a bit too out of my reach
And i was hoping you'd take a step to bridge the gap
maybe you did
but it was a bit too late
i was already in too deep
to ever surface again

You had the touch that could keep me from falling
a million suns in your soul that could unfreeze me
but like every hope, you chose to forsake me
And i kept hoping and praying you'd see
how The cold kept burning the life out of me
maybe you would have, maybe you did
but life had already left me
never to come to me
again
You were the one
i would write these poems for
but unlike every person who got impressed
you were still left untouched and cold
:'(
Aditi Mar 2015
Effortless it used to be,
now it's a constant strain
You used to be on the same page with me
now i wonder if we are even a part of the same story?

How rude of days and nights to pass completely oblivious of our pain
How audacious of me to think it was you who the stars  told me about


Closest you used to be,
now there is always an unseen barrier in between
I used to be your home once
But now I'm just a noose you cant free yourself from

How rude of me to say "it's been a tough day" for a year now
How thoughtful of you to pretend it's not because of the sweet nothings you have been feeding me


A day dream turned to reality, you were
Now i realised some things can only be loved from a far
I used to wish your hands never leave mine
But now i just wish you happiness, no matter who you choose to share it with

**How rude of stars to be so out of my reach
How tragic of our story that they are closer to me than you'll ever be.
.....But i can't stop loving you
Aditi Sep 2014
You called me your guiding star
That's quite true.
I burnt myself
and risked my whole existence
Just to light you way
For a few second

You called me your anchor
That's quite true
I sunk myself
To keep you at one place

You compared me with the moon
I get it now why
I scarred myself for life
just to be noticed,
To stand out
from the darkness
all around me

I gave you my all,
'cause i thought i could be your all
I tried to fix you
ignoring how in the process
I almost bled myself to death
I swallowed shards of glass
and yet never let my smile falter
I Wiped Your Tears
While Mine Were Left Abandoned
To Dry On Their Own

I tried healing your wounds
while mine got deeper

And I swear
I tried my best
To spare our friendship
Losing my love was bad enough
but my best friend too?
How on Earth
was i supposed to get through this

So,
I stayed
Put on my daily show
but you knew me
too well to fall for that facade
And that's whAT hurt most
the warmth in your eyes
that once felt like home
sheltering me from world's cold ways
was now gone
replaced
replaced by this coldness


Your skin
was the only home i ever knew
but i realized,
i was not welcome any more*
And I relized that
that hardest way possible
yet i stayed
'cause i just could not leave
I did not know how to leave
I loved you so frigging much
and everything just kept getting worse
YOU WERE NO LONGER THE SUN
but a blackhole
swallowing all the good memories
devouring them all
till there was not a trace of light
inside me
till there was nothing left to me
till i became the ghost
of the girl who i used to be
And all those good days
they seem like a distant dream
and i don't even know if what i'm writing
makes any sense
my hands won't stop shaking
or my head shouting
it keeps yelling
YOU NEVER FELL FOR ME
YOU SLIPPED
UNKNOWINGLY
A MISTAKE'YOU REGRET EVERY DAY
Not for anyone in particular. Wrote it way back while i was high on sadness and heartbreaks all around
Aditi May 2015
I have let you in
Every time you asked me to
I have held your hand
Every time you were about to fall
I think I had the right
To call you my safe haven
But today when my feet ran
out of the ground
Your arms were too occupied
to catch me

I wished I could give you the world
But I already gave you everything
that was mine
And all these words I say
Mean nothing to you
They melt and dissolve
I no longer want to look
Maybe they will find lips
Of someone new
Who might appreciate the love
You could never see in them

I have burnt myself
To give you warmth
I have fought the world
To get a minute with you alone
I have fallen from grace
Just because you asked me to
I probably would do it again
Without ever blinking twice
So why is it when I want the same
Your pace falters

Why you can't do with effort
What I did out of love;
So effortlessly
Where is your love
When I need you to show it
Why am I only sought
When you have got nobody
And even though I know we no longer
Are a thing officially
I wonder where did all your love get buried
Aditi Apr 2015
The brown of your eyes
Became my favorite shade
A familiar place
But I'm no longer the one they behold
So goodbye to them

Those pink lips that you have got
Perfectly shaped
Complimenting your light skin so well
But I'm no longer the name they seek
So goodbye to them

The heart beats fluttering so fast
Sweet lullaby
Keeping the nightmares away
But I'm no longer the sight they dance at
So goodbye to them

The long fingers of your hand
Intertwined with mine
Made the strangers stares seem less hostile
But I'm no longer the person they reach out to
So goodbye to them

The warm smiles of yours
Imprinted on my mind
Spreading across my face
But I'm no longer the reason behind it
So good bye to them



I wish
We had met up in sky
Far from the boundaries of this world
I would be yours, you would be mine
Our shadows merging into one

But

Now I have learnt
There is a bridge too large,
A boundary too long
For either of us to bridge
So I'll love you from a far

With an intensity of
Million burning stars
Much more than she is ever capable of
But nothing can change the fact
I'll never be with you.
I have been writing poems under #you series and this will be my last poem. {I have yet to write few poems but I guess... now I'll do a countdown like you#23 then you#22 cause that is how a person leaves us.. in bits. till he is gone forever.. a memory left to rust.
Aditi Apr 2015
2 am
Knows all about us-
The love that was once lost
And how we found it
Just to lose it all over again.

I wonder what people think
When they read my poems
Do they think I'm just another
Case of unrequited love?
Oh, I am definitely not.

I just read this story
Of a girl who loved a guy so much
She turned into a bird
And sang such sad songs
The guy's bride heart broke and she died

2am
Knows all about my conspirational plans
I make with the stars
How what should be mine, what I love
I mean to ****** away from this world

This is
Not a poem about unrequited love
But distance
And the society that smirks upon
The lovers sighing in solitude

I just read this story
About this girl
How she loved a guy
Who did not love her back and
how that killed her bit by bit every moment

2m knows
How I wish I was in her situation
I could have loved him
And loved him and loved him
until I did not

But the guy I love
Is right now crying himself to sleep
Because he finally found love
But not where he expected it to be
Miles away, away from his reach

His love is true, her love is ever growing
But like every star crossed lovers
They have an inevitable tragic ending
But there is so much art in
an ending like this

2am
knows how the empty side of my bed whispers his name
"Close your eyes darling, in your dreams
I'll always be yours, forever and more"
I wrote this a while back.

this one is for the long distance relationships and all the star crossed lovers.

I'll support each one of you as long as your love is true.
Aditi Sep 2014
I would rather suffocate and drown in my mind than ask for your help
I would rather swallow shards of glass than keep up with this silence
I would rather spend my night counting stars than have a dream about you
I would rather cut my skin off than feel your touch burn them while you love someone else
I would rather have my tongue forget how to speak than call for you every single night in my sleep
I would rather bleach my brain with HCL than have it think about you always
I would rather burn down this house and lose myself somewhere than try looking for you
I would rather drown the butterflies in my stomach with alcohol than have them fluttering, dancing on your tone
(But truth be said, i would rather spend a second with you and a lifetime reminiscing that moment than be with someone else)

I'll bleed till I've no more of you inside me
I'll smoke you till I've exhaled all of your empty words that i was fed
I'll cry till i don't know what i was crying for
*I'll write till I give you something that weighs you down
just like how your goodbye weighs my heart down
It's not good, is it?
Aditi Oct 2014
You
Either leave
Or
Stay long enough
To
See "him" turn into
A stranger.

Oh,
boy,
I guess
I looked into your
Soul
For too long
To ever go
Back to being
"Just friends"


You
Either leave
Or
Stay long enough
To feel
Yourself fading
from "his"thoughts
Just like how
Dews evaporate
Once they see
The sun.

Oh,
Boy,
I was nothing
But a voice in your head.
And now that I've been replaced,
I wonder how long
Till i cease to be


You
either leave
Or
Stay too long
To witness
his eyes go blank
To watch him
See right through you.

Oh
Boy,
You were long gone
Even when you were
holding my hand
I knew you were
Wandering far away


You
Either leave
Or
stay long enough
To
Watch him leave.*

Oh,
Boy,
But I'm
Still holding on to you
Long after
You have let go.*

[Nothing good stays. I could never leave, so i guess that makes sense]
A random poem. Been so long since i posted. I hope you guys enjoy
Aditi Nov 2014
If this was a bollywood movie
You'd wait for me
And my road would lead me to yours
Eventually.

If this was a bollywood movie
We would have made silent promises
It's either us
Or we are forever on our own

If this was a bollywood movie
My poems would not remain unread
If this was a bollywood movie
Our story would not end like that

If this was a bollywood movie
You would shift the world
Just to see me.
If this was a bollywood movie
You would lift me off my feet
And not simply ....
Go and beg another girl
To love you.


But
This is not a bollywood movie
Just a sad poem
That will never be finished
Cause the poet
Found a better
Subject to muse over.
You never loved me
Aditi Nov 2014
I gave away
Too much of me
To make room for
Too much of you
I wish i had not

I never put you
on the top
of my list
But said goodbye to everyone else
{It was you and only you}
I wish i had not

I bribed the sun
To let you shine the brightest
And the moon
To never let you
Go astray
I wish i had not

I murmured your name to the wind
And told all of my friends about you
Now,
The wind still whispers your name
My friends look at me with eyes askance. So
I wish i had not

You mesmerized me
With your words
I ended up believing all of them.
Oh, how
I wish i had not.
Truth be told, i wish none of them.. i just wish you had never left
Aditi Nov 2014
I'm here alone, in my room
And the never decreasing miles
That separate us Falter on the floor
Everytime i close my eyes
It is only your face i see

I guess i always knew
The inevitability of our situation
A dawn chasing midnight
No way on earth we could have had a happy end


It was a privilege knowing you
And having my feet swept off the ground
I was too busy wondering why you loved me
To say i love you in return
But i guess you know i did

Im here alone in my room
but you are in everything i see
you are scattered everywhere
yet your absence is all i feel
too many dreams of you and no you to wake up to.

*I guess i always knew
the inevitability of our situation
dawn chasing midnight
no way on earth we could have had a happy end
I guess when you truly love someone,  it is always there with you.. they are truly with you.

He becomes a part of you.. and when you miss him, you are just trying to keep a part of you alive and when you don't.. that part of you is gone. And lost.
Aditi Jun 2017
I find the glass to be half empty,
He finds the glass half filled,
It's the same thing,
Except it is not literally,

Each one of us forgets, conveniently
That the glass can be refilled
Just as easily as it can be drained empty

And it's up to us
But we are too busy clanking the empty glasses together
Till they shatter,
Or, try to drown ourselves,
When they overflow.


I take a step in,
He repeats,
We both try to co exist in a way,
That neither of us are actually leaning,
Both trying to be friends,
With strangers' acceptance of how one is
I like to chatter, he wears a cloak of silence,
Except there's not much difference between either.

And it's up to us,
But we are too busy screaming to override the unwelcome words,
Or try to dance our imagination on the tune of silence,
Away from the cruel intentions, camouflaged with soft words
Except there's not much difference between either,
We both are shaped by our hurt, and undone by happiness.

I find the life to be a continuation of misery,
Add in some whining and self deprecating poems
Different faces, worn by the same ghosts
Different paths, same dead ends
Pursuit of ever evasive happiness,
Life is never changing.
You think every thing changes,
It's just me who is always going to look the same
To you at least

And it's up to us,
Whether we remain the same or not,
To grow up and grow apart,
Or to Shrink in and fade away
Except I look around,
And I know for you, it's always me
And you look back
And know I'm the one who has always been there

I find the glass half empty,
You find it half filled,
It's the same thing
Except it's not literally.
Aditi May 2015
It is hard to see,
To tell myself,
You still are the guy
Who made my world better
Just by existing in it
One look at me, and
you would know
The exact words to say

I can tell it by your ways
That you find it hard to remember
The reasons why your
reasonings were swept away
And I became
The only exception,
The one to hold
The key to your heart

See,
Now I'm holding this white flag
I'm putting my weapons down
Can you see
The girl you used to be in love with?
Because I can see it clearly
You still are that guy
I would love to get lost with

Tell me,
How did things go so wrong
You won't even look at me
Without feeling a shame
I used to be your grace
What happened?

I'm sorry for all those times
I shoved you away
With those rude words
I put our relationship on a display
But I did not know any better way
To stop myself from loving you

So my mind had to do
Everything in its power
To keep a leash on my heart
Which kept crawling back to you

And in the process
I lost my best friend
I want it back
Will you let him
Come to me?
I miss him, so badly

I hope by now you have noticed
This world is far too cruel
Masks and treachery at every step
And I can't help but reminisce
about the good times
We were each other's safe haven

Our paths crossed,
Then we separated
And I was too bitter
Because you were the only thing
I wanted so badly to stay

I see it now,
So better and clearly
We still are the people
We fell in love with
Even though,
There is no romantic love here anymore
I hope,
For ever and more
We will be each other's best friend
I still love you. But I can't let that get in between us. Not anymore. Tigger And Pooh. Forever And More
Aditi Jun 2015
You don't know about
the no. Of times
I have sought you
In my dreams,
My face buried
Against the crook of your neck
Only to find
The place next to me empty
I guess this bed
was never meant for two



You don't know
about the no. Of times
I stop my legs
from steering in your direction
But there is little I can do
about my eyes
Which follow you through the crowd
So perfectly
I guess you are the only view
they enjoy to see


You don't know
about the no. Of times
I bite my tongue
To stop them from murmuring
I love you
When that is all my lips want to do
Other than to feel
the softness of yours
Pressed against mine
I guess some lips are meant to go dry

You don't know
about the no. Of times
My mind weaves these
Difference scenarios
With only one ending
Of me in your arms,
One day you'll just be
A fragment of my imagination
I guess some wishes intensify
If they  are kept unfulfilled


You don't know
about the no of times*
Half of my heart
reaches out for you
While the other half
holds on to its pride
Tearing me into two
I guess some hearts
never make up
their minds*

-
A.K
don't you dare say you know how it feels, you know nothing, *makes a peace sign*
Aditi Dec 2013
I found God
On the corner of First and Amistad
Where the west
Was all but won
All alone
Smoking his last cigarette
I said, "Where you been?"
He said, "Ask anything".


Where were you
When everything was falling apart?
All my days
Were spent by the telephone
That never rang
And all I needed was a call
That never came
To the corner of First and Amistad


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me


In the end
Everyone ends up alone
Losing her
The only one who's ever known
Who I am
Who I'm not, who I wanna be
No way to know
How long she will be next to me


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me


Early morning
The city breaks
I've been callin'
For years and years and years and years
And you never left me no messages
Ya never send me no letters
You got some kinda nerve
Taking all I want


Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Where were you? Where were you?
Lost and insecure
You found me, you found me
Lyin' on the floor
Surrounded, surrounded
Why'd you have to wait?
Where were you? Where were you?
Just a little late
You found me, you found me
Why'd you have to wait?
To find me, to find me
Aditi Jan 2019
I bleed in silence, in
Abandoned cathedrals,
Monasteries, and holy Shrines.
I have looked for you,
Begged the grand idols,
Visited crumbling walls
Of burnt out cities,
And antiquities -
All the places they told me
You had been.


My eyes see red
But I'm blue,
And there's a bruise
On my knee-
A blend of both.
My lips no longer move in prayers
My eyes have no tales to tell-
But my poems scream
And I live - on a middle ground
Between the two
-a whimper on nights,
A sad smile during days.

You're not coming for the rescue, are you?


I ache and long, now
More than I can love
But for what? Is it you?
I never could commit suicide,
But I killed myself, every moment,
nonetheless,
Till I heard the rhythm of that heavenly call
In your footsteps
And how you filled even the silences between us
With grace
And I was seen, and I could see
And I was loved with a love
That I could accept.

If our love had two colors,
It'd be red and blue
Like any God,
You came with your own set of rules.
Passionate red, that you brought
And the blues that I always carry
Red and blue icy veins -
With the same emotions flowing through.
But you were taken away too.
And now I'm neither red, nor blue
But despondent brown
The color of the dirt, the only thing
Separating me and you.

You're not coming back, are you?


I walk on,
I don't rest and I don't sleep.
How can there be a God if there's no justice?
And the moon is not blue with sadness;
Nor does it cry with me.
And the stars are just as oblivious and distant.
And the sun, well, it never bothered
to shine on any of us.
I see a world now, as it is,
Stripped of meaning
and all its metaphorical use.


If I could be colored,
I'd choose red and blue-
Burning bright
with a frigid determination.
To save the soul,
Sometimes you must
destroy its vessel
And when a world dies, its gods must die along.


None of you came, so I had to come to you.

— The End —