noong una kitang nasilayan
inaamin kong hindi ikaw ang nais kong kamtan
ngunit habang tumatagal,
puso ko’t loob, sayo’y natuluyan

hindi ko rin alam kung bakit
dahil ba sa boses **** nakakahumaling?
o sa mga matatamis **** mga ngiti?
mistulang nawawala ang iyong mga mata
sa tuwing ito’y iyong gawin
di ko alam, pero simpleng titig mo lamang
ka’y laki na ng epekto nito sa akin
hanggang sa palagi na kitang hinahanap-hanap
aba’t ginayuma mo nga ba ako?

ngunit, kung ano't saya ang nadarama
ganoon din ang kapalit nito kapag nandyan ka
sa mga panahon na wala ka sa tabi
pasakit at dalilubho ang naranas
bakit ba hindi ko kayang sayo ay mawalay?
ngunit kailangan kong magtimpi at alamin
kung hanggang saan lang dapat ang hangarin

ngunit aking nagunita,
ikaw talaga ang natatangi sa puso, at tuwina
ngunit kung gusto ko ring makaalpas sa sakit
kailangan ika’y kalimutan
sa gayon ay baka matagpuan ang kalinaw

pero ang alaala ng kahapon ay sadyang bumalik
kahit saan man magpunta, ika’y naka-aligid
kung alam mo lang ang aking tinahak
pagod, at hirap – naranas upang sayo’y makalapit

ngunit ano ba pa ang magagawa?
sa una pa lang, nagmahal ng isang tala
at kung bigyan man ng pagkakataon
mas pipiliing sarili ay ibaon
lahat ng nararamdaman
na hindi mo rin kayang ipaglaban

dahil hindi mo rin naman ako mahal,
mas mahal mo ang iyong pangarap
at hindi ako yun, ito'y tanggap

sakim man sa kanilang paningin
ikaw lang naman ang gusto ko
ngunit, bakit? bakit…
ipinagkait pa sa akin ng mundo?
pero ito ang nagpapatunay
na kahit gaano pa ako kailangan na maghintay
para sayo'y hindi ako nararapat
dahil tunay nga ba ang aking intensyon?
o ginagawa lamang kitang desisyon?
tingnan mo nga, miski ako may pagdududa

kahit man ito’y pag-ibig natin ay isusugal
kahit gaano ko pa ipagsamo sa Maykapal
wala rin naman itong mahahantungan
hindi rin naman ako ang iyong kailangan

kaya't ito'y hahayaang dalhin ng langit,
kung saan mang lupalop ito'y dalhin
pinaubaya sa Maykapal,
antayin na lang maglaho
ito ang aking huling habilin,
bago kitang tuluyang iwan

pero ito'y mananatiling nakaukit
sa puso't isipan,
dahil kaya nga ba kitang kalimutan?

ito’y magsisilbing alaala
ng minsan nating pagsasama,
kahit sa panaginip lamang

ang ipagtagpo ang isang ikaw at ako,
ang mabuo ang salitang 'tayo' –
napaka-imposible…
napaka-imposible.

eng trans:
when I first saw you
I admit you're not the one I yearn for
but as time passes by
my heart, and mind – fell for you

I don't really know why
is it because of your alluring voice?
or because of your sweet smiles?
it's as if your eyes disappear
whenever you do this
I don't know but in your simple stares
it has a big impact on me
until I'm always looking for you
oh my, did you put a spell on me?

but in what happiness I felt
that's what I also feel whenever you're there
in times that you're not beside me
pain and dreading was experienced
why can't I stand being apart from you?
but I have to resist and know
to where I should stand in line

yet I've realized
you're the one that's always in my heart
but if I want to get rid of this pain
I have to forget you
by then I might find peace

but the memories of yesterday kept coming back
everywhere I go, you're there
if only you knew what I've been through
exhaustion, and rigor – I have to face to get close to you

but what can I do?
from the start, I've loved a star
and if given a chance
I'd rather choose to bury myself,
all these feelings
that you're not even willing to fight for

because you don't even love me,
you love your dream more
and it's not me, I've accepted it

it may be selfish in their eyes
you're the only one I want
yet, why? why...
did the world denied + you from me?
but this just proves
that no matter how long I have to wait
I'm not the one for you
because is my intention real?
or am I just making you a decision?
see? even I have doubts

even if I gamble this love of ours
even if I plea from the Creator
this will just go nowhere ++
I am not the one you need

that's why I'll just let the sky take this
wherever in the heavens this will be held
let the Creator take charge
I'll just wait for it to fade
this is my last will
before I will leave you

but this will remain etched
in my mind, and heart
because can I truly forget you?

this will serve as a memory,
of our once encounter
even if it's just in a dream

for you and me to meet,
to form the word 'us' –
it's so impossible,
**it's impossible

The sound of the pouring rain from the roof woke me up.

I got myself a chair in the patio of our house. I sat there comfortably, sitting in silence for a good whole minute.

I closed my eyes, letting the sound of the pouring rain immerse into me. Imagining myself getting soaked, as if I really am in the middle of the pouring rain, drenched, and laughing carefree in the distance.

"Being outside is nice huh?" I heard a pleasant voice behind me. I let my eyes stay closed for a moment, letting the cold wind meet my face to wake me up. I also welcomed his words, nodding at him with acknowledgement. I was then met with a chocolatey steam; he prepared us two cups of hot cocoa.

"Figured you're a bit cold." His voice sounded raspy, sleepiness still evident in his tone. I turn to him as he got himself another chair close to mine. He looks up a bit, seeping the rain onto his porcelain-like skin. He doesn't go out that much to get some sunshine as to why.

I hummed absentmindedly, warming up to his presence. There was a small smile across his lips, his eyes warmer than the hot drinks he have at hand.

I mirrored his smile, getting my cup from him.

"I kinda like the cold feeling but I wouldn't want to waste your effort." A chuckle escaped my lips, and his crescent-like smile appeared before me.

He drank from his cup as I sipped on mine, letting the vibe from around me flood my senses.

I love these little instances he would think of me. Slipping a thought into his tasks, gestures that show that he does take effort in remembering things I love. Like how I prefer hot chocolate over tea in rainy days, and how I love seeing his smile on early mornings. Even as he loathes waking up and moving off the bed so early. Oh how I love this man before me.

And we sat there in silence, side by side, letting the sky pour out its rain. Our cups at hand, the aroma of the cocoa steam over our senses, full to little to none, with the cold wind howling a bit in the distance.

This went on for an hour or so; I still couldn’t wrap around the idea of how much I love these instances. I had always found comfort in him between our silences and exchanges of glances. Just in him in general; he’s my blanket, my safety— the personification of home. My umbrella; my shade to my blazing sunny days and cover to cold rainy days. I looked over his broad figure from the back, I sigh in contentment.

And as if he heard the drizzle in my heart, he gave me a faint smile; a radiance just enough to soften the hues all around us. But just enough that he stands out amongst the drizzling rain over the sunlight peeking through the clouds.

I could see the raindrops wash over the dewiness of his skin, and it looks like it's starting to show signs of stopping. But I just want to stay, stay out here a bit longer.

bakit ba pinagpipilitan ko pa ring ipaitindi sa iba?
hindi rin naman nila talaga alam
sa paningin nila, napakababaw, napakataas naman ng pangarap ko
isipin mo, ako? isang simpleng babae, minamahal kang isang lalaking maraming nakaaligid? na pawa bang isa kang nilalang na taga-ibang planeta
alam kong minsan ka na rin nakaramdam ng pagiging ordinaryo
pero sadyang ka'y layo mo na ngayon, iba ang takbo ng mundo mo
minsan inaamin kong nakakahiya, na ipagsigawan 'tong pagmamahal ko sayo
pero dahil sa iniisip kong hindi nila naiitindihan
at di kailanman na maiitindihan
itong nilalaman ng puso ko ay ikaw
sinasabi nito na mahal kita
na mahal na mahal kita
kahit di ko magawang ika'y lapitan
dahil paano mo nga ba mamahalin ang isang taong napakalayo sayo?
pero patuloy ko pa ring iniisip na mahal na mahal kita
inuulit ulit kong sabihin ito
kahit na alam kong di mo rin naman din ako maiitindihan
oo, alam **** mahal kita
pero hindi, mas higit pa sa iniisip mo
gusto kita
gusto kita, gusto kong mapalapit sayo
na mapasaakin ka
yung gaanong kagustuhan mo sa isang tao alam kong di kailanman kayang ibalik ang nararamdaman ko
pero bakit ko pa rin ba ito pinagpapatuloy
kung alam ko rin naman na wala tong mahahantungan
napakasakit man isipin na hindi ka pwedeng mapasa akin
gusto kong may makiramdam sa akin
pero hindi nga nila maitindihan
ikaw ang gusto ko
pero napakasakit na mahalin ka
bakit ba kasi ikaw pa?
mahal na mahal kita
gusto kong ipaalam sa'yo
pero paano nga ba?
kung sa una pa lang
hindi mo ako maiitindihan
ang tanging naiitindihan ko lang
kahit napakasakit man tanggapin
napakasakit man para sa'kin
pero eto ang realidad
na alam kong mahal mo rin ako
mahal mo rin naman ako
pero bilang isang tagahanga mo lamang

eng trans:
why am I even forcing others to understand?
they don't even know
in their eyes, it's so dense, I have dreams way too high
think about it, me? a simple girl, loving someone like you who's surrounded and looked upon to? as if you're a being from another planet
I know that you once felt what it's like to be ordinary
but you're just way too far from my grasp now, your world runs differently
I admit that it's embarrassing, to shout out this love of mine for you
but mostly because I think that they don't understand
and won't ever understand
that you are the one kept in my heart
it tells that I love you
that I love you so much
even if I can't even get near you
because how can you even love someone that's so far from your reach
but I kept on thinking that I love you so much
I will keep on repeating this
even if I know you won't even understand
yes, you know that I love you
but no, it's much more than what you think
I want you
I want you, I want to get close to you
for you to be mine
that kind of desire for someone you know won't ever reciprocate your feelings
but why do I even continue this?
if I know this would get on nowhere
it pains me to think that you won't ever be mine
I want someone to empathize with me
but they just don't understand
you're the one I want
but it hurts to love you
why does it have to be you?
I love you so much
I want you to know
but how?
if from the start
you don't understand me
the only thing I understand
even if it hurts to accept it
even if it hurts for me
that I know that you love me too
'you love me too'
*but only as your admirer

matagal ko na rin 'tong iniisip
hangga't maaga pa, ako'y bibitaw na
dahil alam ko una pa lang
sa huli ako'y masasaktan

masakit man para sa akin
pero bakit ba hindi ko kayang tanggapin?
na ako at ako lamang ang nagmamahal
na ako lamang ang maghihintay ng ka'y tagal

alam kong dapat hindi ko 'to iisipin
dapat wala na akong dapat hangarin
na higit pa sa dapat kong damdamin
dahil kahit kailanman
alam kong hindi mo ito maibabalik

pilit man kitang layuan
ako yung mas nahihirapan
bakit ba ganyan ang iyong mga titig?
lalo tuloy akong nasasabik...

bakit nga ba hindi ka pwedeng maging akin?

eng trans:
I've been thinking about this for a while
As soon as possible, I should let go
Cause from the start, I know
I'll get hurt in the end

It hurts for my part
but why can't I accept it?
that it is me, and only me that keeps on loving you
that it is only me that will have to wait for too long

I know I shouldn't be thinking of this
I shouldn't even yearn for more
for something greater than I should feel
Because I know that you'll never return it

I tried to keep my distance
But it is me that's suffering
Why are your stares like that?
I'm getting more eager...

**why isn't it possible for you to be mine?

I believe we once met
in a faraway land,
on a different epoch,
and only your name resounds
recalling us back to this time
'I recognized your soul at first glance'
Oh hear the sound of the wind
the echoes are the only ones
that transcribe the beats of our hearts
retracing us back to epiphany
that we were once in love
in a different place in time
'we are etched into each other's entity'

— I miss you each and everyday

Should I give up
on a chance that cannot be
To our story
that never even began
Am I just being petty?
We have not even started yet
Did I just leave the pages unset?
It’s just starting to unfold
Or have I really loss it? I believe
We haven't even given a chance
To our story that only has a page

I want you to leave traces of me
shot across the galaxies
scatter my star dust with your words

when we see each other
comfort me with a hello
set me off with a kiss
sing me a song of love
before I let your heart
beat to it

look for me in every person
you have come across with a heartbeat
long for something
that haven’t even touched your lips
please wait for me
as we make way for destiny
hope you and I make this a reality

—please come look for me

If only I could whisper
All the things I want to convey
All the feelings I kept
In my fragile heart
All the love I have for you

I would want to tell
the whole world
how much you mean to me
how much of a beautiful human being you are
But I’d rather keep quiet
and tell it all to you
Besides, you’re already my world

Though I could only pray at night
when it gets dark
But your thoughts, they comfort me
and your voice lessens
the creeping voices in my head

Oh, I could only sound asleep
Every night
Wishing that you knew
In the midst of silence
It is you whom I want to fill it with

You keep me up with thoughts of you
like any other nights
When I think of how your eyes
would wrinkle up to the sides of your face
as you let out a genuine smile

With my fingers evident with smudged lead,
and words flow on paper
of how ethereally beautiful you are

How your existence would surpass tenfold
the radiance of the passing cars
of the busy midnight streets

Oh I just wish to spend a night awake in your arms,
with my fingers in between yours
under the covers of my sheets
The bed doesn't make me want to sleep

They couldn't give me comfort
unlike your smile
that can bring the sun rays to shame
You could not compare to thousand starlights

Your eyes surrender to sleep
And your feeble yawn—
Let us call it the night

stuck in the same place
over and over
I'm growing tired
faded, to look at the other end
A non-existent thread,
to yours— bled red
something I put up tying to mine
to yours— an invisible line

For once I am lost for words,
hollow, empty of a shell with no home
as we are living in different worlds
I will never see you by the doorstep

We're like two matchsticks
you used to burn up my flames
my eyes lit up looking at you—
burning with passion
wasting no gasoline,
my heart you filled up the brim
— now it's a heart burnout

I used to hold on
and vision it clearly up ahead
with you holding my tired hand
with me looking up to smile
my heart used to race a thousand mile
how is it now this came too soon?
now it's just faded
a scene that's white noise filled
you're fading to black quickly

For once I don't see you
standing on the other side
I've held loose of the rope

I'm no longer scared
or anxious
of what we will come about
A future without you
with these feelings wavering—
How come I vision this clearly?

A story with no ‘we’—
An ending page
and from the beginning
that's where
we're supposed to stand in line

Are you somewhere sleeping, or wide awake?
Please look up the night sky
think of how I— someone is occupied
by the thoughts of your sharp eyes
Be as is with the dim lights the stars are bringing

These summer nights never seem to play
the cold melody of the air
I am used to hearing
as I let my heart resound your name
Here I call, waiting for the echoes;
any signs from you— where are you now?

My dear, do not fret
You’re the only one I find endearing
Please pass on your worries onto me,
pour out your thoughts
until you’re left with none
Let me seep onto your skin,
play with the soft strands of your hair
Let me whisper you comfort
until the buzzing of the tiring white noise
after a long day from your ears reside

Darling, you are no less than any stars
laid onto the deep velvet sky,
Don't think otherwise
as you’re worth palaces
above the clouds up high

Do not listen to the shadows that tell lies,
just breathe onto me,
let me comfort you with smiles

Until then at least look for me in your dreams
If you’re needing comfort,
or just in need of a shoulder to rest
You can always lean on me

sadyang ka'y layo mo na para abutin
pero nandito pa rin ako
nananatiling manalangin
Bathala, hanggang dito na lang ba
ang aming istoryang
di pa nagsisimula
maari mo bang pakinggan
ang tanging dalangin?
sana'y pagbigyan mo lamang
masilayan ang kanyang mga ngiti,
kahit di na ang pagdampi ng labi,
ako'y di na muli mananalig

eng trans:
you're just too far
from the grasp now
but I am still here
still here wishing— praying
Creator, is this really how it is
for the two of us; our story
that haven't even began
can you please hear
my only wish?
may you let me just this time
get a glimpse of his smile
even not for the press
of the lips anymore—
*I won't ever wish no more

'You are my star, but we all reach that point in life that we no longer wish into one.'

Moving forward to a year, I trace upon the letter I wrote for you.

With the smile on my face, I look up the night sky.  I am reminded of how your eyes shine brightly at the scene, and the mole beneath your eye resembles so much of the dots laid up high.

I let out a big sigh. How different it is by this time...

I realized now that we are two of the same; two bright stars. Glowing and burning embers on their own.

We're both coexisting to shine, though we cannot meet for one of us fell for the other too deep already.

A falling star, I cried to you; a shooting star.

How can our stars align? Our paths and distance don’t comply. Far and far across galaxies. You blinded me by that sight. My light cannot compare to yours.

My dearest, you shot too high up the skies to live on your dreams.

And mine just remained being one.

In some place safe
breath in the air so fresh
Where leaves dance through the wind
and how the sunlight kiss my skin
I just want to hold your hand
Intertwined to one another
under a full-bloom tree
A place where every birds sing,
where no voices left unheard
Is it too much to ask
to reach out for faces to listen?
Let me leave traces down your back
with my fingers gently
circling a path down your skin
Let my tongue be heard beyond echoes
Let my wishes and love in tune,
free as the seas and as how stars roam
throughout the horizons
Can’t my wounds be healed by thee?
Just by the warmth of your hand is the key
Let me get lost into the vast oceans of your soul
At least let this prayer be given a chance to speak
In some place safe,
a haven for the two of us
I beg— will be this be brought out to life?
Let this not be in the caverns of my mind,
in the deepest cores of my beating heart,
in the near future will it be?
Someday, somewhere, maybe—
Please
I just want it to come true
I’ll not ask for anything else
I’m willing for my heart to bleed

Now I know how the Moon feels
being in love with the Sun
As much as it hurts from its heat and rays
The Moon kept admiring it, still
As much as they cannot be together
It still hopes as they are in the same sky
Only, she knows too well,
they could never ever meet

dear Alice,*

roses, your lips flushed red
violets, I am blue
without you here
you're too far off the garden patch,
I've been looking by the bushes nearby
hoping I'll catch a black ribbon at sight
one last glance

I've been here underneath the trees,
but you're just fading,
the colors of the skies are melting
to blue, to orange...
with vibrant scarlet
then velvet of darkness of purple
I do hope the wonders of the land are doing you well

though as morning came,
I saw a pixie painting me in blue
a bob cat greeting me with its pearls
I'm glad to say
I'm moving ahead the meadow,
getting attached with her metal clutches
as she's getting near my flower bed
but I do admit
your dimples and flowy locks
could not compare
I still miss you

from Little Red

Your words and gestures
seems to be made of gold
The sun and stars they seem
to be seeping from your skin

Whenever your fingers strum the strings
as you sing your melody
This is what makes my heart sing

Your smile washes the sadness away
My heart beats faster like the drums you play
When you laugh like that, what can I say?
Even your simple words can make my day

I never thought I'll see
someone amazing like you
In my heart, you are the key

To my soul, you are the cure
I love you, dear; that I'm sure

Even if we are worlds apart
Nothing can ever change
the love you left in my heart

I know I started seeing things differently
Every time I look up the sky thinking
that I want to take every moment
sharing this beautiful view with you

— strolling

At these instances, I stay up all night
With my thoughts, scribbling through paper
As I write about what happened after a long day

Somehow, you lead me back to you
Then I'll go on and write some more
At least now I don't feel alone

As day passes by, it never really occured to me
can my love overflow beyond its capacity?
Your love can fill me up to the brim
It is only you that can bring me off its course

To me, you're a serum I want to take,
even if they said you're no good for me

You're a melody that's ever so addicting,
a rhythm I'm trying to forget, but cannot

My love, you're chained to my heart
etched deeply — I want to break out of it!
But then you're the only one who has the key
I can't let you go, until you set me free

Funny how easily
I can be pulled into its course,
and be flushed with the waves
all together.

It's just a single wave,
and I'm back in your shores once again.

I just love and cherish him so much. Though, why is it so hard to convey to the world? Why and how is it so hard to understand?

And why does it have to be this way.

A simple girl loving a man far from her grasp. I thought love wasn't supposed to hard, nor it needs to be understood. You just feel it, and you just know in the depths of your heart.

**Yet why does this hurt so much?

I find myself yearning
for your sunlight
instead of shade
I want to be the reason
of your blossoming days
For your smiles to curve
to gleeful laughs
For your eyes to form
thin as petals
Like the wind blowing near
your voice's music to my ears
You fill my lips
with flowery words to say
Like any other end of summer
I feel myself a bit warmer
As I find myself like the leaves
I fall for you more each day

And with that,
I'm reminded of all the reasons
why I fell in love with you,
and being in love with you, still.

Sometimes words are not enough
to express how I love you so
and the pain of my aching soul

Sometimes your mind can be too blurry
to even put together the words

Late at night, at times I feel sorry
I can only send you love songs
As exchange of my beating heart

Maybe this is for the better
I don't ever want you to hurt
I don't want you to know
how vulnerable I am

So instead of sending my plea
I'll let these songs reach you
even if at times,
music decides to **** me

It seems like the blood in my hands
can never run dry
As long as I write for you, my love

Though, the bleeding in my heart
doesn't stop
as the words, they spill for you

Please don't let me stop
from loving you dear
At least let me have the privilege

I've never experienced such rapture
whenever I see your smile
along with the aching feeling
that follows through my heart

I've only experience such love
when I have met you
I never had so much to lose
not before I met you

Why does it ache so much
and soothing all the same?
That it will never be my name
that you'll speak
when the clock strikes eleven
One then... *three

You are my escape
You bring me out of my own distress

You are my dream
The one I want to be
and who to be with

As much as you don’t know
You’re the very core in my existence
even if I don’t exist in yours

But that doesn’t matter, dear
Cause with all my heart and entity
You’re the one I adore

It seemed harder
the more that I avoid you
It is just too late
to even think of escaping
I'm already a captive
from your unwavering light
*how can I even let you go?

it seems like a long, long time ago
the girl in red was searching for the down to earth girl in blue
did you manage to go down the rabbit hole again?
or am I actually the one who lost track of time?

why am I so drawn to your mystery?
you keep many secrets my dear
I should be giving up searching for you
yet the thought of you is intriguing

it's been a long time, Alice
I just hope you don't wander too far off the path

it was nice seeing you after a long while
I’m right here, standing from across the fields
no flower in this meadow
can compare to your blooming smile

seeing your dimpled cheeks reddening
and the gleam of your eyes, melts me
even if it was not for me

A paper left blank, unlaid
Hurt, numb to even lift a pen
To hear news of your passing
It was too much to bear

A moment of silence
then tears come undone
How could you leave too soon?
I thought you were healing...

Though these mourning came on too late
I'm sorry if it took too long, my mate
Your friend wasn't able to stand your state
Especially seeing your gentle face...

At least you're hurting no more

I went back again and these words laid
Please don't worry, darling
I know you're in good hands
These tears will still fall, but not too long
I know you want us okay, we will be
We will
But please be mindful you will be missed
So much
I'll remember you through our song
especially how you radiate us with your smile
You've done well, you can rest
Someday we will reunite again
At least you gave us comfort
that another angel is looking out for us

You're the only one
who ever showed me sadness
In every love songs

Even as I want to take a step further, closer to your lane
I am still asking myself to restrain
For I am afraid of what you might think of me
Once you look my way

— Leap of faith

my precious star in the night
I love those glint in your eyes
the dreams that you've now achieved
please hold that tight
never lose sight
of what fueled that spark

the night I saw you, I swear I fell
as if I'm a shooting star shot across galaxies
but I could never hold such blinding light
as much of what you hold in your very eyes

please, my love, never loose that glimmer
as mine is fading, you're my only hope

I dream that even if millenials pass
these eyes will see the same star
of what made her wish on stars in the first place

I hope that I can hold on to you the same
please, my love I beg
as if I'm holding onto my last breath

this is my only wish upon a star
that whatever you may be
that even if you stand out
among thousands of galaxies
never change your pure glow
my love, don't be blinded
for what may bring you
to your downfall
please, I believe
I put my faith onto yours
even that time may pass
your light may still reach
my heart the same as that night

How deep is your love?
How far can you go for that one person
that you hold very dear to your heart?
Will you cross the seven seas
to get a glimpse of their eyes?

Your eyes remind me so much
of the deep caverns of the seas
Your gaze are so intense
that I am afraid I'll get lost into it
Your passion so deep
something that enamors me to you
How can someone harbor such fire
that even water cannot put out?

Your voice like a siren,
and the anchor in my ship
You keep me right above the water,
something that keeps me afloat,
that keeps me to my sanity
and the very person pulling me deep

Though, I don't want to touch you
For the fear that you might slip away
from my grasp
Like sand flowing away
as the wind disperse it on my palms

But I kept holding onto you still
Like an oyster holding its pearl
You're the treasure I hold the dearest

You are very like the waves
that comes back to the shore
Though I am not your shore

I know very well
that I cannot swim
Yet
I hope you'll come by
to save me just in time
Just how you always did

I miss you so much,
even if we haven't met before
You don't even have
the slightest clue of who I am
And I am not even sure
you'll get to know at all

Your smiles and your laugh enough
can bring the sun to shame
Your colors enough, so perfect
to pop up the hues,
for them to show through

I have a feeling
that we were once lovers
from a forgotten time

Only that we’ve restarted
When we crossed the light
Or at least, yours have

Like the sun, he was shining
As an admirer, I could only watch from afar

let me sing you a song
of a mermaid that once passed
can you not hear it
wailing in the distance?
by the raging seas
that was once calm waters
even after its last breath
the spirits of the waters it once swam on
still lingers in the oceans so deep
can my voice haunt you in your sleep?
even then listen to its calling
its sorrowful melody
how it’s missing the land
it never once kissed
remember the tune
so when you’re in need of company
come look up the moon
as it once became the light
of a lonely siren I came to be
this is how I miss you every night
I was always calling your name
but never heard by thee
as I have always been pleading
under the deep blue sea
'please remember me till you sleep'

‘I want to let him go.’
it's not that I want to let him go
I know fully well
that my heart can't take it
but it's more of that 'I should'
either way, it hurts

How is it that you can give feelings to your words
as if you've been in love before?
How can you explain heartache of losing someone,
without even experiencing it?

Or I just don't know you yet
Or maybe not at all

I want to approach you
how have you been?
I hope the summer's breeze
doing you well
I miss you
Heat's fastly approaching
But I still feel
the cold you're bringing

At least look me in the eye
Stab me, let me bleed
please, if you may
At least, pierce through me upfront

If this is goodbye
please tell me
Though, I'm afraid to let go

Just tell me
all the hatred
you feel against me

It was never my intention
to hurt you, dear
But I still did
I guess...
This will be the last time
I'll apologize

I have to tell you something
something that I haven't been able
to pass in another's ear before
I first tried writing music

Those lyrics of mine
never really left me,
it's haunting me with its monotonous beat
And it stayed with me still
But since I was horrible at it,
I stopped

Not till I met a boy who creates music himself
He makes me want to share a melody with him
but can't

I promised to myself one day,
even if it may be too late

Maybe the day
I'll be able to write a song,
is the day I'll be able to let out
all of these feelings
I have for you

Maybe by then
I can let you go

here I am again feeling lonely
missing the sights I can't see
what can I do for me to reach
the stars up high before me?

why am I even here down below
with the things they have?
the things left unfamiliar
I have not been bestowed?
is it bad to ask for more?
why can't I have the sights to soar?

but in reality, all I wish
is the gentle touch of his lips
as he press it close against
the hollows of my neck
on these nights so dark and deep

I could care less for diamonds and rings
along with million lights that could sing

but how can I even reach him
without passing the riches
that put him up the skies in the first place?

— loving the stars