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"unclenched" poems
These hands have clawed with blind eyes Chipped nails on fingers working on knots and ties Fingers that recklessly point to reproaches and blames Never to self, righteousness through arrogant claims Now aware, these palms have covered my face in contempt For they've partook in activities; indulgent and unkempt Rubbed skin raw on life's coarse sandpaper Ever searching for the coming of the unanticipated saviour Broken flesh hopeful for newly formed skin Like tattered souls pleading for absolution of sin Only skin deep but unfavourable experiences do fester Expecting the proverbial infection to blow over Here they are, held unclenched and riddled with pocks Weathered and sore from time's infinite mocks Maybe thereafter, will be awaited healing Perhaps soon after, I will be forgiving See now... Hands faced up, parted as halves Asking not for alms but instead your acceptance as salve Take into yours, these knackered, gnarled up palms Let your porcelain-like touch relieve like life reforming balm
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Sep 3, 2014
Sep 3, 2014 at 10:35 AM UTC
Absolution
1. Should'st thou, in grip of dread disease, Foresee the day when thou must die, With no more hope of life or ease, But only, lingering, to lie While torturing hours go slowly by; Thy brain awake, thy nerves alive To thine extremest agony, And all in vain to rave or strive: — O my beloved, if this should be, Call me — and I will set thee free. 2. ****** And thou to judgment hurled — Cut off from some few days of grace — Thus will it be to that hard world Which fits one law to every case, And dooms all rebels to disgrace. But to us twain, who stand above Conventioned rules, unbound, unclassed, A solemn sacrament of love, More true than kisses in the past — Love's costliest tribute, and the last. 3. Thy grateful hand, unclenched, shall seek The hand that gave thee thy release; Thy darkening eyes shall dumbly speak Of scorching pangs that sink and cease — Of anguish drowned in rest and peace. And I that terrible farewell, Despairing but content, shall take, Knowing that I have served thee well — I, that would dare the rack and stake, The flames of hell, for thy dear sake. 4. The law may hang me for my crime, Just or unjust, I'll not complain. 'Twere better than to live my time Bereaved and broken, and to wane, Slow inch by inch, in useless pain; Alone, unhelped, uncomforted, In mine own last extremity; No faithful lover by my bed To do what thou would'st do for me. And I shall want to die with thee.
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2.9k
A Promise
A collaboration between Elisa Maria Argiro and SG Holter. Dear feather. You fell on my heart. I keep you on my person now; pocket held; An eternal companion. As beautiful as you, I remind my Thoughts to be. I wake up as Buddha every day.                   Peace is the corner stone of my breathing. Dear Last Crescent Moon, adorning Lord Shiva's brow, smiling toward Morning Star enjoying her sweet presence in clearest predawn light. She smiles too, drifting into feathery sleep. Birdless flight, unclenched, un- Clung to. With this dew drop in my palm I need no ocean to swim in. How can Life's castle, with its wars and Tragedies, hide within its Towers of                                                           Noise such quiet chambers? Paper sails, bamboo, emerald waters. Single feathers rest even when Airborne. From your outstretched palm, sweet taste of morning touches my tongue, oceanic dew drop sharing itself across floating time. An offering holding the last shining starlight of this new morning. Drifting now through limitless space, finding words in our common language on your yellow paper sails, we gaze down from these towers of our ancient dreams, emerald water below us waiting to catch the falling feather. Dear insight. Light as the wind itself, you Floated; fell on my heart. Merged with heavy memories Like paper balloons rising; Tsunami of kamifusen Render my whole being Weightless. Third-Eye-Hindsight sees me Remembering nothing with Bitterness. One or a hundred lifetimes Wandering. Finally now, Even waking hours feel like Dreaming. Dear Wisdom, Guardian Planet, Buddha's radiance shining. Thousand-Petaled Lotus is now your own effulgent mind. Smiling, eyes closed, feeling the glowing kamifusen of magenta, scarlet, turquoise, and yellow floating above us, we swim so deeply, diving down into these warm emerald waters, winking at the luminous fishes dreaming all around us.
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Oct 10, 2015
Oct 10, 2015 at 2:31 PM UTC
Thousand-Petaled Lotus
A collaboration between Elisa Maria Argiro and SG Holter. Dear feather. You fell on my heart. I keep you on my person now; pocket held; An eternal companion. As beautiful as you, I remind my Thoughts to be. I wake up as Buddha every day.                   Peace is the corner stone of my breathing. Dear Last Crescent Moon, adorning Lord Shiva's brow, smiling toward Morning Star enjoying her sweet presence in clearest predawn light. She smiles too, drifting into feathery sleep. Birdless flight, unclenched, un- Clung to. With this dew drop in my palm I need no ocean to swim in. How can Life's castle, with its wars and Tragedies, hide within its Towers of                                                           Noise such quiet chambers? Paper sails, bamboo, emerald waters. Single feathers rest even when Airborne. From your outstretched palm, sweet taste of morning touches my tongue, oceanic dew drop sharing itself across floating time. An offering holding the last shining starlight of this new morning. Drifting now through limitless space, finding words in our common language on your yellow paper sails, we gaze down from these towers of our ancient dreams, emerald water below us waiting to catch the falling feather. Dear insight. Light as the wind itself, you Floated; fell on my heart. Merged with heavy memories Like paper balloons rising; Tsunami of kamifusen Render my whole being Weightless. Third-Eye-Hindsight sees me Remembering nothing with Bitterness. One or a hundred lifetimes Wandering. Finally now, Even waking hours feel like Dreaming. Dear Wisdom, Guardian Planet, Buddha's radiance shining. Thousand-Petaled Lotus is now your own effulgent mind. Smiling, eyes closed, feeling the glowing kamifusen of magenta, scarlet, turquoise, and yellow floating above us, we swim so deeply, diving down into these warm emerald waters, winking at the luminous fishes dreaming all around us.
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65
There was a saviour Rarer than radium, Commoner than water, crueller than truth; Children kept from the sun Assembled at his tongue To hear the golden note turn in a groove, Prisoners of wishes locked their eyes In the jails and studies of his keyless smiles. The voice of children says From a lost wilderness There was calm to be done in his safe unrest, When hindering man hurt Man, animal, or bird We hid our fears in that murdering breath, Silence, silence to do, when earth grew loud, In lairs and asylums of the tremendous shout. There was glory to hear In the churches of his tears, Under his downy arm you sighed as he struck, O you who could not cry On to the ground when a man died Put a tear for joy in the unearthly flood And laid your cheek against a cloud-formed shell: Now in the dark there is only yourself and myself. Two proud, blacked brothers cry, Winter-locked side by side, To this inhospitable hollow year, O we who could not stir One lean sigh when we heard Greed on man beating near and fire neighbour But wailed and nested in the sky-blue wall Now break a giant tear for the little known fall, For the drooping of homes That did not nurse our bones, Brave deaths of only ones but never found, Now see, alone in us, Our own true strangers' dust Ride through the doors of our unentered house. Exiled in us we arouse the soft, Unclenched, armless, silk and rough love that breaks all rocks.
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2.6k
There Was A Saviour
Airports are filled with lonely people longing for their long distance lover, business men traveling for work, and wanderlust travel. The last time I picked someone up from the airport he didn’t know how much inside me I needed to unravel. And I didn’t know the emotional baggage he had brought along. At first it was lovely, it was everything I wanted and more…feeling love, and sleeping next to someone who accepted me even when I was wrong. Then, it got ugly, we started fighting and screaming at each other, I started drinking heavily to numb myself one after another. One night he told me to hit him, and I unclenched all the madness inside of me, emotionally I was bleeding out. He still stayed and reminded me every day that I was okay, I was safe, and explained the things I knew nothing about. That was then and this is now, I see airports and become sick to my stomach feeling devastation. I hate how all of it feels, and it feels like the extra luggage you don’t need on vacation. It’s like I was dreaming the whole time and sometimes I want to reach out. We knew each other like the back of our hands, he made my heart dance but now I can’t stand in crowds at the airport because I drown in my feelings.
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Jul 2, 2021
Jul 2, 2021 at 12:08 AM UTC
Airports
Your eyes resembled the troubled waters at sea, always shimmering, churning, crashing, always making me wonder if you had sky blue galaxies trapped inside of you. And your smile always looked as if it had been carved into your face with the same instrument used to make those marks on your arms. I found comfort in your sadness, because that was the only time you were true to yourself. I found comfort in your freedom. I always loved seeing you live carelessly, daringly. Insubordinate to anyone who tried to stop you. Sometimes it worried me to see you scratch your skin after you cursed about destroying everything you touched. Sometimes it worried me to see you lose yourself among the empty bottles of alcohol. You were burdened with a heavy heart, and like the pupils in your eyes and the emotion in your smile and the sound of your laugh, it was vacant. And all I could say was, maybe, just maybe, if you unclenched your fists you would've found that you were holding onto nothing.
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Feb 20, 2015
Feb 20, 2015 at 3:05 AM UTC
you were beautiful
fingers of a fountain clenched unclenched pointing to heaven without understanding lips false as a beach damp a pearl on the lip dampened the blackness of a tear falling the memory dies slowly a plate held before each face saying who am i the moon (fresh feet in sawdust rust before noon) the moon after all
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2k
landscape without a window
A Stirring biomass, a grim river Garrotted by mud and each rusted carcass Dumped over the slow years - 'And we saw the metal of a woman, A frothy corruption, naked and open, we prised her from the mire, and saw the city through the eyes of the sewer,' The Lady from sludge, your toady skin broke as you flopped, nymph-like on board Caved-in by the tumbling sky, And air like leather. Dry in the throat. The sweating walls spun his head, And the cogs whirred to fast To bite back. Space and time-blind, He turns to the sepia city. Like new life, ready for the fall of man. Through the river of time elapsed, Churning up memory. And there's the glitz, the cracking lips. that bet on goodness. 'I remember being a girl - and my mother - smiling but never sad - I waited for her every morning'. The forgotten root scratches out life Underneath vast and forgotten hangers. The lungs of the city shed their skin To keep pace with the smog. See what we all don't know. And live where we all can't see. He led her to a room with broken windows and one swinging bulb, She wasn't scared. Dank Amazon. the roots are wires, sprawling for grip for the sulking trees In the great ape eco-system 'I'm a cruel joke, don't you see?' As her eyes slowly rolled. 'I'm sorry' As her fists unclenched 'Im Sorry' As her knees went limp 'I'm Sorry' Belted by un-silent night And below gridlocks of light An I.C.1 male is being chased By screaming vans, run rabbit Down the hole and off you go. And the hiss of 'one eight seven, one eight seven' from the radio, is scoring his run - as the pools on the floor, neon-flashed burst open in a booted shatter. 'And the time went by, And I looked at your form And I looked at your cuts And you are the river And one of its secrets, un-watered'.
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Jan 21, 2013
Jan 21, 2013 at 9:18 AM UTC
Dusk on the River
A Stirring biomass, a grim river Garrotted by mud and each rusted carcass Dumped over the slow years - 'And we saw the metal of a woman, A frothy corruption, naked and open, we prised her from the mire, and saw the city through the eyes of the sewer,' The Lady from sludge, your toady skin broke as you flopped, nymph-like on board Caved-in by the tumbling sky, And air like leather. Dry in the throat. The sweating walls spun his head, And the cogs whirred to fast To bite back. Space and time-blind, He turns to the sepia city. Like new life, ready for the fall of man. Through the river of time elapsed, Churning up memory. And there's the glitz, the cracking lips. that bet on goodness. 'I remember being a girl - and my mother - smiling but never sad - I waited for her every morning'. The forgotten root scratches out life Underneath vast and forgotten hangers. The lungs of the city shed their skin To keep pace with the smog. See what we all don't know. And live where we all can't see. He led her to a room with broken windows and one swinging bulb, She wasn't scared. Dank Amazon. the roots are wires, sprawling for grip for the sulking trees In the great ape eco-system 'I'm a cruel joke, don't you see?' As her eyes slowly rolled. 'I'm sorry' As her fists unclenched 'Im Sorry' As her knees went limp 'I'm Sorry' Belted by un-silent night And below gridlocks of light An I.C.1 male is being chased By screaming vans, run rabbit Down the hole and off you go. And the hiss of 'one eight seven, one eight seven' from the radio, is scoring his run - as the pools on the floor, neon-flashed burst open in a booted shatter. 'And the time went by, And I looked at your form And I looked at your cuts And you are the river And one of its secrets, un-watered'.
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60
butterflies love the blood, tumbling about in bellies, whisk it away, the way we pray, a bird being carried by a breeze, lifted essence, manifested, heart shade, finally, at ease, signal came through, translated to sharpened claws, unclenched jaws - unthought it all while sober -   *you came as ocean, as breeze,    as birds, as leaves,    as hues and blues,    sunshines and moons, and you left as you pleased,     opened my mouth wide to cry for you,     praise you,    love you, raise you above   what I've said in silence,   unbreak the trust I betrayed in private,   you came as hearts, as people I've known,   and stories never told, as whispers,   as hugs, and as kisses,   as melodies, repeatedly on my brain, as so, absent of you,       I came to know you:* butterflies love the blood, dying slowly from the greed, whisk it away, the way I pray, would ask for your forgiveness, but I know there is no need, I feel you in the leaps of knowing when to regret, and when to let it be, summon the tides stronger aside dying suns, each day, each night I pray for you to call upon me, like you did when I was your favourite color, pray for you to love the me now, and be sure of no other, so if I adjust the pitch, tune the sounds to form around your wisdom, or pretty eyes, maybe the melody will reach you again, if not for love, lost at sea, then for truth, and maybe friends we'll be, no longer eclipsed by rumors
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Jul 11, 2014
Jul 11, 2014 at 4:13 PM UTC
Dear Carson
Enough said. You don't say That one day We could just start again. And There's a chance Our jaws could be unclenched A hope for unraveling. You don't say Hope counts for nothing Because it does. But We can't say Because everyone knows And no one can live if its not off of lies. I can't say Everything will be alright. Why don't you tell me? Save a breath Skip a step Knowledge of the truth hasn't brought us very far Before. So bet on broken knees and ****** jeans It's a death march to the beginning. Now Run backwards after falling And see what comes. Stand behind this white line Stare at the pavement And believe. They already left you behind.
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Nov 12, 2012
Nov 12, 2012 at 10:40 PM UTC
Enough Said
Catapulted... Over the moon. Counted stars as I hurtled through time and space. I had tasted the sweetness. The spellbinding grasp of weightlessness as I crested upon the peak of my ascent. Felt free and overwhelmed that moment where the universe and I collided... And birthed the second. I only had that second. *The second that spanned an eternity. The second filled with abundant promise. The second that unclenched my fist, melted my heart, and liberated my mind.* But gravity takes control and that second dissolves as quickly as it came. Reality beckons almost gentle... Like swaying palms in the night sea breeze. Assuring me that I'll be back in my rightful place. In this time... And this space...
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Oct 10, 2016
Oct 10, 2016 at 11:19 AM UTC
The Second
Liar. Theif. Villain. STOP Open your eyes for one in your life and realize that you are not perfect. That by declaring such hurtful things, you are welcoming hypocracy with open arms. You are armed with hatred and feed chaos that which you spent months saving from the gallows. Step out of the shadows when you glance in the mirror to see yourself as others do. Prove that there is still something worth seeing rather than inflicting That worthless feeling on everyone you meet. Liar. Theif. Villain. I KNOW I'm not alright. I never claimed to say I was or am or will become After you've unclenched your hands from ringing me dry of love and beating me senseless. Now, step back and look at the mess you've left with destruction and pain For each life you've touched. Liar. Theif. Villain. LISTEN Cease building your walls of defense up higher than your line of sight And see that you are alone. No one waits to hear your shouts and calls through the empty halls of the maze You've trapped yourself within. All that remains is the whisper of your own song, Echoing back at you. Villain Liar Theif
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Apr 17, 2012
Apr 17, 2012 at 5:09 PM UTC
Echo
Some days you hold a bed of roses as only a state of mind Promises seem to be forgotten in drifting pieces Wondering how absence thinks of ways to make fonder A heart that watches time burning bridges With faith that never ceases So often an eager crowd serves a master of lonely places You can hear them whispering words of praise They are swirling in a powerful roundabout of illusion Spent in rooms where the only way out Cannot be paraphrased Some have chosen their scars as seed to plant in rows Then wonder why their fields are full of pain Aside from sorrow can you imagine what could dwell As rows of beautiful flowers in the heart Where love remains We hear I am sorry in a moment that passes forgotten On days when a bed of roses does not exist Should we choose to serve a master of lonely places Or plant seeds of forgiveness in our fields From unclenched fists
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Mar 21, 2011
Mar 21, 2011 at 8:49 AM UTC
Misconception Passes Forgotten
The little boy unclenched his sticky fist, freeing his blue balloon into the wide open sky. "If you can fly, then I shouldn't stop you," he said to the balloon as it floated                            out                                      of                                             sight.
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Mar 13, 2014
Mar 13, 2014 at 4:18 PM UTC
profound by mistake
Breath evaporates, vision clouds - I drift, it is peaceful in the deep I no longer feel like a burden; lumbering and pathetic   My hands are soft, my thighs milky and unclenched my lips barely touched Insomnia envelops me once more and I awake:  this body is not ready
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Aug 1, 2013
Aug 1, 2013 at 5:51 PM UTC
Expanse
Mother Nature is a nihilist sitting with friends Around a poker table in the dew drop inn Playing Nasty Canasta and the loser draws a limb On a voodoo hangman, the cut of her kin The high-wire committee say she’s way out of line So they’ve sent in a crack-team of their most earnest faces To blow 40 shades of blue, red and lime From the very corridors our Mother paces She croaks through the smoke “the first sons a novelty The rest are just relics of muscles unclenched Too smart for their own good and that doesn’t bother-me But the reaper is hungry and hustling for rent” Lackeys line the lawn, flunkies on fleek To cover the crack of her chunky cheeks “To stake lives may well seem immoral and bleak But to play for cash prize seems horribly cheap For a Lady of her esteem” But the crowd spoke, she hung up the wardens trunchbull Left the skeleton key within reach of the cells “They’ve aired their opinions and I’ve had a cunt-full Let the hungry ******** impeach themselves I’m sitting this one out” “And I’ll hide, while my dead snake wriggle persists, On Elba with hairy pits, freckled wrists, Openly practicing romanticists And other hapless things that can’t exist In these times” Every second Sunday, the search resumes-led By a dawn-chorus of confetti festooned-plebs She can dance the devils limbo cos she’ll not be presumed-dead While we’ve Holy Grail Package Holi-vows to renew-said The green eyed usher on the door The newsstand screams “Mother Nature was a fascist Sher natural selection was the **** manifesto” And they’re pedalling placebo to the shell-shocked masses While the editor shoehorns a scotch into his amaretto Yeah the world has been orphaned and the orphans smothered But go easy on her sordid soul cos that’s our mother, after all
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Jun 5, 2018
Jun 5, 2018 at 6:26 PM UTC
Mother Nature Was a Fascist
Mother Nature is a nihilist sitting with friends Around a poker table in the dew drop inn Playing Nasty Canasta and the loser draws a limb On a voodoo hangman, the cut of her kin The high-wire committee say she’s way out of line So they’ve sent in a crack-team of their most earnest faces To blow 40 shades of blue, red and lime From the very corridors our Mother paces She croaks through the smoke “the first sons a novelty The rest are just relics of muscles unclenched Too smart for their own good and that doesn’t bother-me But the reaper is hungry and hustling for rent” Lackeys line the lawn, flunkies on fleek To cover the crack of her chunky cheeks “To stake lives may well seem immoral and bleak But to play for cash prize seems horribly cheap For a Lady of her esteem” But the crowd spoke, she hung up the wardens trunchbull Left the skeleton key within reach of the cells “They’ve aired their opinions and I’ve had a cunt-full Let the hungry ******** impeach themselves I’m sitting this one out” “And I’ll hide, while my dead snake wriggle persists, On Elba with hairy pits, freckled wrists, Openly practicing romanticists And other hapless things that can’t exist In these times” Every second Sunday, the search resumes-led By a dawn-chorus of confetti festooned-plebs She can dance the devils limbo cos she’ll not be presumed-dead While we’ve Holy Grail Package Holi-vows to renew-said The green eyed usher on the door The newsstand screams “Mother Nature was a fascist Sher natural selection was the **** manifesto” And they’re pedalling placebo to the shell-shocked masses While the editor shoehorns a scotch into his amaretto Yeah the world has been orphaned and the orphans smothered But go easy on her sordid soul cos that’s our mother, after all
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38
I think my problem, in relation to last year’s writer’s block, is that I wish to write about me, and I wish to write about the world, and I’ve been waiting all this time for these things to extend beyond you. It’s as if I had been waiting for this poignant moment where someone—anyone— would announce that my life could begin again, as if continuity would seamlessly occur once the halt in time had pursued for long enough. What a shock it would be to discover that the world waits. (It doesn’t.) In this time, I cut my hair and I let it grow. I looked in the mirror, hair falling halfway down my back like velvet drapes, keeping the sun out of my space and solitude, and I felt the power slipping away from my body. I knew that I needed to find a way to hold on to this power, one that was rooted in my own flesh and my own vision rather than yours. (I did.) I don’t get as lonely when I see crowds or busy streets or lights that remind me of you, drunk and obscene — laughing with your head thrown back, eyes glimmering like the Vegas strip. We slipped into an intimacy that, in retrospect, was simply me having a first-time love affair with myself. No hands were strange hands up until this point— no hands except my own. Trembling against my collar bone, realizing that what you gave to me was a home to live in. I look up. No ceilings, no roof, just space. The wars, they’re far away from here. I look up, find my power. It’s been here all along. Resting in the unclenched fist, in the phone that remains unplugged on the bedside table. My power is in the hand that brushes the inside of my thigh, my power is in forgetting how to say I’m sorry when I’m less than quiet, when I forget how to bite my tongue. I keep looking up. Blissful starry skies, Atomic wasteland, Wonder and boredom live side-by-side. I am in you. You, in me. Open those velvet drapes you used to hide behind, child-like, curious but afraid of your own flesh, of your hot temperament. The Sun goddess is rising in the East, raining on the wild seeds of May. I, body of water, offer myself to a new seed, grow like the deciduous plants of the Northern world, a whole forest dizzy from bliss and impermanence. Thank you for visiting.
0
Jan 2, 2018
Jan 2, 2018 at 4:43 PM UTC
DEFINITION: "The dropping of a part that is no longer needed”
I think my problem, in relation to last year’s writer’s block, is that I wish to write about me, and I wish to write about the world, and I’ve been waiting all this time for these things to extend beyond you. It’s as if I had been waiting for this poignant moment where someone—anyone— would announce that my life could begin again, as if continuity would seamlessly occur once the halt in time had pursued for long enough. What a shock it would be to discover that the world waits. (It doesn’t.) In this time, I cut my hair and I let it grow. I looked in the mirror, hair falling halfway down my back like velvet drapes, keeping the sun out of my space and solitude, and I felt the power slipping away from my body. I knew that I needed to find a way to hold on to this power, one that was rooted in my own flesh and my own vision rather than yours. (I did.) I don’t get as lonely when I see crowds or busy streets or lights that remind me of you, drunk and obscene — laughing with your head thrown back, eyes glimmering like the Vegas strip. We slipped into an intimacy that, in retrospect, was simply me having a first-time love affair with myself. No hands were strange hands up until this point— no hands except my own. Trembling against my collar bone, realizing that what you gave to me was a home to live in. I look up. No ceilings, no roof, just space. The wars, they’re far away from here. I look up, find my power. It’s been here all along. Resting in the unclenched fist, in the phone that remains unplugged on the bedside table. My power is in the hand that brushes the inside of my thigh, my power is in forgetting how to say I’m sorry when I’m less than quiet, when I forget how to bite my tongue. I keep looking up. Blissful starry skies, Atomic wasteland, Wonder and boredom live side-by-side. I am in you. You, in me. Open those velvet drapes you used to hide behind, child-like, curious but afraid of your own flesh, of your hot temperament. The Sun goddess is rising in the East, raining on the wild seeds of May. I, body of water, offer myself to a new seed, grow like the deciduous plants of the Northern world, a whole forest dizzy from bliss and impermanence. Thank you for visiting.
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13
The man with the plastic face He has cloudy, liquid eyes His fibre moustache and the thick dense fog Strengthen his disguise As he stops to check the time His circuits start to glow Then a figure comes to greet him With a face he used to know It's a face in a leather case It's a face he used to own It's a face that moved through time and space And now he's come to take it home There was a subtle smell of sulphur As he made time stand still He unclenched his plastic hand To expose a yellow pill Then his sub processor skipped To where it all began To a time before his micro chips When he was still a man
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Jul 30, 2012
Jul 30, 2012 at 3:41 PM UTC
Plastic paradox
I've spent half my time telling myself that you are a terrible person. And with just a few sentences you've unlocked the chains around my heart. The only thing keeping me from feeling what I once felt for you. I find myself smiling, laughing With you. You caused me so much pain So, so many tears. The knots in my stomach I thought would never come unclenched. But here I am laughing. Betraying myself. Breaking my own heart because it's fool me twice shame on me. But if we're being honest, it's way past fool me twice. More like fool me to the moon and back Because that's the line that got me To the moon and back How romantic of you, to travel that far Just for me But we both know it was only pretty words And the only reason you're here now is because even though we are as used to each other as the stars are the night sky, I'm new. We fell into the pattern of comfortable And then we had our break And the tears And the silence So the talking is new The flirting is innocent, but oh so loaded It's like a grenade, this fragile line we walk One wrong word, one bold move and this pretty picture of happiness would be shattered But I do love art Especially the kind you and I make The way we are together How the tired sentences don't make sense, but neither of us will say goodnight. Even now. And maybe you're supposed to be there. On my mind and in my life Because I'm sure as hell not shaking you.
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Nov 8, 2013
Nov 8, 2013 at 9:45 AM UTC
To the Moon and Back
You kiss me with your native tongue Between sea salted breaths Hints of starfruit and filth Relish saintly dialects Distant malaise clings to Gritted teeth, unclenched Your kaleidoscope soul Vulnerable, drenched Dripping liquified gold Ornate in transcendental air Upstaging whatever gods May reside up there
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Nov 7, 2018
Nov 7, 2018 at 1:56 PM UTC
Citrine
The frozen river, Grey mist and cold air escape from little thankful lungs. I hold your hand. Your body walks beside me, Our shadows blend to one. On the outside your figure looks unscathed, Your face is bare and clean, your eyes look out clear and blank and mild. Your hands unclenched and loosely draped, arms sway slightly from side to side as ballast for the steps you take. Broken though. Broken so very deeply. So that every step your body takes, you hear the sound of glass. The ***** and jangle, the music of an utterly shattered self. I hear you breaking, though you drown it in your headphones. As you pass me in the street I hear the squelch of your shoes. Soaked in your own blood so your socks are brown like mud. And your eyes, they are unguarded as you gentley start to topple. Vortex of pleaing pain and weighted silence. A tornado of anguish inside your iris. As you inhale, your scars are whiter than your teeth. You pull me in, You want to grab me and beg for help. For mercy, for release, for suffocation. But you have no voice, Your tears are gushing but they don't feel wet. You're flat, and shiny and utterly destroyed, Beyond repair. The damage is done. And so I release the mirror, till our shadows blend, and the blood is dried, and the pieces scattered, and the shattered mirror will rest at the bottom of the river. Only I stand on the bridge. One body, not two. Nothing to remind me of you. But the shattered hole in the frozen river,
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Oct 23, 2014
Oct 23, 2014 at 7:29 PM UTC
Doppelganger
tell me how it felt to watch her put her lips on another. tell me how it felt to fall on your knees, and pray to God half sober with the kitchen light on. tell me how it felt to wake up the next afternoon with beer stains on your collar and ash in your teeth. tell me how it felt to stack those bricks around your bones and fight anyone who got too close. tell me how it felt when you met me; face softened, jaw unclenched, pulse steady. tell me how it felt when you let me in, how the fires felt burning away every piece of armor shielding your weaknesses and you were without water to put it out. tell me how it felt to let me go; did it leave you scorched in the flesh and heavy in the head? my apologies, that was me. Copyright ©  2015 Alyssa Packard All Rights Reserved
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Mar 12, 2015
Mar 12, 2015 at 9:58 PM UTC
all burnt up
The waves roll in on a melted sunset, Bringing new treasures onto land, Tropical flowers bloom in the dew sewn grass, Palm trees sway lazily in the gentle breeze, Summer clouds dreamily float past in a daze, ***** scuttle, claws unclenched, relaxed for once, All your worries have washed away, Bottled, tangled, and rolled up into the ocean blue.
0
Apr 1, 2014
Apr 1, 2014 at 5:15 PM UTC
Tropically Yours
I.) Bodies of Open lakes are naked Their secrets, Rub like salt. How did one get here What seized the labour of hands. Do we deserve to know. Do we deserve to know the extent. Do we deserve to know the extent of our own subjugation. Knees meet dry earth. It's dry where we forget to water it Not that it needs water, Salt finds form In our negligence. Arid insincerity spoke of more. II.) To follow We left. We did not need to stay A dry sterile whisper kept us there With it's pleas for us to leave. The trust of invitation, Burnt holes in our wings. Untrust of warning, Had us leaving without our things I don't know which is better. A departure announced drew heed to soft cartilage. Unsharpened curfue split bone without piercing the skin. The expression of self. Callous wanderers knocked at no doors; to accept rejection. III.) Reintegration of being The want of murmurs in wanton misuse Kept us foraging for lust, For more, For inability in casualty. We waited for forest to arrive, Bare earth begged of no candour, Trees deny script. Unclenched hands greyed over context As purpose gave none where some was due. IV.) What the stars offered A quest unrelenting bends bark in fervour. Do we know why we left, Cold hands hock at swords needed to keep slight wrists in check. Or where we are going, Our aimless pacing finds direction in blind eyes and guided hearts. All the dust settled, buried in puddles like art. And the thunder was there The thunder never knelt But we listened To listen was the choice. A brief connection with the sky Through it's reproach It implored for something more, Only upon deaf ears. Was earth all there was to rain on? We thought, as the stars spat on us. Celestial offering in cleanse not spite. V.) Love Maybe that's why we left. To trascend our own ideas of love. Innocent foliage made the path harder to see, But easier to tread. Gentle arches hug mounds of green Like finger tips kissed by yonic flesh. To remember the conception in contact, Was to recognize our own affirmation And any word intended for the ears of the unknown. Blood is replaced where word is love. VI.) Relation to self To stay or leave was not the choice The distance from anything was illusory. The real choice, was acceptance of self. After the end of our disintegration, The dry heave, Leaving without hesitation; We are not without ourselves.
0
May 16, 2016
May 16, 2016 at 8:11 PM UTC
About Relation
I.) Bodies of Open lakes are naked Their secrets, Rub like salt. How did one get here What seized the labour of hands. Do we deserve to know. Do we deserve to know the extent. Do we deserve to know the extent of our own subjugation. Knees meet dry earth. It's dry where we forget to water it Not that it needs water, Salt finds form In our negligence. Arid insincerity spoke of more. II.) To follow We left. We did not need to stay A dry sterile whisper kept us there With it's pleas for us to leave. The trust of invitation, Burnt holes in our wings. Untrust of warning, Had us leaving without our things I don't know which is better. A departure announced drew heed to soft cartilage. Unsharpened curfue split bone without piercing the skin. The expression of self. Callous wanderers knocked at no doors; to accept rejection. III.) Reintegration of being The want of murmurs in wanton misuse Kept us foraging for lust, For more, For inability in casualty. We waited for forest to arrive, Bare earth begged of no candour, Trees deny script. Unclenched hands greyed over context As purpose gave none where some was due. IV.) What the stars offered A quest unrelenting bends bark in fervour. Do we know why we left, Cold hands hock at swords needed to keep slight wrists in check. Or where we are going, Our aimless pacing finds direction in blind eyes and guided hearts. All the dust settled, buried in puddles like art. And the thunder was there The thunder never knelt But we listened To listen was the choice. A brief connection with the sky Through it's reproach It implored for something more, Only upon deaf ears. Was earth all there was to rain on? We thought, as the stars spat on us. Celestial offering in cleanse not spite. V.) Love Maybe that's why we left. To trascend our own ideas of love. Innocent foliage made the path harder to see, But easier to tread. Gentle arches hug mounds of green Like finger tips kissed by yonic flesh. To remember the conception in contact, Was to recognize our own affirmation And any word intended for the ears of the unknown. Blood is replaced where word is love. VI.) Relation to self To stay or leave was not the choice The distance from anything was illusory. The real choice, was acceptance of self. After the end of our disintegration, The dry heave, Leaving without hesitation; We are not without ourselves.
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77
I know when to quit. late summer unclenched for us, thrusts of pixie-stick upshot, your perfume expands my chest, thunderstick love, spines and ribs don’t do it justice you raptured me both ways to sunday built me up to shatter jaws car windows me bar stool battered you my perfect carpenter smile with wooden teeth you made them yourself so stain me the color of cherry trees and unbliss my empty spine.
0
Dec 12, 2013
Dec 12, 2013 at 10:46 PM UTC
thunderstick