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Stíofáinín Nov 2021
Sin
You beat the sun light right out of me,
endlessly
The sorrow your love bares falls on me,
beautifully
And I love you
Stars will shun the skies above me
Outside of your eyes
In moments you love me
Carelessly, cut me
Mirror, you are but a broken glass
I know not of recovery
I know now
Woe,

You love me
Stíofáinín May 2021
You're a castle in the air
But I cannot live with you in there
In my heart
In my mind
Comforting a self made misery
To hate you
Because I love you
Because I let you
Make me feel so alone
Like a night sky void and empty
I felt all my stars surrender and burn out for you
And I still grieve each one
Every night
In every tear
Twisting the knife with you here
I hate you
Because I love you
Because I let you
Make me lose sight of myself
If I could dream
I'd dream you were dead
And turn these lyrical bullets into led
Load up the gun
And point it to your head
Bang bang

- But you're never dead
Stíofáinín Feb 2021
History dictates,
and ego is born.
Emaciated, it creates the false self as means of safe passage through a storm.
Like a wounded animal seeking shelter, it hides.
Vicious, and untouched. Safe.
This is dystopia.
Never weakened by the external, unphased by the internal.
It grows stronger.
For ego has no choice but to protect what gives it life when no one else will.
In consequence, giving birth to a savagely misconceived identity.
The false self is conceived.
At what cost though, the innocent of youth could never impart the price such of self preservation brought forth by the absences of love.
And the false self will accept it no more, owning the fact that it would sink to its very core, unmasking itself as a fragile thing.
A prisoner of war.
A mind that paied that cost, a heart that pumps pain into being.
An unhappy exsistance that eventually becomes animalistic.
No progression, only movement to regress in moments of weakness.
This is created not born. At the hands of man who came before and failed so on many counts.
Do we accept to never grow because of a historically sorry soul. isn't that history repeating itself?
There is always choice to break the false self,
Over power it.
We, as living breathing beings are bigger. We always were...
Because we are real.
Somewhere
Stíofáinín Nov 2020
Bethink of times I hurt for you
I weeped for you
Because it made a difference that I loved you
For to love it's to hurt and now
I don't cry
I don't hurt and I don't love, not the way I did before
Tragic to me
Because no one will ever have that part of me
It's inside of you forever
Tangled up with your own bluebird
And they're keeping each other warm while you lock them up
Caged and beaten like what we had
But you keep them close
Because you know
They make you come alive and when I come back around, you can't control that because
You want to be alive
My saddest story, my endless poem
Beautiful in animation
Ceasessly blind to nature's creation
But oh, you see it
You know what you are
That's why you hide yourself
You hurt me because you were sad and afraid
And now you're just sad and afraid inside of yourself
By yourself
And you will be this forever
Where ever you are, whoever you're with
You're alone
But I am still here and I can still make someones sun beam
You keep those birds
Abuse the hell out of them and yourself until the end of time
I still have my heart in all the rain and shine
A wise person might say, forgiveness could be be divine
But they never played your game
I'll always miss you because
I have a heart
More than anything, you have my deepest sympathies
You're so sad it makes me want to hurt for you
To cry for you
But I don't cry
I don't hurt and I don't feel for you...
Not the way I used to
Stíofáinín Aug 2020
Sunshine,
We’ve expired
I’m leaving now,
emotions are tired
I cleaned your room while you were gone
I don't linger here for too long
I never expected you to see,
all the wrong that you do to me
but I waited with time,
Only wanting what can't ever be mine
Hey now, just come along
I love you, wake up,
before I’m gone
Can I crawl all over you again?
So you can try to play pretend,
like this isn’t just a means to an end
Then you can love me once again
And I’m here asking myself why the hell you put me on a shelf
Act you don’t give a f*
all so you can cut me up,
one more time
I guess that’s the only way to keep it off your mind
Oh so heart-wrenching, how can you even draw breath inside?
Could you tell the truth and still survive?
Do you not think that I can see, all the lies that you’ve told me?
But go on, you can always love me again
And I’ll still be here asking why you need to pretend,
And turn yourself into stone
All you are is flesh and bone
Come on and cut me up one more time, you always said I’d be just fine
It really must be very tough
to know that you were never good enough
Just pretend like you never started this
Can you even call that a parting gift?
No applause before this end
Changed your mind,
Hand in mine...
same old smile
So come on and cut me up one last time
Tell yourself you know I’m fine…
I guess it really must be rough
To not ever give a single f
Stíofáinín Jul 2020
To,
And fro
Am I where you come and go
Wait,
I know
It's all part of the shadow show
Maybe once
Maybe twice
I could have loved you like my only vice
For all I knew,
I thought I knew you
Held your hand
When I saw through you
Blame me once
Sway me twice
I'll never take my own advice
Vague,
Benign
You're no-
friend of mine
Fool me once
Fool me again
Chase a lion in his own den
Maybe once, maybe twice
Maybe stop
******* with my life

To,
And fro
It's better to love the devil you know....
Stíofáinín Jun 2020
Ever and ever again,
My world correlates with yours and I'm wandering through a place that I've known before
Alien conquistador;
I'm tap tap tapping on your door
You swiftly arise and we emerge even more
The tensions vicious unlike before
Hookworms twisting a metaphor
Apprehension is fleeting, so I'll stray a while
Discomforts concealed to a plastic smile
And I'm always right back here like I was never gone
Is this truly the only place I can belong
Ever and ever again,
My face will mirror yours
My own names forever lost inside your eyes and I'm changing now
Virtues ******* with these lies
Maggots swimming to the back my mind
They speak, but only criticize
I detach
But we cannot diffuse
Narssasistic ego continues to refuse
Vague
Benign
Awakened in my mind
I've exhausted so many moons grieving you
Now I'm Mortified,
And this forgotten heart is just rotting in my hands
This is no happenstance...
Former flame, unlawful foe
Is it better to love the devil you know
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