GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST

Pixar could nada pay enough
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz
so I wonder if any chance
   hello Morris the tender vittles

commercial kitty cat whisker of employment
thru contrived virtual toy story
   qua ratatouille poetic brew
could materialize into a likely chance

such outcome would generate me
   to shrek out with excitement and dance
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists
   for this self anointed bard,

   who dislikes formality
   of Schwenksville, Pennsylvania,
   now presents technical skills,
   I wooly cotton to enhance

this chap offers poetic expression
   common in differ france
     so take a glance
to help this intuitive **** sapiens
   sharp pen mental acuity like lance

which byte size bit torrent humor
   might cause ye to soil pants
after misinterpreting mishmash
   as raven shrieking twittering rants

even part time income would buoy positive stance
subtle intent to place me as worth hiring,
   with mop pa trick sway zee
   au currant electronic charge hypnotic trance
in consideration to ad-vance.

I betcha never read a pseudo cover letter reply
   like this iambic pentameter electronic wire
from a boyish looking blood muggle father up in years
   (whose nonpareil courage

   to face Voldemort never does tire)
deux darling northern belles,
   would consider him a worthy hire
less to rake in gobs of money,

   but to satiate unquenchable hunger and thirst
   for further bits of computer
   know how to acquire
in tandem aim to present the write stuff.

This faux pas whey to ripple eye conveys an itty bitty
     raw bit size actual work experience
(from this chap, who lives (Kenye bull heave
   ~ 40 miles north
   west of the Philadelphia city) via dashing car
nonetheless, i hanker (NOT to be confused with HACKER

though offset by merely one different third letter)
   prompts the following ditty
per computer trouble (making)
   and shooting abilities

   some may ascribe as nitty gritty
on par with the secret life of Walter Mitty
whom destiny protected and took pity
meant to be silly, yet also attempt to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car
(your company might be
   within dead man walking distance)
   this opportunity would not be considered to far
hoops responding in rhyme
   being considered nada mar

gin hilly atypical to use ecumenical interest
   and technologically spar
using graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might not constitute
   traditional genre for a debtor
no reason why my non-establishmentarianism
     cannot serve as me own mode to communicate pursuit
     as computer repair technician go getter,
which honest to goodness confession
   hopefully affects responsiveness a bit better.

This pure breed mud half blood muggle prince
bona fide seeker for challenging income
   does reckon poetic way
not necessarily follows formalities
   to reply most would readily say

why adhere to conformity,
   whereby paradigm frowns on creative hoo ray
which atypical modus operandi
   viz positive reply and job i pray
even if interest turns out to be nay
mien hometown nada abbott may
cost 'hello far west where Philadelphia lay.

The resume (quite slim as jail grub gruel –
an extended hiatus taken
   for medical reasons) shows dearth,
yet versed inducing byte size mirth
of requisite technical expertise,
   i do possess attributes well worth.

If you might allow me to boast
and blithely use rhyme without reason to coast
given cents and sense ability opportunity to eradicate
Re: exorcise any binary elusive ghost
and offer bytes of helpful information from pc host
with brio and confidence, i respond to your post.

Without further ado, i will slightly brag
to tell of ability to conduct understand dos
manage common system utilities (non passe)
   such as scan disk and defrag

installed, resolved dsl issues, performed
scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches
   such as removal of dos files, installation
and/or removal of hardware

   likewise uninstalling software,
   running registry sweeps
   in an attempt to remove bugs and errors
   mice, or roaches, that cause machine
   to cough and gag

invariably impede processes
   as downloading, sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
and if chance smiles on further consideration
like a happy pup his tail will wag.

Oh...and by the way i would accept a starting
negotiable/competitive salary as starting wage
to support this self proclaimed sage
whose role can double up
   as court jester, joker, or page

hopeful this poetic synopsis
   offers favorable gauge
in tandem enriching fount of know
   ledge valuable at any advancing age.

Y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot
which may matter Bo diddly squat
no matter i herald from royalty
   with salient strengths being prestigious Scott
butta masta Harris

Does not smoke ***** nor drink from a chamber ***
a student of the establishment he is not
yet ad foxy, hocks moxie by proxy, this poet doth got
might elicit salient characteristics similar to humanoid bot
and, oh by the way, I lived
   in montgomery county, penna for some years quite a lot.

Dune not be bashful, grumpy, leery
   or any other contemporary dwarf man
even countless less well known dwarves
   (that never got a chance
   to play a bit part) such as wham

bam
thank you ma'am
linkedin with emergence
   of Internet and poetry slam
opportunities availed by Uncle Sam

which characters (albeit fiction)
   nonetheless, helped spawn a quiet yet free
   global, radically riotous,
   totally tubular transformation

   affecting a societal and human specie
but not credited contributing
   to paradigm seismic shift that garnered tree
mend us plenti fully birthed,
   impacted and transformed how wii

(more particularly many gifted minds)
   bridged geographical distance
(encompassing all four corners
   of the Earth) to enhance

what came to be called the world wide web,
   digital strong armed lance
information super high,  "Cyber Revolution",
   etc allowing  one to prance

and essentially transcend reality to brook
   commanding, commingling, communicating, hook
   line and sinker, et cetera
   with an excellent access and out look
reaching the most distant cranny and nook.

This (bit a bing chitty bang)
   manifestation toward
exponentially faster processing capacities
   more powerful than pen or sword
(based on principles of Moore’s Law), reward
electronically solidifying
   binary unification swiftly tail lord

engenders greater dependence and reliance
   figuratively shrinking the drinking gourd
allowing far flung aliens, family,
   friends, et cetera to ford

great distances via sophisticated electronics
   courtesy of super smart mother board
enabling ever more complex
   electronic contrivances
   the generic **** Sapien gibbon could afford.

Analogous to Medieval Age
this quiet ***** riot creation
   vis a vis Internet did un cage
actual overcoming physical barriers
   ushered Hall mark gauge
marked by Computer/Digital Age odyssey),

   especially sharing pixillated page
at light speed, where the ordinary individual
   could keep in contact )
   albeit with every now and again
   a bit torrent rage

and in some instances tapping
   smarts of a preschooler considered a sage
which kindergarten lad/lass
   commandeered a handsome wage

whereat the parental figure did cajole, wheedle or beg
their wealthy progeny promising
   son/ daughter of a healthy nest egg
stored money in Swiss bank accounts or hollow leg
perhaps christened jpeg
or if an avid weekly reader of Moby **** Queequeg

who felt incorporeal storied power
   of Herman Melville as zen unseen aid
instructing hypothetic rich kid to drop out of school
   before his/her first grade
coz of all the money he/she made

which affected modus operandi rendered obsolete
   child worker laws
   and no sweat of brow getting paid
people used bitcoin (or other online currency)
   additionally making purchases
   with scant keystrokes to complete a trade.

As with any major dramatically novel scheme
light bulb idea scribbled on napkin
   scrap of paper
   via cheesy or whipped cream
originating as a flash in the pan
   aha eureka moment, or dream

as rough blue print subsequently
   underwent beta testing,
   before declaring pc innovation supreme
whereby outstanding persons in the tech industry
   clamored to join Kidde team.

Whether seventh day add vent
   hissed or other religious creed
powerful binary processing
   impacted near
   earth shaking incarnation indeed
and ramifications in all walks
   and talks of life sought expert need.

Coven chanting children murmured Luddites be ******!

Thus spake Zarathustra (cue the opening scene
from Planet of the Apes)
   upon witnessing as if king or queen
(in reality father or mother)
   didst get immediately

   dethroned thus, increasing mean
average positive
   effects on society, especially lean
microchip i.e. integrated circuitry

   miniaturization "green"
technology (and eventual
   attendant affordable price)
   viz said trappings

   unleashed upon global market
   invited absolute zero dust, a must clean
as a whistle work space,
   and manufacturers laboratory be microbe free
   hermetically sealed vacuumed "clean".

Countless portable machines
   unbeknownst soon epithet florid hack
   coining impromptu called cyber crime
especially as majority proportion of population
   didst purchase these dime,

a doze in countless "end users"
   snapped up these smart machines
   excitedly keyed away indifferent to gunk
on unwashed hands
   plus bits of food particles

   eventually caking hardware with grime
(eventually necessitating technician
   charging gobs of moolah
   sans to unstitch in time.

Gooey glop getting suctioned out
   technicians venting expletives
   emphasized obvious
   NO FOOD OR DRINK rule to abide
cuz suctioning tower

   or laptop presented vulnerability
   plus unforeseen downfall against fried
food and greasy hands ended up hide
ding in hardest to reach locale
   on circuit board no matter how expert pried

yelling out gratitude
   to geek squad member helping
   before he/she went out side door
eagerly awaiting

   remotely controlled self driving vehicle
   transporting techie guru home
   to an obscure gated destination,
   an uninterrupted distant, yet pleasant ride.

eventually amateurs encouraged
   to tinker like an apprenticed tailor
   akin as raw troubleshooting recruit
   oft playfully feigned to be soldier spy

pretending to repair bowel of computer
   when in truth visiting supposed shadowing dark side
   which lined illegal benefits of labor saving devices),
the sound of silence
(written on the subway walls)

though heretics opposing
   latest technology and felt sinister chill
(just ask Punxsutawney Phil),
the Internet ranks as greatest dog sent rill

lee where wiz kids ranked
   chatting killer apps with grateful dead
   information superhighway as heavenly manna
   with artificial intelligence street cred
since introduction of white bread
and powdered milk biscuits baked by Ahmed.

preface: prays of purse filled legal tender
this ****** NOT ******
   (hue coward know who eye mean)
   hie do attest

that poetry may not be best
to express whoosh to chest
*** a lee till bitta chump change
boot overpowering literary force 

   to pocket earning for a grange
(hmm...who knows maybe
   formerly owned by Jessica Lange 
thence might be within my financial range
even though this har chap 
   decades older than college student - iz that strange?
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
GAINFUL EMPLOYMENT QUEST --- or
subtitled IN PRAYS OF LEGAL TENDER.

Let this dog gone prime mate ova simian sketch out 
   his general doggerel to free
unleashing a swiftly tale lord 
   of the flies - harried styled brush stroke of strengths
me retracted claws, which might find me 

   barking up the wrong tree arf find yarself
cat a tonic taking a nap - 
   in the land of doctor ah zee.

akin to a termite expending energy 
   thru wood to bore search sans income 
   an arduous slow book king chore thus,
   i spruce quest per 
   my non-conformist poetic je ne sais quois x cell lent 
   cover letter de jour 4u2 access and for me 

   to entertain as a minimum less or more
and then...whoosh
   into circular filing cabinet ye will store
this non-formal reap ply, 
   which email will take cyberspace tour.

Pixar could nada pay enough 
   for this trainer of apple chomping antz 
so i wonder if any chance 
   whisker of employment 
vis a vis thru this contrived virtual toy story 

   qua ratatouille poetic brew 
could materialize opening virtual community chest 
   into a likely monopoly winning chance 
such an idea generates me 

   to shrek out with excitement n contra dance 
just in case a glimmer of some prospect exists 
for this self anointed bard, who dislikes formality
presents a brief poo whet tick summation
   sans technical skills, he hopes to enhance 

p'raps earn enough moolah to see arc d'triumph, 
 Louvre, Paris France i offer
   the following poetic expression 
   for ye to take a glance 
and help this intuitive **** sapiens income
   to expand and en-hance, 

which byte size bit torrent humor 
   without use of strong arm, nor lance
   might cause ye to soil pants 
after misinterpreting mishmash 
   as some rave and rants 
  
part time con sit hard so positive stance 
   a subtle intent worth hiring, 
   2 sway au currant series electronic charge 
and ideally affect hypnotic trance.

betcha never red a poe sting like this faux 
   iambic pentameter electronic wire 
   from boyish looking blood muggle 
   father up in years (whose nonpareil courage 
   to face voldemort never does tire) 

and two grown girls 
   would consider him a worthy hire 
to rake in gobs of legal tender,
   satiating unquenchable hunger 
   hunger game of thrones,
   and thirst qua knowledge = powerful
for bits of computer know how to acquire.

this cover letter of sorts conveys
   teensy weensy, itty bitty 
byte size actual work experience 
   (this older mister rhyme stir 
   lives northwest of philadelphia city) 

kenye bull heave that,
   nonetheless, i hanker 
   (NOT  confused with HACKER)
   though disparate deeds offset
   by difference of third letter 
to employ computer and writing skills, 

   + rooted tid bits of moxie playing at nearby Roxy 
burrow, which prompts the following ditty 
express interest to apply mental tasks
   ala computer trouble shooting 
some may ascribe as nitty gritty 

on par with secret life of Walter Mitty 
whom destiny protected and took pity 
this merely meant to be silly 
   yet also attempted to be witty.

No matter how many miles by car 
(actual company might be within dead
   man walking distance) 
   opportunity not be considered to far 

using acumen huck cull interest 
   and technologically spar 
+ graphical user interface programs
   to get unstuck from virtual feathery tar.

Iambic pentameter might be faux pas
   not the traditional standard genre 
   for a cover letter 
i see no reason why 
   non-conformist modus operandi 
cannot serve as mode

   to communicate pursuit viz philologist technician 
   and paperback writer wannabe, 
   cuz i love each english language letter,
which honest to goodness confession 
   hopefully offers unique outlook re: 
   other respondents at least a bit better.

this pure breed mud half blood muggle prince 
born (whom most think me full o hogwash 
   to *** rid of hog wort) - yea 
truth seeker for employment reckons
   the following poetic way 

not necessarily follows formalities 
   to reply would readily say, 
yet why adhere to conformity, 
   which paradigm frowns on creativity 
atypical modus operandi to reply

   positive job offer i pray 
even if outcome per offering interest 
   turns out to be nay 
perhaps because where mien hometown 
   west of philadelphia lay
boot methinks tis cuz mine longish
   wavy hair follicles fifty shades of gray.

no employment vitae shows dearth 
hence decided to resort - thou add verse 
   to induce a byte size mirth 
of requisite (sought after) technical expertise,
   possessing attributes FitBit wool worth consideration --

   so just allow me to boast 
blithely riding iambic pentameter to coast 
given opportunity to eradicate
re: exorcise binary electronic bookworm 
   even Casper the friendly ghost 

n offer bytes of helpful information from pc host 
information technology position tacked on fence post 
with sought after salary goal fair n equitably per year 
would necessitate celebration 
   tete a tete vis a vis teetotaler toast.

So...without further ado, i slightly brag 
telling ability to conduct understand bit size crag
reckon obsolete intricacies such as dos 
    passé, and hardly requisite material,
   i learned to manage 
   common system utilities 
   such as scan disk and defrag 

installed and resolved dsl issues,
   performed scan-disk and troubleshooting glitches 
removal of dos files, installation 
   and/or removal of hardware 
uninstalling software, running registry sweeps 

attempting to remove bugs and errors
   causing machine to cough and gag, 
which invariably causes processes
   as downloading, sending, uploading, et cetera to lag
if chance smiles on consideration --
   a happy go lucky dog this tail will wag.

oh...by the way, i would accept a starting 
and/or negotiable salary as a starting wage 
in an effort to support this self proclaimed sage 
whose role can double up as a court jester, 
   Batman joker, or jimmy john page 

hopeful this poetic synopsis 
   offers favorable gauge 
in tandem enriching fount of knowledge
   More valuable at this advanced age.

y'all might think this reply balderdash and rot 
which may matter on par bo diddly squat 
no matter i herald from skid row royalty
   with salient strengths being prestigious Scott 
**** tuckus, butta Matthew Harris 

   does not smoke ***** 
   nor drink from a *** 
and a student he is not 
nor a gentleman quarterly kennedyesque fellow
   who would be called really hot 

yet moxie by proxy this poet of doth got 
and might elicit salient characteristics 
   similar to a humanoid heterosexual bot 
and, oh by the way, i lived in lower merion 
   for some years that = quite alot.

This from - a generic johnny 
   come lately jim crow chee 
can tackle the junkyard dawg, 
   while trump petting, swaggering, 
   rollicking with rod ham 
   pomp *** city but,

who **** house trained 
   and can use snout to play putt putt 
plus extricate moss elf from tread full rut.

this sub woofer snapper papa pooch, 
though scrawny and essentially 
   a generic mixed breed
   bowled with dennis the menace 
   plus jeff and mutt 

an older dog gone college alumni 
   of hard knocks
   relied on powder milk bone dog biscuits 
   to hone courage, and overcome shyness 
   (predominant among norwegian 
   bachelor farmers canine pets)

this diet of powdered raw bit, 
   weighed heavy in my gut 
thus, i conclude air rating whims 
   hoop ping this passes windy muster 
   and makes the cut
if nyat - dag nabbit rab but.

With you my heart is home
With which brilliance and beauty roam
Where dream is filled with fulfilling hope

Without you I’m broken, leaked, deceased
Call the doctor, plumber, the priest
No amount of troubleshooting can get me fix

With you I’m strong and powerful
With you by my side; I cannot fail
Coz you’re the fuse to light my veins

Without you I'm low on oxygen
Like my life is a leaked cardboard box
Without stars to burn out the void

With you I’m a poet
The whole world knows
For his inspiring quotes

Without you I’m a writer
Struggling to find words
To describe his hoards

With you I’m the moon
Surrounded by sparking stars
Lighting the way through the dark

Without you I’m the sun
Burning with grieve
All that come close would turn liquid

With you I’m a genee
My achievement has no limit
The sky? No
It’s just a stepping stone

Without you I’m stuck
Wandering without home
Lost in the black hole

With you I’m a god
Controlling creatures like joy and rich
All wants and needs are at my reach

Without you I’m a man
Living in a hive
Striving to survive

With you I’m an astronauts
Exploring galaxies
Enjoying life’s fantasies

Without you I’m stranded
Filthy and paralyzed
Tactless and distrategised

With you I’m a blessed soul
Happiness and joy are things I own
Because I’m a star at heart
No obstacles dares cross my path

Without you I’m incomplete
Without you I see nothing
Without you I feel nothing
Without you I’m without me

We create,
We destroy,
Troubleshooting
We enjoy.

(Garden yourself and Emmanuel
against risking life and limb,
especially as dark shadows edge -
of night bring dim
mention onset of when shifting shapes swim
all around reducing slice
of daylight slim).

I write thee today
September 13th, 2019 -
nuttin earth shattering to say
documenting
starttime: 05:51:22 PM
and endtime: 07:06:44 PM
no particular rhyme, nor reason

merely hello, and
whatever words fingers may
strike,née
gently press hoop Philly I do convey
sense and sensibility feel play
full of late, hmm... unsure perhaps, cuz Abby
and me exchange increasing more civil letty.

Oh... no... no... no... no need for concern,
no matter we almost bid thee adieu
when me and "mother"
turned about fifty

plus shades of grayish blue
believe me you
absolute zero heat issued out HVAC
(heating, ventilation, air conditioning) vent

haint "FAKE news" but totally tubular true
honest to dog, no matter yours truly
bundled with bajillion layers Matt chew
unable to shake off cold -

at mercy of the missus whose shrew
whoosh reply 'pon asking her to tidy up
unwittingly found papa
with comfortable numbskull.

Count yourself lucky livingsocial in
(I believe that city ye told
San Francisco, California - yes)
as brutal cold
Tri county area took descent,
and kept in full nelson hold
into low double digit - lock hold

(record, dvd, cd... breaking) temperatures,
of course upon activating central heat
with gnarled fingers that did fold
nothing, but cool air as iterated above,
how convenient, yea dada
felt and appeared frozen
analogous to popsicle mold.

Until couple hours ago
summoned waning strength... whew
flagged Kevin (one man
maintenance crew),
whose adept and adroit cue

wing (whoops repetitive redundant no-no)
his knowledge and drew
comparison with mine papa
quick identification troubleshooting
burnt circuit board instinctively knew,

hence appreciation at skill
(recalling countless years ague
Zayda also gentrified
approximately half dozen
properties in Norristown

aside from role of Aerospace
engineer at General Electric, which
corporate America he loathed
before he opted early retirement,
and bid Jack Welch adieu.

By George, I Shaw hoop
ye considered this buzzfeed
ding gobbledygook to carrion pleasantness,
i.e. poetic letter tolerable
(argh... maybe even enjoyable) reed.

look forward to your birthday viz hit
maybe ye will share -
even a teensy weensy little bit
some details describing
your assignments most likely
a no brainer with your wit.

Suffering permanent anatomical
disfigurement, nonetheless
maintaining marital bliss
at steep price despite more or less
musculoskeletal dislocation,
I eagerly, readily willingly confess.

Ideal for someone whose height
trends toward above average
unless you don't object tilting
head back in an effort to gauge
keeping noggin cocked
at ninety degree angle tempering rage.

Yours truly gifted with absolute zero
vertical advantage, hence
mine neck craned back imposing
unpleasant strain forcing gent's
head apropos regarding yours truly
futile attempt present instance.

Carotid arteries perfectly positioned
awaiting Jack Ripper's (imposter) knife
thus mine noodle (property
Matthew Scott) induced physical strife
discomfort courtesy directly
linkedin viz the ole hen pecking wife.

Without complaint, I dutifully accepted
challenge to affix curtain
(essentially meant to keep
shower water splashing bathroom floor)
unbeknownst that threading
a camel thru eye of needle sewing pin

Would be a cinch, but such
blessed lesson acquired thru hindsight
initial task assigned me appeared
straight forward until I saw light
bulbs blind me myopic orbs,
thus in addition to afore stated plight...

Husband material (me) sorely
tested to the max, no matter chore
hardly commenced, which
spurred mental note to refrain pointing
at cumulative mold accretion
heavily visible and unsightly eye sore.

Arch disadvantage, yours truly
not being impressive or particularly tall
and thought not to retrieve sturdy
furniture to boost reach heavenly pole
which plastic hooks suspended
plastic shower curtain over long haul.

Upon figuring out how drape like
appurtenance got held in place crick
would necessitate chiropractor
to realign permanently bent poise kick
started when initially troubleshooting
deceptively easy task, no quick

assignment, though obviously
fashioning plastic hook thru pre cut slot
became clear at expense unintentionally
breaking off "J" portion not
possible to avoid subsequently
uselessly rendered hook even if robot
programmed to complete mission,
yet all told poetically smarts I got.

Please accept lame attempt (minus
obvious sensibility) to comprehend
anybody who reads previous literary
endeavors considered virtual friend
unconditionally accepts trademark

swiftly tailored harried style I extend
utilizing all manner of quirkiness,
which moost likely spells mein legend
after I pass from temporal plain,
a posthumous johnny come lately bend

ding formalities of English language
writing, yet wondering what strictures
disallow experimenting with poetic genre,
though methinks literature intend
did (art in general) to eternally evolve

without deliberate intention to offend
any die hard who might call upon
men in white suits and briskly recommend
to the funny farm, where life made
more beautiful perchance receiving stipend.

Gazing mind
Troubleshooting wind undefined
Overnight

.


.

are you lost, little dreamer?
have you counted all the sheep
but still,
your mind wanders through
the nothingness?

here's to you, little dreamer
here's to your continuous efforts
trying to build a rainbow
beneath all the storms that come through

here's to the water in your eyes
trying to let loose
every time you hear those three words,
"are you ok?"

here's to the days and nights
troubleshooting yourself,
without any manual
or even instructions

hi there, little dreamer
i am you, too
finish lines aren't always easy to be seen
but someday,
we'll get ours.

i promise.