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Everyone has a flight or fight reaction but I just tend to freeze
I hope they hear my jagged breath when I try to breathe
The fight inside has torn my mind more than they can
and the more I fly from the fight the less I understand
so freeze me in this immortal struggle and take me as I come
I'm afraid I cannot change and if I do I may come undone
a mind like mine gets lost in time as a war rages around
the definition of attrition reduces my hope to be found
and the more I scream my lungs bleed choking out the sound
an eternal tug of war between my will to stand and the ground
Hunter Taylor May 29
Please let me lose
Lose the ability to breathe
Or the ability to see
The will to keep fighting
This overbearing sea
I want a reason to exist
Or quite the opposite
I want to ******* die
But i dont want to quit
I want to finally be done
with all of this ****
Like theres still a reason for any of it
Please give me a simple way out
A train to derail and hit me in the mouth
Why cant i head north
when everything goes south
I'm lost in space while sitting on the couch
And its not my ******* fault
but i cant catch myself when i fall
I'm climbing up walls
I'm afraid are to tall
I built inside my head when i lost it all
All work and no play
seems to make up my days
as I slave away
to a concaved system of change
I wanted to grow up until I didn't
and there's a demon on my shoulder just sitting
making my outlook is bleak which is fitting
but don't mind me he claims I'm just sipping
a drink to help me think
as I blink
the world fades
into a stage
a masquerade
where we all stay
in the void
it's a ploy
that we convince ourselves is fine
if I had a dime
for every time
that I claimed I could fly
I would lift my wings and do so
Hunter Taylor Apr 25
I've never ridden one
but I am familiar with Camels

I've never been there
but I see Hell when I close my eyes

you don't see me
but I wish you would move out of my mind

please just go
the closer you get the further away you feel

I still talk to myself
the more I do the more I understand

you don't know me now
but I don't think you ever tried
the first lines make a valley, the second lines make a mountain
Hunter Taylor Apr 18
The past is an opaque glass
something I can see but never get through
the longer I look the less I see
but no matter when I look I find you

this universe is centered around my feet
revolving creating dust from stone
nothing I see is from your eyes
and knowing I never will, hits cold bone

my feet only run as fast as my legs
but my stamina controls them too
A thick fog inside my ill and blinding mind
I breathe in smoke hoping to make it though
Hunter Taylor Apr 16
sometimes when I write
the words are a struggle
but other long nights
they only cause trouble
burning holes like they're running in place
barely keeping still as if ready for a race
barely containing themselves behind my swollen face
broken and ****** and so full of disgrace
***** and lonesome like old mattress stains
and yet I still envy those who are not me

wouldn't you?
Hunter Taylor Apr 16
I'm not *** but I know what it's like to hide
to keep a door closed to whatever is inside
to be ashamed and afraid for no good reason
to lose yourself causing you to commit treason

but the broken are beautiful as the weak hide
those that were the cause of our demise
like ants under a glass with nowhere to run
karma comes for all of us no matter how dumb
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