TODAY
Well today could have been our anniversary
Today....I would have dressed just for you
Today, I would have written you a poem or a love letter, maybe both
Today...I would..
But today marks 634 days since you broke my heart
634 days since I found you in her arms
Today, could have been our anniversary,but instead... today serves as a reminder of my foolishness and immaturity.

I had you were getting married
And oh, thank you for asking
If I was "okay" with it, like my opinion ever mattered
And thanks for the apology,but I think it's too late
It was too late  the moment I caught you
And oh thanks for the invite..
What a blissful reunion it would be if I showed up at your wedding

Today, exactly 634 days ago,I slit my wrists
I felt at peace as I bled
I found peace in my dark thoughts
But today 634 days ago,I was saved by my mother
And I realized she had raised me better
That I was never really in love with you,I was in love with a version of you that you switched on when you wanted to get laid
That I deserved better.

Today, today...my therapist gave me a punching bag with your face on it
She asked me to hit hard to let go of all my anger
But today I realized it wasn't worth it, you weren't worth it
Today I realized I owed myself an apology for my stupidity
For trying to **** myself
For putting you before me
Today... could have been our anniversary but am glad it isn't
Cause today...I realized am glad I lost you