To the girl who will one day take my last name
I want to tell you that you look beautiful,
Beautiful like in the way the summer sun bends around the north pole because it refuses to set its constant and lasting
Just like the way my heart jumped the moment i saw you for the first time and it has refused to come down
Everytime since, when i see you, although i have never been much of a dreamer, i daydream about all the things i want to do to you like...
Make you smile... or blush
So that my daydreams will have the perfect backdrop of love to memorize your every freckle, and then i want to drink the smile i put on your face beause i know it is the only thing that can quench my thirst
I want to tell you that I want to learn ballet, just so i can catch you everytime you jump and make sure that ill never let you fall... unless it's for me...
I want to learn to draw
Because I want to draw my way into your life, van gogh my way into your past present and future, i want to spend my whole life with you, and on your dying day i want to roundhouse kick death for even thinking of taking you away from me
But most of all i want to make you... happy
Happy in a way that is unexplainable
Like why do birds suddenly appear everytime you are near
It would be to easy to say that just like me they long to be close to you
And i want it to be unexpected like when you fall asleep after a long day
Slowely at first and then it engulfs you completely
I want to tell you that I want you to be able to feel the sunlights warm caress even on the darkest of days
And on days when you can't see the stars in the night sky
I will cut stars out of my paper heart
Even though they always seem to rip when held in hands that aren't careful enough
and then I want to hang them from your ceiling
So you will always have something beautiful to look at
And if you would just notice me I promise that I can love you like that...
But instead when I finally noticed that you caught me staring at you about 15 minutes ago... I opened my mouth and instead of all the soliloquies that dance through my head whenever you saunter into a room all that came out was hi.....
I think it was a good start.

Softly flowing
Soaring higher
Carried on the gentlest breeze

Pale pink shade
Smooth as silk
Slowly falling from the trees

Gently blowing
Round and round
Twirling, swirling to and fro

Just in spring
With sunlights touch
Will cherry blossoms grow

The Kraken

by Alfred, Lord Tennyson

Below the thunders of the upper deep;
Far far beneath in the abysmal sea,
His ancient, dreamless, uninvaded sleep
The Kraken sleepeth: faintest sunlights flee
About his shadowy sides; above him swell
Huge sponges of millennial growth and height;
And far away into the sickly light,
From many a wondrous grot and secret cell
Unnumber'd and enormous polypi
Winnow with giant arms the slumbering green.
There hath he lain for ages, and will lie
Battening upon huge seaworms in his sleep,
Until the latter fire shall heat the deep;
Then once by man and angels to be seen,
In roaring he shall rise and on the surface die.

Memories like you dont always shine true.
Nor do old places hold that magic.
In a life so short.
That seems so traggic.

Im thinking of forever  while slowley fading  away.
Oh such clear thinking  on a cloudy day.

A summer ago is when we met.
So far now it seems.
Yet the still my heart holds no regret.

The poetry you inspired apon this very page.
Is ment to complment a love without age.

Early morning memories that you've lent.
Is simpley a dream of time well spent.

A dark sky hides the sunlights ray.
Such is the clear thinking on such
a cloudy day.

Im not blind yet for years  
hope has went unseen.
Sometimes age can taint a sweet dream.

Turning bitter the once colorful
fruit.
Killing wonder straight at the root.

A love like our's has kept with change.
And grown in definance.
Like a silly game.
We formed this this passion swept Alliance.

First with love you must blindly fall.
Then you must try to run when you
can bareley crawl.

To outlast the storms is to stand against the wind.
To ignor friends and to put trust in
a stranger and depend.

Many thoughts run through my head.
In the early morning as she lay against me
in bed.

A heart has many rivers a soul is a endless sea.
As we apart we are caged.
While togather we are free.

From this loves eternal bliss  my heart should never
stray.
As i sit clear is my thinking on such a  cloudy day.

When darkness creeps

She seems to die in the night, 

Laying her head down to rest. 

Accepting the surreal world she 

Sometimes doesn’t remember.

It isn’t exactly a place of death,

Where she stays each night. 

Yet, each morning she is reborn

As the sunlights stretches into her room,

Acknowledging it doesn’t take all day

To find the purpose of its glow.

The sunlights shadow gleams upon your face,
as if God had crafted it himself,
yet he took longer than just six days,
because you were not some model on the shelf...
Your skin stole what smoothness silk once had,
and your hair rolls like thunder off your shoulders
your voice would make birds jealous and mad,
while I merely listen and crave.
I hunger for your words to fill me,
fill my love's insatiable thirst,
to hold me is to set me free,
but I must find you first.

Amidst the redwoods finite upward stretch,
streams of light grace darkened ground
where golden beams and deepened greens together catch
the promise of new sapling can be found.

Between these giants’ towering cast
that sovereign sunlights aid,
mighty limbs direct where any rain might pass,
and whether light gives way to shade.

His feeble roots take what they may,
with time enough to grasp only shallow sheet of earth.
And though by slightest breeze he’ll fro and sway,
he takes protection by his elders timely girth.

And, if looked upon by eyes with mind that couldn't know,
it may seem these ancient elder trees never had to, like the sapling grow.
For the way they stand against wind and gale it might serve as a surprise,
that they hadn’t always stood that way, that they like sapling, had to rise.

It was by passing years their rugged hide is earned and just.
And while saplings' leafy shade may be a lighter green,
and though his tawny bark be invisible to their upward eyes as of thus,
against the elders' ever richer jade, lest by my gaze, he can be seen.

Moons pass while sapling takes only what his patriarchs bestow,
It’s with patience he waits for the dusky day that he too shall finally grow.

Then all at once- he reaches and, with casted shadow of his own,
no more is he cloaked by his elders grander silhouette.
Alas, his quiet presence is timely to them shown,
they will see this sapling yet!

Even when the fast windtoppled the old and looming tree outside,the one I used as shelter from the days of different sunlights,I noticed the strong double doors of the barn,where I kept the machinery,standing firmly closed--they were held with bolted hinges and metal strapsthat kept the splinters from happening.I was standing on the inside,staring out through the ***** windows,trying to figure out the difference between hurricane and breeze.And although the rafters above me were creaking, and I knewthey would soon collapse down and **** me, for now, they were betterthan the weather outside.And as long as the tractor has enough oil in its workings, its gas tank filledup and its tired inflated, as long as the harvester's blades are at their sharpestand the batteries are charged every weekend, I know that when I go outside,that when I do, the work's going be done...Yes, when I go outside, when I do, the work's going to be done...

I don’t fear loneliness, I embrace it.
I have befriended the time I spend alone.
It weaves itself in and out of me,
Between each of my hairs
And worms itself into the sinews of my heart.
I have made peace with my loneliness.
Deep in the darkness of night
I whisper what seems like to myself
But actually to tell the loneliness about my day,
Who I saw, and how I noticed it didn’t enjoy my day with me.
“My love,”
It croons, searching its way through the maze of my ear
Each syllable resonating in my fading conscious,
“You must live your sunlights without me walking by your side.
I will always exist next to you,
But I know I am easily replaced
And eventually you won’t even think of me deep in the darkness of night.”
The loneliness drew fear and sadness from my soul.
I believed I needed it to survive. It was innate for me to want it.
As the tears glistened on my forlorn-stained hair
And pain seeped into the beats of my abandoned heart,
I tried to get ahold of the loneliness,
Further flowing into the grooves of my palm and blanketing my shuddering body;
When in reality I was simply curled around a pillow
Wishing my friend, my loneliness, would leave me
Alone.

.         window long and flat
       only just so wide sunlights
            coffin sunlight dies
                         
            but one sky for both
  moon and sun amongst the stars
             the war's little fun
            
            come on you lovely
     shun baby rising cloud clown
          do your fire, blind me

Bathing in sunlights golden glow
My chest is hollow
Breaths sinking in duranged seas of self pity
Black holes reflecting no emotion in my skull
That twinkle in my eyes been lost
I took it from myself
I break it every day
Conscience gone
What have I become
I'll never forget this day
The day I lost my humanity
The day I knew I wasn't supposed to be here
Burry me in my mistakes
In my misguided intentions
In tears shed for my name
Drown me with them
Pouring this sickness down my throat
Fill this empty vessel with it
In hopes that I don't reject it
In hopes that I can one day
Know the warmth I missed out on
Bathing in sun lights golden glow
Oblivious to my surroundings
To my peers
Restore me
Or let me lay here until night falls
And I can rest helpless
In soft decay

ever is where?
I am at it
      I never have seen
a ridge where night
touches the dew- or
     sunlight glows
on both the day and you.

There I sat upon
   a ledge teetering
fearing heights
              and the depths of darkness
     below. Tottered
down upon spoiled grounds.

Ever is where-  over a hill?
    may we ever see
sun glints-
      on green
      eyes
strong trees,
          sowing seeds
in sunlights.

At first I was just a simple stranger,
Casting shadows in the dark,
And it was hidden from you,
The danger
And soon we became friends,
And the morning summer sun did strike and create a spark,
Thinking back I should have probably kept my tongue in check ,
You were a wreck I could see, a gallant ocean liner, with an engine fire causing the guests to flee
But soon After, you were what I thought would be a lover,
I could tell you were nothing like anyone other
But beneath a blanket I did smother, the morning summer sunlights spark
You will now soon be the boss, so that thin line of professional we will never cross
Again
If I can't love you as a lover, I will love you as my friend
My resting head beneath your wood is just a passing trend
And I won't see you as often sooner then later, but perhaps trampling feet can allow you to see something greater l,
Know you won't but, maybe
You'll miss me just as much as I know ill miss you and your morning face,

you were the most beautiful devil
that hell has sent me
darling you were the best
you were the ******* pain
that i’ll always want
that i’d rather be miserable
than lose you all over again
but now you are gone
and i’m just an angel lost in earth
don’t know where to find your smile
don’t know where to find your voice
your scent, your figure, your laughs
i don’t know where it is anymore
when i walk to the old places i feel cold
when i come back to our conversations
i feel warmth, i feel love
and all sorts of butterfly in my stomach
and if heart is a puzzle, i’d be incomplete
i’d be just a standing piece waiting for you
to complete the voids that you’ve patched up
from the sweet words
to the affectionate gestures
i’ll be honest missing you
is killing me, and letting you go made me die
everyday tears run down my cheeks
sunlights don’t shine anymore
rain hits me, and then
i was strucked by the lightning of sorrows
i kept coming closer to your fire
but where are you?
where the hell am i suppose to look?
should go back?
no one’s going to replace you,
the first pain of thy heart
the first of everything in fifteen,
you were not my regret
but you were my rotten daisy
forever remembered but thrown away in the ocean
but always remember that wherever you are
i always think about how happy we were
but it’s such a loss,
that our fate is parallel,
only strangers that met but never really cross.

5 am and i got no ghosts here
my host
her boast
with martini and charie'
Were something outta a
dream
I ****** with
                        form
And she ****** right
                                     back
There's no way to ever have nature
When she'll eventually get you back
A tax of eternity was the way I was seeing things
With envelopes unaddressed to lover's I've yet to meet
With the heroines still musing
About dragons and angels
And swords that ring freedom
But are sheathed for the season
Can we see what it means
When Simone used to breath?
With her pianos all in heaps
Her feelings upon her hands and knees
Queen of the ragged, the down on the luck and poor
Streets pour their tears forevermore
There was something in a voice that was broken and cold
Yes there was something in the sight
Of a tree with dying moss
O' time you pass so quick and of course we say we miss
The way that the young one's muse
About the first pains of love's drift
How they force me to stare at walls white with worry
Tiresome and bored with their sorrowful purrings
Like a cat musing
In the sunlights music
How great it was when I screamed at a moon naked **** with **** all out!
Get over this love that so many have been screaming about!
See the illusion of the movin' trucks on the open highway
These dollar machines are stirring with the lack of a souls blurr
Get down to the grit
Get that fix
Sound with a horn made out of Jesus's crown
For the memories of the future have forgotten you already
And the man that made his money
Is planning his honey moon with his honey
While your lost and alone
With the thought...
"I've got nowhere to go..."

It's not that
The sun shines , when she wants light
It's just that
She is as bright as those sunlights

It's not that
She watches the world upside down
It's just that
The world feels different when she is around

It's not that
Flower blossoms when she walks
It's just that
She seems like a blossoming flower

It's not that
Time stops when I see her
It's just that
Time is more precious with her

It's not that
Everything disappears when I look at her
It's just that
Everything is peripheral to her sight

I'm catching up with lightening pace
I'm reading up a storm
I'm reading, learning, soaking up
those left since I've been gone.

I'm catching up with poems
at a rate I've never known
I'm hungry for their meaning,
for their meter, rhyme and flow.

My friends have come to greet me
and their smiles they light my day
it's really good to be here,
like I've never been away.

I hug the broken hearted
place a kiss upon their brow
I know true love will find them
once again someday somehow.

I soak up all your stories
all the tales of mirth and woe
the darkness and the moonlight
the sunlights fiery glow.

It feels so good to be here
sat alone with all my friends
as I wrap myself in letters
hoping that it never ends.

It is ever-breaking fragile pain,
Thinly-strung lightning-flames.

It is stressing, tense, and pulsing life.
To force down grief, to strengthen strife.

It is flowing wonders' pouring heart,
A weathered, broken beggars' cart.

It is swimming through the sunlit air
On perfume-scented strands of hair.

It is sprouting springtimes luscious glade,
And lying down in burning shade.

It is a flashing trick of fading shadow,
In summer sunlights only meadow.

It is broken trust and spoken lies,
An angry haze in bleeding eyes.

It is sipping sweetness and pouting lips,
A flag of peace that snags and rips.

Frigid Winter whorls ,                                                                ­                         Sunlights antithesis .. Cackling , disabling and bitter ..
Spring becomes a 'mongrel' with fragmented , midnight blue -cranberry evening apogee hallucinations .. Daytimes forfeiture of youthful ambition mingled with the wailing cur of March  ...

A snowflake’s aura illuminates the room
A ring of blue in the dark
Bioluminescent particles
Like little living sparks
A bellowing voice in the void
Sings the sweetest melody
The walls move away
Bring my love into this world
My limbs unhinge themselves and set me free
My body cracks open
Light comes pouring out
I can feel the winter air within me
Mixing with my insides
I throw my head to the sky
And smile
My heart is beating too fast
Why am I afraid?
The sunlights come in to greet me
They take me in their arms
I float nearer to you
A head, floating among the snowcapped peaks
Surrounded by aura of light
You turn and smile

In the radiant sun I am exposed to all
In the sunlights embrace I become vulnerable
At night I am protected by all the stars
Veiled under starlight I become something new

Insecurity is brushed away
Pulled back into the shores of my ocean of emotions
A wave of confidence crashes against
And floods my world of anxiety

Under the starlight I transform
I am no longer coward to the eyes of others
I am simply me
A girl surrounded in stars

They are the sun;
irreplaceable;
only one.
They will shine for eternity:
alighting infinity.
Without their gold-
a world of grey,
mark my words
they are the sun.

And nothing brings more light than the sun
no thing nor being brighter than thus
could **** with it's touch,
Deceases the darkness
with the warm glow
that emits from its face
touching you-
body and soul,
with every trace
Naturally;
effortlessly;
completely unaware of its ability
to so wholeheartedly
sooth ones soul
By existing.

They’re the sunlights’ magic
existing as human bones
through glimmering rays of honey tones
they are the sun,

they are the sun.

Inhale,
love, compassion and kindness.
Inhale,
care, positivity and happiness.
Your soul needs it’s replenishment,
before you exhale it out as others encouragement.
So sow and grow fields of flowers,
flourish, bloom and bathe in the sunlights nourishment.
Then give, give and give.
For what we give,
enriches us as well, from day to day.

Everytime that the lustrous moon's visage apply
as how the stars that glimmering divided in the sky
waiting to perceive a new chapter of tragical book,
that she always utter while descending her tears—
When she's sensing at the antiquated photographs,
titled by their names with date and sugary caption
especially those blessed-satisfactory representation.

She poisoned her mind that he's a gentle saviour
as how he grasps her hands when she fell before,
She reminiscence when he enunciate the word hello,
that gave color to her life but he just left her alone.
She severed her wrist to release her poorly feelings
and filled a pen with her blood that she use to write
her unheard emotions and questions into a paper;

Is it bad if I look to our immemorial representation?
Is it bad if I believe that you're a good-hearted person?
Is it bad if I verbalize your splendiferous sanction?
Is it bad if I cut my wrist to impoverish my emotion?
Is it bad if I wear happy mask to hide my impression?
Is it bad if I didn't fight our love for your satisfaction?
Is it bad if I still love you without any hesitation?
Is it bad if I want you to be yours without limitation?

She asked using literary art from her fragile heart—
as a glass that downward-sloping from the paradise,
Moving swiftly with air, think through being escaped
but directly goes to the pits and broke into pieces.
Sunlights reverberate his faded shades of love for her
make her to reckon his spoken metaphors anywhere,
that slowly killing her willingness to symphathize life,
due of his falsity phrases that stabbed her as a knife.

Brought forth by the Unexpected  Warmth
of an early Winter Day
Bright Light's Wondering  Delight

Apple Blossom...
Very Peaceful

Sunlights
Treat...
Gratitude.

I REMEMBER LOOKING FOR MY PARENTS BEFORE I WAS BORN... MY MOM AND DAD.
BEFORE I WAS BORN INTO THE WORLD OF MAN, FLOWERS, LITTLE PEOPLE LIVING ALONG CREEKS AND MAGIC...IN GOODNESS AND BAD...THE FLAWS OF HUMANNESS.
THE ABSOLUTE ANSWERS OF LIFE SELF HEALING FROM VARIABLES OF KINDNESS, SONGS, AND FEASTS OF PURE WATER… SYMBOLS GROWN IN, ON, AND THROUGHOUT MOTHER EARTHS FLESH. BEFORE I WAS BORN I WAS IN THE STARS, I WAS IN MY OWN HEAVEN.
I WOULD DANCE IN THE SKY AND SING AS LOUD AS I COULD…
IN THE FOREVER OF INFINITY’S OF STARS AND DARKNESS OF TRAILS AND PATHS.
THE GOURDS I DANCED WITH SPARKED OF COLORS AND GLITTERS LIKE SUNLIGHTS TRAPPED IN MELTING ICICLES IN APRIL SHOWERS.
STARS SHIFTING THROUGH THE UNIVERSE LIKE DRIED PLUM PITS FALLING SCATTERING IN A LONG WINTER NIGHTS GAME… LIKE BROKEN HULLS FROM WILD RICE SHIFTING WINNOWING CARRYING AWAY IN FALL BREEZES…
STAR CONSTELLATIONS, MIRRORS REFLECTING DIRECTIONS...TRAILS FOR WINDS TO FOLLOW...PROMISES OF OUR DAILY LIVES TOLD IN THE SUN'S JOURNEY.
STARS WOVEN WITHIN WEBS OF WATER DROPS LIKE ON A DREAM CATCHERS DELIGHT...LIKE SPIDERS ART WOVEN WITH DYED PORCUPINE QUILLS TIED DOWN SEWN WITH LOVE AND COMPASSION ON SOFT RABBIT SKINS.
MEDICINE SCATTERED ACROSS THE SKY..ACROSS THE FACE OF MOTHER EARTH, UNDERWATER, ON PRAIRIES, IN HOT DESERT SANDS, IN WOODS IN FAR FAR AWAY LANDS.. IN BIRCH BARK PATTERNS AND NEWBORN FINGERTIPS.
WITHIN RED SKY NIGHTS AND SHOOTING STARS I SEARCHED FOR PORTALS..
PORTALS LIKE TUNNELS THROUGH TIME..PORTALS OF CAREFULLY PLACED TWISTED TIPI POLES..PORTALS OPEN THROUGH BOWLS OF PEACE PIPES CARRIED WITH LOVE LIKE A CHILD WRAPPED IN SACRED BUNDLES...PORTALS OF PRAYER...PORTALS TO CONNECT TO CREATIONS CREATOR AND EVERYTHING THAT MIRRORS CONSTELLATIONS...PORTALS FROM THE DUST OF CORN POLLEN..PORTALS OF  WALLEYE OFFERINGS FROM DEEP LAKES WITH DEEP MONSTERS...PORTALS OF SALTY TEARS AND THE UPRISING SMOKE OF LITED SAGE AND SWEETGRASS...PORTALS IN THE SOUND OF YOUR ZIPPERS GOIN DOWN ON THOSE BADASS BOOTS...PORTALS OF HOW YOU LICK THOSE GLOSSY Pink LIPS.. AND ALL THOSE BUTTERFLIES THAT FLY WHEN YOU BLINK YOUR EYES.. PORTALS OF CRIES FROM HOMELESSNESS, ADDICTIONS, OVERDOSES..PORTALS OF FISTS AND SCRATCHES, PORTALS OF TWISTED ZIGZAG PAPERS, ORIGAMI MAGIC, SMOKE RINGS THAT FORM INTO HEARTS AND ARROWS...PORTALS FROM DESPERATE BOOTS OF SYRINGE NEEDLES...PORTALS OF BROKEN BOTTLES AND SHOTGUN TWISTED BEER CANS…
LINES OF RAILS OF CRUSHED POWDERY CRAZINESS...PORTALS OF SYNTHETIC **** AND SYNTHETIC HOPES AND SYNTHETIC REALITIES.. THEY BITE AND STING LIKE PORTALS OF SHARP BLADES...CUTTING THROUGH YOUR OH SO BEAUTIFUL SKIN...PORTALS OF YOUR OFFERING OF PAIN CUZ ITS THE ONLY THING THAT’S REALLY OURS TO OWN AND OFFER...WHIRLWINDS OF VORTEX MADNESS...PORTALS LIKE THE ONE ALICE FELL INTO… IN HER WONDERFUL BUT VERY SCARY WONDERLAND...PORTALS LIKE THE ONE WE MAY OR MAY NOT EVER FALL INTO...WAY DEEP INSIDE OURSELVES.

A great blanket atop the quiet homes
Flowing without fault or try
A beautiful grey gradient
From the heavens to the Earth
Cascading into the land
Rolling in without a sound

A veil ever lingering
Pierced by everything but nothing
Existing in what would appear to be a stand-still
Only to be moving ever so slowly
All about without any care or doubt

As the great body roams
There isn’t need to scream or cry
The sunlights reflection ever so radiant
Just softer than a grand hearth
To heat the frigid hand
That holds firmly to the ground

Surrounding the daily mingling
Noticing the hills and something
Just beyond the rocky hill
A call ever lowly
Unsure of the words to be made out

Chilling, perhaps even ghostly
Figures in the gleam
So calm and so serene
Taking in the morning glow
Before the fog will surely go

- Jay M
June 24th, 2021

to partake of the nectar along every-
flowering vine
to bathe in pools of August wine after sweet-
summer showers
to bask in sunlights midday power
to charm lovers neath oak canopies
to dine amongst the sassafras root , the
honeysuckle and the blackberry ...

You came in my life
Like a moon in an empty sky

You took me pass
Through the obstacles in my path

You brightened the room of my heart
Which was wrapped in the dark

You brought a smile on my face
Something I wasn't familiar with

Your voice was like an angles laugh
That made me forget my frozen part

You made me alive
When I lived a dead man's life

We laughed for minutes and hours
We reveled for days and months

But now I'm sitting alone
In the sunlights rain