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Even if I loved thee a thousand times, still thou'd never be real.
But still, in t'ese dark miseries and dreams of th' night-
ah, just like t'is silent night of ours
And t'ose fierce fairy tales of young hours
Thou'd still be shaken off my realms
As soon as morn comes-and unveils anew, my charms.
O, death, how lush and inviting thou art,
even though at t'is early age thou might
still be asleep and thus soundeth really far.
Thou art but as naughty as t'ose abundant peeping stars,
brimming with locks of divine warmth and wealth
T'ey shalt again, tease up my mind
Whilst capture my rude, hating heart;
and once more shall t'is gruesome life turn into a solitude
Beside promises t'at canst harm souls' benign attitude.
But as soon as thou art gone; thou might just be no longer safe
And to my conscience thy threat is no more than a slave
Thy delicacy is but servile and uninviting
In t'ose choruses of blood and suffering
For which our senses should nay be proud;
but only of our genuine voices and gravity
T'at though sometimes seem virtual,
but still, are crafted within reality.

And yes, my painting, behind thy soul was ever born thy art,
Locked safely within thy summer foliage and forests
But shall I, for your goodwill ever be sketched?
Ah, one swiftly done, and miraculously correct-
yes, one only, my love, for th' very sake of single jests!
For in thy eyes hovers my triumph,
and in t'ose bogs beneath-
yes, th' ones idling about thy feet,
are cuddled-just here like my little heart, my love.
A sacred love t'at is thrown about
But to which my thirst canst never shout.
Ah, as if my voice is hoarse, and not loud-
and soon I step into whose soils, shall be sanely caught.
Caught and swung around thy idyll-though against my will;
amongst heaven's sandy shoals, and t'eir creepy windowsill.
Oh, and be defected with t'ose blades of thy swords, how evil!
Bereft of my sanity, prudence and sometimes too-bitter delicacy
As I dance around to those lands of hurtful mockery.
Be my soul's delighted worry, and mouth-oh, but mouth of blasphemy!
Ah, how of which I'm now devilishly tired!
Though you might be my eternal sire,
and beside whom my virginal soul shall forever feel so sure
As if my pride shall never ever retire,
everything shall altogether be wounded and obscure
But comely and true, just like t'at shimmering white-lipped dew
With breaths so smooth, like one from my feelings for you.

Ah, my prince! T'is craze for thee is an arrogant little devil;
and its longing for thee which gradually eats away my soul
and at times ****** and tells me harshly what to feel.
Just like t'ose ill-hearted fruits of people's minds
For which t'eir villains wouldst even in death bleakly whine
I am but forever bound to thee;
just like thou art already inside of me;
For in majestic times of our days
Thou shall hungrily partake
my fruity; but eager soul, soul away
and marvel about th' visages of my purity
I shall always but love thee once more;
no matter how boastful thou art,
and detestable virginal pain might be!
For thou art always to me as pure,
though unconvincingly art forever in vain-
For t'ose loveless satisfactions thou hath procured-
and premature pain thou hath delightfully endured.
But healthily t'ese senses shall always love thee
And with such tragedies and tears
canst t'ey but forgive thee only
Because, regardless of how untrue thou art;
You lifted my soul when I was down
And cheered me up 'twixt yon last wound
Dark was th' night t'at day, ye' tender was the moon
As both would pass and dusk would fade away soon
And into my blood thou injected th' real meaning of virtue
Whenst I was all wasted and coldly blue
Whilst my thoughts had not even a clue.

Ah, painting, but still, our love is incorrect as a tragedy-
for t'is world is too exhaustive and greedy
And at times elusive whenst but not necessary-
to grant our love th' chance we needst best!
Oh, but hark; hark once more, my love!
Over t'ere are bursts and chants of a heartbroken violin,
Though spurned by heretic hanging clouds,
slandered by boastful chirping winds.
But, no matter; no matter how hard it might seem
Thou art still to me an indescribable story;
and in thy red cheeks lies my stranded vitality
Signs of virtuous tenderness and curtained loyalty
As though thou art but still with no sin;
No sin; and ah! No stain, no stain at all-of
neither viable crossness nor madness
Though thy cleverness is at times no more to be seen
As once thou said, t'at for thee t'ere might just be
no any further happiness.

Ah! And trapped shall I be, within poisonous vileness
Should I not be granted thee
For thou art th' only soul I love, and idolise
Through whom my life was once formed, and characterised.
For love, to me is like a whole pattern;
and thus needst to be complete;
Thereby in t'is sense-loving him is but like denying
my own merit-merit t'at I am part of, and sure of-
for it is not love, though he might; as fate might say;
just as reliable and handsome and sweet.
But still, he is not thee!
And by no chance, is being not thee is but the same,
as being thee!
How fraudulent, and gross-t'is comparison all be!
Ah! And so thou knoweth, t'at he is, too me-
more even not than a stunning evening doll
Like those ones I hath seen so often
strutting about posh malls
Whilst with heartlessness welcoming
and sneering at innocent cold falls
With faces too stern, yellow, and sometimes bold;
Too bold to be true, much less sincere
And wholly unlike thine-amongst those sins;
t'at for thou honestly admit; look still sparkling and keen;
thus so astoundingly charming my veins and curdling my blood
Until thy unread shadows but reach my heart;
With such braveness and th' frankness of a gentleman
Like at that moment-whenst we told each other's life stories, back then.

Ah, and lure, lure my heart, my love!
And play with it soon as we sit 'mongst th' groves;
I would like to lay again about thy breast,
as I whisper once more to thy chest;
t'at it is truly thee that my soul loves;
and invites to love from t'is moment to end.
Ah, but t'is love started I knew not when,
though never have I thought thou art just my friend.
And lie, just lie to me no more,
t'at thou, just like me-but needst me to thy very core,
with a love t'at seems impatient,
but is born still, from pure virtue and resilience.
Oh! How valuable thou art to me, darling!
Thou who art to me such a mindful; soulful treasure,
and betwixt thy impurity thou remaineth but pure;
Thou are a smiling cloud to my blinding sun;
but sunlight to my rain as soon as it is done.

And thick and tough just as yon bough may seem,
thou shall forever be to me more t'an him!
I shall do and always want thee,
it is thy picture t'at I keepest within and about me.
Ah! And to t'is world, I promise, I shall not bluntly surrender
as how my wailing heart it shall never disrupt!
For thee I shall swear with a thousand loves greater,
t'at from actualising thee, I shall never be stopped!

Then please, please me, o my love-once more,
and talk to me and look at me sweetly as just never before.
For I love thee brightly and gently, as how air loves breath;
and so shall I love thee purely and greatly, as how life loves death.
Nicole Corea May 2015
There's a tree that rest in middle of forest. 
A beautiful evergreen tree  
Just as shiny and precious as a Jade.
 May all the seasons change ,
Let it rain ,storm, snow, and shine.
 The beautiful evergreen tree still
Stands just as shiny as a full moon
on a midsummer night.
It's so astonishing to glare.
This rare Evergreen Tree .

A beautiful Blue Jay Bird
An striking blue bird colored like the ocean .
Fierce bird as the tormenting waves .
A bird call of heaven
 So sweet , adorable
    Migrating to post to post.
   The blue jay sway into
    The evergreen tree.
    It tweeted on its delicate branch.
A beautiful humming tune , sound of the heavens
  Slowly it cured the tiny imperfections
             that linger around the tree.

             An impeccable romance

             A beautiful bond establish.
               May the seasons change .
Thunderstorm, Snow, Hurricanes ,Tsunami 
The evergreen tree will glow sanely
Under the moonlight always waiting
for the Blue Jay to visit
To listen for the humming tune of a romance
Under the deep moonlight on a midsummer night

          **Blue Jay & Evergreen Tree
#love
jeffrey robin Aug 2010
behind barricades

before the red bandanna  meant you were a Crip or Blood

undaunted, refusing to be
..........intimidated

nameless
.....(known only
to
..........................YOUR LOVE
as  "love")

the streets are red with the ******
dreams our youth  is bleeding
on these streets
but then  the gangs recieved from the c.i.a.
control over the drug trade
and killed us all
-----

(behind barricades)

the liars are everywhere and those most visable
are
the greatest of the liars

speaking softly sanely

to you all................
.....................in
words-
impossible
--

love is a powerful feeling

only love

means a thing
Lucy Tonic Nov 2011
California gold-rush blues
Got you pretty thirsty
Where's tank girl when you need her
Saliva thick
Lump in throat
Tongue swelling
Neck swollen
Can't breathe
Drowning
Shrinking skin
Hallucinations
Eyelids crack
Tears of blood
Leather-purse face
Amputated lips
Nose withered
Eyes trapped
We're all exported and exploited
Sold sanely cheap
Used how the rich see fit
Dead in one week
Ecosystem crashing
All for their mansions
Filled with rooms they never use
Profit ******
We see oceans through our windows
97 percent
97 percent
3 percent for you and none for us
Little boy is drinking bubbles
But it ain't champagne
It's dead dogs and fetus juice
Dog dogs and abuse
Where are the wetlands
Where are the holy springs
Soon we'll all be Atlantis
Just another lost city
Soon we'll be living
In underground caves
Like cowards
We all want roses in our garden bower
But the best heroes
Might as well be slaves
Global desert
Without rain
Green turns yellow
Here come the earthquakes
****** forest
Rest in peace
They erected cities
In your memory
Cartels and shades of grey
Vivendi, Veolia
Machines with no soul
Privatizing blue gold
In their corporate quads
Woe to WTO
The new colonialism
Coca Cola 7-Up
Sorry but your time is up
Destroy everything you touch
When it's gone
Get up and leave
Destroy another planet
**** and conquer
SLAPPing silly pointless fools
Transporting silly tools
Shooting all the people's people
Got to pull up the roots
Bullets through lace curtains
Has a ring to it
You spineless cruel leaders
With your oil rivers
Well you've made a rival now
World map's changing underground
Alternatives are scarce
Purity is all but lost
Path of least resistance blocked
Metamorphosizing clocks
Circulation down the train
Don't drink the red water
Just pray for rain
hgrbc Jul 2018
question your sanity
as often as you question your insanity
for everyone is sane
as well as insane
for all those who are sane are just a wee bit insane
and all those who are insane are also sane.
and this way
maybe
just
maybe
you wont go insane
Jade Lima Sep 2019
My being is filling up with rage and hate.
Why the **** can’t I get off of this hell bound page?
I wish the worst for the masquerade.
The pettiness is growing and it’s driving me insane.
I have no will to live unless I **** them dead.
Why the **** can’t they just be done with the torment because I can’t stand them getting into my head.
K Balachandran Mar 2013
Hot headed one eyed nerd,
                 walking blindly with the herd,
                 be aware, every time you croak the F-word,
               cussing like an irritated toad,
            you denigrate those moments on cloud nine,
            you inch up the rainbow panting, 
                    smearing all colors together;
                            the very moments you hanker for,
                                        past every sunset
                                  as if there is nothing else you can sanely  think of,
                                                   till the ******,
                                                     and your partner is the only one that exists,
                                                      in this whole wide world.
provoked by a  'hot headed one eyed nerd' whom i refer,  applicable to that one alone
Previous month wasn't just the end of beginning of new month.

It's not just how time flies. But how time upgrades to new stage.

Change,
Because nothang have to be the same; future is born.

New month begins because life goes on.

Bust on,
Never hesitate to update and transform to upgrade the version of your life.

Month ended, sorrow ends, grief, pain, all sources of sadness ceased.

New month  harvest, joy, abundance blessings, favors, peace, freedom, deliverance, healing, breakthrough, love more money, and sanely sound life.  😊♥✌️
#c9_fm
Yuletide blessings, greetings Cloudnines.
Kerri Jan 2016
The feathery touch
Of your skin
Is so sincere and warm
My blood starts throbbing beneath.
The bond between
Our hearts
Is strongly entwined
Obtaining a new truth.
Your breath,
Your touch,
Your gaze,
All drive me sanely mad
I no longer choke
On my own loneliness
Because you are my new clarity,
Igniting a flame in my soul,
Jumbling the insides
Of my stomach
In some chaste way.
I'm naive to your potency,
The fool...
Letting your love
Stain my heart
With no regrets.
A poem I wrote when I was 17
JR Potts Nov 2013
Everything is nothing and nothing, everything therefore neither can exist as absolutes. What you are now is but a moment and this moment shall pass. We as humans cling to these instances with exhausting desperation. We yearn for them to last eternally but it is only because we dream of the infinite that we hold so tightly to our experience. Like a slow poison we watch ourselves betray our former figments, the people we were suppose to be slip from our grip, descending forth into the people we are to become. My tone may suggest an attitude of anguish but this reality, my reality is not one of judgement. It is far removed from good and evil, it just is. Leaving only my brain to decipher its worth but outside of these illusions of measurement; I know something is happening, the who, what, where and why may escape me but I am convinced that something rather than nothing is occurring.
The experience of stimuli is the only revelation of mine I dare to brand with the label of truth.
Our certainty of the laws that govern today are but manifestations of our misunderstandings and will become subjects of satire tomorrow. If man is to live sanely he must not carry himself so seriously in regard to his follies of days past. He must laugh with the comedians, the jokers and the jesters.
For laughter is the medicine of the mind and the metaphorical heart.
Today you are you, yesterday you were someone else and tomorrow you will be a stranger to yourself.
What does that mean?
You are not who you think you are.
To some this is tragedy, to others a great relief.
Barton D Smock Aug 2013
in madness, explain a chair to the ocean.

unborn, be buoyed by pregnancy.

scrape
mother images
on a cave’s wall
by the glow
the unborn
have.  

I sense I still flicker in two lost minds.

she would say god planted in her a notion of anorexia.
she would sanely say her morbid obesity made her largely abstract.
You might say I am talented, and talented am I
But maybe not the way in which you're thinking
My words may seem so balanced as they bleed before your eyes
But the veins from which they spill are badly torn
The peace that I have wanted only seems fit to comply
Scarcely randomly between each effort's sinking
It is my greatest challenge to find beauty in the lies
And the tragedies now endlessly reborn

I tell myself each instance, it won't be like times before
But repeatedly, I doubt the words I'm saying
Even though I know the future has such miracles in store
My worries and my fears come out to play
Instead of having patience, I embrace what I abhor
'Til what little peace I've found, I am forsaking
And I find it that much harder to keep holding out for more
Through the torment of such never ending pain

So, I write down every word of which I need to hear the most
The very words I often speak to others
And arrange them in a way I know I'll keep them very close
And reflect on them each time I lose my way
But, as my understanding seems to venture oh so close
To the truths that I so often seem to smother
The party starts all over, and I play the gracious host
Entertaining every doubt in every way

What seems like creativity so sanely resonating
Is emotion never making up its mind
Although it may seem natural, each time, I'm hesitating
Almost never satisfied with what I say
So many imperfections in the art that I'm creating
But I blend them in the best way I can find
'Til the beauty of the heartache and the pain so devastating
Ring out true for me as madness leads the way

My writing helps me through each darker day that's always waiting
And the storms which come to rage within my mind
Even in this reading, some of you are now relating
As you see the bitter truth in what I say
Don't focus on the way that I arrange my conversating
Focus on the messages within the rhymes
For my talent isn't in the way the words are correlating
It's in showing, just like you, I'm not okay
It isn't the form or the delivery. It is the message contained therein.
Richard L Herron Jun 2013
I am surrounded by a heavily massed army of syringes,
Syringes that pierce my soul, and inject it with the fluid of hatred
Syringes that take from my soul leaving black wholes with in me that swallow up the massive attack of the masses.
Oh you strange syringe, why tempt me into your malice, in hopes that I will grab it, reaching the idiopathic havoc that is sanely insane within my mind.
Oh syringes the pain you cause me, do you not see? You inject me with hatred, but do not expect to be hated, how dare you, oh foolish, and foul syringes that leaves blood dripping from mine own eyes
And I stand in a puddle of tears, in hopes to see the reflection of my sorrow
I see my reflection, but what I see is not me, what I see is dark and cold blooded, could it be really me? How do I save my self from such pain?
DElizabeth Jan 2022
"i wish
i'd loved you better..
and that you
see me clearly
without disguise.."

as for love slipping away:
"we cannot continue for long
to exist sanely
under conditions of absolute reality. . ."

"to truly love another person
is to accept that
the work of loving them
is worth the pain of losing them. . ."

everything that i love
is me
the same way everything
you love
is you

you became a part of me..

and to feel you..watch you..hear you
slipping from my fingers..
feels like a vital piece of me
is being suddenly and violently
ripped out from within . . .
of everyone..i figured you would understand..
September Feb 2015
When we were nine, you left your mother's home and told
the world you were going travelling. I still wait—
Hoping that maybe one day you will return with your sanity.

I have been waiting twelve years for you—and nineteen years from now,
I will be nineteen—because today is the day I start living,
sanely.
100010001
Some days I think I hear my inner voice crying out- its too much, its always so much. And yet day after day, I tie up my laces, I place my boots on the ground. And I'm not sure how I manage to stand, or even to walk- ya, some times I dont want to be strong, or be an adult- I want to live, to play, and laugh all the time. I know you dont like it, my favorite part of me. So, I do this for you, even though its killing my heart. I will keep waking, I will keep walking, and I wont stop. This is my life, my path, a story of my own making. I know you are losing faith in me, that shine in your eyes is fading.  I may be a wild card, my passion unyelding, the weirdest of ******'s, the sanely insane. Im the one risking, giving, and you're the one taking the blame. I wont let you down, you know I'll keep fighting till my face is flushed and my knuckles bleed hot, I may not look the same, but baby I am coming back.
Aron De Ro Nov 2014
Intrigue has kept me sanely desirous
A blooming light has bound me captive
Blossoming blue with a sky-lit iris
The eyes of she who keeps my heart active
Mitchell May 2011
"Candice fetch the water for the daughter," screamed the old man out loud.

Quick did the fiend hastily pace away from the sand that she was playing with. The sun, hot high up above, blistered itself alone changing its mind upon these defining fine. At last she ran back with a paper box filled with whatever the man willed.

"Good girl, good girl, now stay very still."

The old man poured the trickling cool water over this little girl blue all the while dipping her head back until she could no longer feel. Was a beauty in the way her head dipped right back, the sun shining through Her magical shell. The clouds poured over cooly as if they did not want to interrupt what ever was happening which wasn't all that much.

"How do you feel my little girl Sue?"

"Oh alright, just enough water to make me feel right"

Old man dipped his hand into the sand and threw it upon the coming wind. As fast as he did the wind came and then it was all that he did. She smiled a creek bed of water fast ripples that would have toppled any church bell steeple. They sat together witnessing the pass of God's mass, listening to the river that lay in an eternal shiver.

"Soon your father will be back...alright?"

"When he gets here I'll see with a new sight."

The old man smiled miles all the while the poor father traveled through rocks which unraveled much like the mystery of the mile. They made sandwiches from the meat they met from the corner store they found along the fast moving shore. They chewed slowly so to enjoy the ticking bore.

"Stale it is"

"Hail I feel"

Soon the rocks of ice washed over these two faces that stayed steady for the love in the family is one way to stay sanely. Pebbles broke quick with the late afternoon stitch of a weather vane which broke all in their own vain.

"Home soon?"

"Not until I see the loon"

They sat there till the man arrived and when He did, it was never a time too soon.
Barton D Smock Apr 2014
boy
take or take
6pm

having just
gotten
glasses

I left
father’s
body mirror
to mother
and comb

and set off
for the aptly
named
Hill

armed with
a science book
and shielded
by my own
oblivion

and there
every bit
white
as weary
I sat
as I thought
would sit
the black man
I so wanted
to be
with British
accent

and there
a sanely placed
forklift
seemed okay

abandoned
oh
that I saw

a too strong woman
hop down

her wrongness
a nothing
though from
I ran
THE FUTURE IS BORN

Bury the past behind, live the life of the current moment.

Love the
moment and
cherish the
present time,
can only
hope' for
tomorrow
but is uncertain.

Because no
man knows
what tomorrow
holds,
but
the future
is born put
the past in
the casket.

Tomorrow's unfold just
got to open
the mind and
realize on a
real eyes
where that
hidden potentials
is
and how to
discover
and turn them
to fortune.

Some
enormous
talents are hidden underneath
the soil of a
man's mind.

Mining the
Talents
which are
invisible to
the naked
eye to
realize.
Requires a sanely sensitive creative
mind
gazes what
the brain thinks.
#c9_fm
jeffrey robin Sep 2015
crazy woman


Crazy

Crazy woman

."""""""
( she still
                Loves ! )

She loves

She loves everyone

( what a crazy

Crazy

Crazy

                                        Woman



Her tenement stare

Finds you

Down on your luck

Out on the street

Only 2 steps

Ahead of the police

::

Such a crazy women

She looks down

She comes out

To offer you

Relief



Crazy woman

It's a crazy woman

::

You might praise her

Angelic Kiss

or you might simply call her a Communist

)(

She's a crazy woman

To act sanely in a world like this

)!(

she's a lover

She's a lover

She's a lover

••

Come on. Now

Why don't ya be

Another
wordvango Sep 2016
you ever had one that kept haunting you
I saw llamas today in a field
I saw balloons again
to construct my urge
sanely you would have to share my head
When the llamas looked up at me
on the edge of their field
where they were minding their business
munching
flowers and grass and greens
I felt like an intruder
an alien
in their world
and the balloon thing again,
I watched the car dealers early today,
a  man walked with what seemed like a hundred
of them helium filled colorful things, tieing
them to antennas, when one did
escape, a white one, that wafted and floated
into the sky like freedom and relief,
I felt for it. I felt for the llamas.
You would have to
share my head to
see.
Jellyfish Jul 2015
The sound drowns out
You're mind fills with doubt.
You've been living in bed lately.
Did you really think you could act sanely?
People can see that you're sad.
They can tell as you walk past them.
Your eyes are in a depressed state.
Have they not yet realised their fate?
You somehow stay calm as you say,
We'll all die someday. so silently.
I wonder if you're really there anymore.
So long ago, you shut that door.
The door that kept me inside.
But Just know, I'm still alive.
Your happiness is in here.
You just have to find me.
Don't let the sadness devour us.
Please, you're not Hell Bound,
You're just stuck inside of the sound.
The sounds of the past.
But listen, it doesn't last.
I believe that you will succeed.
Just trust in me.
Find me.
We can be happy, again.
Ivy Robi Apr 2016
I have slayed before
But I'm sure this will be a redefining moment
I hear you talk of guns and arrows
And I wonder if there was a moment like this before
A moment where past and present met future and time immemorial
So now I'm just crawled up in a corner
Thoughts and maybe dreams of better times and greener days
Warm nights that didn't need a lover's embrace
We lit our own fires within our hearts

I have written but never like this before
Pardon my brain for creating and expressing the unfathomable
Yet I can only fight with my words
So I spit bars and hope not to crush you

I am a slave
A prisoner of my own mind
Do me no harm then
I've already killed myself
And maybe I'm crazy so I speak sanely
I have lit subtle fires
That I hope won't consume thee
Gather warmth
Before the hurricane that is my presence extinguishes it.
I am the corner to a circle and epitome of feeling
Warn the rest of your generations
Mateuš Conrad Dec 2017
i may be a catholic apostate who did not
take too lightly in being confirmed,
and even though i studied chemistry to a degree
level, i find a welcome break,
an armchair metaphor in studying
esoteric materials, because they simply bring
that kind of comfort, and a complete
lack of rigour that allows so much to shine
through...

like my discovery of the sign of the cross
in the Sefirot...
        again, i have to stress that i have
a fetish for the Deutschezunge and Hebrew
in theology, for i could never fall to my knees
before the one most despised by the Jews,
how could i?
          i required Hebrew literature,
and may i add: the study of kabbalah has
proven to be, after all the trials,
a very scientific endeavour into
the mechanisation of language...
        trans-linguistic is would appear...
i simply can't return to the mundane world
of either prayer or mantra...
     that's below me, plus it erodes the memory,
with its rubrics of said words
unnecessarily recited...
  forgive me, but it's one thing to
remember the necessary words
only when something is conjured and appears,
and another to conjure nothing
more than a missing poetic cannibalism...
which christianity invokes:
poetic cannibalism...
             sorry, no, the bread is stale and
the wine has been watered down,
you drink my blut -
              fermentation of rye and barley
and wheat... have a sucker pouch for
a glass of whiskey...
                  bread?
      swallow some lead pebbles...
                       i can't deal with this *******
lightly, i tread along this route with shackles
clinging, swaying, breaking silence upon
silence within silence that's an enigma...
              
but i found something of interest,
  the sign of the cross in the supposed
"tree of death"...
                  for i have nothing left in me
than the admiration of a Hebrew...
       or as i like to call them: the Hebraï...
      i.e. not the indian raj,
          but the mingling of ray with ri-fe,
    the former bit of the puzzle...
             i wish i could return, sometimes,
but most of the time i'm unabashed
in not fathoming if not merely forming an
apology...
  there truly are greater reasons beyond
the catholic church's ******* priest...
           just today three pubescent girls walked
up to me in the deathly hollow of
the night and asked for direction...
  just doll like features, barely 13...
          porcelain in moonlight from the fat
on their cheeks glistening and bouncing off them...
i merely replied: for the love of god
i do not know the street you're trying
to find... Waverley Avenue?!
   i know of Waverley St., but it's up in
Edinburgh! with that touristy greeting
of a scot in proper attire playing the bags!
anyway... back to the "primitive"
concerns...

              | in the name |
                         keter
                  ehyeh asher ehyeh

    | of the son |
               tiferet
           beauty, YHWH,

       because wasn't it beautiful?
look how much beauty arose from
the crucifixion, am i not right?
  the son is always depicted as beautiful,
esp. under the powers of
      torturous event, esp. then...

  | and the father |

binah, gevurah, hod vs.
       chokhmah, chesed, netzach...

   oh, wait... ****!
it would appear that i'm the sort of person
unashamed of showing mistakes,
or to put it "mildly": glorifying them in being
included,
   for the only end-product is one filled
with imperfections...
         after all, the prime philosophical
narrative drive is: inconsistency,
albeit inconsistency visible,
not the end-product, polished version...
i simply remembered a wrong
version of the trinitarian formula...

once again, maestro, hit me!

and it will spread to the north
                             first,
then to the west,
then to the east,
and last: unto the south bound
      (the geography of the trinitarian
formula).

being an apostate at least i got
the beginning correct:

              | in the name |
                         keter
                  ehyeh asher ehyeh

  | of the father |
     there ought to be a dispute
given the crown of myrrh...
   irony serves god best,
namely? what king serve a kingdom
sanely with such an object,
what is a crucifix compared to a throne?
hence?
      the father is the foundation
      (yesod)
  rather than the kingship (malkhut) -
that's one for riddling the zealots
and teaching liberalism...
         the heart of the father teaches
a foundation,
since, as the common saying goes:
the woman wears the trousers.

  | and of the son |
this is where it becomes complicated...
was it really the son's
final statement to express love (chesed)?
what sort of person admires a self-imposed
masochism?
               there are two rubrics at work
here...
  binah                            chokhmah
   (understanding)           (wisdom)
gevurah                    &       chesed
(strength)                               (love)
hod                                     netzach
(splendour)                          (victory)

| and the holy spirit |
   what is singular in transmission,
and what allows a collectivism of
these six traits?
        not understand,
       not splendour, not love, not wisdom,
perhaps strength,
  but surely a vision of victory...

| in the name of the son |
who is the son, when characterised the most
with said attributes?

tiferet (beauty) abides by the world,
and is, the world.

           | amen |
            malkhut,
               kingship!
finally! the relation of the crown
to the kingship via but a single word.

| and of the son |
or perhaps it is that citation upon
the cross: my father's house will be a house
of prayer: that self-assurance of victory
(netzach)... which could only revel in

   | and of the holy ghost |
   as being both gevurah & hod
(strength & splendour) respectivelym
what with the strength of an enduring religion,
and the opulence of the churches
bleeding ornament gold...
marble... silver...
  
yet the reason why the son clashes with
the holy ghost is because:
the father is unrelated in the concept
of a trinity, for so much of him belong
to the Jew, and not the slandered Gentile,
as the Gentile was slandered by the mouth
of the son...
                  
      at least the "father" is clearly related
to the following Sefirot dynamic:

     keter (crown) = malkhut (kingship) /
yesod (foundation) = tiferet (beauty)

the "son" is paralysed from this dynamic,
there's not beauty in a crucifix,
even if gilded in gold...
                    or managed by marble sculpture
macabre of the penitent madonna..
          
already the crown, the crown of myrrh
is a bad joke, the throne a hanging instrument
a torture another, bad joke,
     there is no foundation in that image,
the foundation is more scientific,
  a droplet of saliva on some glucose,
for example...
    and the beauty?
              how about exchanging two gorgeous
torture symbols to cowbell dangle
iron maidens?!

  i have the luxury of studying religious texts,
since i paid my allegiance to studying
science to the age of 21...
       i have this luxury,
              i did the science,
but now i have to attempt the ultimate
humanism: a study of religion...
but given the times:
                it's hardly nonsensical
to attempt such a feat.
kate Jun 2023
when i thought of love, my grandmother was the first person who popped into my head. there are so many moments from the past that i wish i could rewind again. throughout my childhood, my mother would typically take me to visit my grandmother when we were on summer vacations. these holidays were all about the unconditional love, the aroma of freshly cooked food that causes my mouth to water, and the joy of enjoying time with one another alongside the enticing scent of flowers dancing with the wind under the sun. and how could i ever forget the delicious chocolate chip cookies that my grandma would give me along with a steaming mug of milk when i was a kid? that could be impossible! the heavenly taste of those cookies, which i am reminded, were always prepared from scratch, is still very vivid in my mind.

her life was a rich tapestry, and love was her important thread that linked it all together. her smile and touch are like a ray of sunlight; she does everything with love, which is what makes the difference in my life and makes it worth living. when i needed someone to depend on and my eyes were welling up with tears, i had her to count on, and she would drive me away from my fears. despite all i'd done something bad, she was my brilliant sun, softly comforting me when i couldn't see the light.

as a consequence of the way that nothing in this world is permanent; everything is constantly changing. the once-clear blue sky has turned a somber gray. when she was taken by the angels from above, there were no more tales to tell. the memories of her smile, her warmth, and her love— it was all that mattered in the long run collapsed like a butterfly on the ground. when you lose someone, it feels like an attack. nothing can stop that person from disappearing in a heartbeat, no matter how hard you try to hang on. regardless of how desperately you try to hold them, they'll leave if they choose to go.

can you imagine a pain that was so buried within you? you can't conceive what it's like to feel something so deep inside. because whatever you do, you can only be wounded when they go. it is impossible to convey my misery on a plain paper using words that can be written down. the stabbing torment that extends from the soles of my feet all the way to the peak of the ceiling; that is the agony i am experiencing— the inability to think and act right.

i was lost.

every day, i'm confronted with hurdles that don't appear to melt away. i needed to be strong for the other people. i want to scream and cry but i feel like no one can see the emptiness of my soul. i kept on clinging on you to keep me sane yet thinking about us makes me feel terrible; i want to shut myself away and grieve alone. but the fact that you were beside me is what keeps me from going sane.

the memories of our time together are kept in a box. there are the butterflies i had when you were close to me, and now they are trapped in a cage of melancholy and guarded by a tear. you held my hand with such softness while we watched the sky all night. but still i sense there's something in your gaze. if you could only see, the way you tell me you love me and that we are meant to be together is gradually crushing every part of me. despite i may sometimes say or do hurtful things to you, know that i've loved you in every part of me. i put a lot of care into hoping that you are are always aware of how much your presence in my life means to me and how much of a difference it makes.

even when i am trying to protect you from getting hurt and act sanely, i still make mistakes. i want you to know how much i cherish and adore you because nothing else in my life compares to the feeling of being loved by you. saying goodbye isn't easy; there is a slew of unanswered questions. our love was pure and blissful for us at the time, and i can still remember our first kiss. everything, though, came crashing down in an instant. letting go is something i fight against with, but it's the only cure i've found for this disease—

to spare you from the pain and
to prevent the death of my heart.
Terry Collett Jul 2014
We paused
for a few hours
at Rouen
and got off the coach

and the guide said
have a look round for a while
but don't get back late
we got a long way to go yet

so I wandered off with Miriam
to see a few sights
she said she was feeling
tired and hungry

and so we took in a café
and had a coffee and cake
and then went
to Rouen Cathedral

and had look round
can't see the point
of these places
she said

no one believes any more
you know that's not true
by saying no one believes
any more

many people believe
but they don't make
a big deal of it
I said

these places
have a beauty
apart from whatever
religious attraction

they may have
she wasn't impressed
and we didn't stay long
and walking back to the coach

she said
the whole religious thing
is a hangover
from the last century

I let her have her say
I liked her blue eyes
and red tight curled hair
and her way of walking

the hips moving
the tight ****
bobbing up and down
in her yellow top

do you believe then?
she asked
believe what?
all this God

and Heaven thing?
guess so
I said
but it's more like

a comfortable tee shirt
I like the feel of it
and it keeps me sane
in a mad world

we reached the coach
and got on
and sat together
on the right hand side

half way down
I can make you
feel comfortable and sane
she said

do you believe in me?
sure I do
she took my hand
and kissed it

and the driver
put on the radio
and a Beatles song
came on

and she leaned close to me
as the coach took off
out of Rouen
and I smelt her perfume

and her closeness
warmed me
and the  world seemed
a little less mad

and her hand moved
between my thighs
and I was comfortable
and sanely glad.
A BOY AND GIRL IN ROUEN IN 1970.
Pj Sep 2015
Today I woke up and wanted to **** myself.
I hate feeling so low that I can't even help myself.
I look to the sky for warmth but it just didn't help.
I'm afraid to close my eyes, for my dreams are really hell

Constantly hopin' and wishin' for **** that won't really happen
and all this pain  that's inside
they said that **** doesn't matter,
"Just get to the money, P. The rest will come later"
But what if living is killing me?
Doesn't my sanity matter?

I'm locked away inside my mind,
the key is on the table
But I'm tied to the chair with invisible
ropes stronger than cable
Can I live?
I ask myself twice is the possibility of purgatory worth
the price of my life?
Can I live?

Depression at its best and happiness that is struggling.
Find the finer things in reality and
don't ever think you are nothing.
But I don't. I'm the ****,
at least that's what I tell myself today.
Even if I do believe it, the tears are still only a blink away.

I'm bipolar. And a girl. Yeah that's one hell of an equation
and when I have my emotional fits it's one hell of a conversation-
with myself. All 8 of me.
Not even standing between two mirrors to mask insanity.
I'm sanely me. Insanely me.
Inside the soul that sang to me.
I can't even write this rhyme with complete accuracy because
they're watching me.
They prey on the weak.
Misery likes company and right now, woe is me.
I feel better today.
Sirena Apr 2019
this is not a poem, it is simply the truth




I am sitting here looking pretty
I am sitting here no longer greedy  
I used to think that to love someone it meant that I needed to  remind them
remind them that I am still here and that I will always be here
looking back I can’t help it, I feel stupid
I watched too many movies, read too many books, wrote too many poems
Society put this idea of what love is in our heads and we run with it
to act obsessively
to be possessive
to be crazy in love
But why can’t we be sanely in love?
Why can't we give the person that we love space?
Why cant we meet each other in the middle?
I have a secret
the moment I let go, the moment I stopped reminding someone that my love is unconditional
I grew spirituality, mentality, emotionally
the universe treated me like a gift, a precious gift
it is sad to say but I felt like the moment that someone said they 'loved me'
they belonged to me
subconsciously I used to see them like an object, especially when I felt like I didn't deserve how they treated me
see my problem was that I was trying to find worth from someone else
I held on to people like a rope,
even after the break up
I realized that I will never be satisfy if I am not comfortable being open
but I couldn't be open
I was holding to a rope so tight that I needed both my hands, completely covering my heart
I broke the ropes
my life got better, this is not a poem this is a public announcement
No matter how much you love a person, no matter how much you gave them
that person does not belong to you
if they love you and if you love them
there will always be a middle
the middle is like nothing you could imagine
the middle is more about you
to be in the middle you need to sit pretty, you need to not be greedy
you need to put your legs up and enjoy yourself
you need to have a good time alone, and with new people
but most importantly you need to let go
letting go does not mean you love any less
because when two people are meant they are forever tied to each other
because love is strong
love unites people
and love heals
and sometimes even though we love, we need to not be together
and that is okay
It took me 2 years but this is where I am. I hope whoever read this finds peace.
Mateuš Conrad Jun 2021
i once attested that... you can't a better barber... than a Turkish barber... for a while i thought that Romanian girls made great company... Copernican revision (almost): perhaps i just found me a Turkish gem... a delight from some mythical period of the height of the Ottoman empire...

nope, they're still here... that swarm of butterflies...
with Nabokov giving chase...
although there's no taboo about borderline
mature girls to talk about...
that one instance with my ex's sister when
i first saw her... absolutely gone...
             of a more refined taste...
                       she's 32: i tell her she looks like
she's 28 she says she feels like so and...
what else am i going to call this feeling...
heightened digestive anxiety...
    diarrhoea?
                    well it's certainly not constipation...
funny how: this is almost love...
it's not... it's just the aftermath of the best
*** i've had since... i was having *** / *******
with my fantasy goggles on...
it took me several years to get over
the supposed "best ****" i was ever going to get...
a Russian by the name of Ilona...
yes... brilliant... that night before i was to leave
st. petersburg we had one of those...
7 hour marathons... as you do... since it's st. petersburg
in the summer and you have those
famous white nights of st. petersburg because
you're really close to the polar circle...
so... you can't sleep... and what's there to do?
chess, drink... books?!
- i never thought i could get over it...
until... Khada... or Khadiya... or...
i've heard the name several times, now...
i even wrote it down and showed it to her...
but when i heard it again...
she... almost silences the last letters...
   Khaadaya...           to hell with it...
i already almost can't remember her face...
and it has only been since: yesterday...
  but then... i somehow remember it... yet...
its contorting... it's... a mouth open showing me
her tongue... it's her most certainly fire-riddling auburn...
maybe mahogany...
a light shade of that wood...
most certainly a van morrison song...
although: not so much freedom in running around
with a transistor radio...
or it's just that i can't remember her face
because... there's so much immediacy involved
in all that happens during *******...
the face stretches through many contortions...
all those vowels and hardly any consonants
that might allow for lip-reading...
- maybe it has something to do with seeing
Christian Eriksen collapse live on the pitch...
my bets were on: dead... thunderstuck...
i just had to feed life a bone a muscle some sinew
flesh, **** and tongue...
in between hard-ons throughout the day:
no hand! hell... i wasn't even remotely going to
give myself such an easy escape...
too much "thinking": reimagining all the details...
ol' raven haired woman of Anatolia...
i tried to compose a list of songs to fit
with my emotions...
the cliches ran after i listened to...
spirit's when i touch you...
all of nine inch nails' pretty hate machine...
something from the hellraiser soundtrack...
now i'm sipping a straight pimm's i "stole"
and am listening to the obvious:
the eagles' witchy woman &
cliff richard's devil woman...
      funny how... love is *** first... for any man...
or best be...
i can't handle some choicest of fiddly parts
of... eh... the criteria of a "good mother"?
a good wife?
                    all this pre-planning ******* of
the modern man... boxed life-on-loan anyway...
in her own words:
'i'm a killer'... oddly enough:
i couldn't read any malice in her eyes...
like i said to her when she asked me what do i see
in them...  e-very-th-ing...
the good and the bad...
   when i see her again... i'm already gagging...
choking myself with these *******
butterflies... i'll tell her what she is...
   a NYMPH...
sometimes i'd come across these sad sad prostitutes...
they'd thank me for my tenderness
and tell me i was a good man...
two or three close calls with veteran women...
but never... a... ******* NYMPHOMANIAC!
like she didn't care about all she was going to
gorge on...
a slap on the tongue and all that...
ooze O OH! all that ooze of... a feline serpentine...
right now... no such "thing" as:
"too much of a good thing... can't be good"...
any movement in reality is a joke...
i'm a poo'et that can't make a living off of the trade
and she's a *******...
that she sleeps with other men doesn't bother me...
i just like the she is when she sleeps with me:
other men are abstract as with them she's: a she...
i can almost imagine myself living in ancient Rome...
fathering *******...
being a good foster father figure...
being really... really liberal classically about...
what's mine and what's not...
i posit the idea above genes...
                         i posit the idea above genes...
an illuminating splinter on a night sky...
a joyous smile...
a glistening: ****** expression of staging being...
ASTOUNDED...
i.e.: what the **** just happened?!
m'ah head exploded and i'm still without any
obligations to make concrete sacrifices
to state: this be love that be commitment...
          she's a killer... like hell: she's a man-eater...
i was just ******* a "caricature" of a mantis...
                      at £2 per minute... am i going to listening
to some more... winging that *** is a chore?
thank god no!
HEAD LIKE A HOLE... HEAD LIKE A HOLE...
i was so *** starved for the past 4 years
that the whole #metoo movement passed me by...
with her i'm at loss to even explore being
bored with ***...
to explore alternative avenues
with latex and gimp suits and ******...
so... frankly... it's still somehow wholesome...
proper kosher...
i would never want *** to become boring:
i rather starve and not have: and then have it...
sanely... than have to double up on fetishes
and escape plans to being:
i am addicted to the idea of two bodies colliding...
coercing... moulding each other...
today's international football was...
        oh yes... that grand brotherhood of man...
also some sparring in boxing in Paris for the olympic
games between amateur boxers...
if my stomach is filled with butterflies...
my brain is a custard of wriggling maggots...
while my heart remains a stone...
no ulterior motive... thank god...
thank god i've escaped the fantasy land
of performance art of *******...
i'll gladly leave that boney-****-imitation of the hand
behind: i'd chop it off if i was:
doubly left-handed...
but i'm not... and i need some balance when i
type missing typos...
     grr...
              pimm's: too sweet... i'll need a beer or two
to put my palette straight...
mein gott: what an afternoon...
the crab bucket will be screaming right about now...
oh i know the crab bucket **** list...
why not me? why am i not wearing his shoes...
crab bucket my ***...
when i left the brothel there was still
agonised girl screaming into the mobile about
commitment...
oh welcome night... some depeche mode?
please do... and if i feel like this after tomorrow's harrowing
bicycle round-and-round...
i'll most surely feel better:
besides...
only this Friday journalists unearthed previously
unpublished poems... ahem... "poems"
by none other than... Jim Morrison...
rock star... *** god.. lyricist...
ah... there we go... LYRICIST...
i abhor lyricism...
       i have only one excuse for minding lyricism:
the music tends to be louder than the lyrics...
the bass guitar is somehow audible...
check out Metallica...
two... three songs when you can actually
hear it... the devil's dance...
but... otherwise... all primarily rhythm & solo guitars...
drums and lyrics...
rhyme: rhyme my *** with has...
                 that i have one...
oh boy... when i'm dead... when i'm dead:
and this is how i wrote...
it doesn't matter: what i wrote: about...
although... maybe that too...
     too much airy ******* fairy akin to...
verbatim:
    december isles
  hot morning chambers
of the new day
idiot first to awaken (be born)
w/shadows of new play
learned men
in Sunday best
we've had our chance to rest
to mourn the passing of day
to lament the death of our
glorious member
  (she whispers secret messages
of love in the garden
to her friends, the bees)
the garden would be there
forevermore...

am i the only one who... doesn't want to...
reengage with some... variation of a "loss"
of innocence?
i want the *** on display thick splodges
of worn limps... gearing up to a wedding with
death: a second birth...
and all that "filth" in between...
i want... the whole... experience...
like a seagull chick... FEED ME...
i want to turn my mouth into an eye
and my eyes into mouths...
i want to become a monstrosity...
a gargantuan take on butter...
  i want to overflow in the sick and the sweat
and marble of all that's human...
to hell with being a child...
inherently cruel...
an untrained bladder...
              at least the games of *** and informal
cordiality...
nothing sinister since no latex
or gimp suits invoked...
just kosher: *** deprived ***...

& in between ******* a pull of the chin
to explore those lips and tongue with
my lips and tongue...
ol' raven hair of Anatolia...

- on a canopy of ****-rod soft-core
girlies with nothing to do but pose naked
and dangle a latex ***** for
for some lap-dog...
       slurp...
                     i had to dig to the deepest
core of imitation Dante...
i needed to find me a nymphomaniac...
to escape the...
what's it called...
the subversion of men... of nullifying men...
of... sedating men...

i'm 6ft2... 218 pounds of Otis Redding's worth
of love man...
some other time... 260 pound worth of
a chunk of beef...
            slimming girl... just slimming:
for all the tenderness i want to give...
i'd be a gladiator in some other time and reference
of space... now i'm fighting pseudo-intellectuals
and the crab-bucket...
****'s sake...
but i'm still armed with a giggle...
so it's: just aye-alright...

correct me if i'm wrong... all that inheritance...
i'm not going to pet an anglo-saxon woman
and her thesis on anti-racism...
erm... ha ha!
                  when a black loved up to a black woman...
when a ol' whitey cuddled up to a...
Turkish delight... or a Thai surprise...
ha!
                             it's a black toddler one you can
fiddle with the afro...
while it tempts your torso being a make-shift bed...
how can you just kick a dog...
how can you not love such bundles of...
the antithesis of an exoskeleton?

how jazz, soul, rhythm & bass degenerated into...
rap synth...
because... it's not exactly even rap these days:
is it?
well... it's hardly that you... didn't see it coming...
god... loving this girl when she mingles with
me drinking alone is doubly exhausting:
because the reality of going forward
is forever an impasse...
a brick wall... take care... concentrate on
the undying emotion: right now...
focus on the butterlies:
on the hypersensitive digestive system...
it's not diarrhoea: it's just your digestive system
working overtime...

i'm in love: but not for keeps...
for illumination...
hammer met up with nail...
out came two planks of wood stuck together...

- just like i can't stomach: on repeat...
i don't own these anglo-saxon women...
there's not grand brotherhood of man...
i don't want to be trapped in some guilt riddled
libido game where she showcases herself
on some... vague: moral stand-off posit...
i'll just go where something is better: & available...

beginning with Romanian, perhaps just
ending with Turkic...
    to hell with these striptease in straitjackets...
how's that for... ahem... "lyricism":
oh, wait... lyricism doesn't appreciate
concrete punctuation / prepositional riddled
language...

one more night with a ***** movie in my mind
where i'm somehow, "somehow" the star...
mein gott: how she slapped that phallus
on her tongue...
how she's... completely involved in nothing
sensible...
how i despise old age:
how i'd sooner stab myself in the neck,
throw myself off a bridge... tame drowning...
anything to heighten the erotica than...
die off... slowly ******* neglected...
right now: spontaneously...
i'd bring a knife and ask her to finish me off:
but of course... i'm shy of ******* her a dozen
times...

none of the leather of neglect:
all her parts being so, so... jaw-like...
mandible...
oh look... what a hallow night...
the moon is here... all horned...
the constellations are in place...
but there are still those roaming stars that...
shouldn't be here...

i will now welcome sleep.
wolf Sep 2016
I remembered him clearly,
the waves of his hair,
when it blew in the wind,
told a story.
His lips,
god his lips,
sanely soft when I caressed mine over his.
He was the kind of man that every woman
searched for,
the kind you think is within an arms reach,
but when you reach out to grasp,
slips between the cracks of your fingers.
And like a trophy,
he was something to look at,
but not something to touch.
He left marks on souls.
the kind where you longed for more of him,
the kind you feel empty without.
And when it's over,
you're left alone,
with the unsettling memory of him.
Jade Lima Dec 2015
Rut
Lately i've been eating my problems away.
I hate when i do this, it's far from okay.
But when nothing feels good, you start to do things you shouldn't.
I stopped taking my meds, and it's ******* with my head.
Am i sanely insane? Or insanely sane?
No one can ever be sure, i just wish there was a cure.
But i'm straying so far from my goals,
Why can't i just be me, and be whole?
alwaystrying Nov 2018
down the stairs, a dark spiral
one of them, a mischievous one
made me take a wide tumble to the door
from second last step; desirous of that other one

she ga' me the old sammies and sugar
to take to the sweet peckers
who push such golden orbs
and there's red lines to fill the blue ones, too

quite deliberately yours
if love claws its way to you, why not acquiesce?
do be a divine little squirrel, give in sanely
eat your **** nuts
tired.
dennis drain Apr 2017
Yea.... ztickz!.....
    It's been a minute since I could really feel it.....

I been stressing a lot lately,
my mind ain't been thinkin sanely
I ain't wrote one word to beat in months
To much stress? Maby...
I gotta baby on the way 26 weeks along and I'm broke without job
Haley Harrison Aug 2020
Like a chemical burn, poison on my skin,
The truth slices and stabs from within.
You're out of my reach, distant as the stars,
As if separated by hard iron bars.

An aeroplane flying overhead, to a far-off land,
A ship in the distance, as I lie on the sand:
Yearning for mirages that I'll never catch,
A lost left shoe, without its proper match.

I am a fool - I'll say it yet again,
And write it, indelible, with a stroke of pen.
Sanely insane, aware of my flaws,
Yet Cupid won't let me out of his claws;
He is no angel, but a demon instead,
His cruel jokes strike me like a weight of lead.

I am an anglerfish, and you a coral reef -
I dwell in darkness, while you could blind the sun.
I wish I could turn over a new leaf,
But I'm stuck, like a jammed safety on a gun.

You've made it clear,
I see it now:
There never was a chance;
And yet, my dear,
My heart will bow
To you, as if in a trance.

Curse you, curse me, curse this Universe and Fate,
**** these feelings and this hunger I can't sate.
.
04.09.2019.
(for S., still)

— The End —