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"photocopy" poems
Clayton How I know you Paternal parenting DNA infused Carbon contribution, to my physique Father In everything My skin, eyes toes, Unfortunately; inside my mouth Spitting plaster-walled Copy-paste personality The same Intimately Close-dangerously Different Me a bold-faced fraction of ill abated love Something that didn't work out Photocopy Blond-blasphemy of useless flesh Reminder of her Mom Enough! Teeter tottering Tip-Toe tangling opinion Excuses Words fermented Rotting-rigor I know you. Slit-eyed palefaced ****** of bigot ideas Bearing pronged poker Clicking glinting-clawed finger fondling fake religion Suppressing supplement thought ******** God's love the good life Living a life to be proud of Excuse me! For not being as I am "supposed" to be Eatting rancid lies Your reality relative To kiss-ass preferred siblings Who like the taste of **** What you shovel Hung on lipsucking harlot, hinged hip hung-over Descending oppressidly upon willing wanton will of man Letting cracked-cackled toothed Field Gap-smile Decide your next move I know you I see what you push into hidden corners The bias, nasty film of your character Under whitecollar shirttails Citizen, Patriot Americas American I know you Your oppression Not new As underhanded and seedy as it was And still is I know you As much as I'd like not too.
0
Oct 1, 2012
Oct 1, 2012 at 4:18 PM UTC
I know you.
right left right left right left right we walk this path from day to night front to back and side to side these blinders keep us calm inside inside; a beat that we walk to what does that beat mean to you? to pump the blood that keeps you well? or does it prolong your living hell? if that beat began to slow until they said there was no flow then all the things that were ahead would vanish with the words "he's dead" if you could look him in the eye the younger you just might cry and ask you why you didn't even try to be that "motorcycle guy" it's too bad but it seems to be dreams have become idiocracy full of nos and won'ts and can'ts because you bought some big-boy-pants and with them on you chose to be the you that lacks originality to take yourself so seriously defines a loss of dignity so sold on how these things must go you photocopy the status quo embrace all that you can call you the fun, the weird, the nerdy too let it pour out of your soul onto a canvas; break the mold until the day when you decide to let your heart shine from inside and be the you that lives with ease accept the flaws; the insecurities you will walk down those same streets a miracle stripped to a monotonous beat so look within to find that passion it's up to you to take the action just believe; call this the start just believe; follow your heart
0
Apr 30, 2013
Apr 30, 2013 at 1:27 AM UTC
follow your heart
if a sound could be grainy like a photo with the ISO too high over-compensating for the light that shone too dim through the patterned curtains in your bedroom in your mother’s old house where the peaches tasted better in water than in sugar and that had never ever happened not since you were three years old when your grandmother who was not yet too old to do much besides eat TV dinners and watch ‘the price is right’ before your grandfather’s funeral where you ruined your velvet dress spilling cheap coffee all over the bodice (if it had been good coffee the situation would be entirely different) the sound of you exhaling like a train rolling right past the house shaking the walls and the floor and the sofa less and less as it gets farther away you sound grainy like a photocopy and i can’t find the original
0
Jun 23, 2014
Jun 23, 2014 at 1:17 AM UTC
train
Faded tree figures loom near, visible as a smear on what used to be the Mona Lisa. The great work of art goes to waste as its paint is fingered, by each person, like its some sort of photocopy, covering the masterpiece with old, dirt, and impurities that are not naturally occurring on skin. Leonardo da Vinci would be appalled at our treatment of his gift, made to be given to one person, yet he loved it... and gave it to us instead. Now stare once again at its poor condition.
0
Jul 18, 2015
Jul 18, 2015 at 3:10 PM UTC
Fallen in F#
I'm a passenger in my own mind what a turbulent ride no space to relax no physics to abide I'm a passenger in my body a fixture placed in a lobby immobile, collecting dust a degraded photocopy I've been a passenger all my life an inconvenient alibi strapped into padded dreams unable to depolarize The day I grab the wheel I know I'll be alright
0
Jul 26, 2014
Jul 26, 2014 at 1:42 AM UTC
Passenger
I knew an undergraduate at college who spent his days asleep, or drinking beer; he never needed academic knowledge until the day of reckoning drew near, when, as he found his time was growing short, he’d borrow books, or photocopy them, and, downing frantic coffee by the quart, he’d burn the midnight oil, till five a.m. It puzzles me a little when I find the ones who press conversion at the end expecting atheists to change their mind in panic, like our coffee-drinking friend, with fingers crossed and hoping for the best in case this life’s continuously assessed.
0
Aug 21, 2010
Aug 21, 2010 at 8:26 AM UTC
Finals
I do not wish to reduplicate From you and the past I want to break However, I reckon Unconsciously I am attracted To the same facets Persistently. All I have been inclined to The last couple of months Is stop being reminded of you But what seems to Entice me Bits and pieces of you In another individual I see. How can I start anew When deep in my heart All I still desire is you My heart Set on ice and fire Is history Then why am I doing A photocopy. It is not deliberate But what seduces me Are colors of a similar palette How am I to let go If still submerged in shadow Though I know it is another person Am I following An identical pattern.
0
Mar 24, 2013
Mar 24, 2013 at 9:32 AM UTC
Photocopy
The ocean is a crumbled photocopy of a cloudless sky.
0
Jan 6, 2015
Jan 6, 2015 at 10:05 AM UTC
Photocopy
give a moment of clarity to pull me out of the haze, won’t you? days have passed since i last remembered your name and even more have passed since i last forgot the scent of your clothes. your body is a synthetic imitation of a real one. i last saw you in a place you weren’t and that could be just because of a lack of some part of my sense i lost, i always was so forgetful. define me this way: a monster of your making. the beauty you lost years ago when all you could mutter out of your chapped winter lips was please. take me to a place where all the skies are blue, won’t you? days will come when i can’t really remember your name and even more will pass until the scent of your clothes become the scent of mine. your face is photocopy of an angel’s. i can see you in the puddle of the water, swimming with the tadpoles. define me this way: no one important. everything you never really wanted to have.
0
Nov 18, 2016
Nov 18, 2016 at 1:40 PM UTC
dictionary definition
True to The saying “The pen is mightier Than the sword” To your enemies Deep-cutting and Mask-divesting Were every  of Your  acerbic satire, also Bitter-truth packed word. “To ignore His pen we ill afford Nor could we Fight him back Word for word. So covertly Let us Strike him  down With a sword About his whereabouts Effacing a word!” they said Forgetting As a writer Baalu Was worth his weight In gold, Whose books strangely In large numbers sold Though some of them, To gut down, They did try to hoard. For want of A photocopy machine then Many were happy To distribute A hand-written copy. Deep when you think, Your pen when you pick With it loud to speak, Your subjects used to jump Out of their skin Scared of a basilisk! Your pen On your characters' neck A pain Was haunting their brain! Yes your pen Was their bane! Dust to dust You and also your enemies With their sword Had hopped on Death's bandwagon Yet your pen Surfing back The tide of time Resurfaces again.
0
Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 9:12 AM UTC
Use not a sword for a word
Parents arranged my marriage with a girl. I liked her at first sight—young and chirpy. And I made up my mind to marry her soon. In the followup to the marriage, We interacted with each other, In the beginning, I liked her. Soon, courtship turned one-sided, I was the only one interested, Insulting me, she started. She had a problem with quick love. Berated me for saying it so soon, She told me to behave mature. I accepted her remarks, The criticism of my ways, I focused on all my means. I proudly told her that I didn't give up. The coma-inducing accident, and Injuries couldn't reduce me. I told her about how I literally won a war, A war against time and disability, The doctors labeled me as 42% challenged. "But I didn't give up," I told her. I defeated my disability, And all of their speculations. When I passed into that coma, After the accident, I'd die, They had speculated. When they diagnosed me 42%, I will do some easier work, They all had guessed. They wanted me to drop out of college, Oh, they want me to be humble, Be humble and accept fate. Not that the other job is easier, But they wanted me to set up a shop, For daily needs, stationery & photocopy. Even my mother wanted me to drop out. Leave the B.Tech. Biotech incomplete, Opt for an easier course instead. But I told her that I didn't give up, No, I did not; I did not give up. I fought my way to the top. I cleared my B.Tech. degree in Biotechnology, Not only that degree, but my story continues, Attained an M.Tech. in Animal Biotechnology. I initiated a PhD in Animal Biotechnology, However, I had to quit it due to COVID19, I lost my opportunity due to the pandemic. But she, out of her own regret, Regretted about not being able, To clear exams, me she insulted. "People with disability achieve more." I felt belittled, but she continued, "They even crack UPSC-CSE." I'm not disabled since birth. No, I'm not, I'm not, I told her. This disability I acquired in 2010. I told her the same, But she did not realise it. How wrong she was. How she had insulted me and my struggles, I can't marry her, The man I am today is after my struggles. Though she loved my poetry, The 'Angel?' Saga the most, But she insulted my history. She even compared my life against others. As if she knows all the people like me, My dreams shattered due to that accident. No, she knows everyone not, She doesn't know others who gave up. Look at me; I didn't give up, but I'm victorious. But she was not impressed. She is rigid and argumentative. Never going to apologise & accept. I told her mother that I couldn't marry her. Why? Because she doesn't know humility. Obviously, she can never respect me either. She wanted me to respect her. She thought that only hers matters. Because I live in the inferiority complex.
0
Sep 16, 2024
Sep 16, 2024 at 2:23 AM UTC
Living In A Residential Complex Named Inferiority
Parents arranged my marriage with a girl. I liked her at first sight—young and chirpy. And I made up my mind to marry her soon. In the followup to the marriage, We interacted with each other, In the beginning, I liked her. Soon, courtship turned one-sided, I was the only one interested, Insulting me, she started. She had a problem with quick love. Berated me for saying it so soon, She told me to behave mature. I accepted her remarks, The criticism of my ways, I focused on all my means. I proudly told her that I didn't give up. The coma-inducing accident, and Injuries couldn't reduce me. I told her about how I literally won a war, A war against time and disability, The doctors labeled me as 42% challenged. "But I didn't give up," I told her. I defeated my disability, And all of their speculations. When I passed into that coma, After the accident, I'd die, They had speculated. When they diagnosed me 42%, I will do some easier work, They all had guessed. They wanted me to drop out of college, Oh, they want me to be humble, Be humble and accept fate. Not that the other job is easier, But they wanted me to set up a shop, For daily needs, stationery & photocopy. Even my mother wanted me to drop out. Leave the B.Tech. Biotech incomplete, Opt for an easier course instead. But I told her that I didn't give up, No, I did not; I did not give up. I fought my way to the top. I cleared my B.Tech. degree in Biotechnology, Not only that degree, but my story continues, Attained an M.Tech. in Animal Biotechnology. I initiated a PhD in Animal Biotechnology, However, I had to quit it due to COVID19, I lost my opportunity due to the pandemic. But she, out of her own regret, Regretted about not being able, To clear exams, me she insulted. "People with disability achieve more." I felt belittled, but she continued, "They even crack UPSC-CSE." I'm not disabled since birth. No, I'm not, I'm not, I told her. This disability I acquired in 2010. I told her the same, But she did not realise it. How wrong she was. How she had insulted me and my struggles, I can't marry her, The man I am today is after my struggles. Though she loved my poetry, The 'Angel?' Saga the most, But she insulted my history. She even compared my life against others. As if she knows all the people like me, My dreams shattered due to that accident. No, she knows everyone not, She doesn't know others who gave up. Look at me; I didn't give up, but I'm victorious. But she was not impressed. She is rigid and argumentative. Never going to apologise & accept. I told her mother that I couldn't marry her. Why? Because she doesn't know humility. Obviously, she can never respect me either. She wanted me to respect her. She thought that only hers matters. Because I live in the inferiority complex.
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I’ve done it since I was a child, Collapse onto your lap as if the world was a little too heavy and somehow your body moulds to my form, weight. Accommodating every sigh, listening to the symphony that is the sound of your tummy gurgling late at night. I can no longer fit into your arms, I am no longer your tiny footed photocopy. I have now grown strong, powerful- forged from the flesh of a titan. Somehow, I always want the world to meet you but I know I don’t talk about you nearly enough. It’s because no words could ever accurately capture the nuance of mother nature that is you. And you are my mother, the force of nature from which my biological cloth is cut. You are home in the most primal sense and I am in love. In love with the way you carry yourself, soft hands, kindness rubbing rythnmic circles on my back when I feel sick. You are the foundations of my soul on two legs and I will always be thankful for the nature of your love, firm but constant, like a waterfall. In a constant stream your love has broken rock, moved mountains and convinced me I can do the same. You are a force of nature, powerful beyond belief. You are my mother, and I will always be your child. Standing in the sand storm of life my feet will always remain firmly planted on the ground, well aware of the roots from whence I came. You are the freshest breath of life that I have been lucky enough to be nurtured by. You are my mother, warrior, laughter in inappropriate moments. You are my healer, you are the wind that blows the sea that is me , onto the shore- further each time. Destined to achieve more. You are an ambitious icon. You are the love that vibrates in each of my cells, you are the boldness in each step I take- affirmed and aware that rejection has no claim to me, pales in comparison to the great love I have received. You are my mother, Four words which will never begin to capture the power of who you are and what you mean to me.
0
Apr 16, 2017
Apr 16, 2017 at 8:07 AM UTC
Mother, Nature, Nurture
I’ve done it since I was a child, Collapse onto your lap as if the world was a little too heavy and somehow your body moulds to my form, weight. Accommodating every sigh, listening to the symphony that is the sound of your tummy gurgling late at night. I can no longer fit into your arms, I am no longer your tiny footed photocopy. I have now grown strong, powerful- forged from the flesh of a titan. Somehow, I always want the world to meet you but I know I don’t talk about you nearly enough. It’s because no words could ever accurately capture the nuance of mother nature that is you. And you are my mother, the force of nature from which my biological cloth is cut. You are home in the most primal sense and I am in love. In love with the way you carry yourself, soft hands, kindness rubbing rythnmic circles on my back when I feel sick. You are the foundations of my soul on two legs and I will always be thankful for the nature of your love, firm but constant, like a waterfall. In a constant stream your love has broken rock, moved mountains and convinced me I can do the same. You are a force of nature, powerful beyond belief. You are my mother, and I will always be your child. Standing in the sand storm of life my feet will always remain firmly planted on the ground, well aware of the roots from whence I came. You are the freshest breath of life that I have been lucky enough to be nurtured by. You are my mother, warrior, laughter in inappropriate moments. You are my healer, you are the wind that blows the sea that is me , onto the shore- further each time. Destined to achieve more. You are an ambitious icon. You are the love that vibrates in each of my cells, you are the boldness in each step I take- affirmed and aware that rejection has no claim to me, pales in comparison to the great love I have received. You are my mother, Four words which will never begin to capture the power of who you are and what you mean to me.
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Blueberries blossom-trees, Clouds made of soap-bubbles, Creamy grass and foamy bushes Of roses blue, purple and grey, Grapes of red and Orange, Wines of crystal clear greens, Red-irises to tell of feelings Too hot or too sad Burning hues in a phtograph back home, Where I don't want to go; Chariots dragged by stallions And spaceahips to take us to explore Other natures... No poverty, no suffering... No twisted games, Just peace... Guns not allowed here.
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Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 4:19 PM UTC
(Motion)PhotoCopy...
Today I noticed the stamp On the back of my hand It had been there all along But today, somehow, my eyes caught the perfectly inscribed numbers placed casually next to each other. Suddenly, all the people around me had the exact same label engraved on the palm of their hands. As I stared at the calligraphy of the letters and the numbers, and at the spaces between each,   I understood the root of the code we have all lived by I sensed the metal scraps we have allowed to engulf our skins I painfully recognized my mind as a photocopy of another one, and another one. So I got up, and started reading a book.
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Nov 29, 2014
Nov 29, 2014 at 3:34 AM UTC
•R Z -3ii${59}æ•
I think I might be drowning? Drowning? Frowning and crowning myself a queen, because that's what I'm told I am. I am by all intents and purposes; human in the flesh. I've seen love and labour lost too many times, I've seen cost and favour tossed to one side. I'm a lean, mean regurgitating machine. I give out party favours like I'm frightened to bite the hand that feeds. I'm a photocopy of my own originality, With the PERSONALITY of tracing paper. I look in the mirror and marvel at myself growing thicker, My imagination getting thinner, My appreciation depreciating at the very thought of my dinner. What can I eat but calories on a stick? Thick, thick... thick. Each mouthful a new trick conjured by someone trying to tease me, Ease me into a wobbling lump, A frump, A place where they can dump their new ideas and findings, Their light bulb moments so blinding they lead people like me to their deaths. Because what do I need but another mouth to feed? The mouth in my brain that's desperate for instruction, Construction, DESTRUCTION of its cells. Each thought more macabre than the last as I dissect the absolute FARCE that has become my identity. I am by all intents and purposes human in the flesh. A sack full of bones and DNA, Of which, so they say, differ from body to body. And yet I'm a clone of everyone I've known because everyone's left Their imprint on me. I may not have wanted it but I had no choice, No voice, No ability to say no. Because I couldn't find the right words to dictate what I wanted to say. My tongue wouldn't move in an articulate way, So I forgot how to speak. And now I find myself silenced; a mute of imagination, A lack of creation, Practically a crustacean- I'm a mere shell of what I once was. Which brings me back to drowning. Drowning? In waters so harsh but land is so sparse how do I get back? Because creativity is the building blocks of humanity without we are Lost out to sea.
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Jan 7, 2018
Jan 7, 2018 at 12:54 PM UTC
The Farcical Destruction Of Ones personality.
I think I might be drowning? Drowning? Frowning and crowning myself a queen, because that's what I'm told I am. I am by all intents and purposes; human in the flesh. I've seen love and labour lost too many times, I've seen cost and favour tossed to one side. I'm a lean, mean regurgitating machine. I give out party favours like I'm frightened to bite the hand that feeds. I'm a photocopy of my own originality, With the PERSONALITY of tracing paper. I look in the mirror and marvel at myself growing thicker, My imagination getting thinner, My appreciation depreciating at the very thought of my dinner. What can I eat but calories on a stick? Thick, thick... thick. Each mouthful a new trick conjured by someone trying to tease me, Ease me into a wobbling lump, A frump, A place where they can dump their new ideas and findings, Their light bulb moments so blinding they lead people like me to their deaths. Because what do I need but another mouth to feed? The mouth in my brain that's desperate for instruction, Construction, DESTRUCTION of its cells. Each thought more macabre than the last as I dissect the absolute FARCE that has become my identity. I am by all intents and purposes human in the flesh. A sack full of bones and DNA, Of which, so they say, differ from body to body. And yet I'm a clone of everyone I've known because everyone's left Their imprint on me. I may not have wanted it but I had no choice, No voice, No ability to say no. Because I couldn't find the right words to dictate what I wanted to say. My tongue wouldn't move in an articulate way, So I forgot how to speak. And now I find myself silenced; a mute of imagination, A lack of creation, Practically a crustacean- I'm a mere shell of what I once was. Which brings me back to drowning. Drowning? In waters so harsh but land is so sparse how do I get back? Because creativity is the building blocks of humanity without we are Lost out to sea.
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white skin the right skin i havent got that light skin dark neither im just a shade inbetween and what does that mean? im never seen as the person i am, only not white enough not dark enough not good enough well im trying im trying to fit but pictures arent complete when half the pictures missing. rejected by both sides how can you take pride when you dont look the part? its been an art to refine walking on the fine line between them and them but lately theyve asked me silent words to jump off that ledge push over the edge but which one? help me help me help me but you cant can you? because the blood in your body the same as their veins makes you not understand. a predisposition a position taken by yourself or by society? and when i work twice as hard but she with her photocopy paper money and skin when i do everything you ask and more? you take her money you take her skin you give her another opportunity to prove something her colour’s already proven
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May 24, 2018
May 24, 2018 at 2:44 PM UTC
under my skin
Life is a four letter word powerful enough to change the whole world🌍 It's plenty of surprises that cannot be seen nor heard.. It can only be lived, till we meet what we were born for.. death And we leave with the memories left.. How to live? Who to believe? Life is a moment, And for you it was meant.. What's right for them can be wrong for you, Cause only you know what you go through...no matter their point of view.. Don't let life be just another word among many in a simple dictionary.. Live it the way nobody else ever did.. Impossible? More than 7 billion people, And god is still creating instead of just photocopying.. Then why be a photocopy? Only you know how to live.. Life never deceives.. Be who you wanna be, See life the way you wanna see.. Cause YOUR life has never been lived before.. Let them all out and close the door🚪 There's a specific reason why god chose to put only one specific soul in a specific body, So that you're free to make your own choices.. Why listen to those voices? Living a life already lived contains too much expectations.. You are one in billions.. What is life? Lying on your death bed, With millions of memories in your head, As your vision fades away, As time ticks life away.. You will find out that you've lived it's definition all life long🌼 -Sharvish®
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Apr 28, 2021
Apr 28, 2021 at 5:57 PM UTC
Life
Landmarks of years passed. Snapshots are easier to remember than memories. I study them like math once. I looked upon the tiger's year. And saw my mother's face in my own for the first time. A milestone of this pain she gave me. Was I allowed to look like her now that she was leaving?
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Aug 18, 2025
Aug 18, 2025 at 10:03 PM UTC
Photocopy
A six year old once Thought of a great plan A huge kite Made out of ivory sheets, Broomsticks and yarn spool Finish it before evening Tie himself Ride the breeze And fly to the moon He knew every evening Winds died out by the time bells ring In temple at street corner And be finished before seven thirty When mom shouts him down the roof One of the troubles Was he didn’t have anyone To hold the string in place But tying the kite to Iron grill would work he assumed But his sister won’t tell him Where the glue was And he didn't have enough string To reach the moon So he borrowed some Wool yarn from an unfinished Sweater grandma made last year A matching red for my kite But much to do With not much time Sky was getting orangier Mosquitoes noisier Time for quick decisions Sitting on water tank Gazing at the sky Kids flying them like inebriated pilots Failing and falling like leaves Thinking of those fools I could do better Fly higher If only a bit older Three decades later Searching for a forsaken photocopy He found a drawing Made on a summer evening A red kite smiling in clouds With a half moon behind it
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Feb 3, 2021
Feb 3, 2021 at 7:11 AM UTC
Little red kite
I have really bad anxiety, so I really don't like talking to strangers. At the library, I brought ten cents, a roll of tape, and scissors from home. I did this so I could make a photocopy, and not have to deal with people. However, when I used the photocopier, I did it wrong, and got nothing. So, I had to go and ask for help. I was a little bit nervous, but more annoyed with the photocopier. Actually, I kept thinking it was because the photocopier just wasn't working right. So, after I went to the front desk, they redirected me to the reference desk upstairs. Now, I just thanked the lady, and went upstairs to get some help from them. The lady up there and nice and helped me, and I learned that I had done it wrong when I was downstairs. After I thanked her for her help, I stayed upstairs & went to an empty left sided cubby, & my schedule didn't change after that. I didn't realize until I was done with my Japanese studying for the day, that I hadn't had an anxiety attack. And just now, I realized why that was. I was so busy needing help to photocopy, that I just didn't think about it. I didn't think that I was talking to a complete stranger, because I was too busy thinking about my task at hand. Now, this might not be possible for me every day, but today, it was. And with how bad my anxiety is, it makes me happy when I don't succumb to it. I mean, just now, I have to try and contain it, because someone sat down beside me at the other guest computer here downstairs. This makes me anxious, but she's not talking to me, so I'm just trying to act like she's not there. I always get nervous that someone's gonna talk to me, for some reason. And if someone talks to me while I'm eating when I'm outside, I just concentrate on my food, so I don't shut down. I can talk for a second, but I always feel relieved when they walk away. I mean, the lady just left, and I feel more at ease now. I hate feeling this way, but that's the way it is. I'm still learning how to manage my anxiety, but I did get things done today, so I think I'm doing okay. Alright, I only have 6 more minutes until my 20 minutes on this guest computer are up, then I'm gonna go eat. You know, I like this schedule, I really like coming to the library. I actually wanna write a lot more, but I don't have much time. I might write more when I go upstairs for the 120 minutes that those computers provide, but I might not. I still have to work on my notebook that I'm writing for my new story. But first, I have to complete all of the notebook, then I have to completely type up everything that I wrote down. And when it comes to printing it out, that will be done at home. At least, I hope it will be done at home. I just don't wanna be a nuisance to everyone else who may want the printer. But that's at least another week or two down the road, so I don't even need to think about that right now. Alright, I think I'm done until after I eat my lunch and go back upstairs. And I'm not going to say bye, because I think I'm gonna come back on before I continue working on the notebook. So instead, I'll say, see you later!
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Oct 5, 2018
Oct 5, 2018 at 1:51 PM UTC
Being Preoccupied Helped My Anxiety Today
I have really bad anxiety, so I really don't like talking to strangers. At the library, I brought ten cents, a roll of tape, and scissors from home. I did this so I could make a photocopy, and not have to deal with people. However, when I used the photocopier, I did it wrong, and got nothing. So, I had to go and ask for help. I was a little bit nervous, but more annoyed with the photocopier. Actually, I kept thinking it was because the photocopier just wasn't working right. So, after I went to the front desk, they redirected me to the reference desk upstairs. Now, I just thanked the lady, and went upstairs to get some help from them. The lady up there and nice and helped me, and I learned that I had done it wrong when I was downstairs. After I thanked her for her help, I stayed upstairs & went to an empty left sided cubby, & my schedule didn't change after that. I didn't realize until I was done with my Japanese studying for the day, that I hadn't had an anxiety attack. And just now, I realized why that was. I was so busy needing help to photocopy, that I just didn't think about it. I didn't think that I was talking to a complete stranger, because I was too busy thinking about my task at hand. Now, this might not be possible for me every day, but today, it was. And with how bad my anxiety is, it makes me happy when I don't succumb to it. I mean, just now, I have to try and contain it, because someone sat down beside me at the other guest computer here downstairs. This makes me anxious, but she's not talking to me, so I'm just trying to act like she's not there. I always get nervous that someone's gonna talk to me, for some reason. And if someone talks to me while I'm eating when I'm outside, I just concentrate on my food, so I don't shut down. I can talk for a second, but I always feel relieved when they walk away. I mean, the lady just left, and I feel more at ease now. I hate feeling this way, but that's the way it is. I'm still learning how to manage my anxiety, but I did get things done today, so I think I'm doing okay. Alright, I only have 6 more minutes until my 20 minutes on this guest computer are up, then I'm gonna go eat. You know, I like this schedule, I really like coming to the library. I actually wanna write a lot more, but I don't have much time. I might write more when I go upstairs for the 120 minutes that those computers provide, but I might not. I still have to work on my notebook that I'm writing for my new story. But first, I have to complete all of the notebook, then I have to completely type up everything that I wrote down. And when it comes to printing it out, that will be done at home. At least, I hope it will be done at home. I just don't wanna be a nuisance to everyone else who may want the printer. But that's at least another week or two down the road, so I don't even need to think about that right now. Alright, I think I'm done until after I eat my lunch and go back upstairs. And I'm not going to say bye, because I think I'm gonna come back on before I continue working on the notebook. So instead, I'll say, see you later!
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