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Why’d it happen?
Why’d it happen so suddenly?
Why’d it seem like everything was fine?
Why’d it seem like you were gonna be okay?
Why’d it change so quickly?
Why’d it decide your time had come?
Why’d it decide it was time for you to go?
Why’d it not let you say goodbye to me?
Why’d it think you were supposed to leave?
Why’d it think you couldn’t write anymore?
Why’d it think you couldn’t cut paper hearts?
Why’d it think you couldn’t leave that room?
Why’d it make them think you had pneumonia?
Why’d it make you leave this world last week?
Why’d it decide you had to go so far away?
Why’d it make you leave without another word?
Why’d it make me excited for a letter I won’t get?
Why’d it make me think I would hear from you?
Why’d it make me think that you were okay?
Why’d it make me feel like you could get better?
Why’d it make me hope you would come back?
Why’d it make me wish you would be cured?
Why’d it make me see only the good in this?
Why’d it make me think you wouldn’t like this?
Why’d it give me this pressure in my chest bone?
Why’d it make me have to write all this out?
Why’d it think a poem would help me heal?
Why’d it think that grieving had to be like this?
Why’d it make me unable to shed a tear for you?
Why’d it make me have to ask these questions?
Why’d it take you away from me like this?
Why will I never have answers to my questions?
Why can I never see you in person again?
Why do I have to watch a video to hear you talk?
Why do I need pictures now to see your face?
Why do I feel sad when I hear Cher songs?
Why did we share that kind of connection?
Why couldn’t you just stay a while longer?
Why couldn’t you leave to get help sooner?
Why did you think nothing was wrong?
Why did you have to be forced to move away?
Why did you always see the good in everything?
Why did you always let me mess up your hair?
Why were you so patient and understanding?
Why did you watch YouTube videos with me?
Why did you agree to be in a video with me?
Why did you think everything I did was fun?
Why did I think everything we did was fun?
Why did I think messing with your hair was fun?
Why am I acting like I don’t know anything?
Why am I questioning why you did those things?
I know you loved watching videos with me.
I know you loved hearing me laugh all the time.
I know that you had gel that made your hair fun.
I know you enjoyed spending time with me.
I know you loved bringing a tote full of gifts.
I know you didn’t want to retire when you did.
I know you enjoyed your job and wanted to stay.
I know that life was very hard for you.
I know that you always put everyone before you.
I know you moved away because you had to.
I know you enjoyed writing letters with me.
I know you loved making those paper hearts.
I know you loved being my Grammie.
I know I loved having you be my Grammie.
I know I only had you in my life for 22 years.
I know my Dad & Uncle now have no parents.
I know you missed Grampie and Casey a lot.
I know Casey was an amazing & sweet dog.
I know Grampie was funny and your love.
I know you missed Casey, then lost Grampie.
I know you’ve missed other people for a while.
I know you fought for those last moments.
I know you thought you would be okay.
I know that you accepted it when it was time.
I know you weren’t in any pain when you left.
I just wish you didn’t have to die to feel at peace.
I just wish you didn’t have to disappear forever.
I just wish I had known that last letter was it.
I wish I had been able to say a real goodbye.
I don’t know what to do with all the letters now.
I don’t know how to move on with you leaving.
I don’t know why I don’t feel like crying.
I don’t know if it’s because emotions are hard.
I don’t know if it’s because Autism is hard.
I just know that I’m happy you’re happy now.
I’m happy you don’t need that tub anymore.
I’m happy you don’t need to worry anymore.
I’m happy I don’t need to worry anymore.
I’m happy that you’re with the people you love.
I’m happy that you are definitely up in the sky.
I’m happy that you’re an angel looking down.
I’m not be religious or like angels, but I love you.
I know that there is more to life than this one.
I know that this isn’t the only life we have.
I know that people are reborn all the time.
I know that we either do it quick, or wait.
I hope you don’t decide to wait for us.
I hope you go right to your new life.
I hope you get to come back however you want.
I hope you’re happy wherever you are now.
I hope I can someday listen to Cher happily.
I can listen now, but she reminds me of you.
I always said that she kinda looks like you.
I can’t thank you enough for making me a fan.
I can’t thank you enough for being here for me.
I hope you know that your love was felt by me.
I’m sorry that I couldn’t write to you more.
I’m just happy you still kept writing to me.
I want you to know that I read every letter.
I kept every single heart that you made for me.
I love how you started to make the envelopes.
I will keep you with me for the rest of my life.
I will never forget you.
I will love you forever and ever.
I will always be your “Sweetie”.
I love you, Grammie.
I’m writing this because I’ve had a weird pressure in my chest bone. One that didn’t hurt, but wasn’t very comfortable either. I didn’t know what had caused it. And yesterday, I learned it was because I wasn’t letting myself grieve for my Grammie. I just don’t feel like crying, so I don’t know how else I’m supposed to grieve for her. But today, I thought that if I wrote this, I might feel better. I decided to write it in a poem, because I haven’t been on here in a while. I don’t know if any of you will even read this. If you do, and you’ve lost your grandparent, I’m so sorry. I hope remembering the good times will help you find peace in the sadness. Thanks for reading this if you did.
Well, those eight days were really going great!
And then, a bad cold wiped me out for 2 weeks.
Now, I’m at the point where I need to start over.
I’m going to think soon of how to do that.
In the meantime, I’m gonna get some stuff done.
I’m gonna get caught up w/ my Korean studies.
Then, I’m gonna start catching up on Japanese.
This is going to take some time, but I can do it!
When I get back on track, I’ll get a new routine!
Until then, that’s all I really have to say.
I’ll talk to you all later!
Have to start all over soon, and that’s okay!
I didn’t think I was gonna be able to do this.
I saw when I woke up that it was still raining.
I heard thunder during MITB last night.
I wasn’t sure if my spot would be dry, but it is.
I even brought my rain jacket just to be safe.
I really like being at this spot each day, honestly.
I’m keeping up with the routine, as I should be.
I even started changing into PJs each night!
I started that on day 3 or 4, but forgot to say it.
I might be wide awake now, but I still forget.
I think the forgetfulness is just a part of me.
I accept that, and I fully accept myself, I like me.
I also like this daily routine, and I’m very happy.
I don’t have much more to report besides that.
I’ll talk again tomorrow afternoon, bye!
I really like how this daily routine thing is going!
I did, I went to my spot, going against my plan.
I can also say that I don’t regret it in the less.
I can do what I want, as it's my daily routine.
I make the rules, so I can add new ones as well.
I also made sure to set my alarm for 5:30pm.
I’m watching WWE Money In The Bank tonight.
I’m gonna be watching it with my dad.
I almost forgot to do this entry, actually.
I got caught up in studying my Japanese cards.
I made FlashCards for all the Hiragana words.
I’m going set by set, that’s how my brain works.
I got the first half of the first set of cards done.
I mean, I think I do, and that’s really good!
I’m learning because WWE Asuka is Japanese.
I wanna know what she says, so I’m learning.
I’m a huge fan, as my dad could tell you.
I'm wearing her socks in case she’s on MITB!
I can say that today is going very well, also.
I still love the daily routine, and will keep it.
I’m gonna get back to my Japanese now.
I’ll talk to you again tomorrow afternoon, bye!
I’m really enjoying this a lot!
I began the daily routine for the weekend today.
I can say that it has gone very well, so far.
I really enjoy doing this, as I keep saying.
I just don’t know what else to say about this.
I can say that I added another walk last night.
I wanted to go to my spot one more time.
I did, and it went very well, aside from flies.
I’m having that little issue again, but it’s fine.
I know that flies come with spring and summer.
I might need to start taking bug spray, maybe.
I think I can deal with it, though.
I can’t think of anything else to say.
I’ll talk again tomorrow, bye!
Another good day when it comes to the daily routine.
I can’t say enough how much I love this!
I love how structured it is, and it really is!
I know, there are gonna be those days.
I know I’ll just have to deal with those days.
I’ll have to remind myself that it’s okay.
I can always make up for lost time the next day.
I haven’t had to do that yet, but I know I will.
I know what I’m doing, and I’m cool with that.
I’m doing my first Friday, and I love that!
I don’t have much else to report today, just that.
I’ll be back tomorrow for Day 5, bye!
This is so much fun!
I’m finding it very easy to keep up with this.
I didn’t know it would be this helpful!
I know yesterday was a good day, but still.
I’m just feeling like this is very simple.
I know what to do, and when to do it.
I really feel like I’m waking up after quiet time.
I guess thirty-five minutes of rest is really good!
I also like coming out here, just to sit for a while.
I feel like I’m doing what I really want to do!
I just can’t believe how quickly I’m used to it.
I think this was a really great idea to have.
I love this daily routine thing, to be honest.
I also like doing this check in thing each day.
I don’t know what else to say anymore.
I guess I’ll leave it at that for today.
I’ll be back tomorrow, bye!
Making progress, and feeling good about it!
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