I rode behind him, ******* on a handsome steed,
My head against his strong, fragrant, sweaty back,
I'm sure, as we reached the woods with speed,
That he deliberately rode off the beaten track.
A cabin stood not fat from us,my heart began to race,
My body ached for his soft wet tongue, to slip beneath my lace,
The lake was like an ice rink, not a ripple to be seen,
I fantasised my open legs would float him in between.
Dismounting with such grace, he held out his arms so strong,
And swept me down upon the grass, inhibitions gone,
We shared each moment tenderly at first, with touch and taste,
The water hid our mouths and hands,my chastity he chased,
The ripples increasing faster now, our passion mounting so,
And breathless panting i let out, while learning what he showed,
The fluid love between us seeped from me, and then from him,
Explosions i have never felt before, and never since,
We dressed eachother gently, taking in eachothers beauty,
And off he carried me toward the cabin, intent on marital duty..

                       "But That's Another Story"


(c) eileen mcgreevy 2009

My freedom of expression,
Or, freedom to exist...
I've had to suppress, any implication,
That I was free, IT was free,
Or that I could rest.
My obligations became innovations,
My "freedom" was a serious test.

Shut my mouth.
Silence my thought.
Burn holes in my own sky...
To survive,
Just to... Get by.

There's no blood on the hand
of the devil begging for a gun...
But, the blood of my son,
My thoughts, my thighs,
My sun, my sky...
I'm paralyzed.
I idealized and fantasised
...a metaphor...
Something in-between dead and alive.

But this is literal.

Cry freedom for a body that fails.
An existing breath that bent steel.
Locked in the prison with 10 wardens.
Slave to a super power.
And I'm furious you sent me a bill.
I ate your currency.
I'm... Fed... Up.

Your devil is free to stare,
poke fun and share
...the misery...
...my suffering...
I'm paralyzed.

This is literal.

we're both empty,
we're both in search of
happiness, love,
companionship, hope,

both in search
of each other,
but yet,
she would never allow it,

she's above it,
she's against it,
she elevates herself to a level far beyond mine.

******* she's never considered it,
thought about it, fantasised about it,
loved it, felt it,
it's all too real to deny,

but she keeps running
away,
hidden in plain sight,
teasing me,
that heartless *****.

i remain in limbo,
but with her, she could be
anywhere.


Buk reminded us;
death is inevitable- we're all heading towards it,
"that alone should
make us love
each other but it doesn't",

maybe if I sent her some poetry,
she'd realise i've been here
the whole time.

Something had broken,without falling,
     Yet the silence of my mind,
Had not been disturbed---
      rather had become deeper!

My love for her, was like flowing,
     In the river in an autumn flood;
My poems are like the murmur of a
         Stream, that used to make her refreshed and glad.
But in a fraction of time, everything changed---
   And I was obliged to take the blame!
O' dear life, let me live.....
No more blame me, for that grief!
I simply fall with her in an endless love,
And dreamed of a future as a beautiful scene,
Then, tell me, O'life...
       Why the love is a SIN?
I fantasised her beauty,
       With my anguished eyes;
I felt her sometimes, by an eternal bonding....
    As if we entouched by those times.
I simply loved her childliness,
    And sacrificed myself entirely;
Then, tell me, O'life, why I was moved to the way of destroy?
   Why was I pushed in a perished ravine?
Tell me, O' life, why the love is a SIN?

Limp, lifeless and longingly dry.
Like the packet of crumpets I lost to mould last week
The rot finds it place under my tongue.
I toy with ideas that maybe anger
Is the reason waves erode sandbanks
And the turbulent wind is why walls like us crumble...

T   U   R   B   U   L   A   N   C   E

The ambiguity of what happens now rings loud and clear
As another fear added to a never ending list.
Professionals would have a field day and a whole new genre within me.
But that's conformity.

The cavern with which my mind resides is dark
Chaotic and violent to say the least.
Self preservation is a fantasised option only present in the books
Surfing the stale wind inside my mind.

If you wanted normality it's taken you two years to undiscover it.

I'll beg each and every second for you to never leave the park bench
That sits across from me staring at everything behind.
I'd give all my soul, dreams and whatever hopes I think I have
To know that you're going to stay in my mind with me forever.

I'd give my heart just to know that you'll stay mine forever.

(16+)

Come sit down my child
whilst I tell you a little story,
about the son who was a wicked boy
and how he fell from glory.

It was upon a dark Sunday evening
betwixt the eleventh hour and the twelfth,
that our young boy
paid a fleeting visit to his sister, who was very ill of health.

Suffering, and weak with scabies,
pale skinned and lay bare on her bed,
thy demonic *******, was excited by her submission,
so laid her 'til she was dead.

And upon the following morning,
there was not a sound of his grieving
but that of his tired yawning,

as he put back on his clothes
wiped up the fingerprints
and carefully cleaned up her robes.

Because even he knew
that this secret little interest
was an illegal, sordid, act
of malicious ****** -

And so, seven long days after,
at the funeral he paid his dutiful respects
to the girl he'd fantasised about for countless years -

grinning sickly on the inside,
but still managing a few small tears.

An airport of exits and merits
in and out, side to side ruts
filtered destination tethered
fading back to a fed bubble

An airport of resits and delericts
back and forth, western rides
misconstrued openness analysed
tantalised, fantasised, revised

An airport of open cases and causes
where it has all stopped, the unpopped
in words called stalky trodden dreams*
*the crab waves a thorough goodbye

When it's your turn to love, even when you know that hearts break
you'll let them fall because that's what it is... a probability, sometimes
it works but sometimes it doesn't, that should not stop you though
embrace it if it's your turn to fall, sometimes it's from our hardest fall
that we find the forever we always fantasised... so fall, fall
when your heart says you should take the leap, fall when it feels right
fall when you see the abyss you trust can hold you in a cyclone of affection
fall when the voice in your head keeps poking you to stop holding back...
Hearts break, but they are the only apparatus that works even when it's
broken, so embrace your turn to fall, fall for those your soul does embrace
after all they say we lose more holding dammed our passions
than we risk losing entrusting the pearl of our hearts with those we love...

It hurts knowing,
You don't like me
All these feelings growing
Everything was too easy to foresee

You wouldn't need my presence
I should have been clairvoyant
I won't have to be jealous
Our lives would have been flamboyant

Our fantasised reminiscence
Erased from existence,
There was an obvious difference
The hopes are in evanescence

This poem is a requiem
For our long lost love
An imaginary emblem
Nothing else to top above.

1.
A seducer snails’ past
Her Calling mission has reviled
Undoubting triumph

2．
Olympic monument
Reunification spikes
spirits of justice

3.
Her calling mission
Transmit to earnestly love
Unveiled the truth

4.
Harmonize rhythmic move
with a secular ring
She performs a wild ballet 

5.
The waves of light
Transparent erase recreation.
Wind swirled her faith

6.
An entire steel
fairies bumble, tumble, fumble 
in bloom white

7
Mysterious sketch
An angle of 17 degree
legendary explore


8.
136 meter measures
holly patient in affliction
ego human mind

9.
Fantasised loop
how sad that it’s not aware
tremble gamble dreams

10.
Clouds rumbles
He moves toward the sun 
Gold torch, birds crowd

11.
Calatrava attribute to Gaudi
The earth’s great sketch trick
eyes to hip in glories.

12.
Emotions are tides
Barcelona was heir to full
gazing at distant galaxies

You and I have fantasised
About too many golden sunrises
And yet we always sleep through dawn
Always wake up seconds too late
When grandeur has faded into familiarity

Our bodies are bruised
From all the invisible rocks we have hurled at each other
Our lungs tired from breathing toxic air
Our ankles sore from dragging chains
My fingers are covered in papercuts
From the edge in your voice

We have handcuffed each other
And put leashes around our necks
Confining each other to this birdcage house
Afraid to be the one that has to watch
The other fly free

Yesterday I tried to find the movie stub
From our first date
And instead found my pockets
Stuffed with fist-fulls of receipts
For things neither of us bought

Like the black hole in our bed
That occupies centre stage in our polka dot bedsheets
It swallows the words we speak
And refuses to let them echo
How many conversations have we drowned
With alcohol and tears
How many keys have we thrown away
To lie in a mound ten feet tall
Keys that could have opened the doors
To our secret stash of confessions and apologies
That could have saved us
On the nights that you wrap your arms around me
I can feel your body curving along the edge of the hole
Trying not to fall through
Determined to maintain miles between us
Even though I can feel your breath on my neck

Our living room is covered with pictures of strangers
Because we are afraid of stapling our own faces to the walls
Afraid of calling this prison a home
Afraid of making what had started out as temporary
A permanent affair
So instead we crawl from day to day
Skipping each sunrise as it comes

Oh darling Flower Child, you speak ever so pretty
Your breath is like the summer wind, young and warm
However with such lovely youth, comes such a pity
Too many thoughts come and swarm
Upon your gentle tongue is such very good advice
However, seldom do you follow such good thoughts, oh, what a price

For wisdom that comes from yonder year
You do not know. What you say, I love to hear
Because I want to learn
I want to learn from your fantasised mistake
Be bold, be daring, act out of turn
Tell him you love him, Flower Child; gamble all your hesitations upon that stake

I swear by all my moons and stars, he will love you back
He would be a fool not to love your soul, untainted and beguiled
And your verdant eyes and your wit sharp as a tack
For all your eccentricities and more, you will be loved, dearest Flower Child
So, open your mouth and speak: relish the uncertainty
To the adventurous winds you speak of in breaths of eternity

Tell him Flower Child of the love you have for him
Even if your heart is fit to break at there mere thought
Tell him of the wondrous quibbles, of the loving hymn
That you wrote for him; of the words for him you wrote
Into lovely wreaths of poetry
Laced with dulcet sincerity

Quit your flower fortunes; stop blowing dandelion seeds
Your precious little dandelions are but weeds
Stop plucking petals from roses; white painted red
They do not know your heart, they do not know your head
They are but plants, dearest Flower Child
They have no sense for sensibilities so pay their predictions no mind
I know you wish to surrender to your feelings; breathe as wild
As the winds of fortune in your mouth and you may just find
That your first love may just be your first lover
But there is only one way for such sweet feelings to be discovered.

At Gordon Hill
I climbed aboard
A lazy day
For being bored

Enfield sweltered
Beneath the sun
Then I saw her
She looked like fun

Her torn blue jeans
Showed sun-brown thigh
As Hertfordshire
Slipped quickly by

An English miss
Of that no doubt
My usual type
Is short and stout

But on that train
Just her and I
Her slender form
Did keep my eye

Both Welwyn bound
A summer's day
I fantasised
Us in the hay

That kept the shade
Of her fair hair
They put her there
For me to stare

A poster girl
She was you see
On British Rail's
Class Three One Three.

I wish I didn't think on you
I wish I didn't think on him
I wish the image of yet another
Long-gone, long-imprinted former lover
Didn't buoy and continued to swim
I wish Love was out of my view.

I wish I'd played a better hand
I wish I'd tilled the soil before
I wish the image of a past future
Didn't rip open the suture
Of my trying to forget the lore
I weaved around a much-fantasised land.

I wish I didn't wish in vain
I wish that I'd let die and live
I wish the image of Her, myself,
Didn't taunt me from my shelf
I made a dusty shrine, forgive
The trespass that I own, in pain.

I wish that I were sober, honey,
And a little drunker, for my money,
Though I invested little, and I die:
I hope I will not breath last 'til I try.

You're not worth it,
Though it took me a while to realize, it even fooled me a bit.
I thought the words would've never left my mouth
I question it all , like was it an adventure , i doubt.
I guess you making me feel important and pretty was all i wanted to see
But you changed, turned into a cold human being.
Left me with all the feelings and memories,
Wishing and contemplating me and you was gonna be something but I don't believe in fairies.
I wanted you, i wanted all of you,
But all I have of you is the worst things you do,
The hurt you put me through, the lies you led me on with and your amuse.
See I didn't think you would ever treat me like everyone else,
I didn't want to believe it but I had to start listening to myself.
Though you was all I fantasised about, I had us all planned out.
But I don't want it anymore, i wanted to be there for you but you acted like a fool,
I wanted to love you and ride for you but you didn't wanted to rule.
Now all I got are the shattered pieces, don't flatter yourself you didn't' break me,
Though you help me see we aren't meant to be,
Can we pretend like we never met, I forgot how good you are at pretending you don't know me.
It's finish, I let go, I moved on
Hope you'd treat that other girl better who comes along.
All i've got is a broken memory,
I just thought you saw something different in me.
Should've left it at hi and bye,
I still can't believe how it all turned out,Sigh.
I use to force myself to stop thinking about you, and you had no clue.
I thought you cared but i'm a fool.
I'm the realest, someone is gonna appreciate my heart, i'm greatful we depart.
Thank you, i've fought you though it was hard,
Probally i'm over exaggerating but what I felt was deep,
I guess that's what made me weak.
I guess thinking was what made me dumb but those who've never fall ,
Wouldn't know where I'm coming from.


-dpk

I'm sorry,
I'm sorry my body wasn't enough to make you stay.
I'm sorry that I loved you before I learnt to love myself,
I'm sorry that I fantasised about your eyes meeting mine.
I'm sorry that I loved you too hard,
I'm sorry.
But most of all I'm sorry that I gave you my heat without caring for what would happen to it.

Last night I fantasised that I was swallowed by your eyes,
a dream it seems but oh how real to almost feel you feeding on me.

Tell me who
does not dream
and I'll show you
an empty tomb.

flesh and blood
I am.

And then I wake
and have to shake my head
set free the fantasy
go on with the day
hoping to see
you
tonight.

when every day may be the last
when each and every minute
passes by,
to get by
I remember
last night 
when I was food
for your eyes

Can you hear her?

Is she blonde,
Or a cute brunnete,
Or curvy?
Or slender,
But you wouldnt understand;

She stands tall, though,

She doesn't understand my jokes, hic,

She can't see my love
Until it's perniciously obvious, hic,

Or care until I deeply know,

She deeply knows.

Maybe you can't see,
But, hic,

She wouldn't know if I fantasised about gazing in her eyes.

A happy soul got bumped into darkness and was cold for a very long time
Unable to recall how essential happiness was in her life
Never dreamt to view the path she deserved so kept sobbing in blind
One fine day a salvager caught her sight, prying to uncover her precious smile
With the belief and ray of sunshine, he sailed along beyond the sky
Charmed her into a universe with airy aurora and a unique depart  It twinkled on with the fragrance of privilege to which she belonged
She was honoured with the respect she deserved, and glowed when sensed the happiness by his side
They agreed to create memories of life time to fantasised
All of it would flee with blink of an eye , he predicted it but she was was in denial
She infused her effots to block the downfall, was defeated by the strength of the srround
Did not surrender and budged briskly, saved her world but with visible ruptures
Realised being firm than himfom within she chose to knock the door from the past
Envelope in the blanket of darkness, she felt her heart release her soul at ease

I thought

that

             in some

fantasised version of

our

     Love,

                 you'd come in my life

in a

perfect            cliché

of

         roses and chocolates