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"dosage" poems
Let me tell you about highschool Let me tell you about the girls with hair higher then they can reach The boys with the careless hair The love intre- No Let me tell you about MY highschool With the nerd shirts and phrases that most don’t understand With the football games and the blue and white face paint The girls talking to me with another pair of lips rather than the ones plastered on their face No Let me tell you about life About the dew drops in the morning The smile hidden in a stranger as he orders his double mocha triple shot dosage of love Injected No Let me tell you about me Let me tell you about my mom and her thin lips that orchestrate fat lies Let me tell you about my dad who treats the bottle like the daughter he never wanted Let me tell you about my school life and the way I get treated No Let me tell you a story A story about ups and downs Pills and coke and ***** With books and love interests I cant fit my life into a poem I can tell you my love life in a poem My scars in a poem My hate in a poem My fears in a poem I can’t tell you my life I can tell you about my surroundings How I always try to be strong But you can only stick your head near ***** for so long Before you start smelling what they're saying. I can tell you about homophobia About the men who flinch at the very word ****** Or the girls who are so uncomfortable with themselves they starve I can tell you about the parents childless because of bullying So tell me What do you want to hear today?
0
Sep 17, 2012
Sep 17, 2012 at 12:26 AM UTC
Story Time
Let me tell you about highschool Let me tell you about the girls with hair higher then they can reach The boys with the careless hair The love intre- No Let me tell you about MY highschool With the nerd shirts and phrases that most don’t understand With the football games and the blue and white face paint The girls talking to me with another pair of lips rather than the ones plastered on their face No Let me tell you about life About the dew drops in the morning The smile hidden in a stranger as he orders his double mocha triple shot dosage of love Injected No Let me tell you about me Let me tell you about my mom and her thin lips that orchestrate fat lies Let me tell you about my dad who treats the bottle like the daughter he never wanted Let me tell you about my school life and the way I get treated No Let me tell you a story A story about ups and downs Pills and coke and ***** With books and love interests I cant fit my life into a poem I can tell you my love life in a poem My scars in a poem My hate in a poem My fears in a poem I can’t tell you my life I can tell you about my surroundings How I always try to be strong But you can only stick your head near ***** for so long Before you start smelling what they're saying. I can tell you about homophobia About the men who flinch at the very word ****** Or the girls who are so uncomfortable with themselves they starve I can tell you about the parents childless because of bullying So tell me What do you want to hear today?
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40
Where I was, was bad, But where I am is worse. I feel like they’re taking away who I am, Filling my bloodstream with anti-depressants, Forcing me to become someone I’m not Someone I don’t want to be. The fact remains that my sadness defined me Struggling against the medication Desperately attempting to hold onto the part of me that’s me Wanting so badly for my days to mean something Instead of the same bland depressing schedule I face everyday The pills do nothing but supress my suicidal thoughts to my subconcious So I'm forced to fake a smile, one unlike any other. This one is to keep them from increasing my dosage, And I'm scared. I've never felt so alone This is what I get For asking for help
0
May 5, 2015
May 5, 2015 at 12:38 AM UTC
Anti-Depressants
MY GOD, I HAVE INHALED ABANDONMENT FOR SO LONG, THAT ANY SCENT OF LOVE IN THE AIR, MAKES IT HARD FOR ME TO BREATHE. PLUS, THE TANKS OF OXYGEN ALWAYS SEEM TO BE MIXED WITH A HIGH DOSAGE OF PUSHING PEOPLE AWAY, AND I WEAR THE MASKS SO OFTEN, I FORGET I EVEN HAVE THEM ON.
0
Sep 5, 2016
Sep 5, 2016 at 5:47 PM UTC
*deep breathe in*
My heart bleeds blue at midnight. I heard owls hooting in my despair. Alone ,I lay naked underneath the beaming moonlight. I touch slowly my neck and close my eyes. Thinking of a predator I been waiting for a lifetime slowly slithering its warmth on my thighs.So preciously antagonizing my soul with its piercing eyes.It's breath is an intimidating musical hiss. I crave it's injection. Hiss between every piercing kiss.I touched myself harder as the owls hooted into the moonlight. I needed you. Imagining my predator teasing my heated skin with its cold fangs. Immensely waiting for its long hollow teeth to pierce me. While wishing, it instantly became the predator of my heart as it slither around my skin.The music began to start.Predator started to taunt, looking for the sweetest fatal bite.My soul began gasping harder, My predator, oh please prey on me harder.Slither uncontrollably, slither harder as my breaths change heavily. Predator inject itself slowly through every bite.Oh I am in love.It was perfect dosage. This is love. Intoxicating every blood vessel of my body.Every bite,I felt more yours. I instantly became weaker, your bite was the perfect dosage for the **** It was perfect dosage.The perfect poison. This was love. The perfect ********** Underneath the moonlight , vivaciously sweating naked I screamed. Longing more for your touch.The owl hooted once more, morning has come. I awake , I was loved for the first time. With its injection , The predator righteously own my crimson heart
0
Sep 25, 2015
Sep 25, 2015 at 3:21 AM UTC
Venomous ***
My heart bleeds blue at midnight. I heard owls hooting in my despair. Alone ,I lay naked underneath the beaming moonlight. I touch slowly my neck and close my eyes. Thinking of a predator I been waiting for a lifetime slowly slithering its warmth on my thighs.So preciously antagonizing my soul with its piercing eyes.It's breath is an intimidating musical hiss. I crave it's injection. Hiss between every piercing kiss.I touched myself harder as the owls hooted into the moonlight. I needed you. Imagining my predator teasing my heated skin with its cold fangs. Immensely waiting for its long hollow teeth to pierce me. While wishing, it instantly became the predator of my heart as it slither around my skin.The music began to start.Predator started to taunt, looking for the sweetest fatal bite.My soul began gasping harder, My predator, oh please prey on me harder.Slither uncontrollably, slither harder as my breaths change heavily. Predator inject itself slowly through every bite.Oh I am in love.It was perfect dosage. This is love. Intoxicating every blood vessel of my body.Every bite,I felt more yours. I instantly became weaker, your bite was the perfect dosage for the **** It was perfect dosage.The perfect poison. This was love. The perfect ********** Underneath the moonlight , vivaciously sweating naked I screamed. Longing more for your touch.The owl hooted once more, morning has come. I awake , I was loved for the first time. With its injection , The predator righteously own my crimson heart
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4
When you think of a drug addict, what do you see? Someone who’s messed up, depressed, or on the street. Sadly, there are quite a few of those freaks They need their daily dosage or their days incomplete. But what if I told you users aren’t the real drug addict? It’s the government…. They’re the real drug addicts But wait isn’t that a little dramatic? That cant be true! Show me some facts, I demand it! Alright, alright…. Hold on… if you demand it, here’s some facts then In 2011 the war on drugs cost 23 billion dollars But, that’s just the federal budget, you just wait, the states can replicate. Over 30 billion dollars were put on their plate That’s 53 billion total, 1716 of every second of every day… isn’t that insane!? Well yeah, you could say that’s insane, but I’m still not impressed, can you step up your game? Of course I can do that! I have much more to say! Okay then, I’m all ears, amaze my brain! From 1987 to 1995, the corrections budget increased 30% because more and more people were being thrown in the pent Meanwhile, spending on higher education was on the decent--- 18% to be correct Ah, that makes sense, but what I don’t get, is how that’s relevant? Just a sec, I have more to vent In 2010 21% of those in the pent were in for a drug related offense And what percent of people do you think had a malicious intent? Well… I guess you could say slim to none Right! While educations lacking the proper funds to teach kids what they need to know Okay, okay, I get what you’re saying now, but I still don’t get why you think the government is the drug addict? I mean, don’t users spend more on drugs than the government does? Drugs are expensive, and they take an abundance of money from a users pocket. Yes, that’s true, they spend more spend more money than the government does There are 20 million plus who reported using drugs in 2011, they spent around 70 billion dollars to support their love That’s 3500 dollars spent per user Meanwhile, just over 7 million people are employed by the gov You know what that means? Our gov spends 7300 dollars per person employed for the war on drugs. Wow… I never thought of it like that, those are quite the facts You know what, that actually makes me mad Obviously it makes our government a mockery, a living joke of a democracy I can see why you say the government is a drug addict now They’re addicted to a war that’s bringing us down They can’t go a day without spending money on it And look how successful it has been… pretty prominent their habit is chronic I even recently heard that more people die from drugs they’re prescribed than drugs that are despised Yes! I almost forgot that! It’s actually 10 times more people! Isn’t that unbelievable!? Now, we’re not trying to say we should end the war on drugs But don’t you think its time the government rethinks their strategy? Because its obvious the one they have now is a tragedy.
0
Feb 13, 2013
Feb 13, 2013 at 3:40 PM UTC
Drug Addict
When you think of a drug addict, what do you see? Someone who’s messed up, depressed, or on the street. Sadly, there are quite a few of those freaks They need their daily dosage or their days incomplete. But what if I told you users aren’t the real drug addict? It’s the government…. They’re the real drug addicts But wait isn’t that a little dramatic? That cant be true! Show me some facts, I demand it! Alright, alright…. Hold on… if you demand it, here’s some facts then In 2011 the war on drugs cost 23 billion dollars But, that’s just the federal budget, you just wait, the states can replicate. Over 30 billion dollars were put on their plate That’s 53 billion total, 1716 of every second of every day… isn’t that insane!? Well yeah, you could say that’s insane, but I’m still not impressed, can you step up your game? Of course I can do that! I have much more to say! Okay then, I’m all ears, amaze my brain! From 1987 to 1995, the corrections budget increased 30% because more and more people were being thrown in the pent Meanwhile, spending on higher education was on the decent--- 18% to be correct Ah, that makes sense, but what I don’t get, is how that’s relevant? Just a sec, I have more to vent In 2010 21% of those in the pent were in for a drug related offense And what percent of people do you think had a malicious intent? Well… I guess you could say slim to none Right! While educations lacking the proper funds to teach kids what they need to know Okay, okay, I get what you’re saying now, but I still don’t get why you think the government is the drug addict? I mean, don’t users spend more on drugs than the government does? Drugs are expensive, and they take an abundance of money from a users pocket. Yes, that’s true, they spend more spend more money than the government does There are 20 million plus who reported using drugs in 2011, they spent around 70 billion dollars to support their love That’s 3500 dollars spent per user Meanwhile, just over 7 million people are employed by the gov You know what that means? Our gov spends 7300 dollars per person employed for the war on drugs. Wow… I never thought of it like that, those are quite the facts You know what, that actually makes me mad Obviously it makes our government a mockery, a living joke of a democracy I can see why you say the government is a drug addict now They’re addicted to a war that’s bringing us down They can’t go a day without spending money on it And look how successful it has been… pretty prominent their habit is chronic I even recently heard that more people die from drugs they’re prescribed than drugs that are despised Yes! I almost forgot that! It’s actually 10 times more people! Isn’t that unbelievable!? Now, we’re not trying to say we should end the war on drugs But don’t you think its time the government rethinks their strategy? Because its obvious the one they have now is a tragedy.
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44
My edges have no border I seep & blotch the air My thoughts a chaotic disorder Laughing in silent despair Who am I? I’m the colorful mix Of the pills I take at night Grappling at the latest “fix” But I never get the dosage right So broken I shall stay To listen but not to obey I’m the perfect daughter I know I ought to be Smiling sequined next to my father A beautiful sight to see Painted fingertips, quiet lips But I’m slipping from sexist grips I’m the crash of atoms & molecules The patterned DNA that labels our culture Theorems, functions, evolutionary tools Poe knew: Science is a “vulture Whose wings are dull realities” Fact blinds what my mind sees Forgive me I’m singing Of what I am & cannot be & My ears are still ringing With who society has asked me to be
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Nov 7, 2012
Nov 7, 2012 at 5:10 PM UTC
Forgive me I'm singing
Anticipation is a powerful drug. It heals suffering Looking forward to something, such a fantastic feeling Everyone should experience Anticipation in their lifetime Everyone will experience Anticipation in their lifetime Anticipation kills fear and births happiness It creates smiles and destroys frowns And that moment When you finally feel the ****** the result of all built up Anticipation Truly jaw dropping Eye opening Great Anticipation is not for everyone, especially people who let it consume themselves too much And of those with Anxiety Some find it easy to confuse the feeling of Anxiety with the feeling of Anticipation A silly mistake, easily fixed with a simple dosage of Realization Warning, side effects of Anticipation may include Butterflies Nausea Diarrhea Wanting to sleep the day away to make the thing you are anticipating come faster Loss of appetite Over-excitement This does not effect everyone with Anticipation, however, One side effect that does inflict all is the satisfaction The satisfaction of the event behind all of this Anticipation
0
Jun 25, 2012
Jun 25, 2012 at 1:28 PM UTC
Anticipation
As far back as the middle age, then, Europe planted for our good; directed wisely by the sage, that all the places these trees stood, would be for pleasure and for food, for friendship, love and loyalty, that we be not misunderstood. Come stand beneath the Linden tree. The others, one tree would upstage; brought Slovenia nationhood. All meetings there they would engage beneath its branches, when they could, to benefit the neighborhood and people came from far to see the rulers of the public good. Come stand beneath the Linden tree. The Linden tree, it will assuage with blossom, root and bark basswood. Cure you with a proper dosage so take the tea just as you should. You'll be filled with such gratitude- drunk on flower scent heavenly. Come circle round this fine softwood. Come stand beneath the Linden tree. O prince let joy be understood: Come see the way we live so free. Come to our homes, come to our wood Come stand beneath the Linden tree.
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Apr 18, 2012
Apr 18, 2012 at 7:15 PM UTC
The Linden Tree (A Ballade -French Form)
i'll admit it i'm just trying to score some prozac; something to supplement the steroids that never seemed to ease the pain. my body never tolerated anything they gave me: all their alcohol distraction, all their **** carelessness, all their acid lifestyle, none of it. as for ecstasy, i never got the dosage right: i've been offered ersatz masterpieces and turned them all down, so they sacrificed their snatches to other gods, who happily and hungrily partook in the appetizing, dangerous bounty for which there is no cure. i was once appeased for my lust and committed love crimes, so i learned not take ecstasy until i tried the steroids. i'll admit it i'm just a pair of eyes in a white ocean
0
May 3, 2011
May 3, 2011 at 1:46 PM UTC
on ******** drugs and the meaning of life
Sigh I tap my pen on the desk like my teacher extracting my freedoms and plastering it on the whiteboard. He preaches and preaches about how he lost a game of golf last week I need to take a dosage of education, But whenever I take it I forget to check the side affects. SIDE AFFECTS MAY INCLUDE; -Boredom -Faeries pulling down on your eye lids making you fall into the pit of sleep. -Drifting in a car called imagination across this classroom. -Hands are under mind control as you draw twisters in your notebook . -NOTE: when you flip back to your notes when you are studying for a test, they will be useless Useless like "excuse me sir but is your love for the Broncos going to be on the test?" I feel like this teacher is testing me not on the subject, but how long it takes until one of the students in this class to go postal. Too soon? Sorry I should ship off my mouth to my mother cuz mommas got the magic of Clorox Bleach momma oh momma, use your powers to clean out my filthy mouth yet he is still talking, why is he still talking? I'm still writing this poem, Should I be writing notes on his college days Or should I wait until his head lands on this landing strip So he get his head can leave the clouds
0
Feb 4, 2014
Feb 4, 2014 at 6:11 PM UTC
Bored in class
There is a fine line between love and hate, Because both are very powerful feelings. There is fine line between making perfume and making poison, One chemical ingredient, dosage, etc. Changes the whole solution And if I'm right, Poison can never go back to being perfume, and roses cannot turn red again and the only thing I'm sure of is that I can't go back to being young, And they dare say that your young years are the best, I'm not. I'm the poison of my generation, The perfume gone wrong, I'm as toxic to myself as I am to others, May I remind each one of you of the burden I am, on your shoulders? May I remind you that the world turns a way and I run the other. And this, my friends, is toxic I'm like a hamster put in a cage, exhausted, on the verge of death My toxicity, is the burden of the world, It spreads like water in the sand, It spreads like the plague Toxicity is much worse than death, It is painful And consuming Like a role in a play In which the curtains never close.
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Jul 2, 2014
Jul 2, 2014 at 6:31 PM UTC
Toxicity
Relativity Sensibility If you ain't got perspective And you ain't reactive Then you aren't proactive These words only have meaning If you make them meaningful Advice should be a vice Get your daily dosage So in your old age You can be part of the new age The thoughts of many Has wisdom uncanny If you ain't ready And you aren't steady Then you lose yourself To the crowd
0
Aug 8, 2011
Aug 8, 2011 at 12:15 AM UTC
Relativity
- today, I was offered the chance to buy two 40 mg Adderall pills. At first I though, "Eh, a nice dime bag sounds better to me" But then I remembered my school's mandatory drug testing, and then I remembered this horrible writer's block that has been plaguing me. I had heard from friends in the past that the amphetamine-salt combo worked wonders for students. I had heard that the wonder drug made you do stuff. Any stuff. Anything. You can not sit still after popping over the dosage of Adderall. You clean your room, you read a book, you write an essay and for me, hopefully, write. Enough with the ******** It's been about forty minutes since I swallowed one and half pills and ground up and snorted another half of one. Okay. I feel as though I maybe breathing louder than normal. Also, I'm not writing one line and then switching over to tumblr as I usually do. Also, my room is really ***** Also, I've drunk two sprites and ate some leftover Chinese food. Also, it's really ******* quiet. It's eery. Also, yesterday in my English class this really nice openly gay kid named Connor walked across the class and as he did so this other kid sitting next to me whispered quite loudly ****** and I did nothing but sit there and angrily stare at my desk. Also, it's been eating me up inside ever since. Also, about an hour ago my mom took my (half) baby sister so see her **** of a) father. She said she'd be home around seven thirty and it's seven twenty eight but she's usually late. Also, I wish she would buy me cigarettes. Also, it's Thursday and I have a D- in Biology. **** Also, I might hangout with my friend Ryley tomorrow. Also, I might become a methamphetamine addict. Also, I spelled that without using spell check.
0
Jan 31, 2013
Jan 31, 2013 at 10:29 PM UTC
Adderall // Also.
- today, I was offered the chance to buy two 40 mg Adderall pills. At first I though, "Eh, a nice dime bag sounds better to me" But then I remembered my school's mandatory drug testing, and then I remembered this horrible writer's block that has been plaguing me. I had heard from friends in the past that the amphetamine-salt combo worked wonders for students. I had heard that the wonder drug made you do stuff. Any stuff. Anything. You can not sit still after popping over the dosage of Adderall. You clean your room, you read a book, you write an essay and for me, hopefully, write. Enough with the ******** It's been about forty minutes since I swallowed one and half pills and ground up and snorted another half of one. Okay. I feel as though I maybe breathing louder than normal. Also, I'm not writing one line and then switching over to tumblr as I usually do. Also, my room is really ***** Also, I've drunk two sprites and ate some leftover Chinese food. Also, it's really ******* quiet. It's eery. Also, yesterday in my English class this really nice openly gay kid named Connor walked across the class and as he did so this other kid sitting next to me whispered quite loudly ****** and I did nothing but sit there and angrily stare at my desk. Also, it's been eating me up inside ever since. Also, about an hour ago my mom took my (half) baby sister so see her **** of a) father. She said she'd be home around seven thirty and it's seven twenty eight but she's usually late. Also, I wish she would buy me cigarettes. Also, it's Thursday and I have a D- in Biology. **** Also, I might hangout with my friend Ryley tomorrow. Also, I might become a methamphetamine addict. Also, I spelled that without using spell check.
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28
she became submissive to the burning of her throat , that left her on cloud 9 Inhaling the illegal substance to ease her mind of her imperfections and exhaling her biggest fears of morality She started to lose her morals as time went on The only thing that left her mouth was smoke that clouded her vision Wanting to be accepted by everyone she lost her dignity in the big cup of liquor that she managed to down in one gulp Closing her eyes trying to block out the images of her old life Fighting the urge to not drink anymore one more cup turned into three , three turned into six , Why her? Adding more ruby red lipstick to her now numb lips to make sure her lips shine through the glossy vision of ***** shadows she painted a picture of perfectionist in her mind as she applied ruby red lipstick amongst her lips and added a clear coat of lip gloss to seal the secrets Using massacre to hide every tear drop that left her big brown eyes As if she was going to war with herself Her dignity Her pride Adding Blush Eye shadow Lip stick Massacre to seal the battle wounds Was her daily dosage of forgiveness Trying to forgive herself for allowing her secrets to smudge as she opened up something that was so pure Her heart Looking down at her body she started to feel insecure so she added more blush to her now covered face but she was a makeup artist Adding more blush to hide the hand prints from the other night Massacre to hide the tear drops that she managed to squeeze out when her submissive ways battered like a beaten woman that lived in the projects Eye shadow , that covered the darkness around her eyes because she hasn't slept in days And finally her favorite ... Ruby red lipstick to make her stand out even when the lights were off She wanted everyone to notice her but only covered enough so her imperfect life wouldn't smudge I am a makeup artist ..
0
Jul 1, 2014
Jul 1, 2014 at 3:41 AM UTC
The makeup artist
she became submissive to the burning of her throat , that left her on cloud 9 Inhaling the illegal substance to ease her mind of her imperfections and exhaling her biggest fears of morality She started to lose her morals as time went on The only thing that left her mouth was smoke that clouded her vision Wanting to be accepted by everyone she lost her dignity in the big cup of liquor that she managed to down in one gulp Closing her eyes trying to block out the images of her old life Fighting the urge to not drink anymore one more cup turned into three , three turned into six , Why her? Adding more ruby red lipstick to her now numb lips to make sure her lips shine through the glossy vision of ***** shadows she painted a picture of perfectionist in her mind as she applied ruby red lipstick amongst her lips and added a clear coat of lip gloss to seal the secrets Using massacre to hide every tear drop that left her big brown eyes As if she was going to war with herself Her dignity Her pride Adding Blush Eye shadow Lip stick Massacre to seal the battle wounds Was her daily dosage of forgiveness Trying to forgive herself for allowing her secrets to smudge as she opened up something that was so pure Her heart Looking down at her body she started to feel insecure so she added more blush to her now covered face but she was a makeup artist Adding more blush to hide the hand prints from the other night Massacre to hide the tear drops that she managed to squeeze out when her submissive ways battered like a beaten woman that lived in the projects Eye shadow , that covered the darkness around her eyes because she hasn't slept in days And finally her favorite ... Ruby red lipstick to make her stand out even when the lights were off She wanted everyone to notice her but only covered enough so her imperfect life wouldn't smudge I am a makeup artist ..
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30
He turns the page Of old age For what was once the rage Now sits in his cage It's been a war to wage This, life's final stage The pressure gauge Ticking on so outrage Ticking by in ménage For his book's cleavage Untouched and derange Year's wasted and disengaged If only there was no leakage Or ever such seepage Life on his barren range With no panacea to assuage No wife ever, no cat, no life to engage Nothing but red read rage Now in his final chapter, this cage This cage, death does he part this rampage A life perched without marriage For he married to himself backstage Where his curtain veiled fruitage In lieu of looking at the skies for dosage He fell hostage to his hermitage Yet this, his bottled pilgrimage Sinking now in raging montage He does sit beseeched in his passage And hopes someday to bid bon voyage With direr hopes of  turning a better page Logan Robertson 9/27/2018
0
Sep 27, 2018
Sep 27, 2018 at 5:57 AM UTC
His Book of Life Lacks Words
~Enter~ Everything injected Identity constricted Breaths restricted Fights enlisted Words explicit Pain inflicted ~Exit~ Withdrawing addiction Half of me missing Shaking commencing Cold sweats kick in Heartbeats lessening Death's threatening ~Return~ Suffocation retired Individuality aspired Stimulation inspired Culmination transpired Life long love desired Exact dosage is required ~Anchored~ © Tina Thompson
0
Feb 26, 2012
Feb 26, 2012 at 8:13 PM UTC
Prescription
Back home, There is a boy With red hair, freckles, And eyes the shade of blue His mother calls "lady killers." He's colorblind; At least enough to believe In jellyfish. His father builds houses With a rib-less heart The boy calls home. His mother, Sews trust with her spine. And thirty years later They still find love In the lonely isles of The local Laneco. His teacher says He needs a pen pal, So after school He writes to me: "Hi, how are you." "I'm fine, thanks, and you?" And then he asks me What it's like to be "Grown up" And just how many Stars I've scarred With nothing but the rusty Edge of my name. So I fold the Envelope of this Crinkled heart into a letter Of tattered Bibles From hotel drawers of Lost loves and dead friends And find the courage To tell him what Being a man means. I tell him: We call it growing up Because boulders Always roll down. It's refusing CPR For every time you drown In your own pride. It's loving a girl For every time she tried. Tried to Convince your tunnel vision That her body is not a cave. That respecting a woman Is more important Than how well you pave Your parking lot heart. Shallow like a baking pan. This is an apology. For every man Who ever thought a woman's body Is the only temple worth praying to. Making four leaf clovers From petals of roses Trying to get lucky. I know it's not lovely, To kiss someone who Is so constantly Full of ******** And I'll admit it. I'm not yet Where I need to be But I thank God That I'm no longer Where I use to See I'm used to Smoking way too many *** scenes to know that There is not enough Alcohol in the world To ever clear my mind. And I have caused way Too many Prozac commercials To know that there is No effective dosage For this disorder Of indecency. To know that it is No measure of good health To be well adjusted To a sick society Of mechanical men Always worried about Who and when they're going To plug into. So I tell him: You are not a robot, A computer, or a program. And your choices are the only Thing that will ever make you a man. So strap up your boots, Bury the ashes, Shake the dust, And dandelion your Heart in every Direction of home. But most importantly, Go easy on the ladies; Because The older I get and More I learn about myself The more I'm writing With my eraser Than with anything else.
0
Dec 3, 2015
Dec 3, 2015 at 12:39 PM UTC
Lady killer
Back home, There is a boy With red hair, freckles, And eyes the shade of blue His mother calls "lady killers." He's colorblind; At least enough to believe In jellyfish. His father builds houses With a rib-less heart The boy calls home. His mother, Sews trust with her spine. And thirty years later They still find love In the lonely isles of The local Laneco. His teacher says He needs a pen pal, So after school He writes to me: "Hi, how are you." "I'm fine, thanks, and you?" And then he asks me What it's like to be "Grown up" And just how many Stars I've scarred With nothing but the rusty Edge of my name. So I fold the Envelope of this Crinkled heart into a letter Of tattered Bibles From hotel drawers of Lost loves and dead friends And find the courage To tell him what Being a man means. I tell him: We call it growing up Because boulders Always roll down. It's refusing CPR For every time you drown In your own pride. It's loving a girl For every time she tried. Tried to Convince your tunnel vision That her body is not a cave. That respecting a woman Is more important Than how well you pave Your parking lot heart. Shallow like a baking pan. This is an apology. For every man Who ever thought a woman's body Is the only temple worth praying to. Making four leaf clovers From petals of roses Trying to get lucky. I know it's not lovely, To kiss someone who Is so constantly Full of ******** And I'll admit it. I'm not yet Where I need to be But I thank God That I'm no longer Where I use to See I'm used to Smoking way too many *** scenes to know that There is not enough Alcohol in the world To ever clear my mind. And I have caused way Too many Prozac commercials To know that there is No effective dosage For this disorder Of indecency. To know that it is No measure of good health To be well adjusted To a sick society Of mechanical men Always worried about Who and when they're going To plug into. So I tell him: You are not a robot, A computer, or a program. And your choices are the only Thing that will ever make you a man. So strap up your boots, Bury the ashes, Shake the dust, And dandelion your Heart in every Direction of home. But most importantly, Go easy on the ladies; Because The older I get and More I learn about myself The more I'm writing With my eraser Than with anything else.
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112
We hardly trust anyone No matter how genuine that person may be. We go on pairs throughout our lives because we believe that we are not satisfied as one. We sometimes believe that there is a solution by finding other halves in people, in stimulators, in distractions in roles. We have trouble finding ourselves and prefer to believe that people stronger than us or people who appear stronger than us can help us and make us better. We come from bad places but we are not bad people despite what we believe. But we keep a strong face and solider through blame and shame through self-hatred. We call ourselves names all the times when no one else does so so we get our usual dosage of misery. In the worst cases, we never believe anything or anyone and let our hearts die on the pavement while the sky falls. And the funniest thing of all? It's our fault.
0
Aug 2, 2012
Aug 2, 2012 at 1:56 PM UTC
The Thing With ******** Insecurity
• The devils situate me in the dungeon, In this pitch-dark  place, Chains locked to my hands and feet, I clamor at the top of my lungs, But only my voice echoed, And penetrated deep, deep within my soul, A voice with dejection, Tears gushed out from my eyes, All swollen for hours and hours of crying, My hopes almost diminish, My prayers weaken, This little faith lifted my chin up, But my body is so worn out i can't hold it any longer, Oh God please help me, Please save me from here, Then suddenly, I passed out, After awhile i feel two hands holding my face, I opened my eyes, But the light is too bright, I can't see anything, I close my eyes and listened to the wonderful voice talking marvelously to me, It's a man's voice! I open my eyes again and i see a man, With all white clothes, And a huge wings behind his back, I was dumbfounded, An angel! Exhiliration enfold me, And I started weeping silently, My God answered me! He answered me! He is my angel, I slapped my face with my two hands, I might be dreaming, But no i am not, This is totally true! He stand me up, I stand up with no troubles, I was astounded, No more chains, no more chains !! I am free, i am free! In my happiness i hugged him. One second i was hugging an angel, Another second I am hugging a man. Oh, Wow! That man is him, The man who did all for me, The man who saved me from my darkest place, He took me out of that ghastly place, And now I am in paradise with him, He makes me happy all the time, All the time, He is always there for me, Whether I am happy, sad or depress, He is always there, He inspires me, He is my angel, He help me overcome my demons, He is my light here on earth, His radiance shines brightly on me, And I am beyond happy, He comforts me, He is my refuge, I always have this hope to wake up each day 'cause I know, I know i am gonna see him, He is my happiness, My best friend, The one I can always lean on to, The one I can always trust, His smiles are my daily dosage, His laughs, his jokes are my daily medication. His love is my supplication, He is my all, my all, I learn to extend my patience, I learn how to be selfless, He showed me a geniune love, A love so  recherché, He guides me to the right tract, And hold my hand so tight and walk with me, He protects me from bad, He is my other half, My preordained one, My strong king, What's the best thing in him is, He pulls me closer to God, I can't thank him enough for all he do, He is so amazing to me, How can i even deserve this? God had been so good to me, I am way so blessed, I am so blessed, I am gonna show him my love daily, I am gonna be by his side always, I am here waiting for him alone, I am here to love him always, I won't leave thee, For you are preordained for me, My love, my soulmate, Ohhh goodness Lord, I praise you oh Lord for all you do, I thank you for all you have done for me, I am so blessed Lord, I am so blessed! with love <3 © Earl Jane ♥ E.J.C.S.
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Feb 9, 2016
Feb 9, 2016 at 8:46 AM UTC
I am so Blessed!!! (Happy 6 months my king!!! i love you ssssssoooooo much!!!
• The devils situate me in the dungeon, In this pitch-dark  place, Chains locked to my hands and feet, I clamor at the top of my lungs, But only my voice echoed, And penetrated deep, deep within my soul, A voice with dejection, Tears gushed out from my eyes, All swollen for hours and hours of crying, My hopes almost diminish, My prayers weaken, This little faith lifted my chin up, But my body is so worn out i can't hold it any longer, Oh God please help me, Please save me from here, Then suddenly, I passed out, After awhile i feel two hands holding my face, I opened my eyes, But the light is too bright, I can't see anything, I close my eyes and listened to the wonderful voice talking marvelously to me, It's a man's voice! I open my eyes again and i see a man, With all white clothes, And a huge wings behind his back, I was dumbfounded, An angel! Exhiliration enfold me, And I started weeping silently, My God answered me! He answered me! He is my angel, I slapped my face with my two hands, I might be dreaming, But no i am not, This is totally true! He stand me up, I stand up with no troubles, I was astounded, No more chains, no more chains !! I am free, i am free! In my happiness i hugged him. One second i was hugging an angel, Another second I am hugging a man. Oh, Wow! That man is him, The man who did all for me, The man who saved me from my darkest place, He took me out of that ghastly place, And now I am in paradise with him, He makes me happy all the time, All the time, He is always there for me, Whether I am happy, sad or depress, He is always there, He inspires me, He is my angel, He help me overcome my demons, He is my light here on earth, His radiance shines brightly on me, And I am beyond happy, He comforts me, He is my refuge, I always have this hope to wake up each day 'cause I know, I know i am gonna see him, He is my happiness, My best friend, The one I can always lean on to, The one I can always trust, His smiles are my daily dosage, His laughs, his jokes are my daily medication. His love is my supplication, He is my all, my all, I learn to extend my patience, I learn how to be selfless, He showed me a geniune love, A love so  recherché, He guides me to the right tract, And hold my hand so tight and walk with me, He protects me from bad, He is my other half, My preordained one, My strong king, What's the best thing in him is, He pulls me closer to God, I can't thank him enough for all he do, He is so amazing to me, How can i even deserve this? God had been so good to me, I am way so blessed, I am so blessed, I am gonna show him my love daily, I am gonna be by his side always, I am here waiting for him alone, I am here to love him always, I won't leave thee, For you are preordained for me, My love, my soulmate, Ohhh goodness Lord, I praise you oh Lord for all you do, I thank you for all you have done for me, I am so blessed Lord, I am so blessed! with love <3 © Earl Jane ♥ E.J.C.S.
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106
why is there a line between living wholly and holding on to scraps of grieving our futures why am i grieving a life i haven't lived yet? or why aren't i filling it with the kindness of years well lived? when you realize your own mortality, does it bite you as hard as it bites me? you won't talk about it though. none of us will. it's a cycle of awareness i've barely spoken to you because you are being reminded day in, day out that breathing is optional to your body i am sickeningly aware that my dosage is wrong and my blood is pounding in my kidneys and behind my eyes you're having a series of bad days i wonder if your body screams like mine or if the pain ties you in knots but i know you don't talk about it. none of us do. we pretend we're not sick and that the ringing in our ears or the bubbling behind our teeth doesn't mean anything "it's fine, i'm used to it" it's not fine. it is the ultimate self-denial, the breakdown of our bodies things we choose to forget when you chose me, you chose somebody who knows pain somebody who is also afraid and would sometimes rather give up but you now know someone else who is grieving. are you grieving? i heard that grief is just love with no place to go and life is one of the greatest loves through life i can love no matter how my body wants to take it from me.
0
Dec 28, 2018
Dec 28, 2018 at 1:51 AM UTC
chronic knowing (it's not cute)
Let me go in the Dark I want to be in there In the space of corpulent, infectious glands Swallowing innocence with labyrinthine hands Let me be one with the Night My home is over there In a place of ubiquitous fears And a plethora of basking tears Let me soak in the abyss The void is so near A comely figure, an evocative sadist and protégé Dripping candle wax on me in San Lorenzo, Paraguay Let me walk among ghosts In the Portal Del So hotel Tossing back Xanax; Vicodin with a liquor chaser Gin and vermouth, ***** anything to forget her. Let me wait in living purgatory With other pods of skin When the wind shakes the barley, back home Where a wife and son never left me alone. Let me go in the dark Past the tortured guilt and sorrow Where a family is made of flesh and not ash Where a house remains and the fires don’t last Let me cry and weep in silence In a room with rotting drapes A static-channel TV, a two blade ceiling fan People engulfed in one another, A demon  for a man Let me shower in cold, thickening blood Standing atop broken medicine cabinet glass So many packs a day of cheap cigarettes and loose women None ease the pain like the morphine in the kitchen. Let me go into the chasm The vein snake is thirsty. I take a little more each time it feeds But maybe not waking up is what the snake needs Let me sleep in the dark While infomercials for prayer play Juxtaposed to a zealous vagabond and father The last serpentine dosage for a broken martyr   Let me go in the dark Let me see them again I’ll wait and watch the room shrink And hope my eyes never dilatorily blink.
0
May 4, 2013
May 4, 2013 at 4:29 PM UTC
Let me go in the Dark
Let me go in the Dark I want to be in there In the space of corpulent, infectious glands Swallowing innocence with labyrinthine hands Let me be one with the Night My home is over there In a place of ubiquitous fears And a plethora of basking tears Let me soak in the abyss The void is so near A comely figure, an evocative sadist and protégé Dripping candle wax on me in San Lorenzo, Paraguay Let me walk among ghosts In the Portal Del So hotel Tossing back Xanax; Vicodin with a liquor chaser Gin and vermouth, ***** anything to forget her. Let me wait in living purgatory With other pods of skin When the wind shakes the barley, back home Where a wife and son never left me alone. Let me go in the dark Past the tortured guilt and sorrow Where a family is made of flesh and not ash Where a house remains and the fires don’t last Let me cry and weep in silence In a room with rotting drapes A static-channel TV, a two blade ceiling fan People engulfed in one another, A demon  for a man Let me shower in cold, thickening blood Standing atop broken medicine cabinet glass So many packs a day of cheap cigarettes and loose women None ease the pain like the morphine in the kitchen. Let me go into the chasm The vein snake is thirsty. I take a little more each time it feeds But maybe not waking up is what the snake needs Let me sleep in the dark While infomercials for prayer play Juxtaposed to a zealous vagabond and father The last serpentine dosage for a broken martyr   Let me go in the dark Let me see them again I’ll wait and watch the room shrink And hope my eyes never dilatorily blink.
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60
Stubborn in stature & determined by untamed will, she is unable to stop herself. Like that tornado that blew through Kansas, yes that tornado, it swept Dorothy away to a world nobody and everybody knows of. Maybe there she can find a prescription to fix her. Find her a brain, courage? Maybe even take her home... Without control she rebels instinctively out of pure spite. Her words are uttered in a childish fashion as if there were a need for defense. Health escapes her thoughts, she feels there is no need for care. No need to pay attention to her body, no need for a responsible mind....she'll let the pills take care of that.....or maybe therapy. But that can spin out of control too. Just fill the bottles up like clockwork. If she doesn't smile, perhaps it was the dosage. There is no need to dwell on the questions in her mind, they come and go so quickly. "How could they not take me seriously?" "Why don't they listen to me?" Tears flow as she falls apart then laughs at the funny parts, because so much of it is......funny. But wait!!!! The madness has only just begun! Anger is the horror of it all, adrenaline and a blackness like a veil covers what is true, she appears possessed in a horrid-dark-angry cloud of violence. Hide the knives!!!! Do not give her access to the pills... this is her torment. And alas the depression reigns. No showers today or maybe all week. She does not want to do anything but sleep. Until the dosage is doubled and finally she feels alive once again.
0
Nov 26, 2013
Nov 26, 2013 at 1:48 AM UTC
Bipolar
Stubborn in stature & determined by untamed will, she is unable to stop herself. Like that tornado that blew through Kansas, yes that tornado, it swept Dorothy away to a world nobody and everybody knows of. Maybe there she can find a prescription to fix her. Find her a brain, courage? Maybe even take her home... Without control she rebels instinctively out of pure spite. Her words are uttered in a childish fashion as if there were a need for defense. Health escapes her thoughts, she feels there is no need for care. No need to pay attention to her body, no need for a responsible mind....she'll let the pills take care of that.....or maybe therapy. But that can spin out of control too. Just fill the bottles up like clockwork. If she doesn't smile, perhaps it was the dosage. There is no need to dwell on the questions in her mind, they come and go so quickly. "How could they not take me seriously?" "Why don't they listen to me?" Tears flow as she falls apart then laughs at the funny parts, because so much of it is......funny. But wait!!!! The madness has only just begun! Anger is the horror of it all, adrenaline and a blackness like a veil covers what is true, she appears possessed in a horrid-dark-angry cloud of violence. Hide the knives!!!! Do not give her access to the pills... this is her torment. And alas the depression reigns. No showers today or maybe all week. She does not want to do anything but sleep. Until the dosage is doubled and finally she feels alive once again.
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7