To death in love!
The eye of ones heart closes for their beloved, their most precious treasure of them all clouded by emotions stored for them deep within
Unanswered love leads to a stinging mind of the subscocious, caught and rose by a burning ember of feelings, turning into an inferno,
Blinded by it, they will not acknowledge the falsities of their partner, nor their mistakes or even their treaciousness, as for them he is perfect, conciously imaged as the ideal and the best they ever had,
But no! God forbids, they learn about the art of blinding love while they sink to the bottom of a sea of passion and affection, in a last remote of a courtain call to simple yet manifest carelessness,
Small lies lead to grand falsities overlooked by a noncaring closed eye
Rekindled in a dream they rather follow their instincs than the truth,
Illusions cast by embers of love deep within the unconcious, like a courtain to be blocked from all light, holding on to dear of what is loved and cherished, praised and adored, an emotion leading stray,
The philosophy of a hated person, would be to never close the open eye of ones heart, so you fall not too hard when you begin to love,
But when all falls apart, realisation is like the thorns of countless roses
It is the heart sign of selfless love.

~ Umi

Once upon a time,
there was a prince,
the prince of all the VASHs,
aka Vampire Angel Super Humans.
He lived amongst them,
cherished by all his subjects.

He had everything but what he needed,
he had the good looks,
the "L" skills,
the girls,
the money.

What he longed for was
his parents to help guide him through the wonders of the world,
a girl to treasure and be by his side.

But his parents were gone,
and no girl had a heart as golden as his.

One day, as he trekked through the swamplands with his trusty horse,
he came across a peculiar little girl.
She wasn't much to look,
dark hair, large brown eyes, button nose.
He walked up to her and asked,
"Hello, miss. Might I ask what you are doing here on this splendid day?"
"SHHH!!!"
He stared at this bizarre, short thing and listened.
All he heard were the wings of the dragonflies,
the fluttering, haggard breaths from the girl,
the chirping of the cicadas.

She collapsed.

"Milady!" he caught her in a french dip, right before she fell into the mud.
He carried her over to his mighty stead and carried her home to his castle. There, he brought her to the infirmary and stayed there as the doctors tended to her. Luckily, she had just fainted. What a peculiar thing.

She gasped, and sat upright, looking around.
"Where am I?" she whispered, and turned to the prince, wide eyed.
She fainted again. The prince shook her, calling desperately, "Milady! Milady!" and finally she woke up.

She shook her head and ran out the door.
He caught up with her down the hallway, she wasn't a very good runner.
He cornered her, and leaned in to ask her, unintentionally very sexily,
"Are you okay...? Why did you faint?"

She just looked away, terrified, her eyes round, her face painted red with blush.
"I... I... saw you and was... astounded that you, the prince, was talking to me, and that you were so... dashing..." she stuttered under her breath, and looked up, straight into his cerulean eyes.
He blushed, a bloom of crimson sprinting across his face.
She looked away.

They remained in that awkward position of him with his arms cornering her to the wall, she trying to meld into the wall, for a couple more moments, until the young flabbergasted prince realized what he was doing and let go.
She scurried away and the prince shook his head.

What was he thinking, getting mesmerized by her?
He didn't even know her.
But yet...his heart pounded.
Or rather what was supposed to be his heart.

He walked to his bedroom, locked the door,
and went to sleep dreaming of Ms. Peculiar.

The next day he awoke,
showered,
the girl still running through his mind,
and went to breakfast.
As he sat down,
a servant asked him,
"What would you like to drink this lovely morning, your majesty?"
He looked up, startled, to see the girl he was thinking about all night standing before him, in the traditional ****** maid outfit, blushing, hiding behind her hair, looking at her shoes.
"I would like some orange juice, and some of you please." he replied, realized what he said, abruptly stood up, and walked out of the dining hall.
She stood there, in shock and turned slowly back to the kitchen.

The next meal,
he walked into the dining hall again as if nothing happened.
"What would you like to have to drink for lunch today, your majesty?"
The girl. She was still here.
"Water. Just water. And, I would like to talk to you after lunch, if you would mind."
She was startled, but she nodded and walked away.

After lunch, he fetched her and brought her outside the dining hall.
"Miss, what is your name?"
"Alice, your majesty."
"Alice, would you like to accompany on my adventures? And please, do just call me Cole."
"As you wish, your majesty."
"But do you wish to accompany me? Please, it's Cole."
"I do. Thank you, Co... Cole." she bows deeply, waiting to be dismissed.
"Do you like nature?" She looks up, startled.
"I do, very much."
"I remember you staring at the cattails yesterday. I hope you do forgive me for startling you yesterday."
"No problem, Cole. I shall see you tomorrow?"
"Certainly, I will find you." She scurries away, and unknowingly to him, her heart is pounding, and as she rounds the corners, she presses against the wall, trying to stop blushing, to stop smiling and the drumming in her chest. She peeks around the corner to see him looking longingly back in her direction. They make eye contact, and she quickly hides. He blushes and walks briskly away before he can do something else to embarrass himself even further.

The next day, he jumps out of bed,
Refreshed and awaken by the thought of
Her.
He eagerly gulps up a quick, hearty breakfast and finds Alice with a call of a servant.

"Shall we leave mademoiselle?" He bows and kisses her hand. She blushes, nods quickly, and they walk side by side out of the castle and into the woods, both on horse. She trots slowly behind him, taking in the scenery as he takes in her, her practical clothing,  tough leather boots, tied hair.
"What are you looking at?" She self conciously looks down at her frayed old clothing.
"I'm just looking at the beauty in front of me."
She looks up, startled. He looks ahead and continues down. For the rest of the day, the two talk, about aimless things at first, but soon began to open up to each other.

She longed for him, but he was a prince, it was forbidden.
He longed for her, but she was a maid, it was forbidden.

By the end of the day, both knew each other very well, like old friends, but both yearned to learn even more. Both were shy.
Days like this continued for months on end,
They never ran out of things to talk about, things were so easy between them.

Then one day,
The prince made a picnic.
It was basic, just ordinary peasant food,
Layed out on a blanket
In the magical meadow they discovered not too long ago.

They sat down to eat,
Them afterwards,
Layed on their backs in the grass,
Watching the clouds pass overhead.
When they got up,
There were little shards of grass in her hair
And he laughed.
She looked around,
"What's so funny?"
"Nothing, you just look really cute with all that grass in your hair. Here, let me help you out with that..." he brushed the grass out of hair and tucked her soft hair behind her ear. He slowly brought his hand from her ear to her chin, followning her jawline, gently, delicately cupping her chin, bringing her face closer to his, brushing his lips on hers, ever so faintly.
He opened his eyes, looked at her.
She stared back at him, smiled a little bit,
Surprised them both by leaning in to kiss him full on,
just a bit more passionately,
and he felt the playful smile he had come to love play across her lips.
They melted into each other,
And for a couple more hours,
They lay side by side, hands entwined,
Looking at stars, quietly taking in each others love.
It was a nice kind of quiet.

When it was time to leave, they kissed sweetly goodnight
Both wanting to be with each other,
Both waiting for time to pass so they could be together again.

And time did pass.
Maybe not quick enough,
But it passed.

At court, everyone argued,
Saying a prince should never be with a maid!
But his mind was made and there was nothing anyone could do to change it.
He didn't try to change her,
Nor did she try to change him.
After a month of trying in vain,
Everyone gave up, and let the two lovers be in peace.

After a year of
Loving each other,
Always being there,
Cole took her to the same meadow again,
The very meadow they kissed for the first time in.
The same day,
The same picnic.
But this time,
Once they got up,
He brushed away all the grass from her hair,
And got down on one knee.

"Alice. We have spent the last year together, and I actually lived for once. I have never felt so alive until now, nor have I ever felt so much in love with a girl as I have with you. From the moment I saw you in the swamp, I knew you were something special. I loved you then, and I love you more still today. I don't think I'd ever be happy without you in my life... so I want you to make me the happiest man alive, and be here with me on all the journey life brings, I want you to be with me always, so I can always protect you and cherish you. I love you. Will... will you marry me?"
Before he was even able to withdraw a ring, she kissed him fiercely.
"Of course I will, you dummy!"

And they lived happily ever after.
The end.

Consciously spinning
through my spaces
Looping in and out of you
where is logic?
Where is reason?
Inside this vault where
Secrets of you lie,
I find my reason for being
And my hope for death.
Two orbiting bodies Are we
eclipsed by the moon and sun,
never free but always on the run.
Set on a collision course of fate
Only we missed it by that much!

everyone speaks of going to heaven
"may his soul rest in peace"
acting as if they don't realize
he chose this for himself
conciously decided to take his life
he did not grow wings and fly away
his coffin is not empty
it has a body
and that body has rope marks
around the neck
his hands are cold
his eyes are shut
his organs are slowly rotting away
it is not beautiful
he is not an angel
he is the dead remains
of what once was
and all those saying
"he is in a better place"
have absolutely no proof of their statement
and neither did he,
all he knew was
that no matter what awaited him in the afterlife,
it could be no worse than the life he was living right now
it was not an accident
he did not fall,
he jumped
he chose to die
he chose to die this way
because the pain of death
& the pain of the dead
was nothing in comparison to the pain of life & the living
because it was easier
to hang himself from the hook on the ceiling
than to wake up the next morning
and look at himself in the mirror
he could not run from life
unless he was running towards death
so he chose
to win the race
first place
*once and for all

"I'm being selfish anyway"

"So am I"

"I conciously know it, but will keep asking.
Will you change your mind?"

"My mind  keeps changing"

...

A moment is all it takes for you to
Walk away from it
Looking away, you wander
towards the busy street
Knowingly getting closer
Dismally walking with smile

Blissfully leaving behind that unkown
That burden of duty
That somhow kept it all from turning to ****
Holding it up and all togeather
As the bricks fell on your head
Knowing others walk by
Only from the sound of them spitting
behind your back

You could just walk away
And wander into rest
Half way there for oh so long
The deserts waiting to swallow you in sand
And besides, it could all fall apart anyways.

You want to leave
So you can dry out, and recover
Scorch your skin as you lounge
Lips pealing, eyes rolled back in bliss
On a decreped pool chair
Sunglasses so no one can see

Although eyes are only one of the dead give aways
Of a consciously dead human
Silently inviting others to join in
"I love that person, they're so care free"
Unburdened

only one who walks on shifting sands
And lets them ***** the fire of ones soul knows
what they see when they look inside.

Dust and bone
Insects and parasites wraped up like
cold, injured loved ones
Coddled and well fed on your dwindling substance,
Your time and attention
Your non renewable resources

They become you
Now a part, a collective
Then the desert throws you onto
An open scorched tarmac
No vehicles, no lines, just black, hot and sticky
Full of people pretending they're not thirsty
The myth of water
rattling their dry twine vocal chords
with laughter and belitlment
All crooked looks and beady eyes

They drag their boney blistered feet
Smiles painted on thier suffering faces
By some rogue hand connected only
To a voice they all hear
"keep walking"
"you can't die if your already dead"

Hotter and hotter as the miles drag
Slower and slower nobody collapses
Their skin now gloves for a hand to wear
Alive only inside
some want to turn back
Some want to stop and think
Some want to die
But the hand keeps them moving

You come, bones and skin
Rotten and stinking, finnaly
Alone,
To some shift
The hand leaves you
The sun is blocked by swirling clouds

You walk up to a mirage on the plain
not comprehending
The fog clouds all but this,
odd bouncing of light
You see a slumped figure tattered in rags
Grey and drooping
And you feel him
Staring back hollow
You stand vapidly gapeing
as a rain drop hits you
Looking at where the road stops to meet a..

The fog seeps back conciously
A very clear line on the ground
Where the tarmac stops
and this smooth plain stands
A surface the color of the receding fog
"Lift your gaze'
It says one more time
Strings cut and hand withdrawn you abide
You place your hand on the cool smooth surface
It starts to rain, washing your meak body

Your mind sharp and keen
for the first time since..
You look up
And you see a person
Holding up some structure
He Cannot look up or his strength will fail him
But he must hold this up
Should his attention turn elsewhere
Whatever it is will surely fall
He cant explain this need
This light, this warmth,
somhow sustained by the strain of his muscles and the exercise of his will
Against odds and favor
He is blind because he is focused
He is dumb because he believes
He is weak because he uses his strength only where needed

He cannot see what he is straining to uphold
But now the reflection peers back with such broad scope.
It is a Beacon blazing out
The warmth is here and the water runs ever on
It falls from the sky onto fertile ground
Those who have not rolled Thier eyes,
those with fire and warmth still inside,
Come, and make a world of it.
Come and be awake

It is a mirror
That is you
And that is what you have left
To walk in company
To be empty and smiling
To not care
Now you must suffer
In the knowledge of your new vantage

Your hand is in the mirror
The coldest cold you've ever felt
is pulling you in
All you can do is look into the reflection
or choose to step in
But one way or another, in you shall go
Into the motionless space
Where the rest you left to find waits.

She was intricately
deliberate
with textures
& attitudes
& colours
combined

Conciously
random
when bathing benignly
in media
materials
& moments

Strong
yet so vulnerable
in just the right
measure
ethereal
but grounded

Beautiful
blue wide eyes
opening
to order
& closing
to sleep

Must we wait for stars when our love seems enough to light the way
can't we be moons for the nights, shall we keep waiting for the day?
are we going to enjoy the beams from our eyes
or just remain poles apart longing for the moment beaming sun will rise?
must we always wait for sleep  just so we finally dream
can't we conciously dare to dream about letting our passion scream?
shall we wait for Oceans to dry,can't we build bridges
will the door of our affinity last that long on these rusty hinges?
are we enough for each other or are we going to hunger and thirst
won't we question us all the time or will we completely count on our trust?
Won't we crumble and stumble in the dark caves and stormy waves
will we stick together even when karma turns us to slaves?
must we wait for the saddened birds to sing their songs
can't our hearts sing in appreciation of finding where they belong?
won't we keep dreaming of finding a better place to live in
if we can't make a better place of the historical cities within?
will we forgive each other when we make mistakes
won't our humanity and faults determine the long this takes?
why wait for the joys to write poetry and stories of romance
can't we pen every dance, delightful or sad by any chance
Can't we do everything it takes to be closer than this
shall wishes be our embrace and virtually flying forever our kiss?
will we be able to endure the long while we only have us at Heart
until it's no longer like that, until we cease to be oceans apart?
can we always press restart when we pause and when we hurt
won't we fail to pick up, and at the first fall this love might depart?
must we wait till we have enough cash to own mansions and yacht
can't we find content in the little,in starting together from scratch?
will we hike up the hill together, toil and sweat for the fruits
shall another remain down the foot and look on as one perspires?
will we extinguish our flames or just embrace the burning desires
shall we seal the cracks,won't we look on whilst
they tear further into canyons and consequently mute the lutes?
must we wait for the mango of our attraction to ripen
shouldn't we peel the bitter Exocarp and with salt eat the endocarp raw?
can't we make the best of the opportunities that are open
instead of looking on at the flowers of us waiting for them to grow?
must we wait to follow in the footprints of tales of true love
can't we just pave a way to a new plot ,one we deserve?
must we painfully wait for the engagement ring to decide
shouldn't we be jumping onto the motorboat of life and enjoying the ride?

Anamika
My dream
Whatever in night or in day
She's with me
May be conciously
May be unconciously
But,she's my shadow
Wherever I go
She follows me
May be it's my fantasy
But,I can't deny
Except her I'm nothing
Whatever I'm
Is only for her love
Love you lot
Miss you too
Take Care
Be Happy
Keep Smiling-Written on 31.10.2012

Even if it only glitters in the sky approaching the city,
as your vision blurs and smog suffocates your lungs.
We all return to gaze into the faded stained crossing,
to remember when two fading breaths drifted apart,
eyes glistening in the hourglass of two twisted hearts.

I pretend these eyes see brief clarity beneath,
this path of split ends of unkempt dreads.
Not much to send but I'm tempted to lend,
a broken sentence with no pretense.

Kept fighting rewriting reread recollections,
staring at dead stars lighting my reflection.
Seeing what is and what could be there.
What is and what could be tangibly unaware.
Like what was and what wasn't we are both here and there.
Forgetten remains conciously aware.

So now I sit smoking a ciggarette,
Fighting to write something of sense.
Staring into pixels of kaleidescope pills.
A constant reminder of concocting thrills.
Beginning to burn out and all I wrote:
What fades away turned to smoke.

What if i told you your demons are a result of constant programming you to want more than you need, more than you deserve?

What if i told you its completely reversable?

That you take over your subconcious conciously. Mindfully and manually work at the art of appreciation. Tell your self what you constantly dont need.

Dont fall for the time trap. It was invented by the rat race to turn us all into rats  Pavlov's dogs on steroids. Silence the bell and make a concious choice using your God-given free will.

Smile at the sun, wink at the moon,warmly blow a kiss to the stars and never look back at the passive way you let those demons control your life.

Pain free, drug free, because you choose to give it no consent. No dominion.

You, one of the great contributions of this incredible world; who was stopped from manifesting all your pitential because you were too busy trying to find a name and a source for your apathy and frustration.  Because thats the way a fool is used as tool of destruction.

YOU have THE  POWER to CHANGE EVERYTHING. Its in YOUR HANDS. Call in the beauty and grace of the universe as I AM
It is assured.

What if you BELIEVED me?

I tried to dip my feet in the murky water
of the lake I conciously kept passing by
I had not been there in so long;
scared of unfamiliar territories
and bringing back memories
I had tucked neatly away to be forgotten
I thought I would never get the chance
to dip my feet in again
but life can take us on so many paths;
time moving so very fast,
almost passing us by
The water was so cold,
like unfamiliar territory
that somehow I thought
I could visit again
I swirled the sand with my feet
beneath the ice cold water
and cut my toe on a shell
Just as well, I thought
Perhaps I'll try again tomorrow

~ ©️ Priya 4/21/23 🕉

how do you disemble a wall you never conciously created.
how do you let someone into the deepest parts of you when you dont even like to go there for long.
when you cant get there.
lost under the shadows of the ever growing walls.
knowing any attampt to climb would be to accecpt death.
yet to be overwhelmed under them
is to be forever lost
Therfore never truly even living.

Life
These days
She combines for
Me, more in number
Than ever I reason may
Be. Of melancholy she sends
A sincere gift. While I deal with
The endless drought.Emanating from
beautiful challenges, a proof of my existence.



Joys
They brush
In a while, later
Their crannies are void.
Choked with vacuum. I bask in
The uniqueness of my tomorrow. Then
Hope hugs me. She embarrasses  me with endless suspense. Whispering like never  
Before. Seducing me like an icy-cold ice-cream.





Nearly
Melting away
In the sun's
Merciless  heat. Praying to
Be savoured on the tongue.
My tongue, precisely. Sooner
Than I may conciously realize. Like
A mirage they all voyage into extinction.





I gasp
In astonishment
As sluggishly I clad
Myself with hope when all
Seen may be supposedly washed away.

I self-conciously fussed with my hair
hoping you wouldn't notice the state of it
and you just took my hand, readjusting the ring on my finger
I hadn't even realized that it was crooked
and I want to tell you that you look beautiful
but I know it would be unfair
and the city looks different when I forget you're in it
like the lights in the distance shine only for me, not us
I think I could drive on this road forever
gas light on, but I've never heeded a warning,
at least not one so glaring
an empty tank has never discouraged me
and I'll take my eyes off the road,
fix my hair in the rearview mirror,
still so worried about how you'll think of me,
still pretending I've never known fear

Science
Conscience
Sentience
Conciously
Psyched
Scions
Sensuous
Sensing
Sensationalized
Emotions' emoji
Sighing
Feelings
Love / nascent.
No science
Simon saying
Wake up
Senses
Conscious
Conscience
Sentiment
Loving Life
All (human) feeling
Alive here
Here!
Science is silent.

Connections.