We are not on a schedule
But we are working
Ivory skills of mastery hard
We can not afford to lose
The Elephants hearts diary
The Zen of topiary
      Details
  The good luck

The hard worker making
True buck the husk of fruit seed
The Peking God of duck
Superman of gifts of steel
The movie superstitious eyes
Everyday good earth cries
Elephant Trunk
Bring on the Holiday
The tuxedo the Elephant Tusk
Godly task the top rank

Anomalous

Questioning the situation not
so delicious
Sensual so moving vivacious
The comedy of errors
Ridiculous to the sublime

The compromising position
Waiting for the next
      "Crime"
Mens of romance
Holiday the gracious gray
Taking risks

*Gallivanting never separating love
Of the tusk, life holds too many risks

Smiles and baking
more loving
The harder you mix
    Wonderful Ivory
   An elephant is a true
   ingredient
Holding the whisk over creamed
Looking high up the
white feathers
Like a beauty, I have never seen

She loves to pick his holiday
Elephants circles the tie he's
her dream
There is no truth when its a holiday
when people
Laugh between there lies

Start running toward
Elephant Tusk
Moms homemade apple caramel
pecan pies
Conflicts subjects
to paint talk to the "Elephants"
With the dreamy ivory tusk

The fragrance of Ireland
Spicy Greens musk
King hand card player tough skin
*Holiday Queen got numbered in
The men million stars of
musk saved the day it flew in

You make me feel brand new
I never made a mistake
Never one that I couldn't explain
Running towards or afterward
Those love words
Before the Gods
The veal chops
Emperor of emails
The Cops and robbers

So modest and shy with demure 
 Holiday spirit world of hands galore
What allure dreamy contentment
She got holiday advancement

The contrast between
Holiday family love the honesty
but our government magical
mystery all bribery
Go for the tour just pour
your words
Quite a mystery white baking
flour messy
Moon and the Star handkerchief style
dressy

The Astronomy we need
to build a better
Here and the now
Wondering how?

Deep brown hazelnut
coffee royal bow
Seeing through the
Gray starting to pray
The parade of the Elephant
The day we can trust
This isn't a Fay Ray
not my kind
of town
The holiday comes and goes
too quick
There you are Rick and
his cousins
It felt like a holiday of
*Tombstones
The gathering with the finest
rhinestones
More sound of silence
Please no I phones
Shut them off enjoy the
Elephants tusk and
their home turf
Not the bluest sea
Make it the lovely
    (Earl Gray)
Bringing surf and turf
More conflicts those predictions
More spiritual afflictions

Just find your peace within
His Elephant pants win
You got the whole tusk
in your hand
"Snow White Huntsman"
Affection like a
housewarming
My holiday transformation

Neon Lion light of crystal ball
The spiritual Tree elephant
Touched a part of me the art
All the fine elements bring
us closer, not the copy
of an imposter

Something to smile about
The myriad
The full length of the camera
The Elephants has a heart
no drama
Flying so Ivory gown sheer
Moms roast will not
come next year
Red devil computer
Telling me there are
Ghostbusters and
travel gliders
I am the true
Elephant lover
More homestayers
music players

Men looking astronomically
Feeling silly
in their whiskers
The world is horrifying
But there is no denying
more praying
Her heart is very thick
Elephant skin close to her
heart is luck
What is happening
to our economy
The sad thing people are selling
Elephant's
Tusk for money we need
to stop this

Lucky Elephant tusk is
turning to good luck
We pray for the world
Holy bless

untitled (vs. imperialism + its idyllic head, which is only idolic, cult of personality)


The tug of war between our better, worser angels, voices in our heads that aren't,
an aspect of sociological schizophrenia that Westerners were all programmed with
from birth on, tears at us as it was meant to, for the divided fall to ebony, ivory,
the black and white supremacies, conquering in perfect harmony, neigh, perfect war,
which can only beget more, thus the global unending unnecessary war against all life
only increases, as the irrelevant pieces are discarded ever more, for more, now, 13000
kids a day die of lack of potable water, hunger, while the 130 running for manager-
in-chief of the world's retail store, the united **** of assassins, won't mention it
once, what the real left always fought to end.  Like genocide, remember when it was
commonly understood if you knew about it and weren't fighting it you were a genocider?
Just last year Coates on the Hayes show said, "...if you think whites shouldn't be
genocided you're a racist...", a song of economic sukkkcess by ebony over ivory for
them and the republican conspiracy, for, the only other things, besides neutering of
newborns, assassinating infants in cribs, anatomical destruction and mass-****** of
kids, teens, that they have enforcing their 35 % ruling the 65 % are all the inter-
locking, laced economic systems based on scarcity instead of nature's abundance,
ever increasing the supposed garnering of ever more short-term delusional pleasures,
profits and powers, in ever more cyclical, centralizing patterns that dictate
astronomically larger real deficits over the long-term, in a word, Earth-******,
the central organizing theme of global defacto-slavery of all by the non-renewable fuel
industrial complexes, the real left vexes with our unifying song of liberation from
and abolishing of fossil fuel use, keeping it all in the ground, which is where they
pound the real (non-socialist) greens.  Why don't our hands demand "...We(e),..." climb,
our streching demand we reach only more over time, our lungs only more wind under an
only greater wingspan over time, instead of the opposite?  "...We(e),..." need to
turn 360 degrees around, back to the evolution and the future humanity will only
have if you, illimitable potential, indivisible as life, leave no footprints that
follow none, which will echo forever on, in all ways, always.  Viva la Evolucion.

Lately,
When I’ve tried
Opening the gates
The locks to my kingdom
It’s simply impossible to accomplish.
I’m terrified,
Terrified,
Of being ‘open.’
What does ‘open’ really even mean?

Am I supposed to investigate
Every dazzling petunia?
Conduct a survey among my local hydrangeas?
Or maybe I should consider taking a hibiscus
As my teacher
In order to learn the art of blooming.
Flowers mastered
The art of opening up to the world,
Without the fear that those around it
Will shine more astronomically
More brilliantly
Than they.

Yes, I wish I was a flower,

I wish I did not care.
I need to learn
How not to care
Like a flower.

Flowers may be ‘weak’
But they’re still stronger
Than me.
My skin is too soft-
My shell might crack
And it will break open
And you will see
That there’s nothing left inside me
And I will carve myself open
To prove it to you.

If I open up
Like a flower,
I’m sure to sustain an injury
Or a lot.
Trust is a butterfly
Easy to crush
Impossible to take
And wow
When you have it
It’s an amazing thing.
But when it’s gone,
Oh it’s an
Ugly
Mangled
Dead thing.

When did this trust
Fall out of my chest?
Did it shatter when it fell?
Because it’s sure broken
Into a million pieces
And it is mangled and ugly.
I am so broken
So fully broken
Hugs are poison
And your touch
Could burn the heart
Out of me.

I’m just anxious
I’m always nervous
My veins itch and
When your eyes dance on my form
I become physically ill
And when you put a hand on my shoulder
I’ll jump like a suicidal bird in flight.
These nerves are eating away
I’m being dissolved by their horrid bleach
And my organs are already mush.

Dotun yawned noisily as he stretched. He walked sleepily to the bathroom, relieved himself and made some funny face to the mirror. He looked himself over, raised an eyebrow, checked the transformation in the mirror then tried the other eyebrow. He kept doing this till his phone rang and he went into the room to pick it.
"Guy, what's up? I'm fine. ...". He went mute for a while, listening to Fred talk and give him certain information on the other line. He paced the entire length of his room till the call ended. One hour later he was ready to leave the house, all fresh and clean. He drove out in his Range Rover and headed to work. He was often referred to as a chauvinistic, cocky man. The initials in his name Dotun P. Ajala had been turned from Phillip to Player. He had a history with women and was proud.  He was simply incontinent when it came to the opposite *** and the fact that they flock around him made matters worse. His upbringing had been a bit cool, born in penury, luck suddenly smiled on them when his parents won the American visa lottery and they had to leave. They didn't let go of the training and experiences life has taught them, hence he wasn't mollycoddled as a kid. Ego was another aspect of him that was tantamount to his habits with women. He simply hated being turned down. He entered into his office without paying any attention to anyone, it was habitual and they've all come to understand. However, nothing ever goes unnoticed.
While he did his work with an air of insouciance, he couldn't help but ponder on his conversation with Fred. In between, he'd stopped and laughed derisively. It was simply impossible. How could he be made to face such allegations? It was farcical.
Linda had been nothing but a one night stand who incidentally traded her virginity the first time he met her. As usual, he was ready to move on to the next one but she kept pulling some emotional strings and wouldn't let go. She had brought up different issues but he was undaunted. He stopped picking her calls and finally placed her in his past where her type belonged.
She'd gone to Fred freaked out and not willing to accept defeat. Most importantly she was pregnant and wasn't willing to do anything about it. Dotun scratched his head and wondered how he'd managed making it to the office acting cool. Fred had informed him that she said she was going to create a media noise and make sure his parents hear about it. That was way too much. He just couldn't take it, he was being blackmailed.
"****, **** ****" he cursed aloud and kicked his waste bin so hard it tumbled and made some crashing noise. A young lady rushed in on impulse to see if all was well but the look he shot her sent her in the same direction she'd emerged.
He'd never been cajoled, much less from a 21 year old girl who now became his biggest problem. She had him confused, she was naïve.
He picked up the phone and dialled some numbers, barked some orders and parked his stuffs. He was out of there before anyone could say jack. He went through lawyers and tried to see from the legal view what the case was going to look like. Linda seemed to have had everything strategized and he had a lot to lose in turn.
When the Ajalas got to know weeks later, they were so pleased they immediately agreed to let the engagement party for Dotun and Linda take place in their home and without further delay. Dotun didn't like that things were becoming formal but there was little he could do. Linda's growing baby bump was noticeable. Thus, they became couples. Linda was satisfied, her baby would grow knowing its father and she most importantly would not be a laughing stock. She cared less whether Dotun touched her or not, his baby was growing within her.
Dotun's status became the talk of town and ladies avoided him like he had a plague. The few who stayed around did at their own risk. He got tired of the person he used to be, Linda made his life hell. She had a routine for him. He had to get home before a certain time, failure to do so would result into some argument, then make her land in the hospital. It was like she did it on purpose. Each time she was at the hospital, it was for nothing serious. Then the bills come astronomically for ordinary bed rest. He gave up everything for her. She trounced him. Things remained like that for a long time till he met the woman who changed his cards.
Tokunbo had entered his life swiftly. He had stood transfixed at the supermarket where he went to get baby things. She was gorgeous and looked like a make-belief model. Everything about her was icy and she didn't try to correct that impression with first timers. She just didn't have the time, and knowing the effect she had on people it was balanced. He walked up to her with some prepared lines in his head but when she faced him nothing came out of his mouth. He couldn't take all of her beauty in.
"Do you need help with the diaper in your hands? You sure look like you could use one yourself" she said eyeing him all over.
He was taken back, no one had ever talked him down like that, let alone a woman. He  was furious but something about her struck him, her accent was funny and it thrilled him the more. By the time he could put on his player boy demeanour, she had turned her back on him. He wasn't ready to back down.
"I think you're a bit rude, I just wanted to let you know you are beautiful and this colour you have on suits you" he stated flatly.
"You walk up to some chic holding baby diaper and you still wanna psyche her? Why don't you try your luck elsewhere?"
The irritation registered on Tokunbo's face could be read easily. She dropped the shopping basket and left. Dotun was embarrassed but he made up his mind that not even the myriads of insults he got from miss-whatever-her-name-is would make him give up on her.
He narrated his ordeal to Fred who had laughed hysterically. He asked him series of questions about this chic and he couldn't even answer. As far as he was concerned, chasing her was futile.
"Look Dotun, you are married. Why not let things stay that way? Running after some hot chic with your wife in that condition is just not right."
"But for the first time in my life I met someone who feels right for me. Someone I want to live with forever." Dotun defended himself, he was brow beaten at his own game. He'd had that kind of attitude towards girls in the past and to think that finally he got his match was too much to settle for.
Fred's raucous laughter annoyed him.
"Well, if you'd been more calm and cool headed, things might not have turned out this way." He chided.
"Or what do you have in mind? You want to search for this lady, propose to her or what? And considering her double edged tongue, you would be dead soon." Fred concluded.
Dotun's phone beeped, the look on his face gave him away. He answered not pleased.
"Linda. She wants me to buy her Suya, and in five minutes." Fred had another bout of laughter.
"You are hooked man, go home to your loving wife" he said patting him on the shoulder. If there was any word that would have described Linda, it sure wasn't 'Loving'. Dotun threw him an exasperated look and left.

I am a gem
A raw glowing crystal of the earth
With a multitude of sides and angles

I am a spectrum on a continuum
This continuous continuum called life
Forever going, with no thought of me
Existence has no thought of anyone, in fact
And no concept of reality, neither can it perceive the toll it's negative experience allotments has on the individual's life
But existence cannot be blamed, for the hurt it causes us is purely unintentional,
You have to give existence credit for it's intentions--
There are no intentions beheld by the unconscious, therefore if existence were to be personified it would be a neutral force,
though it's impact on our fragile lives from the moment we are conceived and officially a zygote is life-shattering at times,
yet weaved ever so magically through our sadness is joy and the satisfaction of conquering the elements that possess the potential to defeat us.
After every conquest we do become an increment stronger,
though at times we obsess over the bruises we have acquired through our personal wars
Yet, without your struggle, who would you be?

I'm never good enough
You're never good enough
We're all never good enough
We're all not "just right"
These ideas of lack keep us up all night
But if you just let go to those false and self-defeating perspectives
Your true genius would shine, and who could ever put an end to the pure beauty of a soul that emanates the oneness of the source?
We must do away with Capitalism, for it is the source of our discontent and feeling of never ending lack
In the end, we all regress back to a state of being out of touch with the world and being in awe of it simultaneously
When our brains slowly fade back into nonexistence, just like we were before our parents were impregnated with us
Sometimes, you just have to stop and ponder over the cycle
And you start to think about who established the cycle
Which leads to an array of contemplation
One inquiry flowing smoothly but swiftly to the next
My head fills up so quickly with the substance of inquiry
That I can become rather depressed
And it's not the type of depression that's easily cured with rest
It comes to a point where I become obsessed
With finding and deciphering all the answers
That my outward life begins to lose zest
Yet my internal life is growing so rich and so diversely composite that if I were asked to describe my ideas and opinions they would be completely ineffable
I read voraciously, but my mind has a unique system of filtering the articles of myriad genres that I read into this sui generis amalgamation
I have to be careful when I open my mouth to speak
Since my opinions deviate astronomically from the norm
I choose my words wisely to avoid being called insane and treated with scorn.
Since I have to keep most of me a secret, specifically in this provincial vicinity
My heart whispers love to me throughout the day
So I keep the love for my true identity ignited.

I can't deny that subjectively, at times, I view my disposition as a condition that is a contributor of my plight
But objectively I have chosen to wield my sword of might and trudge through this fight
Because I know, just like at the end of every fairy tale is a happy ending
That through the thorny bushes I walk through and all the villains I meet on the way that try to take my life
Their is a sunlit horizon somewhere awaiting me
Awaiting my unique and magical company
Somewhere where I will truly be able to fulfill all of my heart's desires.
Truly, your location is not prejudiced to your desires, but some of the places that you will live will require more courage to fulfill them.

I have many sides, many traits and many distinct ways
About me
But if you want to get to know me quickly and know all of me in one simple image
I will tell you of who I became when the nutcracker played at the end of this children's movie I watched as a toddler
I would intensely imagine the scene that song evoked for me
Coming into character so authentically and indistinguishably from who I was
Out of all of my traits, this one was the one I can recall from the beginning and the one I never lost
My imagination and my strong ability to think visually
Attribute this to genetics, possibly an inherited slight increase of glial cells in my brain (do a google search of glial cells and creativity...
Sometimes, I have to remind myself that Google is not an all-knowing god, even though I ask it just about everything)
So this is who I am
I know myself very well,
but I'm still trying to figure the whole world out.

as soon as she sees it she wants it is entitled to it while she is stealing it she begins elaborate lie everybody knows if she truly wants it she has means everybody knows she is gorgeous movie actress celebrity starlet awesome accessory genius she convinces herself she did not steal it the darling delicate chain with finely crafted handcuff clasp and accompanying key she wears it effortlessly just another imperial trifle hanging around her exquisite throat she has no idea how it got there she may have a drug problem a little dizzy even careless but she is no thief what with her magnificent beauty idyllic body prominent discography why would anyone accuse her she is submerged in deep denial why with so much to lose and absolutely nothing but tiny shimmering embellishment to gain why do tell would anyone point a finger at her she probably wasn’t even ever there at that dicey store she never tried on the astronomically overpriced bling it may have been her dodgy handlers or stylist’s suspect mismanagement and subsequent loan hypothesis she is positively not a thief it’s too insignificant an item to squabble about a mere gold necklace the whole incident ridiculously overblown cruel in fact she hates the miserable paltry piece of jewelry here take it back she insists it never graced her illustrious neck if anything perhaps a cheap ploy by Venice Beach shop to enhance it’s value oh the genuine necklace that she stole

Hello everyone
Since I saw others make writings of themselves here's one about meself....

Well first off
I'm Brandon cory nagley
26 years old born September 23rd 1988
I'm a Libra
Which I believe is honestly most important sign in the solar system lol OK it may sound cocky which I'll tell you about cocky me in one second lol... Anyways I believe mine sign is very important the Libra sign because it is the scales... The scales have always represented good and evil or God and the devil in many cases!!!! Which is like mine life I'm a sinner I won't lie.... I've done much wrong and much good. Though ive Learned we must have good and evil with it to trust God more and to learn from our mistakes... That's a fact!!! Anyways I always know prophetic info I've been posting on here which is coming I believe around mine birthday or on mine birthday.. Yea I'm a Christian BTW. Don't care if anyone likes it or not!! I respect all religions and cultures BTW!! Actually we can all learn from another but there is alot of hate greed and separation from not wanting to learn from one another!!!! So yes lol I'm off track I feel me birthday 9/23 is very important ... Numbers are everything biblically spiritually and in all world tools we use in all ways and religions... See when I was a kid I used to be a good baseball player ! I was a pitcher all way til sixth grade even Maby seventh. But I was an amazing pitcher I won't lie that's cocky but have many to back it up. I was also first basemen. And was so good had scouts look at me from Toledo mudhens and from a school called start highschool ten mins from Toledo Ohio...I also played basketball young and football!!!  I have been a musician since really like 11, 12ish.. I used to hang around a bunch of rap artists and hip hop artists... They'd rap and sing I'd write lyrics for some of those rappers....  So they gave me the nick name white chocolate LOLLL!! No joke.. I was there white buddy... Anyways one of those frends who rapped named Devon Bailey aka chuckie Bailey now is doing big things with bone thugs and harmony and Rick Ross... I played piano since I've been fifteen.. started off playing piano by watching a guy in !mine choir I was in. I was a tenor!! I can sing high or low lol.. Anyways there was guy named Turner ferrara.. He looked like Paul McCartney which I love Beatles. Turner played Beatles tunes on piano daily and I watched him like a ****** in the stands play.. I learned a few keys from him that caught on! Did music lessons for few weeks Than played meself... I started playing me fav song imagine by john Lennon on piano along with other Beatles tunes long winding road so on! Also played lots of zeppelin stairway to heaven alot!!! Lol people I think started just tuning me out . though I did have lots of girl fans lol...
Of back to me and sports lol. I always wore number 9 as jersey number I never knew why but me and !me numbers 9 and 23 me b day numbers have importance to me . well Micheal Jordan favorite player was 23 me b day lol and nine was mine fav number and b day month which I always used to see on clock btw I'm not crazy I always saw so did me mum saw 9;23 on clock.... Me b day so I know this number is of big meaning to me and to not just me the world period because ironically this year something big is coming astronomically...

It's the little things that
drives one mad,
a snapped shoelace,
on your way to the
liquor store in the
driving snow.
A cockroach in
the cereal,
dead batteries, when all you
want to do is listen
to music.
Shifty eyed people in
my house, quietly plotting
my demise.
It's the tree of
life, cut down to clear
space for a parking lot.
No love from my brother.
Another frosty day in April.
Cigarette prices constantly
rising astronomically.
Footsteps in an empty
hallway.
It's Just a hop, skip, and
a jump to the madhouse.

as i get older, i realize bonds are not as easily forged and the value of friendship increases astronomically
i realize how long it's been since i've been touched
and remember how i used to hug each and every one of my friends when i was younger
and now it's a wave, a quick nod of the head before briskly walking out the door, no looking back, no checking to see if everything is okay
i realize loneliness isn't saved for 2 am revelations
loneliness is saved in the mundane moments-
watching tv on the couch
wanting to tell someone how i feel, but not wanting to annoy anyone
trying to sleep in the middle of the day because there's nothing to look forward to and oblivion is better than the soul crushing disappointment
of loneliness

You don't see it, or understand it
I could frankly care less if you do

From the depths of my heart 
Referring it to as an ocean
It forms a tsunami when I'm around you

From the depths of my heart
Referring to it astronomically
Millions of shooting stars run across the sky for you

From the depths of my heart
Referring it to everything we are
We are love, in the finest forms.

It's been five years
since the Moon spoke to me
And I did my best to listen
and remember

I'd never been more lost
never felt more alone and confused
never been closer to death
than I was that year
Technically an accident
but living so recklessly
"accidents" become a near certainty
so I am not free of responsibility
I nearly ended my self

Grasping at straws for months on end
Clutching at any whispered fragment of hope
of a Way Out
One morning
I heard a news report
about an upcoming celestial event
a Total Lunar Eclipse
of the Full Moon
I barely noticed it
thought nothing of it
changed the channel
and landed on a cartoon
about the embodiment of the Tao
in the Spirit of the Moon
and something clicked
I know that click
I'm intimately familiar with that click
I have been my whole life
But it'd been almost a year since I'd last felt it
I thought it was gone
gone forever
but here it was again
from a news report
and a cartoon
a cartoon!
of all things
but unmistakeable nonetheless
something about the Tao
and the Moon
and an eclipse

That night five years ago
the night of the eclipse
I didn't know what to do
I almost gave up
but I finally decided to go through with it
out of a sense of absolute desperation
I had nothing left
I might as well
At the appointed time
I took my posture
half-lotus in front of my altar
set flame to candle
and recel
I tried to relax
to let go
to empty myself
I found my Center Mind
and reached inward
to the Void
When it was time I let myself go
drifting up out of my body
flying through the atmosphere
floating in space
above the Earth
staring at the glowing white surface of the Moon
filling my vision
with cratered beauty
and profound grace

And I waited
I watched as a shadow crept across the face of the Moon
from East to West
as the Earth behind me
moved slowly between us and the Sun
And I waited
until the shadow blotted out the Moon entirely
leaving me in darkness
And I waited

And nothing happened

And I felt something inside me break
I had been so certain
that click had always meant The Way before
but nothing had happened
I must really be Lost then
so I gave up
and started to let myself fall back to my body

Just then
the eclipse broke
as the Earth continued on its Way
the shadow began to leave the face of the Moon
a brilliant crescent of white light blinded me from the eastern edge
and I heard a voice that was not my own say

All things that Are, are Change

As amazing as the experience was
a voice inside my head
that I did not recognize
I was still let down
What it had said was
hardly news to me
a paraphrasing of Heraclitus
"All things that Are, are Fire"
The only Constant is Change
Nothing is Certain
except Uncertainty
et cetera
I knew that
had been living it
for years
the purview of Chaos
Nothing is True
and Everything is Permitted
Kids' stuff
arm-chair mysticism
Tell me something I don't know
I said
And the voice answered

You cannot be Good
You cannot be Bad
You can only Be

And suddenly I knew
what should've been obvious
all along
Good and Bad are entirely subjective
just ideas
not Truth
their existence depends entirely
on our particular point of view
at any given moment
there is no single thing in this Universe
that is entirely Good
or entirely Bad
every single thing is both
Good and Bad
depending on your circumstance
your point of view
how you look at it
just as no single thing in this Universe
is entirely Yin
or entirely Yang
every single thing is both
Yin and Yang
that is the Way
that is the Tao

How had I lost sight of that?
What had happened to me?
I wanted more
I knew there was more
I asked the Spirit of the Moon
What else?
and Manni-Moon-Yin replied

Look on the Bright Side
Make the Most of it

Again it suddenly seemed so obvious
it followed naturally that
if all things are both
Good and Bad
then it must be our choice
to view them either one way
or the other
Joy is not a circumstance
Happiness is not an event
something beyond our control
that we must wait for
wait until it happens to us
No
It is a choice
it is something that we do
or don't do
So if there is Good in every single thing
then all I need to do
is choose to see it

Reeling
Overwhelmed
Overcome
Humbled
Awed
I asked
Is that all?
And Manni-Moon-Yin replied

You are Amazing
And so is Everyone Else

Human existence is
astronomically improbable
We should not exist
We are the end result
of a billion
one-in-a-billion chances
all coming up Jackpot
even the worst of Us
is an absolute ******* miracle of Nature
the most amazing thing in the known Universe
the Living Embodiment of Tao
a Human Being
an astounding accident
a chemical formula so complex
that it has become aware of itself
and I am one of them
and I should never lose sight of that
I am one of these ridiculously
outrageously
amazing pinpoints of sentience
and so is every single other person I will ever see
or hear
or touch
or encounter in any way
throughout my entire life
Each person is an Individual
and I can't know them
can't know their experience
or their circumstance
so it is unfair
and pointless
and rather ridiculous
to try and judge them
when we are all equally amazing
each in our own Way

I said Goodbye then
to Sifu
to Master
to Manni-Moon-Yin
and slowly fell back to Earth
back to my body
back to my self
anchored by Knowing
by finally Knowing
something
some True thing
again
with certainty
and clarity

To this day
I do not know
whose voice I heard that night
the Moon Spirit's
or my own
my Unconscious
and I don't care
it makes no difference to me
either way
because the words that voice spoke
are Truth
undeniable
inarguable
solid
foundational
Truth
and I will remember them
for as long as I live
and as long as I remember them
I will never again
be lost

I am the nothingness that engulfs a dying star,
I am one third of a negatively charged down quark.
I am the rage that sparks Zeus's lightning bolt,
I am the constant difference between fission and fusion.
I am that transient sigh between two zeptoseconds, so insignificant I have no essence.

I am that pestilent cosmic conundrum of how to prove string theory,
I am that inevitable faux pas; who mimics a rotten black cherry.
I am the rip in the fabric of space and time, I transcend the unknown.
I am nothing but a forsaken speck of dust existing in a parallel multi-dimension of possibilities, waiting to be reclaimed by the nebula that I once called home.

She is the light that brought life to the Garden of Eden,
She is the beating heart of a neutron star.
She is the gravity to my anti-gravity,
She breathes the cosmos into reality.
Her elegant essence evokes my euphoric entity from oblivion.
She is the astronomically accurate measurement of the companionship between space, gravity and time.

She is the;
Sanctuary of my heart, the
Archangel who guards my soul, the
Neutron that forged my being, and the
Andromeda who owns my love.

I’d spent months
working on the vector-calculations,
checking, verifying, rechecking, rechecking, rechecking
in a circular-order, a daily ritual,
infecting my mind with worry.

Such things were important,
so very critical for mission success.
A careless subtraction,
a meaningless missed-detail,
one minor error in the numbers
and my chances went up astronomically.
The chances I would not make it back,
not make it back to see all those nice things
going on down on the surface.

Strange, how your mind can play tricks on you up here,
this lonely place where dreams are made
& lost. I know she’ll be sorry when she finds out
about my mistake, but things
should have been better between us.

Sadly, they weren’t.

The room is clear and the air is filtered
Two chairs for me and her, to separate and segregate
I grind my teeth and I clinch my fist, to the point where
I experience near sudden paralysis in my right hand,
and I think to myself, "I didn't love you because you were rich".
No such things as unaccepted apologies.

Between the two pillars of our own truth, there stands 32 Dr. Phils,
and each one attempts to explain to me
on how to be a reasonable and rational man,
so I can grow old with her, and learn how to fly without having any mosquito wings.
As I sit impatiently in this draconian chair of imprisonment with no restraints,
I think of what we once had and what we can still accomplish
by not believing in things such as unaccepted apologies.

By realizing that we are no longer on training wheels,
That the jagged surface that bridges us,
From a love that can shave diamonds and convert children into angels after death.
And when we get to that bridge, we will see ourselves with our children
as they walk and crawl to our bodies,
infesting their love across our fat bellies with their eyes and their drooling mouths.
I want our children to learn their first words that signify the exact representation
of our relationship;
their vivid sounds of "mamas, dadas, goo-goos, ga-gas"
hanging to our ears like raindrops on windshields,
like a mobile softly swinging over their cribs.

I relinquish myself from this seat as I run to hers,
to grab her, to tell her how ****** this situation is.
How our internal and legal battles are astronomically indifferent
To the spheric gift from God that has shun His light to your tiny stomach,
like the flickering spark of a dying flash.

It seemed your hands could mold me
into whatever you deemed appropriate that week,
while I let you do whatever you pleased.
We collided at rapid speeds,
and neither of us would ever
accept blame for the damage done.
Now, after the destruction has ceased
to amuse you, you've moved on.
You've no bow, and no arrow,
but always a target, nonetheless.
Each one always harder than the last.

In the end, we'll still be friends
bound by mutual and situational obligations.
We'll run from the awkwardness
and try not to drown in the depths
of denial, for a little while.
After that, things will most likely be normal,
because astronomically, grudges aren't my forte,
and you're just oblivious to the pain
you've caused me. In the mean time,
I'm nobody's girl, and if you were to ever
come crawling back, it'd be something like
handing me your weapon so I could practice my own shot.

I can't seem to focus
and I don't seem to notice
I am far,
I'm living but so far.

I tried to travel back
but something was pulling me
Even in my darkest hours,
You were there.

Watching over me
like the ten thousand beautiful
stars that you are,
A sun

astronomically great
I was awakened;
when I was with you on my own
all the pain of yesterday disappeared.

You're such a dream to me
but that will not be justice
the patience you had with me and all along
you were right there in front of me

Just when i thought
there was no light that
breaks up the dark
You were there.

They say
Allah is one
it's true Allah is one
The one that was the Light In My Darkness

It's not often that mere conversation like we had makes me feel so intrigued, but when you sang those few songs your voice made me feel tranquility in a dose I've truly never felt. My heart fluttered, and if I hadn't been floating in a pool I would have had to sit down, my knees were so weak. You couldn't see in the darkness but I was in awe, so much so that if we had been standing in a room full of art, I only could have looked at you.
I swear you turned the night sky into tie dye, a hippy haven for my mind. On heavens hill I found my soul, all my anxieties flowed out. I drank more slowly once your voice came forward, it was much more intoxicating than the lager I had chosen. I knew all these feelings may have been the alcohol, but I decided, **** it. I never feel intrigued, I was so surprised to have my interests peaked, that I would entertain myself and you, because for once, I didn't freeze.

I awoke the next morning, after sleeping off my chemicals, both the ones I ingested and the ones my body produced at the sight of such a pleasing specimen of the female form. I found my head hurting, but remembered the sights I saw, the glow of the stars and string lights, melted in my memory to form a tie dye blot, the colors meddled together. It was as astronomically beautiful as you had been the night before.

Ideas and Feelings inevitably start
From deep inside a pregnant heart
Ideas ! But surely the brain is the thing?
Yet brains fall dumb when heart doth sing.

So many a notion is drowned at birth
As for emotion; they often fare worse
For dreams never fly until they’re set free
So “When ?”to release them , you ask of me

Well if  ever’s the time to make them true
Then do it today
Whilst that moon’s shining blue.


*Well not literally, but astronomically speaking, it is tonight !

I was three, four--surely no more
we marched through the old city, I
mostly on father's shoulders, a place
I was perched so often back then  

of a thousand dry seas on the moon's
pocked face, only one my father chose to wed  
with a bomb crater: Mare Ingenii

to others, you were but a mammoth hole,
ill-timed casualty of the bombers wrath,
but Dad named you for a barren basin
on the dark side of the moon  

eons later, I was an ancient ten,
and John Glenn spun thrice around the globe
I then asked if we would live to see the real you,  
an astronomically sculpted scoop, two hundred
arctic black miles across  

dad said of course,
and I believed him, especially
after I asked when, and he said
a billion years ago

I confess in this test that we call life,
We all use, various things, to reduce strife.
In dark times it's hard, to be a light.
Which leads us to getting lost in tunes after a long night.
Now despite whatever's the preferred genre,
I'll manifest what I rep and lay it down upon ya.
Break down your walls with a magnetic new energy,
Crafted in the kitchen and blended so splendidly.
Differences in instances have influenced the bliss in this,
This art is how you choose it
However you view it, we were blessed with music.

I saw you alone, with headphones,
and it was almost sad to see.
I nod as I walk past, casually.
We're both drowning, in you I see the eternal me
It hasn't taken long to see that we connect perfectly.
Our soul is our luxury,
Deeply rooted we have grown astronomically
and by the music we are bound Universally.


It promotes your liberation,
Instilling feelings in you without hesitation, no need for contemplation.

Music will be with you wherever you take it,
Find solace in it's comfort like a security blanket.

My Utmost Significance Isn't Confined
The art lies in what you see within the lines.

Some people are cynical about college -  it’s rigid, they say - why is it even needed?

Don’t be confused about college - it’s not a place for creativity. You can’t use an essay to wander restlessly through your imagination - you’ll fail - and fail quickly. Universities are places for conscientious minds.

Conscientiousness - the desire to do the needed well and thoroughly - is the best predictor of success in college, in graduate school, in law, in management and anyplace that has structure and rules.

In science, most progress is incremental. Oh sure, there’s the occasional Einstein who changes everything, but that’s rare. The reason science is so powerful is that it allows regular, educated people to advance knowledge one microstep at a time. Imagine a hundred thousand people microstepping and exchanging knowledge and wow, now we’re zooming.

You don’t want a surgeon in their well lit operating theater to have an inspiration and try something new on you. You want them to apply the state-of-the-art procedure diligently and carefully.

Entrepreneurs and artists don’t always do well in college. Those careers require constant “out of the box” thinking. When a person starts a company, there are no rules, it’s necessary for the entrepreneur to make things work on the fly. Artists are almost required to break or create new rules. Conscientiousness certainly plays a part in those fields but it’s not the main predictor of success.

Creativity is necessary - every company needs a small group of people generating new ideas but it’s a high risk, high reward game. Few new ideas pan out - the odds that your idea will be unique, practical, affordable and reach the marketplace at exactly the right time to be successful are astronomically low.

Someone who wants to - who feels they have to be creative - is almost cursed. Yes, it’s ironic that I’m publishing this on a poetry site - but in most cases creative people fail - it’s much better for the average someone to be practical. Practical people are generally more successful in life although the rare creative can be extremely successful (Musk, Jobs, Gates).

Colleges teach how our world works - a simulacrum of what is currently known - in hopes that the student will be able, one day, to ask the next question - the one that will push their particular science ahead that one microstep and move us all into the bright future.

It is utterly preposterous
that so many beautiful people
can believe they aren't lovely
that they can wonder if
anyone has ever loved them
that they can look at themselves and see
hopeless, ugly, worthless
because I have loved enough beautiful people
who didn't know they are beautiful
to let you know that
chances are, if you don't realize your loveliness,
you are beyond heavenly- the only reason no one has told you
is because they were scared you wouldn't love them back.
I have loved enough beautiful people
to trace the trend and absorb the sheer irony of it
that all the astronomically lovely men and women
doubt that it even exists.
I breathe, dream, and have cried over you,
O chariot of the gods, you vessel of angels,
I have woken to your sight imprinted on my eyelids,
I have woven your every word into my poetry.
It is utterly preposterous
that so many beautiful people
don't see their own beauty
while I live for the sight of it.

we took the same bus
astronomically
math
will work things out

Liberal Hillary for notsee Trumpler,
Dempublicans for remocrats,
Because the invisible coup lied,
Hillary's "not perfect", was all
The excuse dinos, linos, sinos, ginos,
Ainos, kremlin kronies, hackers, wicked
Leaks, Bernie or bust bots, needed.

The worst, US intelligence/police industrial
Complex, who, like king george and his
****, Cheney, purposely not preventing the
Attacks on 9-11-01, they didn't prevent the
Hacking of our 11-16 elections, installing
Trumpler and attempting to realize a borne
Again cold war, extreme theft of tax $, etc..

Potential democracy for mediocracy,
Peace and prosperity for Ebony, ivory,
The Black and white supremacies'
Cannibalizing the future, for e.g.,
Tax dolla's, in perfect harmony,
To replicate the past's supposed:
Profits, pleasures, and powers.

$12. to $15. an hour minimum wage,
Reproductive and healthcare rights
Progressed, et al, for the Black
Supremacy getting: a President in 2020,
Potentially, instead of waiting till
2040, 'cause, "once you go Black you
Never go back", extreme war funding, etc..

"...We(e),...", used to know to: not
Grind up the seeds, let our kid's as...
Be, and let them be kids, the real
Deficits realized are astronomically
Higher, like when the trillion ton
Ice cube was dropped in the drink,
Cooling things off for a bit, but,

Heating them up forever, burning,
Flooding, extincting everything.  We can,
Individually, turn 360 degrees around,
Back to The Evolution, the future, humans
Will only have if we do.  By changing
Everything, swapping criminal insanity
For sanity, exigency for humanity, again.

upon coming to the exit and birth, beginning, origin of the supermarket, I had the vision I was pushing my own body out of the morgue/into the abyss.
sleek, ultra-modern, aseptic carrion floor, processed through checkout, aisles, background fuzz, and the pointless chatter of deciding upon this or that alienated labour product.
the worthless time, the bare destitution, the surging eyes fixed across a nothingness that reduced both you and i to economic ex--
a holy verification of existence together in this ******* astronomically ******* up world.

blood at my index, slit along the serrated edge of a tin, metal scrap, upon a mountain of flesh; empire, bread and sons.
mass, *****, incarceration, brand loyalty, ethical spending, assimilation; all wallets bleed the same.
my race, my class, my gender, my age; DIY elevator pitch.

there.s nothing left.
there.s no.thing lft.
there.s n.thing .ft.
th.re.s g.f.
h.re.
e.

fine thread through the arched belly of a bleached whale, blood mixed with the grease, and salt, and death.

So,
you're a physicist,
waxing lyrical around the stars but
being clinical about there being
life on Mars.

How topical, how very
short sighted and
astronomically speaking, how anatomically we're seeking something
similar to us.

The very chemicals of extra terrestrials are in our genes
(or so it seems)
we are just an alien, a species foreign to this shore,a
stopping off point to a world of more,
so you're a physicist?
You must have missed the last bus home.

2012 had been warped by the contents of a vile,
A hallucinogenic liquid that I would put on my tongue
And ingest like a good sport
I so very much liked where it would transport me
Far away from any perceivable misery
I floated out of my body
And my circumstances had no emotional pull over me anymore
But the consequences were beyond therapeutic
I transcended so high
That I became disassociated from my body
And corrupt thoughts sprouted in my mind,
Ones that didn't really belong to me
This liquid separated me from my earthly misery but also cut me off from my human empathy

2012 was about being pretty
It was about being the prettiest girl I could be,
Even while wasting away inside
The first thing I would do in the morning was smoke a joint to myself,
Which would trigger a panic attack, something I had not experienced before that time
And then waste nearly an hour painting my face
And never being satisfied with the end result
That year was surrounded by other pretty girls,
Who were callous and self centered
Who frivolously ignored my intense well of sadness,
Exacerbating my wounds by their self absorption
Every time I reached out my hand to my friends for genuine comfort or alleviation
My hand of slapped back down and instead a joint was passed to me, or a bottle of alcohol, or an adderall, or a bottle of robotussin, or a pill of ecstasy or a liquid hallucinogenic in a vile
And I imbibed and imbibed and imbibed
In a desperate attempt to suppress everything
Up until the point where when I looked into the mirror,
I couldn't recognize myself anymore
I felt so detached from everything,
Including myself

Like all extreme ways of escapism,
Everything ended with intense chaos
Hitting rock bottom
Is God's final and loudest wake up call
I literally ended up stranded in the rain oneday,
With no where to go and no one to turn to
So I was just there, in an unfamiliar place
In the pouring rain,
Sobbing profusely
All the anguish pent up in my body decided to release itself all at that very moment
One of my parents had betrayed me yet again
And I would have to pay a heavy consequence for their lies, for their incessant blame of me for everything wrong in their life
I would have to pay that price for a whole year following
I don't like to think that all things are God's will and that bad things happen for a reason,
But I can't help feeling like all the chaos that led to my wake up call were so integral to me becoming clean,
Because I just know that if I went another year the way I was living I was going to die

The chaos in our lives, the unwanted discord we so desperately try to escape
Is a catalyst to the realization of our true self
Chaos is like fire that burns away all things that aren't in alignment with our indisputable truth
I can't help being grateful for everything that didn't go the way I planned,
Because when my plans failed
I came upon an astronomically more fulfilling path that I didn't even know existed because I was so focused on the plan I had created
What if we stepped into the fire, instead of trying to bypass it
What if we allowed it to consume us, the traits that originate from our ego, until all that is left is our essential self
Our simplest and purest form in which we become agents of love and radical reform,
Selfless and humble vessels of God
Renewed by reliance on Him
And not hustling for our self worth by our own means
Each of us, in our unique way, are heroes,
When we own our war story
And share our transformation produced by surrender to God
Saints who are far from perfect
But courageously living out the truth and love God has planted in our hearts.

Sometime, astronomically soon,
our dying sun will swallow up this planet
and along with all that matter
will go all that mattered. . .

And scientists from a distant star
will probably observe our ending
and, if there isn’t too much news that day,
we'll get a casual mention on some sort of radio station,
after all the politics and just before the sport and weather,
from our science correspondent.

And some distant-star commuter,
stuck in inter-stellar traffic,
hearing of our final curtain,
may just look in our direction;
no, correction: ex-direction
and wonder if our lives were any better.

As those arms wrap around my waist
and I see.nebulars and galaxies
I feel complete
and nothing can compare to the astronomically ruckus of.joy erupting from my belly
I feel like universies are born from my fingertips
and possibiliteis are born from my lips
I feel like I AM life
all that is..