"Forget me already. It's not mmm... good for you to still remember me. Uhh; I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.

Sarah wasn't your average university student, ash blonde with streaks of red in her hair, slim tanned legs just enough to make a young teen salivate. She was neither tall nor short, and if Goldilocks had met Sarah before Goldilocks would have exclaimed 'just right' about Sarah's height. You couldn't tell whether she was rich nor poor because Sarah had always worn amiable denim jeans though they were always ripped. It could have just been her fashion statement, a sardonic "looky over here people. I'm charming pfft, no one knows how charming I am and I don't even have to show skin to do so". Sarah though seemingly perfect on the surface, had always had self esteem issues; she'd mumble sentences and say "don't worry" when she struggled to convey herself.

"... Please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face.
    To Jim, this was the usual request he'd heard over and over. At this point, about a million and twenty three times; it no longer phased him. Jim gulped in a mouthful of air before going onto his retaliation; except his retaliation did not involve calling her 'a *****' nor did it involve calling her 'a **** covered ***** that no one will ever love'. No... Jim was civil tongued in a rather strange demeanour.

"Sarah darling. The moment I forget you, the skies will fall, the clouds will shake, rain will flood the Earth because the very second I forget you, my world and I will have been destroyed", Jim said with a sheepish grin. Jim was a cunning man, almost too smart for his own good at times. He'd always reminisce on that one date he had with Sarah. He had taken her to a nearby farm, and nearby to a suburban kid was a two and half hour drive. The farm was not the most romantic place but to Jim, cow manure and sheep manure whispered "this is the most organic and romantic place you can ever find". The minute they had arrived in the general location of the farm, Sarah had already been, hungry, tired, sleepy, angry and most of all she had to put up with Jim not revealing anything to her....So fear was one of the cause of her anxiety with Jim, though she could trust Jim with her life so it somewhat lessened, the very moment that fear piqued.

The ground, wet soil, faint smells of manure, 'Nature'. Jim flaunted the minute he had arrived "HOLY SHEEP! Look around Sarah, aren't they wonderful?"
          Sarah mumbled, as she most likely always does "they....mmmm....they are nice....umm I guess".

Jim projected his voice, shocking Sarah again, but at this point a feather falling to the ground would have spooked poor little Sarah. "SARAH! Look over here. Do you see the cow. Why don't we call her Cherry?"

"Why Cherry?" Sarah asked with a puzzled look on her face.

Jim took a big breath of the farmland air "Because ...cherries are edible."

Sarah slightly disgusted but with a smile on her face nonetheless.

Suddenly, Jim grew quiet; and for a blabbermouth, 'would forget to breathe because he's talking' Jim, this is a pointer that there may be something that wasn't exactly right.

Jim spoke, breaking the silence created by the void of words that was Jim and Sarah, 'Babe. I've been thinking... and before you jump to conclusions, no we are not breaking up, not on a farmland, that's how you'll **** me and feed my bodies to the pig or something....and nothing eats Jim Thorens except dinosaurs. I wanted to say, I've been thinking about how lucky I am. No I didn't win the lottery, nor did I come to an inheritance of a million dollars; one because I don't gamble and two because ...my shitheap of a family won't even leave a cent to me probably. But I am a lucky man, because I have you and having you is like winning the lottery. It is like inheriting a million dollars. It is like having the palms of the world, in a single minute I get to hold your hand."

Sarah spoke, tears invading the corner of her eyes, "Maybe this world is too good for us. I don't know but lately, it feels as though walls are collapsing and I can't keep feigning it anymore. I chose to come along with you in hopes you'd end things with me", Sarah had hardly ever spoken for so long without a few umms or ahhs in the way, but this time something came over her.

"...But I love you babe. Don't you love me?" Jim building a bridge to clear the doubt in between their relationships. Sadly, the bridge he built in the form of a question did not support the weight that they both held. One loving too much, and another loving too little.

A few days had passed. Well what was a few days for those who aren't heartbroken, felt like decades for those with a hellish hole forming in their hearts. A few days, merely a few days, with the overclouding, overbearing sensation of a lifetime.

Jim Thorens had called Sarah Silva to arrange a meeting, with the tone of 'complete strangers, who tried to hid that they were past lovers'. "Hey Sarah, It's Jim here. I've been wondering if...ummm if you'd ahh want to get a coffee. So we can have a little umm chat?" Jim spoke as he left a voicemail.

Jim Thorens saw Sarah Silva making her way to the empty chair in front of him, a smile lit on his face as it had always done in the before-times. Except now, it wasn't the same as the before times.

"Forget me already." Sarah mouthed in silence and though Jim could not read lips, he understood. He understood every bit of that silent air.

"Forget me already. It's not good for you to still remember me. I want you gone from my life, please?" Sarah requested with frustration creased on her face and a subtle roll of her eyes. This time, Jim's pain was audible.

"What if we..." Jim started to speak before being completely cut off by Sarah.

"Don't worry". Sarah said, as she stood up and left.

Ahh, shady lady says she’s shy
And insecure
As it were,
I say sure,
Sure, she’s a bit demure,
But that’s only part
Of  her
Allure,
I too am shy and raconteur.
Ahh, I always worry
Cuz faces are blurry
I never remember the names;
I hide behind a graffiti covered wall
Standing tall
Feeling small
I guess I’m just part of the games
People play
All day, they
Deep freeze you,
Mess with you, then
Bless You when
You sneeze,
Ahh, get down on your knees
Please, and
Beg for mercy
Beg for pain,
Scarecrow needs a brain,
I’m begging cuz I got nothing to gain
Ahh, let me explain,
Nothing to gain, nothing to lose
Wouldn’t refuse,
A new pair of shoes
Mine are old,
Have a hole in the toe
The laces are broke
And tied in a knot,
What you got,
In your store,
You can give to the poor?
Or for a switch,
You can give to the rich,
Ahh, relax,
They pay the tax,
But, I ain’t no Robin Hood, or
William Tell, whose
Overture to the pits of Hell,
Didn’t sell,
Until he licensed it to the Lone Ranger,
Hi ** Silver, ask a stranger
If it takes a silver bullet,
To **** the wicked witch,
*****,
Lies underneath the house,
Curling toes and ruby slippers,
Dreaming of all the zippers
She unzipped, then walked away,
Ahh, it’s a brand new day.
So if the IRS calls
Tell ‘em I’m dead
Or went to bed
I’ll sleep it off till noon,
Now you got the name of this tune
I’m howlin’ at the moon!
I’m crazy as a loon,
See you soon.
See you soon,
See ya,
Soon,
I’m leavin’ in a hot air balloon,
Ahh, there’s no place like home.
Or Rome,
If you get the chance
To dance,
With the Pope,
Or if you want to see the lions
In the Coliseum,
You can see’em,
Having lunch,
Captain Crunch,
The Tin Man needs a heart,
Tear me up,
Tear me apart,
Ahh, you were all there,
You, and You, and You,
For certain,
You were all behind the curtain,
Ahh, MGM,
And the lion roars,
The End
Phil Lindsey 1/13/17

I pressed my left heel down to get it into the strap of my sparkled sandal--bought from the cheap version of the rich girl store; I got them more than half off.
I'm a fraud.

Sliding my foot into the shoe,
the way I've done so many times before,
I lose my balance.

And there goes the first one.
I knew the nails were coming off;
I'm not all that wealthy.

I have to wait until the last minute to cough up fifteen bucks to get these things re-done.
I thought it just popped the nail straight off,
but it throbs and is begging for me to pay it some attention.

I peer down at where the once perfectly manicured nail (baby blue tips and all) had sat upon my index finger.
It has left a ****** mess--jagged and imperfect.

I can see my real nail drawn up next to my cuticle like a smile.
Placed on top is a half moon of hardened acrylic until it breaks off near the soft doughy point of my freshly exposed fingertip.
Edgy.
Almost.

The blood lines the rim and trickles it's way down
curving its way around the smile;
highlighting the crescent of my own fingernail.
It throbs.

“****.”
I say wanting someone to hear me.
“****.”
a little louder.

I just want to complain lately.
I want a little attention for the suffering I put my own self through.
As I wait it throbs more.

I wipe the blood away just to watch it refill.
I walk down the stairs,
and they take care of me.
They give me my oohs and ahhs and owes,
put some ointment on a paper towel because we don't have bandaids,
wrap it with tape,
and I'm off to sew my dress back together for dinner.

My sister's dress;
my sister's dress that she got from a nearby neighbor
who stuffed it in a trash bag and left it there for us to take.

Maybe I will get a discount.

Doctor told me
I got a Vitamin D deficiency
Thought "I coulda told you that!
It's been 7 months!"
#TrueStory

But in all seriousness
Twas a relief
To have an explanation
For all the fatigue
And flu and aches
And moods

I know I'm sick but was
Tired of always feelin ill
Child with Ricketts level
Gave me some souped up pills

Could feel it in my bone ahhs!
This is the ****** ***!
Alive again!
Spring in my step!

And though this is all said in fun
There's lessons to be taken
From the blood tests
I just had done

Put those vampire tendencies
Behind you
Catch them rays
Enjoy the ride
And erase the gloomy days
Of sitting inside
Go get out in the sun!

AND IF NOT GO GET YOURSELF SOME!

;)

If I loved lustily like a man,
I'd strip it all down.
I'd take away her oohs and ahhs until only her yeses were left.
If I loved her like a man,
I'd remove her woman's mystery.
I'd tell her she was doing it wrong and show her someone who did me right instead.
I'm glad I don't love quite like a man
Some days, it's easier being a woman.

Back into the circus,
Back into the ring.
Just another spectacle,
Another freak they can make sing.
I'll do my flips and tricks,
I'll sing, dance, juggle flaming sticks.
The audience laughs and cheers.
If one jeers, boos- no one can hear.
The thunderous applause,
Whistles of approval,
All of the oohs and ahhs
Please me and tickle my ears.
Welcome to my carnival.
Here in this tent I put on a show.
It is a mirage to please all who go.
It is the most convincing act-
A performance no one can look past.
They can't see the real me
Past the freak they want me to be.
Here in my circus,
Here in the ring.
Ring around the rosy,
Throw the ashes around like sickness.
Welcome to my carnival
Where I'm just another freak who can sing.
Ring around the rosy circus tent
Until in ashes it all falls down.

A soft touch
Slides across the skin
Chill bumps rise
As belly quivers within

Expert hands used perfectly
Heighten desire
Every touch more exciting than the last
Body heats up like a fire

Lips press to the silken flesh
Velvet tongue delves out
Washing the skin almost
A moan escapes loudly

Teeth nip at skin
Nails scrape the surface
Buds tighten to a sensitive nub
Lips find and kiss

******* deeply
Knocking the wind from the lungs
Back arching
Hands cling to the head

Gasping as body grows hotter
Cries grow louder
Hands move faster
Lips meet lips

Moves grow demanding
Flesh to bare flesh
Growls mix with moans
Bodies entwine

Tension Grows tighter
Movements get faster
Heat engulfs them
Volcanic force surrounds

Electricty surrounds
Crackling and hissing
Shrill voice piercing the ears
Gutteral moans vibrate ear hairs

Finally shaft enters well
Nectar surrounds it delicately
Muscles squeeze and release
Steel hits harder and deeper

Friction increases
Sweat beads on surface
Honey flows against the tight rosebud
Fingers twist and release the plesaure spot

Perfect rhythm
Increases to a frantic dance
Changing position
Depth  unhead of obtained

Whimpers, Whines then Cries
Moans, ahhs, and Groans
Squishing slaps heard repeately
Mouth mash and bite

Timing almost right
It is on its way
Winding tighter
Growing hotter

Suddenly it comes
Body hammers quick and hard
Then pauses and and slams again
Milky white meets clear and thick

Panting cries reach high pitch
Waves of passion overcome all
Collapsing together
Entwined forever

Lovers thats what they are
Now and forever
Never very far from the other
Love You See

Passion

Bliss

Love the best of them All

The ineffable ignites the sky,
As words unspoken
Crackle and combust
Into the raining fire
That lights our eyes.
Oohs and ahhs gasp
As the ashes disappear into the night,
The very fabric of heaven  
We dream of each slumber,
That one day when we too will see the light.
Two lovers kiss beneath God's gates,
Believing that they will ascend into the stars as saints.
When the twilight has passed and dark is upon us,
We too may take that firecracker to the heart,
Life's deepest and cruelest form of art.

How am I supposed to celebrate Americas freedom
While I'm not free myself?
My mind strangled by metaphors
And thoughts of him
The fireworks making the sky
Shine and glow
As he used to do
By placing a smile upon my face...
The oohs and ahhs of excitement;
Barely equivalent to the burst and sizzle
Of each shared kiss...
Happy people in love
Suffocating me,
His scent is pushed past me,
Carried by the wind.
My heart sinks a little more
With each vibrant spiral in the air.
Fire is raining in the sky
As I'm slowly sinking through the ground
And into the fire below.

Fade in: Ext. Theater - Day
Cue clouds: gray shrouds
blanket the sky
and the sun's last remaining rays
Cut to: Ext. Theater - Noon
Cue crowd: no sound,
no song comprise
the mise en scene
of this somber scene
Fade in: Int. Theater - Night
Cue sound: few gasps,
some oohs and ahhs,
some cries comprise
the mise en scene
of this joyous scene
Cut to: extreme close up
Their eyes reflect the faces on the screen:
Newman, Hoffman, Brando, Ledger
Pacino, De Niro
Penn, Caine, Dean
Fade out

Fireworks go off.
Boom. Bang.  Fizzle.

I'm inside reading a book.
Some drunk writer rambling about work.
I hear the oohs and the ahhs of civility outside these four walls
and I look at the bottle of scotch nearest me and grab it.
It goes down and warms my stomach.
I stand up,
walk to the window,
move the curtains out of the way,
and watch outside.
I see people
and their families
standing on front porches,
chaired up in their driveways,
some ***** standing in the streets.
All have their gazes pointed to the sky.
I look.
I wait.

Boom.
Bang.
Fizzle.

Blasts of color and noise
then the dark grey smoke
staining the night sky.
I take another drink from the bottle.
I sit down.
Close my eyes.
I see fireworks
exploding in the sky.

The ooos and ahhs have hunched my mind,
Crippling my conception of a world undefined,
Wandering alone will tear the fabric of this frail design,
And crucify me upon a truth to which I am aligned.

There's a nuisance and a laughter waiting there, just in front,
When fear approaches it is made humble by humour's brazen affront,
Oh such honesty can only be existing to amuse or to make my edges blunt,
Turn the tables of their titles, I am neither teacher nor student.

Hallowed ground? not at all, it did regenerate its soil,
A ground that knew those ancient footsteps knows no more the walker's toil,
From creation's genius clowning I am so ready to recoil,
But I say face the laughing liturgy, recall the joke that roused your turmoil.

A joke that has remained there, at the core of every tear,
It is quiet, almost inaudible, if you will not hush your brain to hear,
Once discovered, like the sun, it strips the night of all its fear,
And in its wake there is a smile and a wreckage to revere.

Consumed
That’s what I am
That’s what we all are

Engulfed
by the flaming desire to be that
special something

The special something that
shimmers and
sparkles
in the light
Creating ‘oohs’ and ‘ahhs’
at every turn of the page

It lives in the back of our minds.
That desire.
Crouching
Waiting for
yet another chance to look
for the
golden pedestal

So,
I am consumed by search
The search for that
special something

In people and places
I’ve looked in
books and
movies and
a few mirrors
here
    and there
But
no image seems to measure up

I just can’t figure it out

My life is laced
with reminders of
the golden pedestal
So,
I’ll let the flames continue
licking my skin
until I’m
nothing
more than burnt ashes
consumed
by the words on a page

i'm thirsting for jacquards and fine stemmed glassware
arias and plain flat violet skies that seem to curve to the clouds
firmness that releases soft edged conversations relinquished doubts
and stubborn stroked outlines of earlier times... peaches in kraft bags
ripened to the sweetness that "ahhs" the tongue and smiles that
linger and trickle down to bebop rhythms and Sarah's songs
tricky stuff said and done with twisting turning resolute
convictions and strained certainties that spoke to truth and
utter passions that seemed to spiral like so many dervishes in tophat
wonderment... look at the fallen trees and lost warriors that happened past histories... ultimate choices when futile jestures seemed
like the oligarch's pronouncements... merriment comes to tamper with
memories and sadness falls into chutes flowing to wide streams
where friends wade knee high over soft slipping stones all placed and counted matched like Orion's special quarter of the universe... stay quietly among the ferns and frogs and pace yourself to the changing monotony or feast upon the first light tickling your eyes tomorrow morning.

A Living Shoreline!
red violet trumpet blossoms
and spiraling vines curl happily
alone the craggy, rocky banks of the Indian River
oyster reefs, black and white mangroves,
truly a wonderful coastal restoration effort
at Ernest Kouwen-Hoven Riverside Park

A little piece of paradise
with a spectacular view of Melbourne skyline
fills us with smiles, oohs and ahhs

David and I hold hands while ambling
out on the long wooden fisherman wharf
jutting out into the Indian River
A few folk at the end of the pier
dangle their baits into
indigo ribbon waves

Perfect day with a lithe breeze,
umbrella clouds, and damask silk blue heavens

A youthful couple in a green and gray hammock
sway playfully to the not too loud rap music

This gorgeous day ends too soon
we pack up our picnic baskets
saunter towards our car
two regal pelicans gracefully bid us adieu

First snow is set to fall.,
Not ready for it at all.
First it's all oozs and ahhs
Then we turn and we shiver
With thought of more on its way.
Pull the covers and wish it away....

It seems so long ago
Yet just a whip of time
When your tounge browsed
Around my lips
You did that to tease me
To weaken me to a puppet state
The only thing I can do
Is hold your hips and let those seductive eyes and sensual breath
freeze me
And with a smile and a coaxing nod
Are bodies entwine
All the oohs and Ahhs provide passion
As I take another sip

Fifth avenue is dressed in her finery
her shop windows glistening
Her Rockerfeller Center tree stands with ohhs and ahhs around
Her daughter was excited
Her mother didn't have the heart to take her to American Girl or FAO Schwartz
The money wasn't there
This young mother was not dressed warmly but her little girl was
New York City has a magic all her own
A beautifully dressed woman with three little girls in tow gave the little girl a bag
Happy Holidays she cried out as she and her children were whisked away in a car
The bag said American ******* it and it was full
In and out the door
Seasons Greetings and be grateful for others don't have what you take for granted

c@rainbowchaser2019

Used to be a time
When pictures were taken
And put into photo albums
Stuck up on a shelf

Used to be a time
When cameras around your neck
Were common place
And expected on holidays

Used to be a time
When we waited days
To see what photos
We had actually taken
And we stood in line
To gather together
With oohs and ahhs
Surprised that many
Weren’t what we expected
With heads chopped off and eyes that were red

Used to be a time
When we used cameras
Instead of telephones
And we bought lenses
Instead of apps

Used to be a time
When it took time
To get the right angle
And we had the time
To wait

Used to be a time when film
Came in canisters
And we used chemicals
To develop them

Used to be a time
When we reminisced
Remembering the good old days
And thinking we knew it all

Used to be a time
And that time is now gone
And no one is developing pictures anymore