I've been still,
Caught in a sweet stasis,
Buried under the same, baseless
Candied gags, slippery hags, body bags ー
But I can't go back.
Haven't moved forward either,
So I still sit silent here.
Maybe I'll someday wither ー

Like dandelions as they scatter in the wind,
I will feel no more the weight of societal sins.
Staying awake in anticipation;
That feeling you get when you see a road blocked
and a wrecked car hoping it was an accident
Eventful; excitement to see that tar black
Crimson on tarmac
and those trampled, broken-pretty shells ー

I want to be a doll.
A pretty hollow pale porcelain
you still can't hurt when I slip through your hands,
Or when you let go and drop me,
Or smash me into the ground ー
It's all the same, isn't it?
You buy, bore, break, blame, build, rebuild
Rebreak, reblame, replace...

I remake real-fake love into stanza-sized stories
Just to rebrand them as poetry;
A molded part to inspire some abstract art.
They're better off that way,
Locked in and stationary;
Sweet standstill sanctuary.
And I'll stay to watch their models fail and break,
As they too, disintegrate ー fellow ******* degenerates

This time I was at your disposal,
But we're all just glorified disposables ー
Ever-hungry, hedonistic at heart.

It's certainly not a fond habit of mine,
But there comes an inevitable time
To redefine the value of every borderline.

Pick apart the pretty pieces
And unfold all their concealing creases;

Can the paling be restored with mere polish?

Our decorous veneer has run dry,
So I'll bid you one final frivolous goodbye.

Albeit I must sincerely confess:
They were never the best,
Ergo it hurt less.

The crescendo of a forgotten love,
Incessant humming, drumming ー
Stirring from the cauldron of the soul,
Shot forth into the cold
Skies and seas above.

A touch of darkness
Gently lifts the veil of dawn.
I smile.

You are not there.

Take on the morning waltz,
Like ghosts ー drifting on;
Cycle of love,

Harrowing raptures.

Your scent, an acute absence
of apples, roses and sunlight,
Fills and intrudes and begs to consume

The remains of my rationality.

Rhythmic incessant thuds,
Drum rolls of flowing blood.
They ringed in my ears,
Welcomed my deepest fears.

A fragility of the flesh,
Shredding open with each new lash.
A fortress of stones, bone-brittle,
Shattering like an overflooded skull.

Haemorrhage, haemorrhage
How they gush,
Bright red, lovesick
Always in a rush.

To think that each wall I built
Only heightened the fall.
Each scar was a sensation,
I know they watched in awe.

Of flesh and stone,
They contest my throne.
Non-consensual,
but eventual.

Caged marionette, dance for me
Your glass chains hold no reins
It's time to break free.
The Light only shows you known lanes,
I will lead you down greater plains.

Your gaze is uncertain,
You falter ever so slightly.
Fear not, lost kitten,
I am yours for eternity.

Young Antoinette, come to me
A train of sorrow ー your best dress
So throw away that leaden pedigree.
The old masters may try to oppress,
Noble heartache you must suppress.

You take one last look
As I wait for thee,
At the safe sullen rook,
A prison it will no longer be.

Naive brunette, sway with me
For the heart and soul you sold,
Was it not I who answered your plea?
Tonight, we shall step past a new threshold,
Its whereabouts ー to God and enlightened beings, untold.

In darkness and damnation,
You remain smitten with me.
With no fear or salvation,
We waltz through tragedies.

A cry for help:

I'm sinking, I'm sinking
Into an ephemeral blink -
Stains and strains of time,

Oh colourless ink.

Dry relief rains:

This pain
                     will wane,
Why worry
                       in vain?
Death lurks
                      in all works.

Don't let it drive you insane.

Long sedative ride,
Harrowingly sweet.
It hurts me so,
To watch you grow;
To see you go

On for an adventure!
Some unknown venture
Into a future
Beyond iridescent curtains,
Where we are no longer certain.

Leaving these petals in the dust ー
My love, I have come to rust!
In a withering web, I've been cast;
I stand to fend off
A journey reaching its end.

As I eye your certainty:
A longing to be free.
I alone should bear this hefty fee
If my beloved would come to be!

And I will remain ー Not belonging, but still

Longing.

They come in gold and silver,
Twinkling lights, gem-filled eyes
Of diamonds and critines,
Dotting this night scene with life.

I don't know where they'll go,
But with each pair passing,
Time went so, so slow.

Stones against my bloodied feet,
Cutting at these pulsating streams.
Tarmac, tar black
Laced with that sacred red.

I don't know how much further I can go,
The shards only dig deeper,
The lights are losing their glow.

They left with stains of crimson,
Apathetic silhouettes slinking in the night,
In a trail of shattered garnets,
Past the corpse of death's bride.

Petals, oh these metals.

They fall,

Paling.

Blackened.

Dyed crimson.

A celebratory death dance,
I have found a new advance.

And the brilliant yellow sun,
How it slinks in the night!

So comfortable,
I have left it behind.

Toxic were the tendrils
that kept me where it stood.

A million stinging nettles,
In my heart, they took root.

The pink quills of Cyanea,
the futility of their purpose.

They don't always wither away,
So I've set them all aflame.

Romeo's sheath, Hermes' fool-
Treating my human tendencies as a tool.

Forget this fragility we call love,
Cut the strings and rise above.

Past the smoke and ashes,
it will come clearer through these lashes.

If my woven words fail to reach you,
Nothing else will ever do.

The yellows swirl and stir,
Awakening this repressed fervor.

In gold flakes that cling and sting,
Your spotlight falters, dancing in a ring;
A reflection of the sun.

Around my head we spun,
Drunken and lost in this rendezvous,
Floating - fleeting, just like you.

Scorched by your misguided torch,
A sun spot, a momentary blotch
On my patchy pink skin.

I was on my way to recovery,
Now stopped by a possibility
That I try to wash down,

To drown
In every guilty sip.
I know there is no end

As I contemplate the taste
Of your drink and
My need for haste;

The sorrow it brings,
As the cogs in my mind turn
And the imprint of us burns

Up in flickers and flames-
I alone should take the blame.

Where do I even begin?
An attraction like sin,
Further into this web, I spin.

Clawing out of the dark,
From the hollows of my heart,
Reaching out for your spark.

These words are not untold,
Born from smears of gold,
Right there for you to unfold.

Perhaps they were too opaque;
Just another one of my mistakes,
Letting the sun's rays pave my way.

In a cold passion,
I picture your face -
A ring of yellow carnations
Like the sun, so desirable
In its vicious brilliance,
Took all sight from my eyes.

I long

To linger no more
      in the hallways of amnesia;
      A clearing of the iridescent haze
      Into a world beyond ー

To sing here no more
      the sound of soulless sorrows;
      Echo into the distant
      Scapes and seas ー

To see no more
      the sights untold;
      Watch men erode,
      Pale petals unfold ー

And fall back on an unbroken dream.