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H E L E N A Apr 29
Blunt brown on blue,
Brew of the brilliant skies above
was what I saw,
was when I knew
This was a place of new beginnings.

Foundation of the delicate bud,
So sturdy, yet fragile in its right;
Bearer of the blossoms,
Spirit of life's delights.
I don't ever want to leave!

Petite pink showers,
Pretty petals' plight ー
The sakura succeed
as my sorrows subside,
And we all fall back to the ground.
sakura ga saiteiru
H E L E N A Mar 7
I put on a paper crown
and let myself drown,
Floating around
in your Atmosphere.

Make no mistake,
I'm a sad sorry state
but it's a little too late
for you to rise up now.

Now all my cards are laid down,
Got my head out of the clouds
I'll see you around
in the Atmosphere.

Now you've let yourself down,
I've got nothing more left to fear
I'll see you around
in the Atmosphere.

'Cause it wasn't really fun
Orbiting round a porcelain Sun,
You can catch me about
in the Atmosphere.
A wee-little experimental
H E L E N A Mar 2
I did not beg for consciousness.
It seeped into me slowly,
Formed a steady stream.

How I despise it!
Thrashing against my porcelain walls;
Thoughts longing to be let out,

To pour from my painted face,
For you to spot "a pout!?"
Yet, it is not allowed

For I am but a doll.
A fancy figure you put up against your wall,
And forget about when you're ready for an overhaul;

Re-modelling of your room ー
My impending doom.
I am passed on,

Hand from hand,
Land to land,
But I never seem to settle

For long
Because something always goes wrong!
So tell me,

How can I be "right"?
What have I done to deserve this plight?
Why is it only I who sits in the dark on star-strewn nights?

I am but your doll;
You toy with me till you've grown bored,
Or when you've had enough of playing God.

I don't want your pity.
If I did, I just need to sit around and look pretty
Until I forget about you.
I want to be a pretty hollow, pale porcelain.

H E L E N A Feb 25
I've been still,
Caught in a sweet stasis,
Buried under the same, baseless
Candied gags, slippery hags, body bags ー
But I can't go back.
Haven't moved forward either,
So I still sit silent here.
Maybe I'll someday wither ー

Like dandelions as they scatter in the wind,
I will feel no more the weight of societal sins.
Staying awake in anticipation;
That feeling you get when you see a road blocked
and a wrecked car hoping it was an accident
Eventful; excitement to see that tar black
Crimson on tarmac
and those trampled, broken-pretty shells ー

I want to be a doll.
A pretty hollow pale porcelain
you still can't hurt when I slip through your hands,
Or when you let go and drop me,
Or smash me into the ground ー
It's all the same, isn't it?
You buy, bore, break, blame, build, rebuild
Rebreak, reblame, replace...

I remake real-fake love into stanza-sized stories
Just to rebrand them as poetry;
A molded part to inspire some abstract art.
They're better off that way,
Locked in and stationary;
Sweet standstill sanctuary.
And I'll stay to watch their models fail and break,
As they too, disintegrate ー fellow ******* degenerates

This time I was at your disposal,
But we're all just glorified disposables ー
Ever-hungry, hedonistic at heart.
Excuse her language.

H E L E N A Feb 18
It's strange.
Progressively faint,
Denouncing a saint.

It's strained.
Every smile forced;
A pain to paint!

It's a disdain.
To detach it from my veins,
Watching my affections wane.

It's a change!
Perverse propulsion, *******
Into a new unwilling, unsuspecting
Star, sun, sky.
From the hollows of her heart.
H E L E N A Feb 16
It's certainly not a fond habit of mine,
But there comes an inevitable time
To redefine the value of every borderline.

Pick apart the pretty pieces
And unfold all their concealing creases;

Can the paling be restored with mere polish?

Our decorous veneer has run dry,
So I'll bid you one final frivolous goodbye.

Albeit I must sincerely confess:
They were never the best,
Ergo it hurt less.
H E L E N A Jan 4
The crescendo of a forgotten love,
Incessant humming, drumming ー
Stirring from the cauldron of the soul,
Shot forth into the cold
Skies and seas above.
Sometimes it's best not to bottle it up for too long.
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