Helena Wayte Jan 4
The crescendo of a forgotten love,
Incessant humming, drumming ー
Stirring from the cauldron of the soul,
Shot forth into the cold
Skies and seas above.
Sometimes it's best not to bottle it up for too long.
Helena Wayte Jan 4
A dream of tomorrow
Fills me with utmost sorrow.

You see, I spend these days hollow.
In mindless pain, I wallow.
Happy 2019! :)
Helena Wayte Jan 4
For so long
It was kept under the covers,
Hushed, shushed, smothered.

I lived the lies,
I tried to hide;
Bury the truth and let it die.

But there was a change,
You seemed so close in range.
So close, my resistance began to wane.

The endless sunsets we've seen
Bounded us for a future that once gleamed
For me ー it was all I ever thought I'd need

From you.
Your meanderings misled;
Brought a new strain of dread.

I'm still smiling.
I've always been, around you.
I was your tool ー your fool.

I knew sunrise was near,
And my heart was full of fear
But there was something you needed to hear:

"I love you."
I did with all my heart,
Even as we were growing further apart.

Even if we were intoxicated,
Even if I made things more complicated,
Even if it was not reciprocatedー

You said we'd see the sun rise,
And your lie to me was no surprise but
Why did I still cry?
For the sun I will never again see, even in the clearest of blue skies.

I never did and never will get the chance to actually tell him, I guess. I don't want to ruin what we have (or don't) now.
Helena Wayte Dec 2018
A touch of darkness
Gently lifts the veil of dawn.
I smile.

You are not there.

Take on the morning waltz,
Like ghosts ー drifting on;
Cycle of love,

Harrowing raptures.

Your scent, an acute absence
of apples, roses and sunlight,
Fills and intrudes and begs to consume

The remains of my rationality.
He -- an apple so harrowing and sweet.
Helena Wayte Dec 2018
The sun slinks behind the clouds,
A fitting mask; your glimmering shroud.

And the cold showers of glitter,
I stuck my tongue out ー they tasted bitter.

They would not halt;
Too much, and I was just appalled.
Removed from their melodic shroud,
Your words were simply too loud.
Helena Wayte Dec 2018
Rhythmic incessant thuds,
Drum rolls of flowing blood.
They ringed in my ears,
Welcomed my deepest fears.

A fragility of the flesh,
Shredding open with each new lash.
A fortress of stones, bone-brittle,
Shattering like an overflooded skull.

Haemorrhage, haemorrhage
How they gush,
Bright red, lovesick
Always in a rush.

To think that each wall I built
Only heightened the fall.
Each scar was a sensation,
I know they watched in awe.

Of flesh and stone,
They contest my throne.
Non-consensual,
but eventual.
Which "me" will I be today?
Helena Wayte Dec 2018
Drinking through night and day
Will never be a good play,
But it kept all thoughts of you at bay;
Your flippant, finicky, frivolous ways.

How else could I mask my dismay?
The B-side of 'Relapse'.

You told me it's over so now I'm sad when I'm sober.
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