Frozen beauty
breathtakingly
preserved in his
running watercolour,
rough charcoal,
faded photograph film,
A beauty forevermore-
stilled yet alive.

Hate swirls deep within my gut.
Hands covered in blood.
Muffled shouts—
I can't decipher
over the raging whirlpool
that is my mind.
I wipe the blood away,
but it comes back.
I don’t know how to hide it.
Everyone is looking now—
a thousand sets of beady eyes,
loudly judging in silence.
Murderer.
Traitor.
I hear their screeching now.
My ears bleed.
Guilty, GUILTY!
NO - I swallow the glass shards
with an unearthly growl
It hurts so much so
I run, far away.
Deep into the woods.
My lungs burn red too.
black smoke emerges from my ribcage
A trail I must follow
A one-track mind
follows the one-track path.
I run and I run—
faster, more desperate.
Footsteps thunder behind me
Are they His or mine?
I can see it now:
salvation.
I walk
to the glittering door
in the sky
straight off the edge
of a cliff.

Eight years experience,
I’ll have you know,
Been working since seven
Kinda tired of it now.
No rest for the wicked,
so I’ve been told.
“Choose, him or me girls?”
“You evil *****”
“Leave, before I call the police”
“Get out the way”
“You can take the kids with you”
He doesn’t want us.
Please, girls
Daddy doesn’t want to do this.
I can smell the lies,
they flow like water now.
She looks at me,
make him leave,
don’t worry mama,
I will.
But then I look to my right
my sisters eyes
full of unshed tears.
No, I look away,
it’s my job.

Why? you ask,
Why do you hide?
For protection-
because it’s safer,
than being seen.

If all I must do is lie,
wear a snarling mask,
bare sharp teeth
so they don’t hurt me,
I will.

I’ve learned to walk
like I belong with the pack,
echo their growls,
So they
keep their distance.

I pretend to be the ones I’ve feared,
I hunt and harm,
not because I want to,
but to hide
among the wolves of the world.

But still-
to lie for protection
does not make me good,
So, really,
I am no better than a wolf
in sheep’s clothing.

Writers die young,
but those loved
by a writer
live forever —
through scrappy handwriting
on yellowing pages
of verse and prose
full of adoration,
unconditional love
from an old soul
with a heart too big
for their own good.

Princess,
I have no crown to offer,
but still—I vow to be your protector.
you gifted me this rose,
which lies silent on my bedside,
so that you’d remain in my heart, forevermore
but you never needed to,
for you scorched my heart,
with a fire that never ceases.
But I, a knight,
may love and lose—
yet am ever bound to solitude.

And my princess,
she already had her prince.
I was just a shadowed knight
for any damsel in need,
But she, no longer in distress—
and I, never to ride into the light
Our paths forever parallel,
but never to unite,
because ‘twas always thus.
And always thus
will be.

“Throw her into the deep end,”
they said.
“She’ll learn to swim soon enough.”

Maybe she will,
but you know,
it won’t be easy
the tides will grasp her firm
and try to drag her under
her lungs will scream
she may wail
and desperately thrash
the tumultuous current will beat her down
her arms ache, so does her heart
she’ll sink once or twice,
wonder whether it’s worth the fight,
but with time
and I can’t say how much
she will gain strength
and slowly but surely
she will begin to swim against the current
claw her way back
to the shallow end
and she’ll be able
to look them all in the eye
scars bare, clothes torn
but a wicked smile.

Sleepless summer nights,
salty golden curls,
green swim shorts,
charming, star-speckled smiles.
Soft-spoken words,
guileless promises,
chilled beach air,
lapping waves,
crickets chirping,
cans cracking,
laughter echoing through darkness—
bonfires illuminating faces.
Lost in the labyrinth of bare love,
mistakes made,
heartbreak— inevitable.
Sunburnt hearts.

We think we have so much of it.
So, day by day,
we wait.
We wander aimlessly.
We unconsciously waste.

We live quiet,
muted little lives,
always looking forward—
but never far enough
to see what could be.

But we have two lives.
The second—
it begins
the moment we realise
we only get one.

So, carpe diem.

Because the graveyards
are full of tormented souls
who thought
they had more time.

Y’know,
the world is flying
right past you now
the water is dark and thrashing
approaching quickly
to flood your lungs
but not before
time floods your mind
with everything
you’re about to lose.

Never again, will you
elbow her in the backseat
dying of laughter
over something
no one else would get
Never see her cap and gown
and smile awkwardly
for a quick family pic
Never hold shaking hands
down the aisle.
The only church you’ll share now—
she’ll be in black,
you’ll be in a box.

Never again, will you feel
the leash tug
after some sly squirrel
Never again hear
a sudden bark
break a silent morning
and never again be greeted
by kisses and tail wags —
not now.
Instead he’ll sit
wondering where you went,
when you’re coming back

Never again, will you
love till your heart hurts
laugh till your ribs ache
cry till your throat’s sore
lie awake contemplating life
feel the familiar burn of the sun.
scream to the sky
just because
Never, experience
the extraordinary mess
that we call life —
ever again

And even if you wanted to—
even if you begged—
it’s too late now.
you’re already
going down.