Methanol*

You were my first secret handshake
but handshakes are history,
why should I befriend a snake,
when I could avoid the misery?

I'm not imploding from the pain
of having no real closure,
no need for guilt to
build my heart a terrain
over your lack of composure.

The smiles you saw
after I pulled the trigger,
after my deed,
were a symptom of no remorse,
no blister
for plucking power out of a ****.

it kills me
to know that you've turned to
those things.

you were getting better, you were.
you made a promise to me and to
yourself
that swore off those things

those things
that make you
giddy and glossy and
float and fall and
soar and sad and
dream and drunk

and make you not you.

i can't help you
no matter how much i want to or
how hard i try.

because in the end, it's you who will have to make the decision
you, who will have to control yourself
you, who will have to realize what you've become.

You take a ****
Maybe even crack a joke
The dull comes alive
Music becomes a door
To another world,another place
Losing track of time when you hear that bass

Problems seem to find solutions, that might just be crazy enough to work
Flashbacks on a movie reel runs across your mind.  Back to that door

Of possibilities

I inhaled cannabis for the first time
I felt a freedom I felt free from life
I felt that life was nice and I could live
When my high came down I felt my life wasn't real

To be in a different world, a peaceful world
Is a world I want to live in
I want to be free
I want to live
I want to be me
I want peace


Yours truly

my dire Sverige
with blood in her hair
still chosen in knees

that kiss my spirit
with rarity upon brow

watch-listen-inspire
an influx hasten and
only wrought me pier

mirror, hour, tablet
her quest is in change
see every moment dawn
by a monument in land

she belligerent retire here
with her radiant shine alight
a lawn overcome in ****.

breaking it down is half the work
a step that must never be skipped
rolling it up in your leaf of choice
is a step that must be considered art
the first light is the most important
a step that is for the one who crafted
they should also be the first to enjoy it
a step the rest respect
eventually all power is seemingly gone
from the one who created
and everyone feels equal once their turn has passed
yet let us not forget the one who rolled it
for they are the one who has saved the rest

lists of lies told to our parents
hide the cigarettes hide the smell breathing **** rips out the window
check the hall check the smell we're doing well
you never introduce your parents to the friend that is always high
the friend that betrays the lie
by not bothering to conceal
the misery in their eyes
straight for a weekend straight for a dinner happy for a phone call
we do this to ourselves under pressures from every direction
some will decay inwards implosion
while the others will be building
swirling expanding explosion
something and nothing are in constant balance
who is responsible who are you disappointing
what is the worst thing that could happen
if you admitted you weren't doing okay
do you honestly think your parents will stop loving you
if you tell them your friends smoke ***
**** this species