In the brash brassy light you stand,
shaky, on two feet
like a lethargic elephant

swaying---always swaying
and the light keeps blazing
and your head keeps spinning

You are beyond the point of exhaustion
there is nothing left
no trace of the self that was

If it is time to sleep
Sleep will not come
She is mad at you

you have refused her
for too long- an accident,
really- but normally

she welcomes you back
normally she is happy to
see you, and you float into her arms

not this time

so you keep swaying under that light
until crawling into bed
and the waiting begins

-------------------------------------

While the world sleeps
you turn and turn
worn from the hours
of thinking about anything
but sleep
the comforter brings no comfort
the pillow does not ease the strain
of your neck, the weight of
your head or
of that racing mind

the worst part about being awake
in the middle of the night
is that there is time
to think about all the thoughts
you pushed away before-
they creep up
and turn into waking nightmares
beastly what-ifs and why-didn’t-I’s

the insomniac is most insecure
with nothing to do

during the day you may
busy your tired body with tasks
ignoring the ache of the eyelids,
the pounding of the head

but at night you cannot
make yourself move
a house is sleeping
the world is sleeping
and you have to pretend
that you are as well

so you stare up at the ceiling
(you have memorized the cracks)
or you count and count sheep
(you have reached 100 and back)
and it’s all so pointless
don’t you see?

The Insomniac is fighting a battle
that never ends

a battle that makes you weaker everyday

how long till your body gives out
and will not fight
anymore?

I’ve chosen fight today,
I’ve been choosing fight every single night and day.
I bear the scars now of victories
And the still dripping wounds of defeats.
I’m a fighter now
I fought for me and you.
If I could I’d lay down this spear.
Just to rest for a day or year,
But battles need to be fought.
So I’ll just keep choosing fight instead of flight
Until it’s no longer needed.

Coffee blotched wool woven seats
Impassive solidarity on your ***
Dank rapidness
Screeching scream let loose as we transend
Through bleak blackness
Thoughts stream
"Wisdom teeth dont make you any brighter"
"But Starbucks coffee makes my stomach..."
...turn left
Stale air in my every crevasse
The doors to the train open
Crowded shuffles between aged avacado quiescent places
Those weary may rest on, float on
Shallow jolted perfume
As cucumber melon intoxication erupts
On undetermined destinations
Aspiring poets gaze
Out into the open world of
Twinkling city stars
On curved paths
On dipped forks in the road
"All passengers must exit"
Crowded shuffles between aged avacado quiescent places
Those weary return home

I believe that some of the best art
Comes from a dark place
Not sure what I look like in your eyes,
But clouds inhabit my space
It’s been some time since I felt the heat
And the walls closing in are cold and bleak

Every time that I arise and look up to the morn,
All I find is leery signs and others of forlorn
I was ravished by the wind
And beaten by the rain
I had given it my all and still had nothing to gain

I found peace and I’ve lost it before
He showed me the truth and I’ve only craved more
I found peace once by the pond
With the bees circling in the valley
But even that dissolved once we strolled into saturated alley

Well where did I go?
Where did he lead me?
If I had the chance to tell you...
You wouldn’t believe me

I was ravished by the wind
And washed down with the rain
I know how hard work is to bring success
But all that love results in, is pain
I know that every time is different
But you’re always left feeling the same
With no one else but you and yourself to blame
Alone in the well is where I was left to wither and wane

I hope they’ll be coming for me finally
As I can now feel the pressure
But the light in me is reminding...
That it is the only thing that holds me together

Tiny swallows circle far above
White clouds
Carefree and gay

Below my heart wanders within
Dry stones
Heavy and sad

How long before I can soar
Unshackled?

Come evening stars
Enlighten my way


By Wyle Tan

Once was a lone ***** seated bedside,
a depressed nostalgia repressed in his mind
as with a whisper his weary bones creaked
and he slipped once again into lower tide.

Upon his face rested an eye filled with pus
and his few greasy locks glued down gently
upon a brow cracked and creased
holding a number of sores so superfluous.

He smiled but it would not reach his soul
as his shoulders slumped and quivered while
arthiritic hands reached upon a mantle
and a synapse snapped losing further control.

He grasped at a picture with suicidal glee,
black and white, two children sat smiling
a boy and a girl one vaguely familiar.
A drop hit the photo, blood, sweat, tears, or
in-between.
His fingers stroked the dust filled image
and he hissed,
"I love you so much more than you have ever known me."

i
am so weary
of
everything there were
days
that i feel
like
i can do it
i
can live like
i
used to but
i
just don't know
what
to do anymore
when
moments where i
feel
like everything is
so
pointless come should
i
let it? must
i
fight the feeling?
can
i even do either?

they say humans
are complicated or
rather they make
things complicated we
are the reason
for every single
thing that happens
in this world
then must i
blame myself for
feeling this way?

Why
can't
I
just
forget
the
feeling
of
failing
and
falling?
Why?

This rain
So cold
This pain
Now old
Your words
Loud enough
To slash my
Heart like a
Sword
As I walk
Alone
Chills run
Down my
Bones
And you
Stand laughing
As if I was
A dancing
Clown
My tears you
Can't see
The fears that
grasps me
The shadows
In which I live
Each day
Tortures my soul
And darkens
My way
The light is bleak
The path is dry
Whom shall I seek
These thoughts
Make me cry...


©sim