someday there will be those who come after us soft boys and tough boys rough girls and fluff girls and every shade of other in between someday they will sit where we have sat and talk of what we said and we will hand our world over to them and they will take it this fragile trembling beast (we called it earth) and it will be their world and it will not be the same world this earth-thing, this legacy relies on every story every creature that has ever walked across its skin and I for one will tread lightly softly and paint flowers instead of trampling them
Red Red is Mondays, swirling in a poisoned cloud Like the aether Ready to grab my hand And throw me into the middle of the week Before I know What it is exactly that I have touched And before I am ready as well
Red is apples Macintosh melancholy And candle wax galas Red is an explosion Of dark magic Red and black, the perfect duo Twisting and weaving in their dance All low notes And timpani rumbles And middle C And like the dueling harmonies Red is too loud Too bright And at the same time Always present Always safe
Red is blood In the same way my emotions are of pearl Luminescent and shifting
Forget me, I ask you. I forgot my smile, I forgot my laugh. I forgot me as a child, I forgot my wrath. For I have forgotten myself. So don’t try and think that I am near I won’t be here And go away, Once I fade, Forget my wrath, Forget me as a child. Forget my laugh, Forget my smile. I ask you, Forget me.
Those involuntary thoughts of hurting yourself, to cut yourself, to tear your body to pieces. To cry without restraint. To scream so hard your voice breaks. To break into chunks of fat and mold, colliding onto the floor. To dissolve in the ocean, To self-combust; To be born again and whole.
ffff, on my way there. grabbing some eggs and milk from the store. why did you want milk again? you know we never end up using it. -October 8, 2018
If I am out with lips stained hues Of poisoned berries and rotted fruit And skin so like an airbrushed doll You wonder if I am real at all If the gleams of sparkles under my eyes Catch the light and make you blind If my wings take flight in the wind And my lashes drip ink like a sin Pray for me.
Because the color on my lips is there So I don’t forget my voice. And a porcelain face can smile as long As its cracks are covered with paint. And the glitter alit on my cheeks Covers the bags of too little sleep (when my soul is so tired I just want to cry it’s nice to feel pretty with something that shines.)
So pray for me Because today, I have put up my walls My heart is down and I am small My makeup is not a show for you It’s a reminder to me that I’m visible too.