what is it called when you need constant reassurance of your importance?
what is it called when you require frequent contact and kisses to feel wanted?
or when you feel like you don't matter at all to the person who matters to you.
what is it called?
cause i cannot find any appropriate words to describe how i feel.
how i am intensely pathetic and miserable both with and without you.
what even does that mean?
i'm nervous for the fallout
for the day you look into me and say
that you no longer love me.
i feel it coming
i sense it with my whole being
i can already feel you leaving me;
how my chest caves in
my knees grow weak
and my cries go unnoticed
but you still walk away
until then you just turn your head.

Never before have I felt this way
Never before have I been afraid of what I have to say
Unstable and easy to sway
I was always the huntress now I'm the prey
Falling asleep to tears at the end of the day

I have never felt unwanted
Used to flying now I'm stunted
Always accepted and now shunted
Only temporarily hunted
Then tossed aside and bunted

Swallowed by the fear
Feeling alone without you near
It's a sour wine the final tear
Standing at the end of the line holding up the rear
Watching her win with her evil leer

Struggling to get to the top
So full of goodness and ready to pop
You have no idea what you let drop

Now that I'm left unwanted again
I'm left wondering out of boredom
If a person really needs to be wanted

I never wanted an apology,
I just want my life back.
I just want my breath back.
What can I get back with a sorry?
*Nothing, and that's what I want you to mean

The things I wanted the most
was never beyond fear.

The dam is open.
A flood released.
The sensation is too overwhelming,
I fall clenching my knees.
I am that little girl again,
sobbing
feeling so incredibly alone
reaching for a hand,
any hand
to tell her she is wanted.
I reach deep inside
to hold that little girls hand.
I grab it with fervor.
You are not alone
for I am with you.
You are always wanted
because without you
I couldn’t be the woman I am today.
So sleep soundly,
because of you little girl,
we only need each other.

I have never been able to put into words how you make me feel

(speciallovedimportantbeautifuladored)

How your touch sends tingles from my spine down to my toes

(delicious)

How your hands feel, running over my skin as if it were silk

(needyourtouch)

How your lips feel against my skin

(softsmoothgentleloving)

How your tongue feels against my teeth

(wantcravedesire)

How your arms feel around me

(safehomesafeprotectedsafewarmsafeloved)

How your gentle touch caresses away my tears

(it's okay dear you don't need people who treat you like that anyways)

How your eyes run across every inch of me, like you love what you see

(do you really? yes)

How your quiet, slow voice comforts me

(we'll be okay I promise and even if we're not I won't leave I'll be here by your side always darling I promise)

How your words become stuck in my mind

(minemycuddlebugminemybeautifullittlegirlmine)

You make me feel

loved
special
adored
beautiful
desired
important
wanted
safe

see the sun
its light bends around you
like how your fingers and smile do

see the moon
it protects you while you rest
and your dreams say thank you

see the clouds
when you are feeling fatigue
they shade your porcelain skin

see the flowers
as your lungs fill up with its aromas
it makes you instinctively grin

see the wind
its invisible however it can see and feel you
swirling though your silky hair

see the trees
giving you a perfect place to read
and also providing you air

see the mountains
they encourage you to keep climbing
making you feel wanted and precious

see the vines
they wrap around your delicate body
proudly hugging you underground
     breathless