I am clear in my head and perhaps in heart that it is not love,
It is my own lack that I look to fill through you.
Isn’t it true that you also felt that you could fill your void with me?  
Isn’t it all what we look for, in a relationship?
Sometimes I want just that…
Why can’t we have our cup filled by someone?
Why is there an image of ideals and perfection…
That we have to be all for ourselves,
Not needing validation.
Why do we strive to be all?

I exist
No matter what...
Despite...

I exist
Fearlessly,
Securely,
Confidently,
Rightfully,
Claiming my space in the universe
I exist...because
I AM.
And I cant be anything else other than ME.

I want to hug
my son's son
60 years from now.

With beauty,
and pain,
and wonder,
and heartbreak
written into the lines
across my face.

Telling him
he is enough.
He'll always be enough.

"Validation, valediction
What's the difference now?
Eschew the standard
Turn the paradigm upside down
You could be happy, if you wanted to be
Don't feel obliged to live a life you never wanted to
The best way out is straight through
Let intuition guide you
You could be happy, if you wanted to be".

I don’t know who I am
I don’t even feel like a person
maybe that’s why I enjoy *** so much
to receive attraction
a validation of existence
proving a planet exists through its moon’s orbit.

I am still a child, even today
While my skin grows and stretch marks rise
And for years all I ever craved was attention from anyone with eyes, or vocal chords to say anything to me
Now I am older, and I would have thought I’d learn how to live in my skin,
How to live with myself
But now I am a shell of what I once was
Who I used to be
The life and will to survive has left my body, I am decrepit and weak
Yet the leech inside me only grows quicker and quicker with every heart beat
I hate how much I hate myself
I’d give all the money in the world for some way out
Some way to feel
My body feels foreign, I can’t recognize it
And I’d live in the body of everyone else before my own,
Because I know I’ll never be comfortable inside of myself
Maybe I should accept what has become of me
That I’ll never be who I was, or who I wanted to be
That I spent years searching for validation where I knew it would never be found
Just for the thrill that I might just reach it
Even though I know I never will

Feed me meaning and resilience
The bitter sweet,
Social validation
Creeping,
With thorns around my skull

Addicted to your thought.
Addicted to a corpse.
Addicted to the stories.
Feeling under valued
Like a statue, I feel it all

Today I surrender,
And set an intention.
Be wide open
to less,
Social Validation.

You don’t need validation.
You have already received it
through the simple act of being born
the beautiful, imperfect creature that you are.

I like to end the game with my shields up
And my hero buffed
And enhancement stuffed
But sometimes that isn't enough
Sometimes I kick the loser while they're down
So they can join me below the ground
In this mentality where I drown

Life is a test
And I gave up
In this game I'm the best
So it's here I'm stuck
In a world of fable
A developer's tale
Where I prevail
And find validation
By achieving victory
Then causing agitation
Because of my misery

Victory means I'm better
Victory means I'm smarter
Once your flag is fettered
I call you a starter
Thinking I'm somehow harder
Discounting my partners
In this digital harbor

With all my bickering
There's no mystery
Why the result starts differing
I hear the enemy team snickering
As my team starts whimpering

I feel my fortune shifting
Once luck isn't with me
And the match starts drifting
From a victorious gifting
To quite laborious indeed

I put all my time into this game
And nothing else
So I feel immense shame
From digital welts
This individual hell
Of a darkened cell
Is where I fell
Convinced my ability
Is proof of some secret potential
I give my life willingly
To prove to gamers I'm special